The Seeker
by QuarterflashWoman
Summary: With Donna and Eric's own relationship kaput, after Eric left Donna at the altar, what does this mean for our favorite opposites-attract couple Steven and Jackie? Wedding bells, baptisms, betrayals, and ultimatums. It's just another year in the lives of those of Point Place.
1. Chapter 1

**I don't own That 70s show, or its characters. This is purely a fiction written for fun. Hope you enjoy!**

 **The Seeker**

The air was crisp, sharp with the scent of fall. Steven steered the El Camino down Franklin, towards the center of town, propping his elbow on the open window. They drove past the empty church, and Steven felt his stomach swoop uncomfortably, settling  
in the pit of his abdomen. Donna's compact red car was still parked at the back of the lot, and he could just make out her fiery hair, and Jackie's dark locks in the front seat, as they drove past.

"I can't believe Eric did not show," Fez said, picking at the cuff of his jacket. "Is there no chance for true love?"

"We'll find him, man, he's just got cold feet," Steven assured Fez, his eyes scanning the roads for any sign of the Cruiser. "Keep an eye out, Fez."

Fez sighed dramatically. He unrolled a tootsie roll, popping the candy into his mouth. "We've been driving around for thirty minutes, Hyde. We've passed by the church four times. Face it, he's not here."

Steven chewed on his lower lip, the setting sun glinting off his sunglasses. He came to a stop at the light, downshifting to first. Fez was right; Eric was gone. Steven knew it he wasn't an idiot. But he couldn't stand the look on Donna's face when she  
had realized that she had been left at the alter, jilted in front of her family and friends. Steven gripped the steering wheel rigidly, his knuckles white. He eased off the clutch, turning onto Green Bay Road. "One more sweep, man, then we'll go to  
the Forman's."

"Alright," Fez agreed, his attention returning out of the car. "One more sweep."

They drove past The Hub, past the high school, and around Mount Hump, all without sign or sound of Eric Forman. The Piggly Wiggly was full of shopping mothers. The Foto Hut shack was empty as the day Leo had left it. The Hub had its usual plethora of  
high school teens, none of whom had shaggy hair atop a gangly body.

Our Lady of Perpetual Sorrow was the last stop on the loop. A secret hope that maybe Eric had just been running late, or lost track of time tensed the air. Steven half expected to see the Cruiser parked out front, Eric waiting before the church doors,  
confused as to why everyone had left before he'd arrived. Fez leaned forward, his dark eyes scanning the empty lot. The forlorn lament that left Fez's lips answered perfectly the way Steven felt himself. Steven pulled into a space at the front of  
the church, letting the Camino idle. His eyes swept the empty spaces; Donna and Jackie had finally left, headed towards the Forman's.

"Alright, let's leave it," Steven said tersely, putting the Camino in reverse. The Camino's tires squealed, leaving two identical stripes of black on the pavement as Steven fishtailed out onto the main road. Fez gripped the door as the force of the turn  
threw off his equilibrium.

The Forman's driveway was packed with vehicles, and Steven parked at the curb. He hurried up the walk, peering into the garage. But the orange hood of the Toyota was all that greeted him.

"He's really gone," Fez announced sorrowfully, following Steven into the kitchen.

"Did you find him?" Red asked as Steven and Fez entered the living room. Mrs. Forman paused by her husbands' side, knocking the edge of her wedding band gently against the side of her wine glass.

"Nope," Steven said, stopping at Red's pea green chair. "Searched the whole town, no sign of the him or the Cruiser."

Jackie frowned, turning her attention to Donna. She placed a comforting hand on the red head's shoulder, Jackie's rounded eyes finding Steven's again. Discomfort and brusque silence swept over everyone as Pam sipped at her glass of wine, her lips puckered.  
Donna sniffled, looking down at her lap. She wrung her hands, rubbing the flesh scarlet. "I can't believe he just _left_."

"Oh, Donna," Jackie started, stopping herself. She chewed on the inside of her cheek and patted Donna's shoulder. "Just think, now you won't have to live in that stinky trailer."

Donna chuckled half-heartedly. She swiped the pads of her fingers under her eyes, smearing mascara. "True. Still…"

Steven took a seat on the side table just as the phone rang. Silence fell heavily over the already tense room save for the shrill trilling of the phone. Mr. Forman looked expectantly to Steven, and the latter picked up the receiver, clearing his throat  
before answering.

"Hello?"

"Hyde? It's me," Eric said. His voice crackled over the line. "Hey. Man, look I'm not coming."

"Yeah, we kind of figured," Steven answered sarcastically.

Eric's voice sounded heavy, and he coughed on the other end. "Look, I just- She's going to be miserable married to me. I can't do that to her, man, I love her too much. She's gotta get out of this town."

"Well do you want to talk to her?" Steven asked, his eyes briefly meeting Donna's. "She's sitting right here."

"No!" Eric yelled, surprising them both with the force of his voice. "Look, I'll call back later, I gotta go, times running out on the payphone."

"Alright, man. Bye." Steven replaced the phone on its cradle, clearing his throat once more. He could feel everyone's eyes fixed on him, and he rubbed the palms of his hands together, thinking of what to say.

"Well?" Donna asked exasperatedly . Two red pinpricks rose high on her cheekbones.

Steven sighed, licking his lips. Donna's eyes were pained when Steven met her gaze. He could see her swallow thickly, the sheen of fresh tears glazing over her irises. "He said he's not coming. Not tomorrow, not to the wedding. He's gone."

Donna scoffed, a couple of tears escaping to race down her cheeks. Jackie crossed her arms, her mouth pursed. She seemed to deflate as Donna softly cried beside her, the other occupants embarrassed to be witness to such a personal moment. The room was  
thick with tension. Mr. Forman shook his head, moving over to the wet bar to pour a couple fingers worth of whisky.

"I'm going to go home," Donna whispered, her voice heavy with tears. She stumbled out of the room, palming open the swinging door, with the sound of her heels clacking across the linoleum kitchen tiles echoing into the living room.

"I think we're going to go too," Bob said, reaching for Pam's hand. They set aside their drinks, standing together with hands clasped tight. "Make sure she's ok."

"I'll pack you some leftovers," Kitty said, grabbing a platter of empanadas from the coffee table and hurrying into the kitchen. "Only thing to cure a broken heart is food!"

Steven moved to sit next to Jackie as the adults filtered out of the room. She leaned into his side, arms crossed firmly under her breasts. Fez unwrapped another candy, working it around his mouth, the hard candy clicking against his teeth. They remained  
silent, the sound of the clock ticking and the muffled voices of Kitty and Red the only distraction from the events that had unfolded.

"Man, am I glad to be here with you guys!" Kelso announced, bursting in through the front door. He slammed the door behind him, his smile morphing into a scowl as he entered the living room. "Hey, what's going on? Where is everyone?"

Jackie turned to look at him, "Eric ditched Donna at the alter."

"What? No way!" Kelso sank to the couch on Steven's other side, his knees spread wide. "Man, I was really looking forward to something happy and full of love too. Lunch with Brooke and her mom _did not_ go as well as I'd hoped."

"Big surprise there," Steven said derisively under his breath. Taking Jackie's hand, he pulled her up off of the couch, motioning for the others to follow. "I know what'll help. A circle."

The gang trooped through the kitchen, hurrying past Red and Kitty into the basement. Fez shut the door behind them, jogging down the stairs as Steven grabbed his stash from the box of Monopoly. Kelso and Fez arranged the chairs around the spool table,  
as Jackie plopped onto the couch, smoothing her skirt over her thighs.

"So Brooke's mom wants to take Brooke to Chicago to have the baby," Kelso said, sinking into the lawn chair. "And she wants them to live there. Without me."

"Well, you could always move to Chicago, Michael," Jackie said.

"Who would want to live in Chicago? Besides the lake, there's nothing to do there," Michael argued, staring down at the spool table dejectedly.

"Brooke and the baby, maybe could use having you around?" Steven reminded him, packing a bowl.

"I guess," Michael said, watching Steven light the bowl, and take the first hit. His brows drew together on his forehead. "Eric really ran off?"

"When I find him, I am going to kick him so hard, he won't be able to walk for a week!" Jackie exclaimed, taking the bowl from Steven. She took a hit, holding her smoke for a few seconds. "I can't believe he did that to Donna. What a coward."

"Yeah, Forman usually ruins things by actually being there," Steven said, scratching at his side burns.

Jackie turned to Steven, a glint of mischief in her eye. "You know, Steven, since the church is booked and all-"

"No." Steven interrupted.

"Oh, come on!" Jackie exclaimed.

Fez took the bowl from Michael, holding it and the lighter loosely in his hands. "I just realized! Cockroach beats nuclear bomb! Let's play again, and I warn you, I will be cockroach."

-x-

Steven dropped the tailgate on the El Camino, wrapping an arm about Jackie's shoulders as they stared out over the town from their perch atop Mount Hump. She shivered in the cold October air and he pulled her closer, pressing a kiss to her sweet-scented  
hair.

"Steven?" Jackie asked, nuzzling under his chin.

"What, Doll?"

Jackie turned to look at him, her face open and loving. "Would you ever want to get married?"

"Not this again, Jackie, we've already talked about this," Steven said tiredly. He chewed on his tongue, staring resolutely over the small town spread out before them. Wind buffeted them, and Steven adjusted his position, stuffing his free hand into his  
pocket.

"I know we did, it's just-" Jackie started, staring up at him. The look of love and adoration was fading. "Well, I mean, we're getting older, Steven. You've graduated, and I'm about to graduate, and we need to think ahead. Plan for the future."

"Jackie, we're still young. We're still teenagers," Steven argued, feeling like a broken record. His chest swelled as he took a deep breath. "I don't understand why you keep bringing this up."

"Because, Steven!" Jackie said hotly. She pulled out of his grasp. "When _will_ we talk about this? You never want to talk about anything pertaining to the future. It's like you have no plans, or goals, or wants!"

"I have plans, Jackie!" Steven disputed.

"Oh?" Jackie asked, turning to him. She wrapped her coat tightly about her. "Like what? Tell me one plan you have for the future."

Steven's jaw tensed and he broke his stare with the town, looking to the trees surrounding The Overlook instead. Leaves swirled from the branches, landing in multi-colored piles around them.

What plans did he have for the future, exactly? He worked a dead end job as a chef at a hotel that catered to the "elite" of Point Place, had a meager amount of money saved and lived in a basement. Not even his own basement, but someone else's basement.  
And Jackie wanted him to decide his whole future in an hour. He'd never been one to make plans. He went with the flow, riding the waves of possibility whenever they arose, often taking unnecessary risks that somehow always worked out in his favor.  
He lived the mediocre life, and that was fine with him. 

"Steven?" Jackie prompted.

"I don't know, Jackie," Steven answered stormily. He felt his face mutate into a glower, and he worked his jaw in an effort to alleviate the tension.

"Well, what about us?" Jackie continued.

Steven looked at her. "What about us?"

Jackie's mouth dropped open, her eyes wide. "Well? Are we going to get married? Have kids? Do you even want that with me?"

Steven shrugged, staring over her head. The wind picked up, assaulting him with the scent of Jackie's perfume. He could see a future with her, true. One that was strikingly similar to what they had now. Something chill, cool. No pressure of balls and  
chains shackling him to her for the rest of their lives. If only she'd quit harping him with the subject. As soon as Forman had proposed to Donna, the sound of wedding bells had been ringing continuously in Jackie's ears. It was beginning to drive  
Steven mad. And look where that had gotten Donna. Sure, when he was older, in his twenties, maybe even his thirties secure in a job, then yeah. Then he'd propose, if the timing were right.

"You don't know?" Jackie asked incredulously. "How can you not know? This isn't like picking out which ratty, band t-shirt you want to wear today, Steven, this is about us-"

"Jackie!" Steven sputtered. His hands rose to his eyes, rubbing hard enough to send bright white stars exploding over his lids. "Enough!"

"No, Steven, not enough!" Jackie cried, standing from the tailgate. "I need something, Steven, just _open up to me_! I can never figure out what you're thinking!"

A fire engine's siren wailed, sounding thin as it was carried on the breeze towards them. Steven met Jackie's eye, noting the sheen of tears that had welled up, coating her lashes. He rubbed his lips together, nodding his head slowly. Jackie sounded close  
to tears, working to swallow over the lump that had settled in her throat. She scuffed the toe of her boot across the dirt, puckering her lips together.

"Jackie," Steven whispered, holding out a hand. "Come here."

Jackie slapped a hand into his, jerking when he pulled her to stand between his knees. She avoided his eye, pouting. It was a trick she had used on him too many times to count, Steven thought, a smirk covering his lips. Caving to her had been the easiest  
way to keep her happy, but he wasn't going to cave on this. The stakes were too high. It wasn't just his future; it was hers on the line too. In the end, he'd just disappoint her. He'd never be able to make enough money to give her all the expensive  
things she wanted. And kids? Steven wasn't sure he even wanted the smelly brats.

Steven wrapped his arms about Jackie's waist, anchoring her to him. She kept her arms crossed over her body as Steven drew her into a hug, his forehead falling to rest on her shoulder. "You gotta stop this, Doll. We've got time to talk about things. Ok?"

Silence answered him.

"Look," Steven said, pulling back. His throat felt like it was constricting, his heart pounding in his chest. Butterflies ripped through his stomach, and his fingers twitched. He had only told her once, to win her back, but maybe now was the time to say  
it again. If only to satisfy her, and get her off his back. His fingers gripped the back of her coat. "I know what I feel for you, ok?"

Jackie's eyes finally met his. "And what would that be?"

"You know what it is," Steven answered. Their eyes were locked on each other. Words unsaid pinged between them, and Jackie shifted from foot to foot.

"Maybe I don't." Jackie said. She tightened her hold on her coat, her chin high. "You never assure me. It's like you're just stringing me along till someone whore-y-er with bigger breasts and a tattoo comes along. I know your type, Steven."

"Dammit, Jackie, you know that's not fucking true!" Steven blurted. His arms tightened around her waist, squeezing her.

Jackie's eyebrows arched and she looked at him disbelievingly. She was daring him to say something different, to Prove His Love. That's what she always wanted. For him to fucking Prove His Love.

 _Just say it,_ the little voice in his head demanded. _Just fucking say it, you pansy. It won't kill you!_

"I love you, Jackie," Steven whispered, his voice deep.

The wind had died down, leaving tendrils of her hair tangled over her shoulders. Her arms relaxed slightly, and her lips lost their pout. Her brown eyes were soft in the fading light. "Say it again."

Steven took a deep breath, rolling his eyes. "I love you. Ok?"

"Well don't say it like you have a knife to your throat," Jackie admonished.

"Look, you wanted me to say it, I said it," Steven said, dropping his hold on her.

Jackie spun on her heel, stalking around the side of the Camino to the passenger door. "I want to go home."

"No," Steven said, getting up from the tailgate. He followed her around the side of the Camino, slamming the door closed again. "We're not leaving till we get this figured out. I don't like going to bed angry."

"Steven, you're always angry," Jackie shot back.

"Yeah, about the government controlling the masses and about this stupid town!" Steven retorted. He shifted his weight, crossing his arms. "Look, Jackie, I'm not usually mad at you, and I like keeping it that way."

"Whatever," Jackie said.

Steven's head dropped back on his shoulders, and he stared up at the night sky. He took a couple steadying breaths. Jackie was staring at him expectantly when he looked back to her. This was why he didn't want to talk about the future. He was always disappointing  
her. Never saying what she wanted, or how she wanted.

"Jackie…" Steven said softly. His heart swelled, his veins surging with boiling blood. "I love you."

"Really?" Jackie asked skeptically, her eyebrows drawn together.

"Yes, really," Steven said. He let his gaze fall to the ground. "I don't know what to do to make you believe me."

"Perhaps show it more?" Jackie suggested. "Tell me once in a while?"

Steven chewed on the inside of his cheek, his eyes narrowed as he stared down at her. "I thought you understood, Jackie."

Jackie exhaled roughly. "I thought I did too, Steven. I thought I knew everything about you. But lately, I don't know, I feel like we're on different wavelengths."

"Do you want me to tell you I think we'll get married?" Steven's voice had grown hard. He was sick of this. Sick of this constant banter of Will We Or Won't We. "Do you want me to tell you we'll have two and a half kids and a golden retriever and ride  
off into the sunset on a fucking unicorn every night?"

"Don't mock me, Steven," Jackie said darkly, her eyes narrowed as fresh, new tears welled up.

"I'm not!" Steven yelled, his voice echoing through the trees. "Look, I want to tell you everything that you want to hear Jackie!"

"Then tell me!" Jackie screamed back.

"I won't lie to you!" Steven yelled louder. A murder of crows rose into the air, squawking boisterously. Jackie's jaws snapped shut and she wiped at her eyes. Steven panted angrily. His blood rushed in his ears, and his skin felt itchy with the force  
of his blood coursing through his veins. "You want to get married, Jackie, I get it. But I don't want to get married. You need to get that."

Jackie swallowed hard, a tear coursing down her cheek. "In general, or just to me?"

Steven shook his head slowly from side to side, refusing to follow the instinct to break eye contact. "In general, Jackie."

"I don't understand." Jackie began, her voice showing her frustration. "Why is the thought of marrying me so disgusting to you?"

"You don't disgust me, Jackie," Steven reached for her, cupping her jaw in his hands. "It's the thought of marrying at all. I thought you'd get this, it's not like your parents had a good marriage."

"You don't want to get married because my parents didn't have a healthy marriage?" Jackie asked scornfully. "What about _your_ parents? They weren't exactly the perfect example of matrimonial bliss."

"Exactly!" Steven cried, gripping her face a little tighter. His thumbs caressed her cheeks, catching the droplets of tears that escaped to course down her skin. "I don't want to risk that. I don't want to end up like our parents, Jackie. We're happy  
now, aren't we? Isn't that enough? Why do we need to put our names on a piece of paper to make things real for you?"

Jackie leaned her cheek into his palm, her hands reaching up to wrap around his wrists. Her eyes were glassy, but the tears had dried. Steven leaned forward, pressing a sweet kiss to her strawberry glossed lips. She sighed against his mouth, her fingers  
tightening over his wrists. When he broke away, she was already looking at him, her eyes wide.

"I promise, Jackie, I'll never lie to you," Steven vowed. He kissed her again, with more pressure, his tongue dipping past her lips to taste her. "Alright?"

Nodding jerkily, Jackie propelled herself into his arms, wrapping her own tightly about his neck. "Ok, Steven."

"No more talk about marriage," Steven said, holding her tightly to him. He buried his nose to her neck. "Especially not since Forman just ditched Donna."

"No more talk about marriage…" Jackie repeated, her voice hinting at her lie.

-x-

Jackie eased open Donna's bedroom door, pausing before fully entering the room. Donna was propped up against the wall, her knees bent supporting the book she was blankly staring at.

"Hey," Jackie said, startling Donna.

"Oh, hey," Donna replied, her eyes pinging up to Jackie and then back down to her book. She turned a couple pages back, clearing her throat as she pretended to read. Her red-rimmed eyes settled on Jackie. "Where were you?"

"With Steven," Jackie said, falling to her cot with a sigh. She worked at the zipper on her boots, dropping them one after the other onto the rug. "We went up to The Overlook."

"Romantic," Donna deadpanned. Shereturned to staring blankly at her book, her feet rubbing together under the comforter.

"Have you heard anything from Eric?" Jackie asked softly.

Donna massaged her lips together, shaking her head from side to side.

"Do you want some time alone?" Jackie asked, leaning forward and cupping her knees. "I can sneak over to Steven's."

Donna swallowed thickly, her face scrunching as fresh tears gathered in her eyes. She turned away from Jackie rubbing her cheek against her shoulder as the tears began to fall.

Jackie nodded, standing from the bed. She grabbed a pair of pajamas, shoving her feet into her slippers. At the door, she paused, pivoting on her heel to look at Donna. The Amazon was blubbering, snot leaking from her nose and eyes swollen with fresh  
saline. And Jackie bit back the snide comment that naturally rose, biting her lip roughly. Instead, she surprised herself. Crossing the room, she dropped her pajamas to the end of the bed, sinking to sit beside Donna and wrapped her tightly in a bear  
hug. Jackie's hands swept up and down Donna's back, and Donna clung to her, sobbing uncontrollably.

"I don't get it, Jackie," Donna moaned, her tears soaking Jackie's top. "Why would he do this to me? He said he loved me."

"I don't know, Donna," Jackie whispered, holding Donna tighter.

Donna pulled away, wiping the back of her hand under her nose. "I'd like to be alone."

"Ok," Jackie nodded, standing.

Jackie grabbed her pajamas, heading out of the room. Donna's voice stopped her as she made to close the door quietly behind her.

"Jackie?" Donna called. She shrugged, her face blotchy. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Jackie said, smiling. "Oh, and you should really get some cucumbers. It'll help the swelling."

Donna scoffed. "Thanks."

Jackie closed the door softly, hurrying down the hall. She hummed as she passed by Bob's bedroom door, gagging when she heard her mother's girlish giggle, swiftly followed by Bob's. The yard was dark and Jackie sprinted across the expanse of grass, skirting  
the hedge dividing the two properties. She took the exterior stairs to the basement at a jog, breathlessly banging open the door.

Steven looked up, startled, as Jackie entered the room. He let his propped feet drop to the floor. "Hey, Doll."

"Hi," Jackie answered, dropping her clothes to the couch. She sank to Steven's lap, wrapping her arm about his neck. She kissed him, her hand cupping his cheek. "Can I stay the night? Donna needs some alone time."

"Yeah, sure," Steven responded quickly. He hugged her waist, his eyes dropping to stare at the television. His voice was questioning, his legs bouncing under her. "So, we're ok, right."

Jackie laid her head on his shoulder, her fingers toying with the curls at the nape of his neck. "Of course, Puddin' Pop."

"Hmm," Steven's chest buzzed against her, his deep voice echoing. His clothes were thick with the scent of marijuana, and that heady woodsy scent that was his own natural cologne, and Jackie pressed her nose to his collar, taking a discreet breath. Her  
lips found his neck, leaving a row of soft kisses from his collarbone up to his jaw. Warmth spread down her body, pooling between her thighs. She caught his earlobe between herteeth, sucking gently on the soft flesh. Her sex throbbed and she  
pressed her legs together in an effort to alleviate the pressure. Steven responded in kind. His breaths came out faster, his pulse throbbing under Jackie's touch. His fingers slid under her top, coasting over her searing skin.

He pushed at her hips, easing her off of him. "Come on." 

Jackie grabbed her pajamas, quickly skirting around the couch to meet Steven at the back of the basement. He took her hand, pulling her aggressively into his bedroom. She pressed him up against his door, her hands falling to the buckle of his belt.

A deep, guttural moan left Steven's mouth, and he yanked the hem of her top from her skirt, pulling it up and over her head. They left their clothes piled on the floor, falling onto his cot with matching groans of pleasure. His skin singed her own. Her  
fingers sought his, threading them together as he pushed them up the mattress, his pelvis mooring her to the bed.

Jackie pushed back at his shoulders, turning her head to reach for the box of condoms Steven stored in his dresser. She dropped a foil package on the dresser top, distracted by his touches. His head dropped to her chest, suckling at her breasts, rolling  
her nipples into stiff peaks. Jackie reached between them, grasping his engorged member in her hand. His body twitched as she began to work her fist over him and Jackie smiled with desire. She could read his actions, knew that he loved the way she  
touched him and the wet, hot kisses he placed on her chest and stomach verified it.

Fisting a handful of his curls, Jackie released a breathy "Steven", slanting her mouth to kiss him deeply. His tongue was slick and sweet against her tongue. She sucked on the thick muscle, alternating the pressure till Steven jerked back, wrenching the  
condom off the dresser.

Sitting back on his heels, Steven tore open the foil package, momentarily pausing to watch as Jackie's fingers dipped to her sex, rubbing against herself. She brought a moist finger up her body, circling a pert nipple before bringing the appendage to  
her mouth, sucking her essence from her skin, her eyes fixed on Steven's.

"Fuck." Steven groaned, dropping the condom beside them on the bed. He grasped her hair, leaning over her to thoroughly kiss her mouth, nipping at her lower lip.

"God, Steven," Jackie responded, clutching his shoulders. She brought her hips up, rubbing her glistening sex against Steven's dick, coating him in her juices. "I want you. Now."

Steven pulled back, sheathing himself in the condom. He pushed himself between her knees, gripping her thigh to gain better access.

Jackie moaned wantonly as Steven slid into her. He filled her pleasantly and Jackie felt her insides quiver. She pressed her head back into his pillow, riding out her orgasm at the feeling of him.

"God, you're beautiful," Steven whispered. His unshielded eyes poured out all his affection for her.

"Steven," Jackie moaned again, grasping the back of his neck to pull him in for another kiss.

Steven angled his hips, pushing her thigh up with his leg, and began to move, pumping in and out of her with a solid rhythm. Jackie ran the tip of her tongue along his bottom lip, sighing into his mouth when he captured her lips, dipping his tongue between  
her teeth. Heat settled over her chest and sweat slicked their skin.

"Don't ever leave me, Steven," Jackie moaned, staring deeply into his eyes.

He swallowed thickly, his rhythm never faltering. He shook his head sweat beading on his forehead. "Never."

"Promise me," Jackie demanded.

Steven kissed her deeply again, swallowing whatever response was building on his tongue. Their tongues fielded against the others and Jackie brought her hands to his back, scratching her manicured nails down his skin. Jackie felt an intense pressure building  
deep in her belly. Her insides were slick with her arousal, and she cried out her ecstasy as she came, quivering in Steven's arms. His hips sped up, working to join her in euphoric bliss.

Steven quaked as he came, his breath hot on her skin. He pulled out of her slowly, falling to lie beside her on the cot. Jackie curled against him, pressing kisses to his chest. Their panting breaths calmed them from their highs. Steven wrapped an arm  
about Jackie's shoulders, his fingers tracing circles over her side, eliciting goose bumps.

"I love you, Steven," Jackie whispered, bringing her chin up to kiss his jaw.

"I know, baby," Steven whispered back, tilting his head down to kiss her mouth.

-x-

"We're just going to be friends," Eric announced. "Donna is going to rededicate herself to feminism."

"Wait," Kelso said from his perch by the freezer. "So, are you and Donna together, or not?"

"We're just working through some things, rediscovering ourselves." Eric said, drumming his fingers on the arm of the couch.

"So are you boyfriend and girlfriend, or can you see other people?" Kelso asked.

"Why so interested, Kelso?" Eric asked suspiciously.

Steven plopped into his chair. "He's trying to figure out if he can nail Donna."

"Hyde!" Kelso cried, stamping his foot.

"No, Kelso, you can't nail Donna," Eric said.

"So you two are still a couple?" Fez butted in.

Eric turned to the foreigner. "You can't nail her either."

Fez leaned back in the lawn chair, quirking his brow.

Eric pulled himself up to sit on the back of the couch. "I've got it all figured out, guys, I'm going to take the year off. I'm going to sell Donna's engagement ring, and have a gap year."

"So you're gonna be a bum." Steven supplied, swiping a magazine off the spool table.

"In the grandest European sense of the word!" Eric exclaimed. "So you'll help me find the ring?"

"You don't know where it is?" Fez asked.

"Well," Eric began. "Donna said she threw it off the water tower."

Steven burst out into deep belly laughs. "Man, that sucks. Almost seems like you had a group of friends telling you to not buy her a ring and propose."

The basement door opened, producing Jackie. She set her purse by the record player. "Hey guys. What are we talking about?"

"Forman is going to be a lazy, selfish bum and take a year off from life," Steven said, placing his hands on Jackie's hips as she sat across his thighs.

"And do what?" Jackie asked, smoothing her skirt.

"That's just it," Eric said excitedly. "Nothing!"

"Nothing?" Jackie repeated.

"Nothing!" Eric confirmed.

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!" Jackie scoffed.

"You just don't understand," Eric said, waving his hand at her in dismissal. "Come on, the sooner we find the ring, the sooner I can begin!"

Steven took Jackie's hand, leading her up the stairs to the drive. Donna met the at the tailgate of the El Camino. Her new, shiny blonde hair glowed in the sunlight. "Hey! Where are you going?"

"Water tower," Eric said, meeting her at the bumper.

"Oh, why?" Donna asked, crossing her arms. "We going to paint something new on the tower? Shouldn't we wait till it's a little, I don't know, darker outside?"

"We're going to look for the miniscule diamond Eric bought you and passed off as an engagement ring," Jackie threw in, tapping the toe of her wedge on the cement.

"It wasn'tthat small," Eric defended weakly. "Come on, I was in high school when I got it."

"Steven, if you ever buy me a ring that small, I will never forgive you," Jackie said, prodding his chest with a baby pink nail.

"Good to know," Steven said, adjusting his sunglasses.

Fez, Kelso, Eric and Donna piled into the bed of Camino, two to a side, as Jackie slid across the bench seat to Steven's side. Steven backed out of the drive, speeding through the neighborhood towards the reservoir. The day had grown unseasonably warm  
for October, and Steven rolled the windows down, basking in the warm breeze that swept over them.

His eyes caught sight of his friends in the back, smiling and laughing. He brought his arm to curl around Jackie's shoulder, and he smirked, accelerating through an intersection. Things had settled down, seemingly back to normal. Jackie had quit her yammering  
about marriage. Donna and Eric had worked out their differences. It was as though the debacle of their engagement had never happened.

Jackie laid her hand on Steven's thigh, her head coming to a rest on his shoulder. The sun glinted off the windshield, briefly blinding him, and Steven took a deep, steadying breath.

Things were good, he decided, turning to press a kiss to Jackie's forehead. She smiled up at him, her fingers curling around his thigh.

He'd enjoy it while it lasted.

 **-x-**

 **Not sure if this will turn into a full-fledged story or not. It was just something that was on my mind that I wanted to get out there. I write under another penname on this site, but didn't want my readers of my other stories to worry that I was giving them up. Plus, I'm trying to get away from the stories that I wrote way back when that are, to be it gently, fucking terrible. If you'd like more, please review. If you don't want more, please review. If you hate this/love this/kind-of, sort-of like this, please review. I don't have a beta, so anything constructive would be amazing. Happy reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

**I don't own T7S! Just a rabid fan who still isn't over the fact that Season Eight happened.**

 **The Seeker**

"Dammit, Jackie, quit it, I look fine!" Steven said, slapping at Jackie's persistent fingers. Steven smoothed the front of his shirt, running his hands over the buttons. He tucked the hem into the waistband of his jeans, his eyes set on the grimy mirror propped against the far wall.

Jackie sucked her lower lip into her mouth, bouncing on the balls of her feet. She reached forward, sliding the strap of his belt through the buckle. Steven let her fuss over his belt, barely making a peep when she yanked the leather too snugly about his hips. Jackie's fingers hooked into his front pockets, her hips swaying from side to side. "Are you nervous?"

"No," Steven bit out under his breath, belying his response. He sighed heavily, stalking across his bedroom to his dresser. He grabbed his deodorant, unbuttoning the top two buttons on his shirt to swipe the stick over his pits. "I don't know. Maybe."

"Steven, it's ok to be nervous," Jackie said softly, bending her leg as she sat on the end of his bed. "It's like when you go out on a first date, when everything is out in the open and up in the air. You know, that nervousness of 'will they like me' or 'does my breath taste bad'."

"Yeah, but I'm not going to be going out on a date with my father, Jackie," Steven said, tossing the deodorant back onto the dresser top. He shrugged his shoulders, buttoning up his shirt. "Or making out with him."

"I wonder why Edna never said anything about him?" Jackie voiced, echoing the sentiment that Steven himself had been going over and over, ever since Mrs. Forman had told him that Bud wasn't his biological father. "Maybe he has a peg-leg. Or maybe she never actually knew who it was that got her pregnant! I mean, it was the times, Steven."

"Who knows why Edna does anything she does," Steven muttered. He switched on his radio, reaching over Jackie's head to do so. He turned, stalking across the room, and falling into the musty armchair stuffed into the corner of his room with an exhalation, his cheeks rounded. "What time is it?"

"Uhm," Jackie read the analog clock on his dresser. "Five twenty-two."

Steven picked at the thigh of his jeans, his leg bouncing in time to the music filtering from the stereo. He fell into a stupor, trying to picture what this mystery man looked like. He took Edna's face and picked out his and his mothers matching features. Then he took the rest and tried to make a composite of what his father could look like. The curly hair, that had to be his father's; Edna's was straight as a board. Cobalt eyes, those were definitely Edna's. Steven's fingers were thick and squared, probably Edna's too.

Jackie broke into his reverie, shoving herself into his lap. Her sweet perfume clouded the air, shunting away the Frankenstein amalgam he had built of his father in his minds eye. Her long fingers tangled in his hair, drawing his face up to look at her. "Hey, Puddin' Pop. What are you thinking? Talk to me…"

Swallowing thickly, Steven let his head fall back against the back of the armchair. "What if he's some snooty rich guy? You know, like that guy who already has the perfect blond family that all sing in harmony like the fucking Von Trapps, and I'm just that fuck-up from his teens that he just wants to pay off to get rid of."

"Well," Jackie started, leaning back against his chest. She wrapped her arms about his neck, curling her legs up in his lap. "I'm a snooty, rich person, and I love you. He can't not love you, Steven, you have so many good qualities."

"Yeah?" Steven scoffed. His hand dropped to her thigh, rubbing the soft fabric of her skirt in his fingertips. "Like what, Jackie?"

"Well, you're kind, and sweet, and smart, and funny. You can pick a lock in under a minute. Oh! You have potential to be a great businessman!" Jackie said, smiling encouragingly up at him.

"Businessman?" Steven asked, his brows drawing together.

"Well, you did a lot of _business_ in school, that has to count for something, Steven," Jackie said.

Steven smirked. "Yeah, didn't think about that."

"Don't worry," Jackie said, pressing a sweet kiss to his cheek. "He can't _not_ love you, Steven."

A comfortable silence fell over them. Jackie relaxed against him, resting her temple to his shoulder. Steven enfolded her in his embrace, letting his mind go blank. She was a solid weight against him, bolstering and real. Tangible. The affection she had for him was all that was keeping him from bolting out the door and never coming back. The Camino had a full tank of gas, and he'd contemplated in the early hours of the morning packing a bag, kidnapping Jackie from Donna's house and never looking back as he drove them into the sunrise.

Jackie's fingers rubbed soothing circles at the nape of his neck, lulling him. "It's all going to be fine, Puddin'."

"You know," Steven began, hooking her chin with his pointer finger. He brought her face up to his. "There's always something that helps me feel better…"

Steven pressed his mouth to hers, their eyes watching each other as they teased soft caresses to the other's lips. Jackie pulled away, coming back to straddle his hips. His hands dipped into her hair, holding her close to him as they explored each other's mouths. Kissing her relaxed him, strengthened him. It was soothing and familiar, the way they worked against the other. He knew just the way to kiss her; deep and passionate, drawing away to place feather light kisses to her neck. Just below her ear, right over her pulse point, was enough to make her weak at the knees.

"We're going to be all sweaty," Jackie said, pulling back. Her mouth was swollen and her eyes hooded with lust.

"So?" Steven asked, the palms of his hands sweeping up her thighs and under her skirt.

"Steven, it's almost six," Jackie said, her head turned to read the clock across the room. She turned back to him, her hands laced together at the back of his neck. "He'll be here soon."

Before Steven could draw her back in to kiss her again, the stomping of Mrs. Forman's feet on the wooden stairs reverberated down to them. Jackie sprang up off his lap, pushing her skirt back down her legs and smoothing her hair.

"Oh, Steven!" Kitty called, her heels clicking on the cement as she neared his room.

Steven adjusted his jeans, settling into the chair. Jackie pretended to be busy looking through his records; her back was to the door, hiding her thoroughly kissed mouth and desire.

"Steven?" Kitty asked, knocking twice on the door before letting herself in, not waiting for a response. She bounded through the door, clapping her hands. "What are you still doing down here? Come on! He'll be here soon!"

Kitty spun on her heel, hurrying from the room. Jackie glanced at him over her shoulder, massaging her lips together. She came to stand by his side, reaching out a hand for him to take. "Ready, baby?"

-x-

The Camino's tired squealed as he peeled out from the curb, blowing through the stop sign at the end of the road.

"Fuck him," Steven said vehemently under his breath. He jerked the wheel, mounting the curb as he cut into traffic onto Green Bay Road, tossing the middle finger out the window to the cars that blared their horns at him. He slapped his open palm against the steering wheel, white knuckling the leather cover. Taking a huge inhale he screamed at the windshield, releasing the rage that threatened to give him a heart attack. "Fuck!"

Steven down shifted, the Camino's transmission stuttering at the sudden change. He cut in front of a station wagon, the Camino leaving a cloud of black exhaust as he punched the gas pedal. Point Place Park was empty and Steven scattered pebbles, speeding down the path towards the far side of the reservoir. He parked the car at the edge of the water, the wheels sliding over the loose dirt as he slammed on the brakes.

"Fuck!" He screamed again, slamming the driver's door closed. He paced the waters edge, walking till he was panting from the exercise, as well as from his fury.

How could that sick son of a bitch think he wanted his money? How the fuck could William Barnett walk into the Forman's house and accuse them of hitting him up monetary retribution. And the look on Kitty and Red's faces.

He had fucking called it, hadn't he? He'd told Jackie. He'd told her the shit was going to hit the fan. And it had. Epically.

Steven kicked out, connecting with the trunk of a tree. Intense pain overtook his toes; the nails feeling like they had been shoved up his skin. He fell back, cursing loudly, his voice echoing in the still air. "God DAMMIT!"

Inside he had known this would turn to shit. All the crap Jackie had fed him, and Mrs. Forman had tried to reassure him of, it was all a fucking lie. This was why he was better off on his own.

A lone wolf, walking the paths of this Earth alone, answering to no man.

Steven shoved his hands into the pockets of his jacket, staring out over the reservoir. His pulse was thrumming in his ears, his jaws clenched. The waters rippled in the slight breeze. Cattails swayed on their stalks and Steven closed his eyes, taking several deep breaths as he tried to forget the events that had only just occurred in the last hour.

Things were ok in his life. He had a hot girlfriend. He had the money to buy weed and beer. He had a car and a full tank of gas. And he definitely did not need some rich snob coming into his life making him feel like more of a loser than he already did. He had finally completed his probation for going to jail for Jackie two years ago, and had the Forman's support in his future.

What more could an orphan like Steven ask for?

After Bud had left, after Edna had followed him, Steven had been left to his own devices. If it hadn't been for Eric, snooping in his business, he'd probably had made it out of this shit-hole. And be in big-boy jail. And Jackie would still be in the clutches of Kelso, or worse, some other pretty-boy jock that wouldn't appreciate what they had.

Sighing, Steven let his eyes drift closed. The breeze washed over his face, stinging his nose as he inhaled deeply. The unseasonable warmth of October held the promise of a harsh winter. Blizzards and stuffy rooms. Steven couldn't wait. He brought his lighter from his pocket, pondering if he had the energy to walk back to his car and get a joint from the glove box.

"Steven?" Jackie's voice called.

Whirling around, Steven stared in surprise as Jackie hurried towards him, her heels stirring up little clouds of dust. "Jackie?"

"Baby, God, I was so worried," Jackie said, throwing her arms around his neck.

Steven hugged her back. "What- How did you know I'd be here?"

"This is your thinking spot," Jackie responded, pulling back. She tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. "Remember, you told me?"

"No," Steven said honestly.

Jackie looped her arms about his waist, her head on his chest. "Well, I remember."

Steven propped his chin on her head. "Of course you do, Doll."

"Are you ok?" Jackie asked softly, kissing his heart over his shirt. She laid her cheek over his chest, her arms clutching his middle. "I can't believe he had the audacity to say that to you. As if you would want the money. I told him, Steven, I told that _I_ was the one who would want his money." She raised her chin, searching his face. "Are you ok, Puddin'?"

"I'm fine," Steven said, lying through his teeth.

Jackie swelled, ready to unleash a torrent of words on him, but Steven covered her mouth with his hand.

"Jackie, I know you want to talk about this, but I don't, ok?" Steven said. "Nod that you understand."

Jackie's eyes narrowed. Her breath washed over his palm, and her eyes rolled as she cocked her hip. She licked his palm, smirking when Steven pulled away. "We're going to talk about things. Steven, what happened in there was not right. You must feel something about it."

"I don't want to talk about it, Jackie," Steven reiterated. He stepped away from her, stopping at the waters edge.

"Fine," Jackie bit out, coming to stand at his side. She crossed her arms under her breasts, her tongue working over the front of her teeth. "Well, don't you want to at least go tell Barnett what you think of him?"

"Nope," Steven said, his lips popping about the 'P'.

Jackie took a deep breath, shaking her hair back over her shoulders. She sighed childishly, striking out at the dirt with the toe of her shoe. " _Fine_."

Steven stared out over the water, chewing on his lower lip. "How'd you get here?"

Jackie produced a set of keys, shaking them out for him to see the bright green Swiss army knife attached to the ring. "Eric left his keys on the counter. So I took them."

"I knew there was a reason I kept you around," Steven said, knocking his shoulder against hers.

"Cause you loooooove me," Jackie said in sing-song.

"Whatever." Steven smiling down at her beaming face.

Jackie stood on tiptoe, kissing him. She drew back, licking her lips. "I honestly thought you'd be high as a kite by now."

"Don't think I haven't been thinking about it," Steven said, grasping her hand. "Come on, Baby, we've got some hot boxin' to do."

-x-

"I wish I could stay with you tonight," Jackie said, angling her pelvis to meet his. They were standing at the hedge line between the Forman's and the Pinciotti's properties. Her arms were looped about his waist, and Steven gripped her hips.

"Well, no one's stopping you," Steven reminded her, loving the way she felt against him. He felt himself grow excited at the thought of her next to him. He rubbed his swelling member against her, enjoying the hiss of desire that accompanied his action. "We could smoke another joint… Have crazy, hot sex…"

Jackie laughed lightly. "As amazing as that sounds, Puddin', Bob and my mom have been really weird lately. Acting like parents. Anyway, Donna won't cover for me. She's been pissy ever since Eric tried to do that thing she doesn't like in bed again."

Steven leaned in to kiss her, his tongue dipping between her lips. He pushed her back against the hedge, his hands curling around to cup her butt. "Maybe I can sneak over. See if _you_ like that thing in bed."

"Steven, no," Jackie said, giggling. She hooked her leg clumsily on his hip. "What about Donna?"

"She can watch if she wants." Steven said, nipping her lip.

Jackie pulled away, slapping his chest. "Steven. That's disgusting."

"I was just saying!" Steven covered quickly. "She won't watch, ok? Can I sneak over?"

"What do you think?" Jackie asked, kissing him.

They made out fiercely, clinging to one another. The mixture of his arousal and the THC running through his veins closed out everything but Jackie. Her little moans, her touch, her smell. He lost himself in the taste of her strawberry gloss, his hands roaming every inch of her.

"Hey!"

Steven sprung away, preparing to run. It was instinct from all his days stealing from businesses and breaking into houses.

"If you're going to have weird, public sex, can you _not_ do it in my yard?" Donna called from the house. Her head was poking out of the back door, lit up by the overhead light.

"Go away, Donna!" Jackie yelled, smoothing her hair.

"I'll call the cops!" Donna threatened, disappearing back into the house.

"She will too, she's that pissed at Eric," Jackie said. She pulled a twig from her hair, sneering as she dropped it to the ground. "Ugh, Steven, I'm covered in nature!"

Steven pulled a leaf from the back of her shirt. "But you look hot."

"Duh," Jackie said. She trooped across the lawn towards the Pinciotti's. Stopping at the back door, she turned back to Steven standing by the hedge. "I'll see you later?"

"Yeah, Doll," Steven assured her. He smiled, loving the way Jackie gleamed back at him. "Later."

The Forman's kitchen was lit up when Steven entered through the sliding door. Mr. and Mrs. Forman fell silent, watching as Steven paused by the bar. He looked between the two, noting the way Mrs. Forman wrung her hands, her mouth pursed.

"Kitty," Red said in warning, gripping his beer.

"Shush!" Kitty said to her husband. She took a tentative step towards Steven. "Honey, are you ok? I am so sorry, Steven. I just feel terrible for how that went."

"Don't worry about it, Mrs. F.," Steven shook his head in dismissal. The marijuana had dulled his emotions and he cleared his throat, walking around the counter towards the living room. He had built a replica of the Berlin Wall around his heart, effectively closing out everyone but Jackie.

"Steven-" Kitty started to say, making to follow him.

"Kitty!" Red said over her. "Let the boy go."

"Red, he needs to talk about this, how terrible was that man-" Kitty spun on her heel, hands on her hips.

Steven escaped to the living room, plopping onto the couch with a groan. He propped his crossed ankles on the coffee table, preparing to snooze for a couple hours before sneaking over to Jackie. The sound of Kitty and Red's argument reached him through the door and his eyes opened blearily, half-listening to what they were saying.

"Kitty, leave him!" Red said. "If he wanted to talk about anything, he would talk about it!"

The sound of a pot clanging onto the stove followed Red's words. "Red Forman, he's worse than you. It took him three years to admit he had feelings for the Burkhart girl!"

"The who?" Red asked, confused.

"You know, Red, the Loud One." Kitty said dismissively. "Steven doesn't have parents, Red. We are his parents. Who's going to make sure he has everything he needs?"

"He's a grown man, Kitty, he can fend for himself," Red said. The legs of his chairs screeched on the linoleum. His voice got louder as he crossed the kitchen to the fridge. Steven could hear the condiments clanging around as Red opened the door, followed by the hiss of him pulling the top on a fresh beer.

"Red-"

The sound of the doorbell ringing distracted Steven from his eavesdropping. He pushed himself off the couch, stalking to the front door.

William Barnett was on the other side, his face contrite. His mouth quirked and he gestured to the house. "Can I come in?"

"I guess, yeah," Steven said, stepping aside.

"Look, Steven," Barnett began, working his tongue around his mouth. "I just came by to say, I'm sorry. I guess, well I know, I assumed the worst of you. If anything your girl had to say about you was even half-true, I made an intense error in judgment."

Steven nodded his head in acknowledgment. He propped himself against the still open door. The Wall around him was as solid as ever. "Alright, man, cool."

"I get it, if you never want to speak to your old man again," Barnett continued. He moved to exit the house again, pausing in the doorway. "But, if you change your mind, I can get you into some pretty expensive places. Hell, I'm rich, I can do whatever I want!"

"Right," Steven said. He cleared his throat. "Yeah, man, that sounds like fun. Like that jazz club down off the highway?"

"No, I meant like a country club," Barnett said, clapping a hand on Steven's shoulder.

The kitchen door swung open producing Red and Kitty; they paused, their faces wearing matching looks of concern.

"Everything ok here, Steven?" Red asked.

"Yeah, everything's cool," Steven said.

"You know, Red, you were right." Barnett nodded his head, motioning to Steven. "You did raise fine young men."

-x-

"Jackie!" Steven hissed rapping his knuckles on Donna's bedroom window. "Jackie!"

The tree branch he clung to swayed under his weight. Sweating, Steven adjusted his grip, preparing to knock against the window again when the curtains were suddenly pulled back, startling him.

Jackie smiled at him, pressing a finger to her mouth. She glanced over her shoulder at Donna's sleeping form and pushed the window open.

"Shh," Jackie whispered, stepping back to let Steven climb in.

Steven closed the window behind him, reaching for Jackie. Donna snorted in her sleep, catching their attention. Clutching the openings to her robe closed around her, Jackie licked her lips, causing Steven to nearly moan out loud at the sight.

"Come on," Jackie whispered, taking hold of Steven's hand. She pulled him out of the room, closing the door softly at their exit.

"Where to?" Steven asked, moving to push her against the wall. Jackie eluded his trap, taking a couple steps down the hall.

"Not here, Bob and my mom are just there," Jackie said, nodding towards Bob's closed bedroom door. "Follow me."

Jackie led him to the spare bedroom, pushing him into the room. Steven looked around, taking in the plethora of eccentric items. Taxidermy animals and oil paintings of naked gods and goddesses covered the horrendous plaid wallpapered walls. The shag carpeting was thick under their feet and Steven picked up a book from the table by the door. _Images You Should Not Masturbate To._ He dropped the book, rubbing his hand down the front of his shirt. "What is this place?"

"It's hell," Jackie said. "It's Bob's Man Cave."

An ancient television sat resolute in the corner, a set of rabbit ears adorning the top. Steven moved around the room, testing the cushions on the couch against the wall. Nodding his head in approval, Steven turned in a circle, meeting Jackie's eye.

"My dad came back," Steven announced. Swiping an ashtray shaped like a naked woman off the bookshelf to his right, Steven twirled it in his hands, if only for something to do.

"What?" Jackie said, crossing the room to him. "Well what did he have to say for himself?"

"Not much," Steven said. He tossed the ashtray onto the couch. "We'll probably hang out soon."

"Are you serious?" Jackie asked excitedly. She squealed with delight, clapping her hands together.

"Jackie, shh!" Steven admonished. "You'll wake up the whole damn house."

"Oh, my God, Steven!" Jackie said. She placed her hands on his chest. "I'm going to buy you a new shirt, something that doesn't look like it came from the Salvation Army. Where will you go? Probably somewhere fancy, I mean he is rich-"

Steven pressed his mouth to hers, swallowing her words. He grasped her cheeks, breaking their kiss to meet her eye. "Stop, Jackie."

"Party pooper," Jackie pouted. She prodded his chest. "I'm still buying you clothes."

"Whatever," Steven said, pulling a joint from his pocket. He waggled his eyebrows, falling to sit on the couch. "Come on, Baby, time to smoke up."

Jackie plopped onto the couch next to him. "I always knew there had to be someone with a decent background in your family, Steven, and I was right!"

Steven lit the joint, taking a deep inhale. "I'm still me, Jackie, still a scruffy orphan boy."

"Yeah," Jackie said, taking the joint from him. She held it like a cigarette, bringing it to her mouth. She paused before taking a hit. "But now you're a scruffy, _rich_ , orphan boy."

"Come here," Steven said, shaking his head. Jackie exhaled her smoke, surrounding them in a grey haze. She took another hit, sliding into his lap, with her knees on either side of his hips. Bending at the waist, Jackie pressed her open mouth to his. They shot-gunned her smoke, Jackie rocking her pelvis over his as the marijuana coated their senses, heightening the tingle of their bodies against each other.

Jackie's eyes were hooded, the whites turning red. She passed Steven the blunt, working at the buttons to his shirt.

Steven placed the joint between his lips, sucking on the end. Jackie pulled open the front of his shirt, her hands dropping to run over his skin. Her touch was like electricity over him, sending all his nerve endings haywire.

"You are incredibly over dressed," Steven said, setting the joint in the ashtray. He pulled at the robe, his mouth dropping open at what greeted him.

Jackie shrugged the robe off his body, her hands smoothing over the front of his black Led Zeppelin t-shirt. Her hands cupped her breasts, squeezing them as her hips rolled over him. "You like?"

"God, Jackie." Steven reached forward, sliding his hands up her bare thighs. She'd never worn it before, hell he'd assumed she'd burned it as soon as she had left with the shirt in her possession. He pushed his fingers up over her hips unimpeded by her lack of underwear. Pausing at her waist, Steven's eyes met hers, noting the salacious gleam in her eye. "Holy fuck."

Their mouths met in a searing kiss, jaws wide as they worked over each other. Her hands pulled his shirt from his body, flinging the offending object to the floor. She made to pull the Zeppelin t-shirt from her body, panting down at Steven as he stopped her. "No, leave it on."

Adrenaline coursed through his veins. Her skin was like silk and her nimble fingers made quick work of his belt. She stood from his lap, yanking his jeans and boxers down his legs in one swoop. Returning to his lap, Steven grabbed her face kissing her hard and fierce. Sweet, saccharine kisses. All his love, he put into his caresses, telling her without words his affection for her. Heat from her wet center hovered over his rigid shaft and Steven dropped a hand to cup her butt, rubbing up against her. He hugged her to him, relishing in the emotions she brought out of him, relaxed in the privacy of their passion.

"God, Steven, I want you so much," Jackie gasped, her hot breath washing over his mouth. His hand dipped between their bodies, finding her slick folds. Her head fell back on her shoulders, a whimper escaping her as Steven teased her center, dipping a finger into her opening.

His fingers rubbed at her clit, alternating pressure. "Fuck, Jackie."

Her mouth latched onto his neck, sucking and nipping at his skin as his fingers drew her closer to orgasm. She rolled her hips over his hand, panting hotly against him. Her lips felt softer than he had ever remembered them feeling. Seeking out her mouth, he drew another ardent kiss from her, dipping his tongue into her mouth. Jackie's walls began to quiver and she pulled back with a sharp squeak of pleasure. Steven stared at her wantonly as she convulsed over his fingers, her juices flowing from her and coating his hand.

Stiff with want, Steven slid down the cushions, spreading his knees wide. Jackie positioned herself over him, preparing to take him inside her body. She paused, her hand wrapped around his shaft.

"What, baby?" Steven asked breathlessly, his hands rising to cup her breasts under the Zeppelin shirt. His thumbs rolled over her nipples. Her hand began to stroke him, her thumb swirling over the mushroom head of his dick.

"I didn't bring a condom…" Jackie said.

Steven's eyes closed tightly, his hands falling back to her waist. "Fuck."

"You didn't bring one either?" Jackie asked, her thumb picking up a pearly drop of pre-cum.

"Fuck." Steven repeated.

Jackie licked her lips, rubbing the head of his dick between her slippery folds. She bent over him, running the tip of her tongue over his lower lip. "I'm on the pill…"

Steven's eyes opened. His dick throbbed in her palm. He licked his lips, tasting her saliva. Jackie's hair was tousled and wild, her eyes hooded with lust. He kept quiet, enjoying the feeling of her juices coating him. "We could just… wait." He managed to bite out, his voice pained.

"Or, we could just," Jackie teased his dick, barely sinking over him, "not use one this time." The tantalizing feeling of her bare, warm center was enough to make him nearly burst right there.

"Fuck," Steven said a third time, his voice strained.

Jackie sank over him, taking the whole of him into her at once. Her eyes opened wide at the feeling of full penetration, a breathy moan leaving her.

A grunt of pleasure escaped Steven's mouth and he stared up at Jackie in adoration. She rose up, off him before sinking over him again. Steven gripped her hips, guiding her to a steady rhythm over his shaft. Jackie's teeth nipped at his neck, each roll of her hips taking him higher and higher. He balled his fist in the hem of his shirt covering her body, yanking it up her torso to expose her pert breasts. Taking a nipple into his mouth, Steven rolled the taught peak over his tongue, lightly biting it between his teeth.

"God, Steven, I'm going to come," Jackie moaned, her rhythm becoming more erratic. She sounded like she was about to cry, her voice tight, "God, you feel so good, baby."

Jackie moaned, softly cursing to God as she came for the second time. Steven watched her hips as she worked herself over him, rubbing her center over his pelvis.

Flipping her over to lie back on the cushions, Steven angled his agile hips, pounding into her hard and rough as his release swelled in his chest. The Zeppelin shirt rose up her torso and Jackie locked her arms over her head, holding her body steady on the arm of the couch as Steven pounded into her without mercy. He spilled himself into her, his cock twitching as he had the most intense orgasm of his short life. Her name fell from his lips in exaltation.

"God, baby," Jackie panted, her hands coming down to wrap around his neck. Steven collapsed over her, covering her aching body with his. They kissed languidly, their tongues stroking each others. Steven broke the kiss, dropping his head to rest on her heaving chest. Jackie stroked his hair, her legs wrapped tight about his hips.

"Jackie," Steven whispered, his voice hoarse.

"What, baby?" Jackie's nails scratched lightly at his scalp.

"I love you," Steven said even more quietly.

Jackie's hands paused. Her legs tightened their hold on his hips. "Say it again, Puddin'."

Steven bit back a sigh. Her heart was pounding in her chest, echoing up into Steven's ear. "I love you, Jackie."

-x-

Dressed and exhausted, Steven pulled Jackie closer, his fingers smoothing her hair back from her face. Donna was snoring softly across the room, but Jackie and Steven were in their own world, cuddled together on her cot. Jackie's thumb caressed his cheek. She pushed her leg between his, curling it about Steven's calf.

"I'm so happy, Puddin'," Jackie whispered, briefly rubbing her thumb over his lips. "Are you?"

"Yeah, Jackie," Steven assured her, chastely kissing her. The combined body heat was comfortable under the comforter and Steven let his eyes drift closed. "Now. Shut up and go to sleep."

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	3. Chapter 3

**I'm baaaaackkkkkkkk. Cue TV static.**

 **The Seeker**

"So, Steven," Jackie started, wrapping her clasped fingers about her knees. Her eyebrows rose on her smooth forehead as she smirked at him. "Did you have a good time when you went out with your new dad?"

Steven shrugged, indifferent. "Yeah, it was alright."

Jackie's eyes rolled up to stare at the ceiling. She adjusted her grip on her crossed knees. "Well? Have you called him yet?"

Steven pursed his mouth. "No."

"Well," Jackie scoffed, "I know if I went out with a boy, and he didn't call me after three days," Jackie's hand flipped up to the ceiling, coming back to wrap around her knee. She sucked air through her teeth, smacking her lips, "I'd know he wasn't interested."

"Well, Jackie, my dad and I aren't dating," Steven said slowly, his tone hinting at mocking. His chest swelled, and he worked hard to hide the sneer from his voice. "We're a father and an illegitimate son."

The basement door burst open, drawing Jackie's attention. Michael spread his arms wide. "I have a baby, and it's a girl!"

"Congratulations!" Fez said jumping from the couch and drawing Kelso into a hug. The two clapped each other on the back, Fez drawing away, staring up adoringly at Michael's face.

Steven came to his feet, a genuine smile on his face. "Congrats, Kelso." They embraced, clapping each other on the back twice before breaking away.

Jackie pursed her mouth, stopping at Steven's shoulder. She crossed her arms over her chest. "Michael, I'm really trying to feel happy for you, but your hair. What happened?"

"Oh, well, I tried to blow a bubble as big as my head," Michael raised his arms in a What-Can-I-Do manner, "And, well, you can guess the rest."

-x-

"Betsy," Jackie said, rubbing her fingers up and down Steven's happy trail. Her fingertips lightly gripped at the coarse hairs; releasing and tugging, releasing and tugging. Jackie puffed a breath of air, the moist heat spreading across Steven's chest. "Ugh. That's such a terrible name. Almost as bad as Beulah."

Steven curled his arm around Jackie's shoulder, pressing his mouth to her hair. They were both naked, cuddled together on his cot. The Who spun lazily on his turntable, coating their post-coital union between the smoky haze of pot soaking the air.

Sighing, Steven gripped Jackie's waist. He licked his lips, enjoying the feel of his saliva coating his skin. His lips puckered and he quirked an eyebrow. "Betsy's not so bad."

Jackie scoffed, rubbing her feet against Steven's shin in a soothing, circular motion. Her tone was petulant when she spoke next. "Better than Beulah."

"Anything is better than Beulah," Steven said, grinning widely as Jackie slapped her open palm on his belly. The sting of her slap echoed in the dank basement room. "Hey! No need to abuse me!"

"Shut up!" Jackie admonished, though a smile covered her own lips. She rolled onto her back, her shoulder pressing into Steven's side. Silence moved over them as they listened to Roger Daltrey's voice serenade them. Steven felt Jackie's breathing change, her chest moving up and down with labor. Her voice was soft, but resolute: "Steven?"

"What, Doll?" Steven asked softly, his eyes drifting closed. Their naked flesh pressed together was a balm on Steven. Her head was draped over his arm, and he looked down the length of her body, at her pert breasts and the ascent of her Mound of Venus.

Jackie stayed quiet, one of her hands rising to poke at her own belly button, the other resolutely squashed between them. She sighed, shifting her weight. "Nothing, Steven, nevermind."

Steven rose, coming up to rest on his elbow. His cobalt eyes stared down at her tanned face. "Beulah."

"Don't," Jackie whispered, her dark eyes narrowing.

A goofy grin came over Steven, egged on by the THC flowing through his system. He tickled her side lightly, enjoying the giggle that tugged at her mouth. "Beuuuuulahhhh."

"Steven, don't," Jackie warned, laughing despite herself. "Please!"

"But, Beulah!" Steven continued, rolling over on top of her. The assault of his fingers on her skin persisted, the pressure varying as they traveled up and down her rib cage. Jackie's breasts bounced, her abs flexing, and Steven stared down at her, appreciating the physical aspects of her.

"Stop it! _Stop it!_ " Jackie spluttered between laughs, her hands tugging at his hands. "Steven! Please!"

It was her second 'please' that brought him to a stop. Steven released her, sitting up and away from her body. Jackie continued to giggle, her cheeks pink with her elation. Her hands rose to grip his sides, her thumbs sweeping over his skin. They stayed that way for some time, staring down and up at one another, secure.

Steven pressed his hands into the cot, one on either side of Jackie's head. He bent over her, capturing her mouth in a kiss. They parted to briefly make eye contact. Lightly, he pecked her mouth, once, twice, three times. He didn't think he could ever get over the way she felt. A year, a whole year, they had been dating. Nothing about it had bored him. Nothing about it had made him hate her. If anything, he had hated himself. For the nurse. For distrusting her. For pushing her away.

All Jackie had done was love him, and trust him.

All Steven had done was keep her at arms length. He didn't think that Jackie even understood, the depths to which he protected himself. She knew all there was to know, all the things that were easily accessible.

But no one really knew him.

Steven didn't really even know himself.

The biggest defense he had was ambiguity. Even against his own brain.

Jackie brought him back with her touch. She was smiling up at him, her eyes open and warm. She chewed on her lower lip. "I want to tell you something. I don't want you to freak out."

"Then don't say it, Jackie," Steven said, half-joking.

Her smile faltered, and she rubbed her lips together. Her dark eyes rose to meet his. Steven kept eye contact, giving her the best he could. The windows to his soul.

"I'll tell you later, then," Jackie said. She smacked his shoulder, hard, the sting echoing down his arm. "Though, I should just be able to tell you now."

"I'm gonna call the cops for abuse, Beulah," Steven said, swooping in to kiss her before Jackie could utter her rebuttal. He kissed her thoroughly, relishing in the feeling of her thighs as they wound themselves about his hips.

Jackie was already staring at him when he pulled away. Her lips were swollen, bright red with their kisses. She brought a hand up to his cheek. "I love you, Steven."

The words stuck in his throat. He smiled down at her, unabashedly. His throat worked, his tongue pushing saliva down his throat as he swallowed, once, and then twice.

Jackie stared up at him expectantly.

Steven opened his mouth, his eyes settling on the tip of her button nose. "I love you, too, Jackie."

-x-

Jackie hadn't spoken to him for twenty minutes.

Steven didn't remember the last time, or any time, that Jackie had been so quiet. He downshifted the Camino, making a California stop as they coasted down the frontage road from the highway. He spared her a glance from the corner of his eye, noting the way she heaved a great sigh, though she somehow managed that to be silent as well.

" _That was 'Shame on the Moon', by Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet Band,"_ the radio DJ said, his voice breaking into their silence. Steven turned on his blinker, turning away from Jackie to check the coast was clear. _"And now, here's another good one, from Judas Priest."_

The Camino rumbled as Steven accelerated down the farm road. They passed by farmland, black and white cows crowding the pastures. And all the while, Jackie remained quiet.

It was beginning to freak Steven out.

The fence began to change, the land become further spread out between houses. Barbed wire topped the chain link fence they passed, the black and white cows replaced with men in black and white jumpsuits. Jackie kept her face turned resolutely away. She crossed her arms under her breasts, chewing on her lower lip, licking the strawberry gloss from her skin.

Steven slowed, letting the Camino idle forward as they neared the guard's station at the entrance to the prison. A beat up Gremlin was in front of them, the back window full of dirty faces staring out at them.

Jackie's hand reached across the expanse of the Camino's bench seat, wrapping around Steven's knee. He let his hand fall from the steering wheel, grasping her clammy fingers.

"Name?" The guard asked, as Steven rolled down the drivers' side window. The guard kept his wide set, beady eyes on the clipboard in his fat hands.

"Burkhart," Steven said, briefly tightening the hold on Jackie's fingers. "Jackie."

The guard bent slightly at the waist, staring into the cabin of the car to look at Jackie. She still hadn't brought herself to take in her surroundings. Instead, she looked ahead, out the windshield. Her dark eyes were round and open, the pupils dilated as she stared somewhere inside herself, having taken herself out of the present situation.

Steven wondered if maybe he had made a mistake, in coercing her to come here.

The guard scribbled on his clipboard, grabbing at the walkie-talkie hooked on his belt. "I have two coming in, Burkhart, here for Inmate Number 138924."

"Oh, my God," Jackie whispered. Her fingers went limp. She withdrew from Steven, crossing her arms once more around her middle.

"Proceed," the guard said, motioning towards the Gremlin disappearing over a slight hill in front of the low-bricked building stretching to left and right. "Visitor parking is in front. You'll need to check in with the CO."

Steven shifted to first, releasing the clutch slowly.

He parked them several spaces down and away from the Gremlin. Kids were belching out of it's interior, each with tattered clothing and dirty faces. The oldest, a boy roughly the age Steven was when Bud was first incarcerated, herded his brothers and sisters into line, his eyes downcast as their mother swiped a tube of lipstick over her mouth, rubbing the pigment into her skin. Their clothes were well worn, and well washed, at least ten years out of style.

"I want to go home, Steven," Jackie whispered, staring at the mother and her children. She began to hyperventilate, pulling at the scarf wrapped about her neck. "I can't do this. I can't see him. I can't believe I agreed to this, I can't believe I listened to you!"

"Jackie!" Steven interrupted, grasping her shoulder. He shook her gently, smiling tenderly when her dark eyes met his. "It's alright. We're not going home, babe, I just drove three hours to get us here."

"Steven, I can't," Jackie whispered, her eyes brimming with tears.

"Yeah," Steven said adamantly, "you can. And you will."

Jackie stared at him, her eyebrows drawn together. Her lower lip trembled and her eyes blurred with her unshed tears.

"Buck up, kid," Steven said, smoothing the pad of his thumb over her chin.

"Steven," Jackie whispered. A tear escaped, coursing over her apple cheek. Steven caught it with his fingers, swiping away the offending moisture. "What if he's not the same? What if he's hardened, and cruel? What if he's not my dad anymore?"

"Jackie, look," Steven propped his knee onto the bench seat, turning his body to face her. "It's going to be hard, ok? It's not some walk in the park. He's gonna look different, and he's gonna talk different, and you're gonna hate him. But you can't run away. That's what he did."

Jackie looked to her lap, twisting her hands together. "I guess."

Steven felt his eyes roll in their sockets. He licked his lips, moving slightly closer to her. "What's your name?"

"What?" Jackie asked, surprised. The tears lining her lashes abated.

"What's your name?" Steven repeated.

"Jackie…" Jackie said sarcastically.

"Jackie…." Steven prompted, brows high on his forehead.

"Jackie Burkhart."

"Right," Steven said, draping his fingers around her thigh. "And what does Jackie Burkhart do?"

Jackie's eyes blinked rapidly. She mouthed, no sound issuing from her lips as she stared around her for the answer. "What?"

"What does Jackie Burkhart do?" Steven repeated. He jiggled her leg, and Jackie turned back to stare at him.

"Uhm," Jackie hummed. "I…"

Steven sighed. He pushed his shades up his forehead, rubbing at his eyes, letting the glasses drop back to rest on the bridge of his nose. Jackie was staring expectantly at him. "Jackie Burkhart kicks ass. Jackie Burkhart doesn't take shit from anyone. Jackie Burkhart is a badass."

Jackie's face morphed. The residual saline coating her irises receded. She let her face relax, the skin smoothing. Her perfectly manicured hand covered his on her thigh and she pushed her shoulders back, her chin dropping slightly.

"Jackie Burkhart is the coolest chick I know," Steven continued, clucking at her chin.

"What else, Steven?" Jackie asked with bated breath.

His heart was pounding in his chest. "She's smart. She's funny. She's hot as hell." He took deep breath. "She's brave."

"Oh, Steven," Jackie whispered as fresh tears welled in her eyes. She launched herself across the cab of the Camino, throwing her arms about his neck.

"Come on, Doll," Steven said, watching the mother and her children walk single-file towards the prison. "No time like the present."

-x-

"He looked ok," Jackie announced, as Steven got into the Camino. He slammed his door closed, sliding the key into the ignition. Steven pressed on the clutch, turning the key and shaking the shift into neutral.

"Yeah?" Steven asked, glancing at her. He swiped on the lever for the heater, blasting them with hot air.

"Yeah," Jackie cooed. "Yeah, he did."

"That's cool," Steven said, smirking at her. He reached across the plain of space between them, drawing her face to his. Their lips met, a sweet touch that was soft and tender. Her fingers landed on his cheek.

"Thank you, Steven," Jackie said.

"Anything," Steven replied. "Anything for you."

 **Please review, my loves. I'm sorry for staying away for so long, I promise to try harder.**


	4. Chapter 4

**The Seeker**

Steven's head pressed back into his pillow, suppressing the groan that rose to surge against his lips. The scent of sex hung heavily about them, riding the sweet tendrils of marijuana smoke that clouded his room. Jackie let her head fall back on her shoulders, her bare chest glistening with sweat as she worked her hips over Steven. Slick sweat coated them where their skin touched. Jackie's fingertips pressed into Steven's chest, the sharp pink nails pleasantly biting into his skin.

"Say it," Jackie moaned, her chin falling so their eyes met. "Steven, say it for me again."

"Accounts… receivable…" Steven grunted, his fingers tightening over her hips. He moaned, swallowing thickly, as thick fronds of pleasure wracked him. "Spreadsheets!"

Jackie whimpered, working her body deeper over his. "Again!"

"Flow charts!" Steven gasped, watching Jackie's lower lip disappear between her teeth. She whimpered, her movements becoming more erratic.

"Oh, my god! Steven!" Jackie cried. Her shoulders stiffened and her pelvis rocked deeply over him, taking all of him into her body. She began to convulse, her eyebrows drawn together on her smooth forehead.

Steven's hips began to move of their own accord, his hands holding her in place on top of him as he came, their orgasms perfectly in time.

"Wow, oh, my god," Jackie panted, falling across his chest. Her dark hair covered his face. Steven panted in time, Jackie's hair puffing away from his face with each exhale, and his arms lazily wrapping about her frame. Jackie turned her head, her hair tickling his chin as it fell from his face. "Steven?"

"What, Jackie?" Steven asked softly. He pressed a kiss to her sweaty forehead.

Jackie sat up, smiling down at him. "It's always going to be like this. Right?"

"Yeah, Doll," Steven agreed, his thumb stroking her chin. A lazy smile touched his mouth.

"Promise?" Jackie continued, folding her arms on his chest, resting her chin on her folded hands. She kissed the place over his heart. "Promise me that we'll always be this happy."

Steven sighed, his eyes falling closed. His heartbeat had slowed; his dick was soft inside of Jackie's wet center. He felt drained in every sense of the word. The floral scent of Jackie's shampoo filled his nostrils. The weight of his arms crisscrossed over Jackie's shoulders was like two anvils attached to his wrists. She was an anchor on his body, both welcome and oppressive. The radio hummed mellifluously around them. He tightened his hold on her, squeezing till Jackie hissed her disapproval, her fingers pinching his skin.

"We should get back to the party, Jackie," Steven said eventually.

Jackie sat up, her hair a puffy halo telling of their sex. She stretched her arms over her head. Steven's hands spread over her taught belly, his eyes scanning over her lithe form.

"What?" Jackie asked. She smoothed her hair, her dark eyes rimmed in red.

"It's just- Well, sometimes, I can't believe that you're mine," Steven said, giving her a sample of the adoration she craved.

A smile bloomed over her lips. She bent over him, kissing his mouth tenderly. Her hair curtained their faces, and Steven deepened the kiss, savoring the taste of her saccharine tongue sweeping over his.

Steven smacked her butt, pulling away. "Come on, Doll."

Jackie pouted, sliding off of his body. She began to gather her clothing spread out across his room, shaking out the wrinkles that had settled into the fabric.

They held hands as they exited his room, once more presentable. The empty basement echoed of the party upstairs. At the top of the stairs, Steven yanked Jackie back, smiling as she yelped in surprise, and pressing her against the closed door leading to the kitchen. He kissed her, almost aggressively, crushing her back against the wood. Everything, all his love, his passion for her, his intense need of her to always be by his side, he put into his kiss.

She clung to him, her leg hooking onto his hip. Steven nipped her lip lightly, staring at the tip of her button nose. "We'll always be this happy, Jackie. I promise."

"Good," Jackie said. Her fingers toyed with the curls at the nape of his neck. She gripped his hair, eliciting a hiss of pain from Steven. "We better be."

-x-

Jackie's ass swayed back and forth, her hips dipping, as they climbed the ladder of the water tower. She peered down at him beneath the crook of her elbow, smirking.

"Come on, Jackie!" Kelso called. He was waiting at the bottom of the tower, his hands gripping the rungs of the tower. "Either show us what's up your skirt or get a move on!"

"Quit trying to see what's up my girlfriend's skirt, Kelso!" Steven yelled back, itching to kick out with his boot. "Or I'll kick your ass!"

"You can't kick my ass from way up there!" Kelso said. "Nah, nah nah, nah nah, nah!"

"Shut up, Kelso," Donna said, pushing at Michael's shoulders.

"Ow, _Donna_!" Michael yelped. "Still bulked up from JV wrestling, I see."

Steven turned back to the ladder. Jackie had made it to the top of the tower. She paced the catwalk, staring down at Steven. He began to climb again, his eyes set solely on her. Jackie stepped away as Steven pulled himself up onto the catwalk. She grasped his hand, pulling him further down around the tower.

They settled onto the hard metal, letting their legs swing out over the edge and through the open air. Steven wrapped his arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer against the stiff, cold breeze that washed over them. Kelso was next, swinging his can of black paint onto the catwalk with a metallic clang. He jogged up the last rungs, showing off. Michael's eyes sought out Jackie, and then Donna, masking the dejection when he realized neither woman was looking at him.

Eric and Fez hooked paint cans into the creases of their arms, beginning their ascent up the ladder. Donna slapped her palms against her legs, wiping away the rust that had settled onto her skin from her climb. She stared up at the water tower, stepping aside when Fez tapped her ankle.

"What are we doing up here, again?" Donna asked. She took the proffered paint can from Eric, helping him climb the rest of the way up the ladder.

"Kelso has some painting to do," Steven said. His feet felt heavy, and he spread his toes in his boots, feeling the leather tighten.

"Man, I don't see the point in covering it up," Michael said, coming around the other side of the tower. He plopped down on the other side of Jackie, hooking his arms over railing encasing the tower. "We _were_ together at one point."

"Maybe because we're not together anymore?" Jackie supplied, shaking her head. She rolled her eyes, leaning into Steven's side.

"It's just, I mean, it's a landmark now," Michael whined. He angled his head back, staring up at the water tower. "It's a piece of history."

"Just paint over it, Kelso," Eric said, plopping a can of paint next to Michael. He held out a paintbrush, waving it in Michael's face. "Paint it and then we can go home. It's freezing."

"Yeah, and Mrs. Kitty has promised hot cocoa." Fez said, wrapping his jacket about his middle. He shivered, his knees knocking together. "Now get a move on, I'd like to still have use of my little men after this."

"Ugh, fine!" Michael said, clambering up from his seat. He yanked the paintbrush from Eric's hand, placing it between his teeth. Stepping up onto the surrounding railing, Michael motioned to Fez to hold up the paint can, dipping the bristles into the white paint.

Donna took Kelso's vacated seat, shivering in her thick wool coat. Her blonde hair shone yellow in the fading afternoon light. She flexed her left hand, almost reflexively, her thumb rubbing over her bare ring finger.

Jackie nudged Donna's shoulder, dislodging Steven's arm. He sighed, clasping his hands between his knees, turning his head away to offer the girls a semblance of privacy.

"So, have you heard any more from your mom?" Jackie asked, massaging her lips together.

"Yeah, she called once she hit Los Angeles." Donna sighed, white air crystalizing before her mouth. "Apparently, she wants me to come stay with her in Malibu, get away from Point Place for a bit."

Steven angled his head, staring up at Kelso's paint job. He shivered, breathing deep as the wind carried the scent of Jackie's perfume to him. "Come on, Kelso, you're not even trying!"

"Am too!" Kelso wailed. He had successfully covered the addition symbol between his and Jackie's names. Kelso shivered, shaking out his shoulders. "Man, I don't wanna do this."

"Quit your belly-aching!" Steven yelled.

"Get away from Point Place?" Jackie asked, her voice carrying. Donna's eyes pinged up to look at Eric. She pressed her pointer finger to her full lips. Jackie looked around, first at Eric and then to her friend. "What, you haven't said anything to Eric?"

"No, I haven't even decided." Donna sighed again. "I don't know Jackie, it's just, I feel trapped here. I mean, I stayed home from college. I planned this wedding. I got us a home to live in."

"A nasty trailer where the table doubled as a bed is not a home, Donna," Jackie admonished, kicking her legs out.

Donna rolled her eyes. "I just mean, it's been really hard. Everywhere I look is some reminder of this life that Eric and I almost had together."

Jackie pursed her mouth. She could feel Steven shift next to her, groaning as he came to stand, his long legs two pillars by her side. Jackie waited for Steven to wander off, closer to Fez and Eric, joining in on the critique of Kelso's handiwork.

"But I thought that you and Eric had decided that not getting married was the best thing?" Jackie asked, her voice hushed. "I thought you both were happy. Back to normal."

"I mean, we are," Donna said, "happy, that is. But something's missing." Donna shook her hair back from her shoulders. "You just don't get it Jackie. You've never been engaged, and planning a wedding. It changes everything."

"Yeah," Jackie agreed, her eyebrows drawing together over her forehead. "I always thought that it would be exciting, to plan a future, and pick a dress, and practice writing out my name. Mrs. Steven J. Hyde."

Donna laughed. "You really think you and Hyde are going to get married?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jackie asked, her tone shrill.

"Well, it's just," Donna's legs swung to and fro, "Hyde's never wanted to get married. He's told you that, what, how many times now?"

"God, Donna, you don't know anything," Jackie grumbled. "He doesn't know what he wants. That's why he has me, to change his mind."

"Yeah, good luck with that," Donna scoffed, looping her arms around the rail before them.

Steven pretended he hadn't overheard Donna or Jackie's conversation. He stuffed his hands into his coat pockets, his lips tight as they worked over the front of his teeth. A cigarette found its way to his mouth and he lit up, taking a deep breath. He kicked out at the water tower, the toe of his boot connecting with the thick iron side. Kelso jumped, nearly losing his balance, the bristles of his paintbrush swiping across Jackie's name. Steven turned, leaning his shoulder against the water tower. "Come on, Kelso, hurry up already."

-x-

Steven's fingers tightened over the steering wheel of the El Camino. He studied the Cruiser's brake lights, slowing behind Eric as they neared the intersection.

"Anyway, so then, Donna was like all 'I'm going to Malibu', like what is that about?" Jackie said. She shook her head from side to side, staring ahead out the windshield. "I just, I don't get it Steven."

"Yeah, me either," Steven agreed, flipping on the turn signal.

Jackie was blessedly silent for a beat. "Well. She can't go, obviously."

"Why's that?" Steven asked, turning onto Marie Street.

"Because, Steven, it'd be like she was the one running away this time," Jackie said, as though her answer were obvious. She picked at her cuticles. "Eric left her at the altar, and that was terrible, but her running away, that would be cowardly."

"I thought Eric had been the coward, seeing as to how he ran away, and all," Steven said, pulling up to the curb before the Forman's house.

"It's more complicated when you're the woman, Steven," Jackie said, gathering her purse. She reached out a hand, placing it on his forearm. "Look, just don't ever embarrass me like that, Steven."

"Huh?" Steven asked. He felt tense, ready to bolt.

Jackie's eyes rolled hard in her skull. "Don't ever leave me at the altar. Don't ever embarrass me that way."

"Jackie-" Steven bit his lip, swallowing his rebuttal. "Come on, let's go inside."

"Ugh, it's freezing!" Jackie complained. She skipped ahead of him up the drive way, skirting into the kitchen's warmth.

Steven paused on the driveway, his face drawn into a scowl. He scuffed his boots, the heels echoing off the concrete. Donna hurried past him from the Cruiser, followed closely by Kelso and Fez.

"You alright, man?" Eric asked, pausing at Steven's side. "I haven't seen you scowl like that since Ms. Pearlman found you and Kat Peterson making out behind the gym."

"Man, don't say crap like that when Jackie is around!" Steven hissed.

Eric's hands rose. "Uhm, pretty sure even the devil doesn't have super sonic hearing."

"She doesn't have to hear you outright, she'll just sense it, hanging in the air," Steven said, turning away from the kitchen door and leaning against the Cruiser's bumper.

Eric followed, his hands deep in his pockets. "So, you gonna tell me what's up, or am I gonna have to force it out of you?"

Steven's throat felt constricted. Breath came in short, panted bursts. He crossed his ankles and cleared his throat. "How did you know, before all the other bullshit that happened, that Donna was the one?"

"Oh, man," Eric straightened, his spin stiff. "'The One'? Well, it's complicated."

"Can't you think of the Cliffnotes version, Forman?" Steven asked derisively.

"She was the only one who made me feel happy," Eric said finally, after a few moments reticence. He pressed the toe of his shoe into a grease spot. "She didn't make fun of me when I told her things, the personal things, y'know. She was my best friend. She is my best friend."

Steven's eyes sank to the ground.

"Isn't Jackie your best friend?" Eric asked softly. His green eyes peered at Steven. "You two are always off, sharing adventures and talking together like no one else is in the room. I've never seen you this way, man. It's weird and unnatural."

"I don't know, man, I guess-" Steven swallowed the rest of his sentence.

Eric pushed off of the Cruiser's tailgate. "If you gotta keep finding reasons to not be with someone, than it's you that's got the problems. All I know, Hyde, is that you're a different person. And that's not a bad thing."

The kitchen door slid closed forcibly at Eric's departure. Jackie was there, at the bar, watching Steven worriedly from beside the stools. She crossed her arms, pivoting on her heel to disappear back into the lit kitchen, taking his solace with her.

Steven's breath was white crystals before his face. He crossed his arms, sucking his lips into his mouth.

God, he was fucked.

 **Tell me you love me, tell me you hate me, tell me you want more.**


	5. Chapter 5

**The Seeker**

Steven snapped the lid of Jackie's pink suitcase closed, staring around Donna's seemingly bare room with a sigh. Without his chick's things littering the androgynous room, it seemed suddenly lackluster. Jackie's bright pink luggage crowded the floor, the army cot folded neatly against the wall.

"Man, Donna, your room looks so empty without all of Jackie's stuffed animals all over the place," Eric observed from his spot on Donna's bed. He leaned back against the wall, his arm curled behind his head. With a dramatic sigh, he kicked out with his foot, pointing to the rocking horse by the door. "Awe, man, Donna, we never got to do it on the horse."

Jackie whirled on her heel, Fluffycakes pressed to her chest. "Eric Forman, if you befouled my possessions, I will personally cut you."

"Hush, Jackie," Donna said, coming out of the en suite. She passed an armful of hair products into Jackie's hands, Fluffycakes falling to the floor. "We didn't do anything with your stuff."

Steven snickered. He swiped the stuffed unicorn off the floor, staring into it's glittery, neon fur. "Yeah… They aren't as creative as we are, babe."

Eric and Donna stiffened. Donna pointed an accusing finger. "What did you two do?"

"Oh, nothing," Jackie said flippantly. She stuffed her hair products into an already stuffed suitcase. Propping her hands onto her hips, she cocked her head, looking at the cases scattered about her. "I hope Martina got everything cleaned. Ugh, can you imagine if it's still dusty? And that smell! _Ugh!_ "

"You mean to tell me, Martina has been living in the house all this time?" Eric asked.

"Well, duh!" Jackie said, rolling her eyes at Eric. "Why else would we pay her? To sit around and look pretty?"

"No one's lived in the house for a year," Eric continued, scooting to the end of the bed.

Jackie picked up her train case. "And?"

"And-" Eric started.

"Drop it, Forman," Steven said, grabbing a suitcase. "Help me with this."

They loaded up the bed of the El Camino. Red brought over a length of rope, criticizing them on how to properly tie down the luggage.

"You can't tie a knot that way!" Red said, stepping up to Eric. "Didn't you learn anything from Cub Scouts?"

"Why, yes, yes I did," Eric said. He continued to tie his knot, yanking roughly on the rope.

"Could have fooled me!" Red said. He waved his hands, stalking back over to his own house. "Dumbasses. See if I care if the Loud One's pretty ponies scatter all over the damn highway."

"Yoo hoo!"

Pam waved her hand from the driver's side of the Lincoln, pulling to the curb with a screech of rubber. The Lincoln squealed, the transmission whining as Pam threw it into park before the tires had come to a complete stop.

"Oh, god," Jackie moaned, her stance becoming defensive.

Steven crossed his arms. He watched as Pam took short, quick strides up the Pinciotti's drive way to the Camino, her full breasts bouncing under a dress not appropriate for the cold weather. Pam shook her thick tresses over her shoulder, her hands pulling at the lapels of her coat, opening it just slightly to show how her nipples poked through the fabric of her dress.

"Hi, dear," Pam said, bending just slightly to pass a whisper of a kiss to Jackie's cheek. "Have you got everything?"

"Just about-" Jackie started.

"Oh, good!" Pam interrupted. "Martina has been driving me _insane_. She keeps pretending she has no idea what I'm saying, even though I'm speaking in short sentences! If only foreigners were good for something else other than cooking and cleaning."

Jackie's eyes narrowed and she chewed the inside of her cheek. "Uh huh."

"I just had to leave," Pam continued. "So, when will you be home? I want to make sure you're there to talk to Martina."

"Ugh," Steven said, stepping up to the pair. His hand dropped to cup the small of Jackie's back. He felt the tension in her, and his thumb slipped beneath the hem of her coat. "Mrs. Burkhart, we'll be there in about an hour."

Pam smiled demurely at Steven, her shoulders falling back. "Thanks, Steven." She winked at him, her frosted pink lips stretching over her white teeth. "I'll have to think of a good way to repay you."

"Mom!" Jackie hissed. She pulled Steven away, around the other side of the El Camino to Donna's side. Pam waved as she traipsed down the concrete, falling into the Lincoln with a sharp giggle.

"Jackie, is your mom ok?" Donna asked. "She seemed…"

"Drunk." Eric finished.

"She is _not_ drunk," Jackie defended. "She's her own woman, she can do whatever she wants!"

The Lincoln's tires squealed as Pam tore off down the street. The four-some watched with bated breath as Pam disappeared, taking the corner onto Freesia Ave. so sharp, she cut the corner, narrowly missing the stop sign.

"Jackie," Donna started to say, her blue eyes narrowed. She licked her lips. "Maybe you should just stay here."

"No," Jackie fired back. "I don't need your pity, Donna."

"I'm not pitying you, Jackie!" Donna retorted.

"Whatever." Jackie said. She stalked around the Camino, pulling open the passenger door. "Come on, Steven, let's go."

Eric waggled his eyebrows. "Good luck, man."

Steven slid into the Camino, the engine rumbling as he started it. The heater kicked on, blasting them with cold air as the car warmed up, idling hard. Donna and Eric each raised a hand, disappearing through the side door into the Pinciotti household.

"What's wrong, Jackie?" Steven asked, staring up at the yellow clapboard house. He shivered, cranking up the heat, but cold air was all that blew from the vents. "I thought you wanted to move back in with your mom?"

"God I wish this stupid car didn't take so long to warm up!" Jackie carped.

Steven turned to her. "Hey. Answer me."

Jackie turned her heated gaze onto Steven, roasting him with her glare. "What."

"What's your deal?" Steven asked. Warm air finally started to pour from the vents, bathing them. Steven's nose twitched, his cheeks practically on fire as the cold seeped from his skin.

"My deal?" Jackie parroted.

"Don't pretend like you didn't hear me." Steven shook out the gearshift, his left foot pressed to the floorboard over the clutch. "You seemed so excited to move back home."

Jackie bit her lip, turning her face away from Steven. "It's nothing, Steven."

"Jackie, it's obviously not nothing-"

"Stop!" Jackie screeched, interrupting him.

The El Camino jerked to a stop at the end of the street. The muffler purred in the silence that filled the cabin. Jackie shifted, pulling her coat around her.

"Look. Nothing is wrong, Steven," Jackie said. Her tone belied her words, but Steven remained quiet, looking at his girlfriend with concern. "Just take me home."

-x-

Martina dropped the last of Jackie's luggage to the floor, spinning on her toe to exit the room before another order could be issued. The door slammed behind the maid and Jackie spun around, taking in her childhood bedroom with a critical eye.

"Well, I'll be," Jackie said, striding over to her hi-fi. "She actually did clean."

"Put something decent on," Steven said, plopping onto Jackie's bed.

Jackie made a face, tuning the radio to WFPP. Suitcases crowded the rug and Steven tapped the edge of one over and over with his boot.

" _This has been a Led Zeppelin rock-block on WFPP,_ The Sound. _It's going to be a chilly night, folks, so grab someone hot and keep those windows steamy. Here's more Zeppelin to keep those speakers blazin'."_

"Where do you want to start?" Steven asked, eyeing the plethora of suitcases with a sneer.

Jackie sank to her knees on the shag carpet. Her hands slapped her thighs and she puffed her cheeks. "Uhm, I don't know. Can't we just get Martina to do it? This is the kind of thing we pay her to do."

"Come on, Jackie," Steven said. He stood from the bed, kicking out of his boots. "Look, the last thing I want to do is unpack all your stuffed animals, but it won't kill you to do some work."

Jackie scowled. "It might," She muttered under her breath.

They started in silence. Jackie opened the case closest to her, pursing her mouth at the clothes that had been thrown pell-mell into its depths. Steven grabbed the largest case, swinging it up onto the bed. He took the silk hangers Jackie handed him, hanging her dresses and sweaters with care and precision, tuning out everything but the music, the same as he did when he was at work. He worked as if on an assembly line; pick up dress, shake out wrinkles, slip it onto the hanger, and hang it on the rod in her closet.

Night had fallen when they finished, nestling each suitcase together like a set of Russian nesting dolls and sliding them into the back of Jackie's closet. Her room looked like her room again, if only slightly uninhabited. The air was stale, and the comforter held nothing of Jackie's scent. Martina had done her job, keeping the sheets washed, the shelves dusted, but there was nothing she could do about the air. While clean, it held the sadness of an empty house.

Jackie opened her train case, peering at her overabundance of cosmetics. She slapped the lid closed, setting the case atop her vanity.

Steven perched at the edge of the bed, leaning forward over his knees. Usually he enjoyed silence. Relished in it. Hell, he had even been able to enjoy all of House of the Holy without any snide comments, a first in his relationship. But this silence from Jackie was uncanny and unnatural.

For the past hour she had been divinely quiet. Well, as quiet as Jackie Burkhart could inherently be. She still muttered under her breath, conversing with whatever conversation was occurring in her mind, mouthing along to the rock songs that poured from her hi-fi. But she had had nothing to say about Steven handling her stuffed animals too roughly. She hadn't complained when Steven threw her shoes into the closet where they banged against the wall with plods that had to leave dents in the sheet rock. She hadn't even bat an eyelash when Steven had let her ABBA records fall out of their cardboard sleeves, banging against her dresser to land on the floor in a pile that had to be terrible for the vinyl.

"Well," Steven said, standing. "I guess I'm gonna go."

"Whatever," Jackie muttered, not looking up to meet his eye.

"I'll just go home, and leave you here," Steven continued, locking his knees and clasping his hands around his belt buckle. "All alone."

"That's cool." Jackie said, standing from her vanity. She pivoted on her toe, disappearing into the pink en suite, her nose high in the air.

Steven grabbed his boots, sinking onto her vanity stool. He started to put on a boot, pausing as the anger from his confusion washed over him.

"Dammit!" Steven muttered, tossing his boot aside.

Jackie was at the counter, running her fingertips over her shaped eyebrows. She glanced at him, sighing as her eyes sank to the counter, pulling loose hairs from her brush.

"What the hell, Jackie?" Steven started, leaning against the counter.

She set the brush roughly to the counter, the acrylic backing pinging off the pink tile. "Excuse me?"

"You've been acting shady all damn night. What the hell's your problem?" Steven threw at her.

"My problem?" Jackie screeched. "I don't have a problem, Steven!"

"Oh, right, yeah, cause you're normally a mute." Steven rebutted.

Jackie rolled her eyes, yanking back the shower curtain. She started the faucet, sitting on the lip of the tub. Her silence felt like a jab at his heart.

"What?" Steven pestered, unable to let it go. "You gonna ignore me now?"

"Whatever." Jackie leaned forward, testing the water with her fingertips.

Steven scoffed. He swiped at her hairbrush, sending it flying off the counter. It skid across the tile, stopping by the toilet. "I'm out of here, man."

He expected her to follow him. He kept a hold of that hope as he stuffed his boots onto his feet, fixing the hem of his jeans about his ankles. He believed it still as he left her room, closing her door with a snap he knew she heard in the bathroom over the running faucet. Even as he ran down the stairs, shooting past Pam, drunk in the living room, he believed Jackie was going to come chasing after him.

It wasn't until he was in the El Camino, the engine running, staring up at the white lace curtaining Jackie's windows that he knew she wasn't coming after him.

At an idle, the Camino had a purr that could soothe even Steven's most angry of hearts. All it did tonight was to aggravate his nerves, the vibration rattling his bones. Even Robert Plant's dulcet voice couldn't calm him. The longer he sat, the longer he stewed, the angrier he became.

Steven's boots crunched over the gravel. He let himself back into the house, ignoring Martina's incredulous glare.

"Jackie!" Steven called, slamming her bedroom door closed. He pressed the lock on the knob, pushing off the door and propelling himself across the room.

"Go away, Steven!" Jackie yelled, her voice thick with tears.

Jackie yanked the curtain closed around her bubble bath, enclosing her in the tub. Steven could hear her sniffle, the water splashing as she moved about.

"No." Steven said, yanking the curtain back.

She gasped, her red-rimmed eyes narrowed. Bubbles covered her chest, just below her chin. Jackie grappled at the curtain, wrestling against Steven's grip. "Let go!"

"No!" Steven said stubbornly. He tore the curtain back, bringing a few of the rings flying across the room. "Quit fighting me, Jackie, I'm not leavin'!"

Jackie cupped a handful of soapy water, flinging it at Steven. She began to cry in earnest, great, fat tears rolling down her cheeks, dragging streaks of black mascara in their wakes. "I don't want you here! Go. Away."

Steven kicked off his boots, pinging them off the white cabinets. He tore his jacket from his shoulders, flinging the offending object onto the fluffy, pink carpet.

"What the fuck is up with you?" Steven yelled, his face hot.

Jackie stared, startled at his intensity.

"One minute you're fine, and the next, you're shoving me away!" Steven continued, pacing in front of the tub. He stopped, pointing his finger at Jackie prone in the water. "I've had it Jackie! I deserve to know what the hell is going on. You throw it in my face, say-" his voice rose four octaves, his hands fanned by his face " _'Steven_ , you're so out of touch!' ' _Steven_ , all you do is push me away!' ' _Steven_ , you never tell me how you feel!' Well, Jackie, if this is how you feel, than I feel real sorry for you! This is insane!"

A high, keening lament left the lips of the one he called his girlfriend. She sank into the tub, engulfed by Calgon. Her tanned knees broke through the bubbles, bright pink from the blistering water.

"Holy hell," Steven mumbled, unsure for a moment what to do. He sprang forward, his hands sinking into the scorching suds.

Steven pulled Jackie up, the latter sputtering, and wiping soap from her eyes. Steven grabbed a washcloth from the soap dish, swiping the terry cloth around her eyes. Jackie's shoulders shook, pearls of tears cascading from her eyes. She began to hiccup in earnest, gasping for breath.

"Damn, Jackie, calm the hell down," Steven said impatiently. He sank to his knees beside the tub, staring at Jackie as she shoved her hair back from her face. "Just- Man, just talk to me."

"I don't know!" Jackie cried. She slapped her hands down, flinging water over the lip of the tub. "I'm just not happy!"

"Well, you keep hurling water on me, and I'm not gonna be happy either," Steven said derisively.

Jackie stared, her brown eyes round. "See? This is it. This is why I'm not happy. You don't even care!"

"Don't care? I came back didn't I?" Steven asked, moving his knee out of a puddle of water soaking the bath rug.

"And you've been a jerk the whole time!" Jackie said. She cupped her hand, as if to fling more water at him, and then paused, thinking better of it.

Steven chewed the inside of his cheek. He stood, turning to sit on the lid of her toilet. Her hairbrush taunted him from its spot on the floor. Bending at the waist, Steven picked it up, setting it gently on the counter. He rubbed his hands together, thinking.

The water sloshing about in the tub brought him back. Jackie had pushed her slick hair back, the long, black tendrils snakes across her shoulders. She shaped the bubbles with her hands, pushing them down over the water.

"Look, Jackie," Steven started, clearing his throat. "I'm sorry. You're right. Something's up with you, and yeah, I could be more caring."

Jackie glanced up at him from her bubble bath. She swallowed thickly, massaging her lips together. "Ok."

Steven bit back his angry retort. He rubbed at the corners of his mouth. With a sigh, he took his sunglasses off, and stood, sitting to sink on the lip of the tub. "What's really going on, Jackie?"

"It's just-" Jackie rolled her eyes, the water rising as she leaned back against her little seashell shaped bath pillow. "I'm scared, Steven."

"I won't leave you here alone, Jackie, I'll stay if you want me to," Steven said.

"That's not all of it, though, Steven," Jackie said, her tone impatient. "Please, just listen to me. Don't speak."

Steven's eyebrows rose in understanding. He shifted on the edge of the tub, the hard porcelain digging into his ass.

"I'm scared because everything around me feels like it's falling apart," Jackie said. Steven tried to mask his confusion, fixing his features into a guise of Zen. "My dad's in prison. My mother just comes swooping back in like nothing has ever happened. They're not divorced, but she said that she would wait and be faithful, and believe me, while I understand that beautiful women need attention, she's getting it in all the wrong places. And then Donna and Eric."

"What about Donna and Eric?" Steven asked.

Jackie finally met his eye. "They were the ones we all thought would make it, Steven. They were the ones who had this 'perfect relationship' that they rubbed in everyone's faces. If they couldn't make marriage work, who's to say that, for example, we will?"

Steven's teeth bit down hard on his cheeks, the metallic taste of blood lapping over his tongue.

"I know, Steven, I know you don't want to talk about marriage," Jackie reached out, grasping one of his hands in both her soapy ones. "I just need to know that we're going to make it. I need to know that I'm not wasting time here. Because my father is wasting away in prison. Eric and Donna are wasting time, pretending that they're fine as friends. My mother is wasting her beauty, dating men like the likes of _Bob_. I don't want to waste my time. I'm afraid, that one day we'll be just like Donna and Eric."

"Jackie, we are not going to end up like Donna and Eric," Steven said forcibly.

"Well, how do you know?" Jackie asked, releasing his hands.

"Because, I just know, Jackie!" Steven said, laughing cynically. "Look, we're not your parents, and we're not Forman and Donna. We're you and me. I don't feel like I'm wasting my time on you."

"So, do you want to marry me?" Jackie asked, her dark eyes boring into him.

"Someday," Steven replied immediately. "But not right now. And not feeling like you're threatening me with it."

"I'm not threatening you, Steven, I'm trying to push you in the right direction," Jackie said.

"Jackie. For fucks sake. Ok, look, you're still in high school." Steven turned his body, facing Jackie. "What is it with you and getting married right this second? How do you know you'll even still want this in ten years?"

"I just want to know you're serious in this!" Jackie said.

"Serious in this?" Steven asked, his shoulders sinking.

"Marriage is a serious thing. If we can do that, if we can make it further than our friends, wouldn't that prove that we're truly serious?"

"Marriage is the only way to prove that we're serious? Serious to who, our friends?"

"Steven, I know you're getting mad, but try to understand what I'm saying," Jackie said.

Steven stood from the tub. "Then explain it better, Jackie, cause all you're making it sound like is that the fact that I love you isn't enough."

"Just promise me that someday, in the future, whenever that may be, that we'll get married," Jackie said, grasping the edge of the tub with both hands.

"Whatever, Jackie," Steven said, leaning back against the counter. "Fine. Alright, fine."

Jackie pursed her lips. "Don't make it sound like I'm forcing you, Steven."

"You are, Jackie." Steven said. "Look, can't we talk about this later? Every damn day you want to talk about this crap, and the record is worn. Give it a rest."

"Fine. Later." Jackie leaned back. She raised one of her legs, setting her heel on the side of the tub. Suds slid down her toned leg, and Steven watched each fragrant bubble slink back into the bath. Jackie smirked. "Care to join me?"

"God, I love you," Steven whispered, his hands falling to his belt buckle.

The water was boiling as Steven slid into the bath behind Jackie, settling her between his thighs. She leaned back against him, her breasts just barely covered by the bubbles. They bathed together slowly, touching and kissing, bringing both of their frustrations down till they were practically nonexistent. For the moment, it was as though marriage had never been brought up. It was like the very beginning, when they had made out without consequences, exploring each other, learning what the other liked. There, in Jackie's pink bathroom, Steven Hyde let himself fully relax. He brought forward the side of him that only Jackie knew. The true one, who let his girlfriend smother cucumber face masks over his cheeks and whispered sweet devotions that brightened her brown eyes to golden amber.

He couldn't understand, why she was so desperate for marriage. After Forman and Donna's failed attempt, he had held on to the hope that maybe now she would give it a rest. But if anything, it had only added fuel to her wedding fever.

Steven pulled at Jackie's shoulders, bringing her to rest back against his chest. He wrapped his arms about her, kissing her slick skin. The rest of his life felt like an impending doom. He could only hope that they would weather the storm together.

 **It's beginning to heat up in here, folks.**


	6. Chapter 6

**The Seeker**

The Holiday Hotel was bustling, and Steven cursed as Kelso dropped a collection of grimy plates and forks into the already brimming sink. Kelso spun his newly emptied tray on the tip of his middle finger, sucking air through his teeth. Steven was already  
beginning to regret coming back to help Roy out for the event. He didn't need this crap; he had a much better gig working for W.B. Having dragged Kelso along was the icing on top of the fucking cake.

"Man," Kelso started. He cursed under his breath as he dropped the tray to the floor. He swiped it up, slapping it against the side of his thigh. "I don't know how much more I can take. These doctors are so uppity."

"Gee, Kelso, no," Steven quipped sarcastically, stalking past him to toss a metal spoon into the sink. It clamored against the dishes, adding to the din from the throng of doctors milling just feet from the kitchen door.

"They keep asking me questions, like, 'What's you first memory?' and, and 'How many times were you dropped as a child?'" Kelso scoffed, scratching as his temple. He picked up a pig-in-a-blanket, popping it into his mouth. He began to gasp, waving his  
hand before his face. "Ouch! Ouch! Hot-hot-hot!"

"Can't you do something useful?" Steven said. He pointed to the sink as Eric came bursting through the swinging door. "Do the dishes!"

"I need more hors d'oeuvres!" Eric slapped his tray down. "Stat!"

"Cut it with the doctor jokes, Forman," Steven muttered under his breath. He began to load the tray with finger foods, arranging them in a circular arc.

"I'm loosing them, Hyde!" Eric continued, rubbing his hands together as if electrifying a defibrillator. He pressed his palms to the cold metal table. "Clear! We need more delectable finger foods, or there will be anarchy. Anarchy!" He rubbed his palms  
together again, pressing them to the table. "We're losing them, Steve!"

"Dammit," Steven mumbled, motioning to Eric to take the tray. He began to load a second tray for Kelso, feeling harried as the doctor's voices next door grew in pitch.

"Come on, Kelso," Eric said, shouldering his tray. "We've got lives to save."

"Someone's dying? No way!" Kelso asked, grabbing his tray just as Steven placed the last of the appetizers on its surface. He jogged after Forman, jostling the food on his tray, ignoring the handful of spinach puffs that slid over the lip of the platter.

The kitchen door continued to swing on its hinges long after Forman and Kelso had disappeared back to the party. Steven started on the dishes, pulling a large plastic dish tray towards him. He sprayed the plates clean, slinging them into the tray without  
caution. They clinked together, drawing Roy's attention as he exited the storeroom.

"Hyde, man, you ok?" Roy asked, setting a large can of relish on the prep table. Roy's thick blond eyebrows drew together over his eyes.

Steven pushed the dish tray into the industrial dishwasher, pulling the lid closed. The machine started immediately, water whooshing about its insides. "Yeah, man, I'm cool."

Roy picked at a tray of pigs-in-a-blanket's, the raw dough molding between his fingers. "You and Jackie get into another fight?"

Steven paused, clenching his jaw. Another fight? As if that was all he and Jackie did these days. Maybe, that was all they did these days. Fight. Argue. Bicker. Whichever adjective, they all fit the bill. He felt the jab at his heart; all anyone thought  
of him and his chick was that they didn't get along, disagreeing over stupid, petty bull shit. To think, he and Jackie used to have a fucking blast, man.

"Nah, man, we're cool," Steven said, lying. He turned back from the sink and dishwasher. Grabbing the tray of pigs-in-a-blanket, he opened the oven, the heat basking over his face, and shoved them into the furnace.

Roy laughed, his eyebrows rising on his forehead. He began to chop celery, a dorky smile on his lips.

"What?" Steven asked, coming to stand on the other side of the table from him.

"It's nothing, really, I guess." Roy shrugged. He swiped the flat of his blade against the cutting board, sweeping the perfectly chopped celery to the edge of the bamboo plank. He grasped another stalk of celery. "Well…"

"What?" Steven repeated.

"You two are like black and white. Oil and water." Roy said simply.

Steven didn't say anything. He bit his lip, hard, tasting blood. Raucous peals of laughter filled the kitchen.

"That being said," Roy continued after a brief pause. "It's like a real opposites attract thing, y'know?"

"No," Steven bit out.

"She's all thin, and beautiful, and sexy," Roy paused, pressing the tip of the blade of his knife into the cutting board.

Steven looked up. "That's my chick, Roy, watch yourself."

"Hang on, now, you're a very beautiful man, too, Hyde," Roy said, placating.

"What?" Steven asked, slightly shocked.

"You're not as beautiful as Kelso, true," Roy pointed the blade at Steven. "But you've got a certain something about you. Rugged, and deeply destroyed emotionally. A lot of women can take that and run with it. Some women, they like to fix men."

Steven began to chop vegetables, his lips pursed.

There was something good that came out of Bud's leaving. It had prompted Edna to enroll Steven in the Big Brother Program, giving him Roy. Edna's true purpose was finding a way to keep Steven occupied, keep him away from the house as she brought men home,  
not to give her son an interim father figure, that is, till Red Forman had taken him in. Roy was lonely, and had grown up with a distant mother who never told him she loved him, but he was kind to Steven in a time when there were very few people who  
were. Steven and Roy went to the movies, and to miniature golf. Roy taught Steven how to properly tie a lure to a fishing pole, and how to, in turn, skin the fish that would be caught at the end.

All Steven had to do was listen, listen when Roy cried over a girl breaking his heart. Steven had listened to all of Roy's bitter stories, giving the proper Hmm's and Ahh's at the proper moments. It had taught Steven a very valuable lesson: Women were  
crazy. And then Roy had joined the Army, leaving for Viet Nam, and Steven hadn't seen or heard from him till the job fair.

"Feels like all Jackie tries to do lately is fix me," Steven said. His teeth clenched, his masseter muscles tensing. He hadn't meant to say it. He hadn't meant to say anything.

"Yeah, I know what you mean, Steven," Roy said. He took up the cutting board, and deposited the celery into a large pot on the stove. Roy sighed heavily. "That's what Susan was always trying to do with me."

"Susan?" Steven asked. "Which was Susan again?"

"She was the one who never found the right in me," Roy said simply. He took a soupspoon, dipping it into the pot before him.

"Right," Steven said, taking up his knife again.

-x-

He reeked of onions and chicken. All he wanted was a shower, and a beer. The Camino roared to life as he peeled out of the Holiday Hotel's parking lot. It was two in the morning, and the doctor's conference had finally come to a winding halt.

Jackie would be wondering why he was coming back so late. After the nurse, she had been twitchy over his late nights out, at work or otherwise, surreptitiously checking his collar for lipstick, his skin for love bites, and the Camino for pilfered panties  
belonging to another woman. Steven wasn't in the mood for a fight, not tonight.

WFPP blared from the speakers. Steven's ears began to ache with the pulsing rock music, but he refused to turn it down. He cracked the windows, letting in a thin stream of glacial air, the buffeting wind freezing the left side of his face, and eliciting  
a steady flow of saline from his uncovered eyes.

The Forman's house was dark. Steven pulled up to the curb, cutting the headlights. He rolled up the window, exhaling roughly through his lips. The cabin of the Camino began to cool quickly. The air around him was silent without the steady purr of the  
Camino's engine. His thoughts became too much, too loud in his brain, clattering around and bringing forth a headache.

Steven pulled his jacket tight around his body, resting back in his seat. A few deep breaths. The doctors convention was over now; he was free once again from The Holiday Hotel. He pulled the keys from the ignition, closing the door softly behind him.  
Steven locked the driver's door, testing the handle, his eyes staring up at the second floor windows. Mrs. Forman slept like a cat, waking at each and every disturbance.

Steven took the stairs down to the basement at a jog, shaking out his keys. He unlocked the door and shuffled into the basement; surprise struck his features that it was still lit up.

Eric and Jackie sat waiting on the sofa. The TV was turned off, but Styx spun on the stereo, filling the sudden silence at Steven's entrance.

"Hey guys," Steven said tiredly.

"Hey man." Eric said. He sounded guilty, his hands tugging at his hair. "I thought you would've been home a couple hours ago."

"Yeah, well, there were about fourteen loads of dishes and an ungodly mess in the conference room. You know how long it takes one person to clean a conference room, Forman?" Steven hung up his coat, pulling at the neck of his chef's jacket. "Yeah, about  
as long as it took me to get home tonight, ya ass."

"Oh, yeah…" Forman pulled himself up onto the back of the couch. "You see, I had a date with Donna tonight. Couldn't miss it."

"Uh huh," Steven said, stopping by the dryer. "And, pray tell, where is Donna, Forman? "

"Well, you see, it's two in the morning, Hyde. She had to go home." Forman said. He stood from the couch, giving Jackie a weird look Steven couldn't decipher. "And I need to go to bed, so goodnight Wisconsin!"

Steven watched Eric race up the stairs to the kitchen. The basement door slammed closed and they were left alone. "Tool." Steven muttered.

"So what's up, Jackie?" Steven asked, leaning back against the deep freeze. He crossed his arms, jutting out his chin. His mental exhaustion laced his words with annoyance. "You know Red will kill me if you get caught here again."

Jackie stood. She came to stand before him, grasping his belt buckle. Her dark lashes hid her downcast eyes, her full mouth drawn to a pout. "I know, and I don't want to get you in trouble, Puddin'," Jackie's eyes drifted up, looking up at him through  
her lashes, "I just didn't want to be alone."

Steven sighed, rubbing at his eyes. He shook her off, and stalked off across the basement to the dryer. "Alright, look, just give me twenty minutes. I gotta shower this stink off of me."

"Wait!" Jackie said, springing towards him. She grasped his shirt, yanking his hips to hers. "Kiss me." Jackie demanded, her eyes half-closed.

He obliged, pressing his mouth to hers. But despite the warmth she emanated, he just couldn't get into it. He pulled away, his hands on her shoulders. "I'll be right back."

Jackie slid back onto the couch, tucking her feet under her. Steven grabbed fresh clothes from the dryer, sprinting up the stairs to the bathroom. He took his time once he closed the bathroom door.

Steven flipped on the radio Laurie had stashed on the shelving unit over the toilet, turning down the volume to keep the Forman's from coming to bang on the door. He showered slowly, soaping up his hair and massaging his scalp with gentle circles. His  
body was exhausted, his eyes heavy with fatigue. Now he'd have to drive Jackie back to her house, and come back. Forty minutes round trip, not to mention the fifteen minutes, minimum he would have to spend placating her with goodnights and kisses.  
By the time he made it back home, it'd be early morning, maybe even light out. He'd be lucky to get a few hours rest before he had to get to Milwaukee and another bland day of schmoozing with corporate stooges.

"What took you so long?" Jackie asked, her tone hard with her own exhaustion. She had clipped her hair back, her eyes ringed with black, as if she hadn't been able to help but rub at her tired eyes.

Steven plopped into his chair, pulling a fresh pair of socks over her feet. "You ready?"

"Ready for what?" Jackie snapped, watching him slip on his boots.

"To go back home, Jackie," Steven said. "I told you, Red won't let you stay here. I'll get kicked out of the house."

Jackie's head fell back on the cushion. "I waited here all night, Steven."

"I didn't ask you to," Steven shot back. He stood, extending his hand to her. "Now, come on."

Jackie ignored his hand. "What if I don't want to leave?"

"You want to get me kicked out?" Steven asked, trying to keep his voice down.

"No." Jackie spat. "I just don't want to be alone, Steven. I hate to be alone."

"Where's Pam?" Steven asked.

"She's there," Jackie said.

"So," Steven said, shrugging his shoulders. "Than you're not alone."

"Steven-" Jackie started. Her eyes were wet with unshed tears and she stared up at him balefully. "You know what, forget it."

Jackie stood, pushing past him. She shoved her arms into her coat, grabbing her purse from atop the radio. "See you later."

"Where are you going?" Steven called after her, catching the basement door before it could slam closed.

"Home." Jackie didn't turn back.

"Well, how ya getting there?" Steven said, jogging up the stairs after her. He shivered in the cold, his jacket forgotten downstairs on the coat rack.

"I'll walk." The heels of Jackie's boots echoed off the concrete, reverberating back to Steven off the clapboard siding and dense hedges rising beside them.

"Jackie." Steven called, his voice raised higher than he would've liked. He spared a glance at the dark houses of the Forman's and the Pinciotti's. "Jackie!"

Jackie didn't slow. She turned sharply at the hedge line, her nose high in the air.

"Dammit!" Steven cursed, patting his pockets in search of his keys. He ran down the sidewalk, shivering as he fumbled to open the door to the Camino. Jackie had nearly disappeared in the dark, the only thing visible the white fur collar of her jacket.

The Camino thundered to life. He cut hard from the curb, over correcting to miss nicking the fender of the Lipnitzkie's station wagon parked across the street. Steven shivered, fumbling with the heater. He let the Camino coast, for the first, and only,  
time cursing the volume of his muffler.

Jackie's pace increased as she heard the Camino approach. She kept her arms stiff at her sides, her chin jutted defensively in the air.

Steven slowed, reaching across the car to clumsily roll down the window. "Jackie!"

She acted as though she hadn't heard him. Her cheeks were shiny wet in the streetlights.

"Goddammit!" Steven cursed, turning from Marie Street onto Ivy, warm air finally pouring from the vents. He shivered, angling his body so he could see her through the opened passenger window. "Jackie! Fucking stop walking and get in the damn car!"

"No!" Jackie screeched. She tripped, the toe of her boot catching at a lip in the sidewalk, and caught herself, her arms thrown out. She stamped her foot, a petulant "Oh!" stinging the air.

Steven pulled the Camino to the curb, hopping out of the car. He hurried around the hood of the car, the metal warm on his palm. "Are you ok?"

"No!" Jackie cried, fresh tears pouring over her cheeks. She pointed at her boot. "It's- it's- it's-"

"Jackie, use your words," Steven said, following the point of her finger. "What?"

"It's-" She hiccupped. She turned her watery, spiteful eyes on him. " _It's_ _scuffed!_ "

Steven bit the inside of his cheek, his eyes drifting blessedly closed for a moment. He propped his hands on his hips and sighed, releasing the biting comment that was his natural response. The warm air that left his nose stung bitterly with the surrounding  
cold.

Jackie began to hyperventilate. Her shoulders shook, and she waved her hands in front of her face. Each breath sounded like it was scraped over gravel. Short, panted gasps that tore from her lungs and whistled into her nostrils. "Everything is falling  
apart, Steven!"

He couldn't say he didn't agree. Everything was falling apart. His job. His life.

His chick.

Gooseflesh covered his bare arms. His head fell forward, his chin resting on his chest.

"What are we doing here, Jackie?" Steven bit his lip.

The panting stopped abruptly.

"What?" Jackie asked.

"What are we doing here?" Steven repeated. He let his head drift, his chin a pendulum across his t-shirt. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

"What are you saying, Steven?" Jackie asked. She took a step forward, the scuffed toe of her boot forgotten.

Steven chewed on his tongue. A million words, thoughts, sentences were taking a leisurely jog through his brain. They danced around, never forming coherent sentences, but teasing him with their possibilities.

"Steven?" Jackie demanded. She shoved at his shoulder, upsetting his balance.

A car horn blared, startling the both of them. Steven looked about instinctively trying to locate where it had come from. Cold wind rose up around them, swirling dead leaves across the asphalt. He shivered violently.

He was vaguely aware of Jackie calling his name, her voice a distorted array of pitches that floated in one ear and out the other. Roy's words, Forman's words, mixed with the left over words of his mother. Those biting comments that had left their bitter  
imprint on his heart. Jackie had been his balm against it. A shock like an electric current brought him back. He was shivering uncontrollably now, and Jackie still hadn't finished calling his name.

The Camino's headlights lit the empty street. Long, dark shadows stretched impossibly far.

"Come on, Pumpkin Pie," Steven said softly. He took her hand, wrapping its warmth in his frozen fingers.

Jackie froze at the name. Steven hadn't used it in months. Shock etched over her features and he wasn't surprised to see it.

" _Pumpkin Pie?" Jackie asked derisively. "That's the best you can come up with?"_

" _You want something better?" Steven threw back, his feelings slightly hurt by her reaction._

 _Jackie sat up. Her long, dark hair curtained her face. She scowled up at the dark basement ceiling of Steven's bedroom._

" _Well, I mean, I always associated food nicknames with fat people," Jackie explained._

 _Steven scoffed. "You call me 'Puddin' Pop'."_

" _Fat_ girls _, Steven," Jackie rolled her eyes._

" _Well, you're definitely not fat," Steven's hands traversed her skin. He squeezed a nipple, just hard enough to elicit a gasp from Jackie. "You're exactly like pumpkin pie. Not everyone likes you. Just like pumpkin pie."_

" _Steven, everyone likes me." Jackie said, straddling his hips. Her palms pressed into his pillow on either side of his head._

" _Whatever you say, Pumpkin Pie."_

"Where are we going, Puddin'?" Jackie asked, stepping closer. She clutched at him, as if afraid he would disappear with the next breeze. "You're so cold."

Steven silently led her to the El Camino, opening the passenger door for her. He could see her out of the corner of his eye, watching him as he rounded the hood. She had brought her legs up onto the seat, her body turned to his as he inelegantly got behind  
the wheel. Silently, she slid across the bench seat, wrapping her arms about his arm. It made it hard to shift gears, but he let her hold on to him.

He let her cling to him the whole way to the Burkhart's. He relished in it, the feel of her next to him. It cleared his mind, to crawl into bed next to her. Arguments died on his tongue. There was no need to argue, she needed him here. If Red kicked him  
out, then that'd be the kick in his ass to get his own place. Besides, Jackie was the one who would be at his side through everything. She already had. Pushing her away now wouldn't ease his heart.

Jackie curled against him. His arm tightened about her, his fingers gripping her nightdress. She grunted in her sleep, twisting away from the pull on her clothes.

Steven gripped her tighter, his exhaustion hitting the tipping edge where it lulled him into insomnia. He held her flush to him, afraid to let her go. Afraid that this time, the hysteria threatening them both, was the one to rip them apart.

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	7. Chapter 7

**The Seeker**

White light filtered through the eyelet lace curtains covering Jackie's window. The bright pink walls were mauve in the early dawn, and Steven rolled away, his body stiff from sharing her cramped twin bed. Heaviness hung about the air, the oppressive heaviness that accompanied the first, fresh snow of the year, and Steven sighed.

Steven hated the first snow, hated the knee-jerk reaction it always brought. Mentally, he pictured where his coat was, his brain taking him to the memory of Edna giving it to her current man-thing to wear home after a romp on the living room floor.

Steven rubbed at his eyes, pressing his eyeballs back into their sockets. Multicolored stars covered the inside of his eyelids. He let his hand fall to his side, his eyes squeezed tightly closed.

Jackie shifted next to him, her left leg searching for him in her sleep, her frozen foot a block of ice on his warm skin. Steven shifted away from her; he had never been one to cuddle first thing in the morning, had never been one for conversation before caffeinating.

He left her sleeping, wrapped up in her thick duvet. She would be upset that he had left without telling her goodbye, angry that he hadn't kissed her once "Good", twice "Morning". The lingering kiss he had pressed to her temple would suffice for him, the way it had elicited a small smile to curve Jackie's lips. The sheen of his kiss on her skin, knowing she wasn't awake to subtly wipe it away made him happy in a way he couldn't explain.

Steven rubbed at a smudge of ink on the side of his palm, leftover from his scrawled limerick to her in compensation for his withheld kiss to her mouth. It wasn't one of his best, but Jackie wouldn't care. He propped it on her vanity, leaning it against her bottle of perfume. Moments passed as Steven stood in her room. He acted a voyeur into her life, trespassing on her memories and possessions. For good measure, he had spritzed her scent to his wrist, an action that felt both ridiculous and a bit taboo.

He had stared at the light purple paper on which he had scrawled his words. Its edges were ringed with unicorns and other celestial entities. He felt he should do something equally ridiculous, spray his scent to the small square of paper, or kissed it. Something Jackie would do to show him that all she did was care and love. All she wanted were proofs of his affection. He could give her samples of that, at least.

Steven pressed his wrist to his mouth, breathing softly her scent. He felt increasingly silly, but didn't stop, comforted in the rush of security it induced on his body. It was a heady scent, earthly and strong. He imagined the touch of his mouth to his skin was Jackie's. And just slightly his lips parted, pressing an open mouthed kiss to his skin. It was this last hallucination his brain inflicted upon him that caused him to slap his palm to the steering wheel in equal frustration and embarrassment.

The Camino rumbled as Steven accelerated to enter the highway towards Milwaukee. He jerkily cut in front of a station wagon cruising in the fast lane, flooring the gas pedal. The station wagon blared its shrill horn and Steven flipped them off, waving his erect middle finger in the back window.

The hour-long drive seemed to stretch on forever. He was caught in bumper-to-bumper morning traffic entering the bustling city, and the Camino jumped every time he released the clutch, the both of them itching for open road. He considered driving till the tank ran empty. He could make it to the east coast, maybe even New York. Or maybe he'd go the other direction; see the Rockies, California.

He let those aspirations and wants die on the pavement as he pulled into the Grooves parking lot, idling into his assigned spot in the parking garage. Steven pulled his coat tighter about his body, eyeing the patches of snow that covered the windowsills of the garage. God, he hated the snow.

Grooves Corporate Headquarters was already full of twenty-something's, and Steven entered the elevator amongst the throng. Light piano music trilled overhead as the elevator made its frequent stops, belching out passengers and eagerly accepting new ones. Steven edged to a corner, leaning against the paneled wall; he rubbed at his tired eyes, wishing desperately for a cup of hot coffee.

Gloria greeted him as he stepped off the elevator, jumping up from behind her desk at reception. She smiled brightly at him, clutching her notepad to her chest.

"Mr. Hyde, good morning," Gloria said, following him down the short hall to his office. Steven grunted in reply. Gloria continued, undeterred. She flipped a page on her notepad, tapping the eraser of her pencil on the paper. "Dennis left _another_ message. He said that he would like to know _before_ he starts the credits for last month if there would be any discrepancies with Oshkosh again. There was a message left about ten minutes ago from a girl who would only give her name as The Love of Steven Hyde's Life, You Cow, so I wrote that one down for you." Gloria held out a folded piece of paper, her eyes locked on her notepad. "Oh, and Mr. Barnett would like to see you for lunch. He has someone he'd like to introduce you to."

Steven plopped down behind his desk, taking the folded paper containing Jackie's message from Gloria's hand. He mumbled a terse thanks to her, noting her ambling departure, and the way she lingered at the door. Gloria's heels echoed on the white tile as she walked back to her desk, increasing in speed the further she got from his office.

"Gloria!" Steven hollered. He waited a second, his eyes throbbing with fatigue. He rubbed at his sideburns, staring up at the gaping doorway. "The door, Gloria! The door!"

Gloria reappeared a second later, smiling at Steven as she pulled the door closed with a snap. "Sorry, Mr. Hyde."

Steven fingered the note from Jackie, rubbing the tip of his pointer finger against the sharp folded edge. He contemplated its contents, his thumb sliding between the two folds so Gloria's neat script was visible.

He read Jackie's message swiftly, pursing his mouth. He pondered back to the night before, to Roy's words, and the complete exhaustion he had felt at his relationship. What he needed was some shuteye. Or maybe a beer, but he noted with disdain, the clock read only nine thirty in the morning. The Wild Goose wouldn't open for another hour and a half.

Steven crossed his ankles, perching his feet up on his desk. Six months ago, before the nurse, that was when things were inherently good. There was a semblance of trust. It was the way she looked at him, and came to him for comfort. On the outside he had acted unfeeling and uncaring. And it had cost him her.

Sighing, Steven bunkered down in his chair. You'd think he'd had learned. Push her away, she runs straight back to Kelso. He'd already had to live without her for a month after he had confessed his indiscretion; he wasn't willing to go through that kind of torture again.

-x-

Jackie swiped the nail polish brush over her toes, chewing on her lower lip. She stretched her toes, spreading them apart to keep the polish from smearing. Peter Frampton sang to her from her hi-fi, and she hummed along, waving her fingers over her toes.

" _But don't hesitate, cause your love, won't wait."_

Leaning back against the side of her bed, Jackie screwed the bottle of nail polish closed, setting it down on the white carpet. She could vaguely hear her mother downstairs, the music increasing in volume the drunker Pam got.

" _I can see the sunset in your eyes."_

This morning she had awoken inexplicably sad. She blamed it on Steven's lack of farewell kiss. To have spent the night by his side, surrounded by his warmth, only to wake up wrapped like a burrito in her own arms was not the way she had wanted to start today, or any day.

She picked up her lavender stationary, reading his words. For such a scruffy man, who had grown up poor, his handwriting was surprisingly artistic.

 _There once was a girl from Point Place,_

 _Who has the most beautiful face,_

 _She's got a nice ass,_

 _And is full of sass,_

 _There's none like her in all of space._

After everything that had transpired between them last night, the argument she didn't understand, the anger he had radiated. Jackie had spent all afternoon and night waiting for him to come home. She had been excited at the thought that when he walked through the doors, he would smile and kiss her hello. Not give her an exasperated look and a sneer, asking her what she was doing. Like she was the scourge of the Earth. That had been what had hurt the worst.

"Jackie, I think you're putting too much pressure on him," Eric had said last night, shifting on the couch. He crossed his arms, picking at his sleeve. "He's a scruffy orphan boy, he doesn't know how to love properly."

"But that's just the thing, Eric!" Jackie had retorted. She brought her leg up under her, sitting on her calf. "I'm trying to teach him that! All I've ever done is try to make him better, improve him and shape him into the man that I know will make me happy when we're married."

"Dear God," Eric muttered, his eyes blinking rapidly. "What is it with girls and marriage?"

"'What is it with girls and marriage'?" Jackie parroted, her eyebrows furrowing together. "You were literally engaged to be married a month ago. Followed by a wedding that _you_ ran out on. Why would you even propose, if you were just going to embarrass Donna by abandoning her at the altar? As if being your girlfriend isn't embarrassment enough."

Eric waved his hand in dismissal. "That's beside the point."

The opening notes for the nightly news filled the brief, tense silence. Jackie found she was sitting rigidly, her right hand gripping the back of the couch cushion.

"Look, Jackie," Eric started, licking his lips. His green eyes rose to meet hers, his eyebrows high on his smooth forehead. "You put too much expectation on people. You did it to Kelso, and look how well that turned out."

"Now hang on-" Jackie started, her eyes drifting closed as she took a deep breath to begin her tirade.

"And!" Eric interrupted jabbing his pointer finger into the air, his voice rising over hers. "Now you're doing it to Hyde! You put expectations on people that are so high, there's no possible way they could rise to meet them."

"That is _not_ true!" Jackie sputtered.

"You know it is," Eric said. "Why do you want to get married so badly?"

"Why did you want to marry Donna?" Jackie shot back, suddenly defensive.

Eric's eyebrows rose and fell as he considered his answer. "Well, for starters, she's the only woman I've ever truly loved. She's my best friend. My life without Donna wouldn't be a life worth living. It was the way to prove to her that I was committed to making things work after she went to California and after all the crap with Casey Kelso. Thank you for that, by the way."

"That's all I'm asking of Steven, Eric!" Jackie jumped in. She scooted closer to him on the couch, resting her hand on his forearm. Eric looked at her with trepidation, his eyes pinging from her ever-tightening hand to her face. "All I'm asking is that he prove he wants to spend the rest of his life with me! Marriage proves just that!"

"And what does he say to that?" Eric prompted, his voice hinting that he already knew Steven's answer.

"He says that we're too young and that maybe after high school, or college, or sometime in the future," Jackie recited flippantly. "He can never just give me a straight answer. It's either 'maybe' or he answers my question with a question wanting to know why I want to get married."

"Why _do_ you want to get married?" Eric asked next.

Jackie jerkily sat forward, focusing on the small black and white television. Her foot began to tap on the concrete rapidly. "I want to get married _because_ I want to wear the white dress, and the veil, and I want everyone to get gifts that I tell them to get, and to have a new last name that shows all the other single, gross girls that, I, Jacqueline Burkhart, am indeed far superior."

"So basically you just want a man, any man, to propose to you." Eric stated.

"No, obviously, I want Steven to propose." Jackie corrected.

"But you had also wanted Kelso to propose, and when that didn't happen, you latched on to the next guy. Hyde." Eric said.

"I didn't _latch_ onto Steven, Eric," Jackie sputtered, offended. "We fell in love."

"Devil Woman," Eric mumbled under his breath. He rubbed at his eyes. "Can't you see why Hyde may not want to propose to you?"

Jackie's mouth fell open. "Are you blind?"

"Unfortunately," Eric looked at her, "no."

"Try explaining yourself, Forman, cause all you're doing is talking in circles," Jackie said petulantly.

" _A string of suspicious break-ins has the police on high alert in the Kenosha area,"_ Pauline Terry announced, filling the silence that had fallen. _"Law enforcement is encouraging the public to report any suspicious activity to their local department, and as always, to be safe and aware of your surroundings."_

Eric chewed on his lips for a moment, staring blankly at the TV. His waiter's jacket was dirty and he absently picked at a stain.

"When I proposed to Donna," Eric began, suddenly serious. "It wasn't to prove anything to anyone else. It was just us. That's all that mattered to me."

Jackie's ears began to ring. She drew in a deep breath, holding it in her lungs. Her heartbeat pounded in her ears, and she could feel the organ pumping wildly in her chest.

"To be honest, Jackie, it seems like you're trying to prove something to yourself," Eric said softly. His voice was void of derision. Despite herself, Jackie found herself considering what Eric was saying. "I don't know what's going on with you and Hyde. I don't know what's going on at home, with your mom. But I will tell you, that I've never seen Hyde the way he is with you."

Tears had begun to cloud her vision. "How do you mean?"

Eric looked uncomfortable. He pulled at the legs of his pants, sitting stiffly on the loveseat. "In love. Happy."

"Really?" Jackie asked, somewhat skeptically.

"Yeah," Eric said, looking to her. "So, answer me this. Honestly, if you please."

Eric was staring at her, his head cocked back. Jackie massaged her lips together, her hands gripping at her shirt.

"I'll try," Jackie whispered.

"Why do you really want to get married?"

Jackie's mouth opened to respond, but nothing came. Her jaws snapped shut and she felt her face pull into a scowl.

Eric waited patiently. He gave her time to consider her answer, standing from the couch to flip off the TV as the national anthem began to play, the stars and stripes waving across the screen. Jackie didn't object to his choice of music, Styx, instead sitting immobile on the small sofa. Eric perched on the back of the sofa, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees.

"Honestly?" Jackie said finally. Her tears had faded unshed, leaving behind a stark numbness that coated her body.

"Yeah," Eric agreed. "Honestly."

"It's because of my parents, I think that's where it all started," Jackie said. She scratched at her temple. "They had this picture perfect wedding. My mother's dress was like Grace Kelly's when she married Prince Rainier. And my father, the way he looked at her. It was like he had never seen anyone so beautiful."

Eric inhaled sharply. He looked as if he wanted to interject, but remained quiet.

"And then- I don't know, they just changed," Jackie said. "It wasn't always so bad y'know, they had a good thing going for a long time. We would go on trips, we would pick out the Christmas tree together, and we always had dinner together."

"What happened?" Eric said softly, his voice soothing.

Jackie rolled her eyes. "Beatrice happened."

"Who's Beatrice?" Eric asked.

"Daddy's secretary," Jackie said. "She helped him embezzle money from the city, and they would go on trips to New York, and Paris. I was supposed to go to Paris, Eric, me! And then this blond tart with a big rack comes into the picture and, suddenly, it's like we didn't matter anymore. And then my mom started drinking a lot, and having affairs, and it was like, true love got stabbed in the heart!"

"Ok, this still isn't explaining why you are so desperate to be hitched to Hyde," Eric said.

"Because I love him!" Jackie cried. Her voice resounded through the basement. "I love him more than I've ever loved anything, or anyone, including me, Eric! I just want to know he feels the same way about me! Is that too much to ask?"

"And the only way he can do that is to put a ring on your finger?"

"Well, it wouldn't hurt!" Jackie said. "Diamonds make life better, dumbass!"

"Jackie, you seriously have a lot of shit to work through," Eric said, shaking his head. "It's all about you. What you want, when you want it."

Jackie's eyes rounded comically. "And?"

Eric's eyes drifted closed, his head falling back on his shoulders. "Lord, grant me strength."

Jackie harrumphed.

"It's not all about you, all the time, in every single little thing," Eric said.

"Well, it should be," Jackie retorted.

"What about what Steven wants?" Eric said exasperatedly. He held his hands out, beseechingly. "What if he can give you everything you want, everything that will make you happy, but doesn't marry you? Will that be enough?"

"No," Jackie said adamantly.

"But _why_?" Eric nearly yelled, his frustration leaking into his voice. "No! Don't answer; think about it! I'm sure somewhere in your brain there is the capacity to think of others, try to find it."

"I don't understand what it is you're trying to say, Eric!" Jackie threw back. She stood from the couch, beginning to pace around the basement. "Are you saying that I'm not listening to Steven?"

"Thank you!" Eric cried, kissing the tips of his fingers and gesticulating to the ceiling. "Yes! That's exactly what I'm saying, Jackie!"

"I do too listen to Steven!" Jackie argued, her voice sounding weak even to her own ears.

"No! You don't!" Eric lamented. "You're pushing him away, Jackie, with all this "marry me now you piece of crap or I'm leaving you" business."

"Why is it Steven's the victim in this?" Jackie yelled, her voice thick with emotion. "Why can't it be me who's the victim for once? I have dreams, and wants, and ambitions, and what good is all of that if I'm all alone?"

Eric's forehead fell to rest in his palms.

"I do everything to ensure our future, Eric!" Jackie continued, pointing to herself. "I get involved in the society parties. I volunteer with the LOPPS. I study and work hard to get good grades so I can get into a decent school, so one day I can get a respectable job that will make Steven proud. And what does he do?"

"Well, I mean, I thought he had a pretty cool job, working for a record company," Eric said sarcastically. "All I hear you saying Jackie is that you want to live out an episode of _The Guiding Light_ , or something. Drama, drama, drama."

"Oh, what do you know?" Jackie asked rhetorically. "All I want is for him to show me he actually cares about me!"

"How?" Eric asked, his frustration lacing his words. "You want him to paint it on the water tower? Trench it into someone's lawn?"

"No," Jackie said, shaking out her hands. "I just, I want to feel like he means it when he tells me he loves me. I want to feel like he'll be as devastated as I will be if this ever ends. I can't do it, Eric; I can't not be with Steven. That's why I want to get married. I can't stand the thought of it, of him being with someone else."

Eric stared at her agape. "Huh?"

"It makes me so mad, my blood boils," Jackie said. "The thought of what he did with that nurse. Worse than Michael, and he cheated on me a billion times."

"Jackie," Eric said, placating her. "You know Hyde would take that back if he could. He moped for weeks."

"Yeah, well, so did I." Jackie said. "My heart had never felt that kind of pain before."

Jackie plopped on the couch, deflated. Eric tentatively reached out, patting her on the shoulder. Her first reaction was to shove him off, burn him at his sensitivities. But it was comforting, she decided, that someone, even Eric, cared. It was as if he was her only true friend in this world, and she wasn't sure if that thought terrified her, or consoled her.

"I've been alone for so long, felt alone inside myself, I don't want to feel that way all my life." Jackie said, the words pouring out of her like vomit. "Steven makes me feel whole."

The Jackie in her pink bedroom the next day looked around at the walls as if seeing them for the first time. She looked at her record collection, her stuffed animals, and her lace curtains. And everywhere she saw bits of Steven.

The Rolling Stones and the Sex Pistols had been mixed in with ABBA. There was the stuffed dog; it's fur plush and multicolored, which Steven had won for her at the last county fair. He had given her a shy smile, a rare occurrence, sunglasses clipped to the front of his t-shirt and his eyes two sapphires in the glaring sun as he presented the stuffed animal to her. Just thinking of the way he had looked at her, and the ensuing make out and love making it had earned him, was enough to make her hot with want this very second. Jackie stared over at her curtains, imagining Steven pushing them aside as he climbed in through her window. What she wouldn't give for the dream to be the reality. She would kiss him to her hearts content, caress his body with her hands and her mouth.

Jackie stood, walking on the heels of her feet, toes spread apart, over to her make up table. She opened the little drawer of her vanity, where she kept all the notes Steven had written to her. When they were both in high school, she would find little limericks and haiku's stuffed in the vent of her locker. Once he had graduated and they had gotten back together, she would find them in her book bag, on her vanity, under her pillow.

Over time they had grown fewer and far between. Jackie was lucky if she got a smile these days it felt like. Steven had receded into some part of himself, and she found she couldn't follow him.

Back were the days when he was aloof, distant, Zen. But he was the master, not she, and for all her skill, she still hadn't figured out how to crack his shell. The harder she pushed, the further he shrank away.

In two weeks time was the LOPPS Christmas Party. This was his last chance, Jackie decided, dropping in his latest contribution and sliding the drawer closed.

Either Steven Hyde realized what he had, or Jackie Burkhart was gone to greener horizons.

-x-

"What do you mean she wants me to prove to her that I'm not leaving?" Steven asked Eric. Both boys were perched on the small loveseat in the basement, no longer pretending to watch Gilligan's Island. "Is that what you two were gabbing about like a couple of chicks last night when I got home?"

Eric made a noncommittal noise. "Look, man, I'm just trying to be a good friend. Spread the joy that is your unholy union."

"Man, Forman, mind your own business," Steven muttered, taking a large gulp of his beer. He had fought the Milwaukee traffic home, making it to the Forman's just in time to eat dinner with the family. Was it too much to ask that he have a beer in peace before someone laid into him?

"You're right, Hyde," Eric said, nodding his head.

Blissful silence fell between them.

And then Eric opened his mouth.

"Ok, last question," Eric said, his voice betraying his intentions that this would most definitely not be the last question. "Do you want to marry her? I'm serious, man."

"Fucking Christ, you sound like Jackie," Steven said. "Marriage, marriage, marriage. I would've thought you of all people would be the most hesitant to speak of the blessed event."

"Just, you know, just decide what it is exactly that you want, Hyde," Eric said. "Cause while I hate to admit it, Jackie's been pretty good for you, and you for her. You've gotten her to completely stop quoting Nancy Drew. You deserve a freaking medal for that one."

"Decide what I want, what like its that easy?" Steven said, gripping the aluminum can tightly in his fist. The metal popped and dented around his fingers. "Like you decided you wanted to marry Donna, and then just as easily decided you didn't want to marry Donna?"

"Man, I wish everyone would quit bringing that up," Eric moaned, letting his head fall back on the couch cushion.

"I have no idea what that feels like," Steven said mockingly. He tipped back his beer, swallowing the last of it in two gulps. A burp welled up in his throat and he belched obnoxiously. Standing, Steven tossed the empty beer can into the shower, grabbing a fresh sixer on his way past. He ignored Eric's call after him, slamming his bedroom door closed and flipping on his stereo.

Drinking himself into a stupor sounded pretty damn good, and that's exactly what he planned on doing. He'd deal with this shit in the morning. Besides, always put off today what you can do tomorrow. Right?

 **You all have left me amazing reviews! I read them once, and then twice, and then a third time for good measure! They made me smile, and I greatly appreciate each and every one.**


	8. Chapter 8

**The Seeker**

Jackie eased the exterior basement door shut, the knob turned tightly in her palm. Wind whistled down the exterior stairs, buffeting against the door. Her hand pressed to the cool wood, and she paused, catlike by the door, listening for any noises. It was dark in the cold room, while soft, ambient light brightened the top of the staircase from the kitchen.

Music blared from Steven's bedroom. Jackie released the doorknob, stepping on her toes across the basement towards the small closet that doubled as Steven's room.

 _Should I stay or should I go now?_

 _If I go, there will be trouble._

 _But if I stay, it will be double._

"Steven?" Jackie said softly, knocking on his vibrating bedroom door.

"So you gotta let me know!" Steven's voice sang, echoing through the wood. He sounded drunk, Jackie thought, pressing her ear to the door. Jackie knocked again, slightly louder, her knuckles rapping on the hard grain.

 _Should I stay or should I go?_

"Steven!" Jackie called, testing the doorknob. It jerked in her palm, the knob rattling.

The music abruptly lowered, and a shaft of light appeared at the bottom of the door. Jackie stepped back. It took Steven a second to unlock the door. A muffled curse reached her, and then blinding light washed over her as Steven yanked the door open. She blinked rapidly, her eyes working to adjust to the sudden change.

"Jackie." Steven stated, swaying on his feet.

 _Definitely drunk,_ Jackie thought. She peered past him into his room, taking in the empty beer cans littering the dresser and the floor around his bed.

"What are you doing here?" Steven asked, blocking the door. He leaned against the doorframe, supporting his weight with his left hand. A soft burp left his lips. "What time is it?"

"It's late," Jackie supplied. She stepped closer, filling the doorway. "Can I come in?"

Steven nodded, raising his arm so Jackie could duck under it and enter his room.

Closing and locking the door behind her, Steven scooted a rolled up bath towel to block the gap between the door and the concrete. The Clash revolved slowly on his turntable, and Jackie stood uncertainly in the center of his room. Marijuana smoke clouded the air. A stale musty scent cut under the sweet smoke, and Jackie revolved in a circle. Piles of dirty clothes were scattered about the room. His bed was disheveled, the blankets twisted as though he had woken from a nightmare.

It felt like weeks since she had last been in his room. Perhaps it had been, she thought sardonically. Kitty's cocktail party, their lovemaking. That was the last time.

"What's up?" Steven asked, meeting her on the small rag rug. His eyes were bloodshot and his wife beater had a beer stain ringing the collar.

Jackie pursed her lips, perching on the arm of the musty green chair. She crossed her knees, pressing her folded palms between them. "I just missed you, is all. It feels like it's been forever since I last saw you."

"You saw me last night," Steven said, though it sounded more like a question. He scratched the back of his neck, his torso pivoting as he looked around his room. Bending at the waist, he grappled at the six-pack yokes, swiping the last two beers from their spot nearly under his bed. "Want a beer?"

"How much have you had to drink tonight, Steven?" Jackie asked, freeing a beer from the plastic rings. She fiddled with the pull-tab, the beer resting on her knee.

"Uhm," Steven said, chewing on his cheek. He gestured to the empty cans. A hand waved limply through the air. "I dunno exactly. A lot?"

Jackie nodded, pulling the tab on her beer. She took a tentative sip, holding the lukewarm beer in her mouth.

"I hear you and Forman had a good talk," Steven said, plopping onto his bed. Jackie watched him, noting the accusatory way he spoke to her. He leaned back against the dresser, his knees hooked over the side. Pulling at the tab to his own beer, he flung the tab across the room, belching softly.

"Are you mad?" Jackie asked, gripping the can a little tighter. Her tone was defensive, as was the tension that had settled across her shoulders.

Steven brought his beer to his mouth again, narrowly missing, and sloshing beer onto his chin. He wiped absently at his face, rubbing his hand down his front. The cobalt of his eyes was as cutting as his tone. "Should I be?"

Jackie rolled her eyes, taking a deep breath. She took another sip of beer, followed by another. The arm of the chair was hard under her butt and she shifted her weight. "No, Steven, you shouldn't be."

"You wanna tell me about it?" Steven prompted, his eyes fixed on her across the room. "Or are you gonna keep me in suspense?"

Swallowing thickly, Jackie's eyes settled just past Steven, staring at the slightly bent lampshade cover. The bulb burned bright beneath the white fabric. Its shadow cast his profile into review, the sharp line of his nose, and the pucker of his lips. Jackie sipped her beer, feeling the lightness of the can settle into her fingers with each swig.

Steven cleared his throat, crushing his empty can in his fingers. He threw the can across the room, aiming to a collection of other cans in the corner. Jackie watched the can arc through the air, staring at its resting place in contemplation.

"Well, if you're not gonna talk, I'm gonna go to sleep," Steven said, sliding onto his side on the cot, facing her. His knees bent and he pushed his hands between his knees. His cheeks puffed and he slowly exhaled, his eyes drifting shut.

"Steven," Jackie said, setting aside her mostly empty beer. She stood from the armchair and crossed the room in two steps, sinking onto the cot. Steven jostled on the cot, but otherwise didn't stir. His shoulder was warm under her fingers. "Steven."

"Huh?" Steven grunted, his eyes closed.

Jackie smoothed his hand over his forehead, catching a couple wayward curls. Licking her lips, she softened her tone, letting a sense of calm wash over her. Steven reacted best when she was sweet, giving into her requests with less bickering. His lips parted, his eyes briefly opening to look at her, and then drooping closed again.

"Would you go to the LOPPS Christmas Party with me?" Jackie asked harmoniously, tracing the shell of his ear. "It would make me so happy. I'll buy you a new shirt and even let you wear the sunglasses."

"If I say yes," his lips smacked around his words, "will you quit badgering me about gettin' hitched?" Steven said, blearily opening one eye.

Jackie nodded her head yes, all the time lying. "Yeah, sure, Puddin'. Whatever you say."

"Bout damn time," Steven muttered. His acerbic tone had not yet faded, and as Jackie closed his bedroom door, a bite of guilt sliced through her. Tomorrow morning, Steven wouldn't have the slightest recollection of his promise. Jackie knew that, and yet, she found she didn't care. It wasn't her fault he made promises while plastered. It was his fault he forgot them.

-x-

Steven clutched at the belt loops on Jackie's jeans, yanking her back to him. Music pulsed around them, Cass Jenkins bumped his beer arm, spilling beer over his hand, but Jackie returned to him with a smile, coming to stand between his knees.

Jackie took a long gulp of her solo cup, drinking the last of her beer. She stumbled on her feet, giggling when Steven grasped her waist, pulling her closer.

"You're drunk," Steven acknowledged, stacking his cup into hers. He took a gulp of his own beer, his arms and legs feeling fuzzy with booze. "Hell, I think I'm drunk."

"You're cute," Jackie said, wrapping her arms about his neck. She giggled again, shaking her hair out behind her shoulders. "Even when you're drunk."

"You're so hot," Steven returned, nuzzling her neck. "Especially when you're drunk."

"I know," Jackie said flippantly, pulling away. "I'm always hot. Duh." She reached for his cup, draining the last of his beer. She tipped her head back, shaking out the last couple of drops, dropping into a pout when she again made eye contact with Steven. "Awe, no. It's empty."

Again, Jackie giggled, her full bottom lip disappearing between her teeth.

"Well, we can't have that," Steven said, taking the cups from her. "You wait here. I'll get us some refills."

Jackie pressed her mouth to his, kissing him deeply. "You're the best Puddin' Pop."

Steven smirked. "I know."

He pushed back at her hips, adjusting his belt buckle. Saluting Jackie, he smiled broadly. "Wish me luck."

"Just come back to me," Jackie said, latching onto him. She molded her face into a look of contrition, only breaking character twice as laughter bubbled up her throat. Her brown eyes were alight with mischief. "Don't be a hero out there."

"Kiss me again, baby," Steven said, leaning into her. "Give me something to hold on to."

Jackie obliged him happily, jumping towards him and eagerly pressing her mouth to his. She moaned into his mouth, her tongue pressing against his lips. They made out briefly, but languorously, savoring the taste of beer on the others tongues.

Steven smacked Jackie's butt, eliciting a sharp yelp of surprise, before turning on his heel. A group of girls had started dancing together in the living room, their arms extended over their heads as they swayed their hips and laughed, drunkenly singing along to Hollywood Nights. A couple of guys Steven recognized from his class at Point Place High pointed and jeered.

Kids milled about the hall to the kitchen. Steven pushed past Randy and Alyssa, sucking face and dry humping one another in line for the bathroom. They were Point Place High's golden couple; the one voted Most Likely to Make It. He skirted a drunken Tiffany Byers, fielding off her grappling hands, and directing her to her boyfriend back in the living room. He nodded his head in greeting to Andy Wheeler at the keg, producing his and Jackie's cups to be filled.

"Sup, man?" Steven asked Andy, holding the cups as Andy picked up the spout.

"Long time, no see, dude, what's been goin' on?" Wheeler said, taking a cup and beginning to pour a beer.

"Oh, you know, not much." Steven said, taking the full cup and handing over the empty. "Just workin'."

"You?" Wheeler laughed once. "Man, I would've thought you would never get a job."

"Yeah, well, when you've got a chick who wants the most expensive shit," Steven took the second full cup, "you gotta do something."

Wheeler's eyes brightened. He leered at Hyde, almost knowingly. "You still dating the Burkhart chick?"

Steven sipped his beer, his eyes narrowing over the lip of the cup. He smacked his lips. "Yeah."

Wheeler's eyebrows rose on his forehead. He chuckled shifting his weight from foot to foot. "Man, you've got you a hot one. If what Kelso has to say about what it was like to get her in bed is true, than you're one lucky son of a bitch."

"What'd you say?" Steven asked.

"Oh, no," Andy said, dropping the spout to the keg. He raised his hands before him, stepping back. "I didn't mean anything by that, man, it's cool. I'm jut drunk. I swear."

Steven looked Andy up and down. He drank his cup of beer in three long swallows, holding out his cup for Wheeler to fill again. Wheeler did so, his rounded eyes never leaving Steven.

"Honest, man," Andy said, handing back the full cup. "I didn't mean it."

Nodding slowly, Steven took his beer. "It's cool."

Wheeler still didn't look convinced. He nodded, staring at Steven in trepidation.

Steven continued to nod, relaxing his stance. "Look, it's cool, don't worry about it."

"Yeah," Wheeler said. He laughed once, relaxing back on his right leg. "Yeah, man, no worries."

 _Yeah, man,_ Steven thought, pushing his way through the throng back to Jackie. He found his way back to her easily, locating her exactly where he had left her. She was perched on a bar stool, ignoring everyone around her, her back straight and hands on her knees. She smiled at him without care, a large toothy grin that crinkled her eyes and put dimples on her cheeks. Steven had never found her more beautiful. He brought his cup to his mouth, taking a small sip.

 _Yeah, man, no worries._

-x-

"Oh, my god," Jackie gasped. Steven pushed her against the wall, kissing her cheek, her jaw, and down the column of her throat. He bit roughly at her pulse point and she cried out, grabbing a handful of his hair. She pushed back against the wall, leveraging herself and wrapped her legs about his hips, angling her hips so she could rub herself against him.

"Fuck," Steven breathed, jutting his hips up into her, rubbing his erection strategically into her clit. Jackie's fingers tightened over his scalp. He hissed in pleasure, his hips working against her.

Their mouths angled over the others, deep panting breaths pushing past their lips. Their movements were clumsy, and without abandon. Jackie's hands pulled at the back of Steven's shirt, working to pull it over his shoulders.

"Take this off," Jackie commanded, yanking at the soft material. " Now. I want to feel you."

Steven stepped back, letting Jackie slide down the wall to her feet. He yanked his shirt over his head, balling up his shirt and throwing it away from them. Grasping the hem of her sweater, he yanked her to him. Shoving her arms straight over her head, Steven paused, teasing her skin with his fingertips. He rubbed his fingers over her stomach, dipping ever so slightly into the waistband of her jeans. He could feel his pulse throb, in his neck, in his fingertips, and in the swollen member in his jeans.

"Steven-" Jackie moaned. She let her head fall back, exposing the creamy skin of her throat.

He captured her mouth again, walking her backwards so she was once more pressed against the wall. His hands glided up her sides, past her shoulders, up her arms. Grabbing both her fists in one of his hands, he reached with the other to the button on her jeans, roughly pulling it free.

"Steven, let me touch you," Jackie said, trying to kiss him. Steven's hips pressed her more firmly to the wall. She pouted at him, her eyes staring up at him through her lashes.

Steven decided then and there, watching as her lower lip, swollen from their kisses, disappeared between her teeth, only to emerge plump and wet, that she was wicked. Wicked and sexy. Fuck, did she look good.

Releasing her hands, Steven cupped her face barely registering that Jackie's hands had fallen to his belt buckle, roughly pulling the leather from its fastenings. He licked her lips, sucking her lower lip into his mouth, sucking on her skin with varying pressure. She pushed him back roughly, belt buckle opening and swaying with his movements.

Tantalizingly slow, she grasped the hem of her sweater. It was in slow motion that he watched her arms cross as she brought the material over her head, hair full of static, and pull it free from her arms. She kicked out of her shoes, a flush covering her chest.

"God, Jackie," Steven said. His hands reached for her, covering hers at the waistband of her jeans, and shoving them down her legs. He kissed the apex of her shoulder and throat, groaning at the warmth that met his fingers between her thighs. "Fuck, you're wet."

"I want you," Jackie said, her hands traversing over his body. She stepped out of her jeans, pushing him back so she could pull his jeans down.

On her knees before him, she took him into her mouth, tasting the pre-cum that had pearled onto the tip of his dick. Steven's hand curled around, gripping the back of her head. He watched her as she slowly began to move her head. She left him coated in saliva, reaching up to stroke his shaft as she blew him, her dark eyes watching his reaction.

Jackie's hand dipped between her thighs, her fingers stroking her lips. She moaned around him, the vibration echoing into his stomach. Steven watched as she released him with a _pop_ , sitting back on her heels to bring her glistening finger to her mouth. Jackie rubbed the pad of her finger across her lower lip.

"Fuck."

Jackie rocked back on her heels, coming to stand. Her tongue slowly poked out of her mouth, rubbing against her lower lip.

Steven turned them towards her bed, pushing her down onto the mattress. He crawled up her body, kissing her hips, her belly button, and the peaking buds of her nipples.

"Kiss me, Steven," Jackie demanded. Steven leaned over her, gently kissing her mouth. "Oh, god," Jackie moaned as Steven slid into her. Her eyes fell closed, her eyebrows drawing together as Steven made several small strokes, working his way to fill her completely.

"God, you're so tight," Steven whispered into her ear. He bit at her earlobe, sucking and nipping the tender flesh between his teeth. He began to pump in and out of her, lost in the feeling of her around him. Jackie's head thrust back into the pillow, her dark locks a halo over her pillow. Her eyes were bright as jewels, and two twin pinpricks of color rose on the crests of her cheeks.

"Harder," Jackie whimpered. "Oh, god, harder, baby."

His pace quickened, his rhythm becoming erratic as he slammed into her. He would come too quick if he didn't slow down.

Abruptly he stopped, pulling out of her. He panted, moving down her body to kiss her, trying to quell his intense desire to come. Jackie made a noise of irritation. She lifted her head from the pillow, her voice quavering. "Come back!"

He drove his tongue inside her, setting off another shattering moan that was music to his ears. She was quite an instrument to play, so finely tuned, and if he touched her right, she made the most glorious sounds; raw, intense, absolutely delicious noises of pleasure as he plundered her with his tongue. She grabbed his hair, yanking and pulling him closer. He thrust one finger inside her, crooking it and hitting her in the spot that turned her breathy moans into cries of her orgasm. She shuddered against him, her legs quaking, and when he finally slowed to look up at her, he saw her hair was a wild tumble, and her face was glowing.

She was still quaking when he slid back inside her, holding himself up over her so he could watch her face. And this time he didn't slow, using her body for his pleasure. She kept her dark eyes set on him, her breasts a circular pendulum as his pelvis rocked into her. Her nails raked his back, gripping at his hips, and leaving long red trails over his skin.

He gasped as he came, shuddering over her form. She was staring up at him, holding eye contact as he orgasmed, and Steven let lose the breath he had been holding, puffing as his high rolled across his shoulders.

When he pushed his fingers through her hair, her eyes drifted closed, her chin angling to meet his palm. He cupped her face, marveling at her.

"Jackie," Steven whispered.

She answered him with her eyes, her hand coming up to cup the one on her face. She kissed the pads of his fingers, fat kisses that left a shine of saliva on his skin.

Steven bent his head, pressing his forehead to hers. Their breath was bitter with the beer they had drunk at the party, their skin flush and sweaty. Jackie's legs wrapped about his hips and Steven collapsed fully into her arms, tucking his head under her chin. She smelt earthy and primal. Jackie wrapped him into her arms, enfolding him in her embrace.

"I love you, Jackie," Steven whispered as he slid out of her, readjusting his position on top of her. She gripped him tighter, her hands stilling on him.

"Steven. Look at me."

Steven brought his face to meet hers. Her eyes were searching him, a deep furrow between her brows.

"I know, alright?" Steven said. "I know what you and Forman were talking about."

Jackie's chest rose and fell rapidly. Her face fell somewhat slack, her eyes questioning.

"I love you," Steven said again.

Maybe it was because he was drunk. Maybe he was some kind of drug the government had slipped into the water causing him to spill this out to her. Whatever it was, he found he couldn't stop. He kissed her, caressed her. He held her tightly in his arms and breathed deeply the scent of her skin, her hair. When she began to softly cry, he kissed her tears and her eyes, repeating the slow mantra he had started. _I love you, I love you, I love you._

He held her till she fell asleep, their sweaty skin stuck together wherever they touched. She had hooked her leg over his hip, and Steven held onto her thigh, his thumb stroking her skin.

Forman was right; he had to figure out what it was he really wanted.

And the more he thought of it, the more he knew.

What he really wanted, was Jackie.

 **Hey guys. Please drop a line. I also accept anonymous reviews. You are all amazing.**


	9. Chapter 9

**The Seeker**

Jackie ran the comb through her hair distractedly. A knot was at the base of her skull and she gasped, a sharp intake of breath, in pain as the comb's teeth caught in the tangle. Her arms fell to her side, the comb stuck in her curls.

"Dammit," Jackie muttered. She worked the comb out of her hair, dropping it into the sink. With her fingers, she gently began to work out the knot. Frustration gripped her as she blindly groped at the back of her head. She felt out of sorts. Her head hurt, and her stomach rolled with each movement of her feet.

This is what she got for partying with Steven, drinking at the same rate and pace as he did, as if she had as much experience doing so. Already she had thrown up twice, a slow affair of bile and sour beer that left a bitter taste on her tongue even after she had brushed. Her rib cage ached, her intercostal muscles protesting the effort of supporting her arms over her head.

Picking up the comb, she worked it through her hair, catching the last snags of the tangle at the back of her head, and smoothing the strands. Her eyes caught her reflection, and she groaned.

Dark circles ringed her eyes, deep purple bags no amount of concealer would be completely able to cover. A pimple was forming on her chin. Its large, ugly, white head taunted her. Her hair was a puffy halo, the curls she had tamed into submission the previous afternoon, wild and full of frizz. Vaguely, she remembered a moment where she had tripped while leaving the party, falling face first into a drift of snow. That would explain why her clothes were in a soaking pile at the bottom of her bathtub.

Jackie set the comb on the counter, pulling her hair back into a smooth ponytail. She washed her face, scrubbing the washcloth over her cheeks and chin. Her skincare routine had lacked the past couple of days, and she berated herself. Self-care was her top priority. How else was she to stay the hottest girl in Point Place if she let her discipline slack? Shuffling back into her bedroom, Jackie willed her stomach to calm down. She was supposed to be the one with the athletic talent, not her stomach.

Steven was sprawled across her mattress, snoring softly. His arms stretched to his side, his hands dangled off either side of the mattress. The bed sheets were tangled about his legs and he snored softly, drooling onto her pillow. His hair was tangled, and full of body, perfect ringlets that curled over his forehead and ears. It made Jackie sick to see it.

"Hey," Jackie said, prodding his shoulder with her pointer finger. Steven's mouth puckered like a child's. "Hey, wake up."

"Hnnnnmph," Steven grumbled, picking up his head and turning to face away from her. "Hnnph!"

"Steven," Jackie said, her voice hard with her hangover. She desperately wanted to lie down and sleep for a couple of days. Her mouth was dry, the feeling of cotton coating her gingiva. It was unfair that she would have to suffer, while Steven got to recover in blissful slumber. Jackie's hip cocked, her arms briefly crossing over her chest.

She continued to poke and prod him, pulling at his hair interminably. With each disturbance, his look of peace morphed into a scowl. Jackie was positively fuming by the time Steven's head jerked back around, his eyes narrowed at her.

"What." He said, his hands coming up to curl under his body.

"It's morning." Jackie stated.

"And?"

" _And_ , Red's probably wondering why you never came home last night," Jackie said. She enjoyed the way his eyes slowly drifted closed, the way he took a sharp inhale.

"Fuck," Steven whispered, pushing himself over to lie on his back. His hands rose to cover his eyes, the heels of his hands pressing into his eye sockets. "What time is it?"

Jackie looked to the small clock on her nightstand. "Eight twenty-two."

Steven's hands fell to the bed.

Pulling her robe tighter around her body, Jackie shifted back as Steven sat up on the bed, the sheet pooling in his lap. She touched his bare chest, running her fingers over a love bite on his chest. His hand reached up and covered her own, squeezing her fingers briefly.

"Alright, alright," Steven groaned, pushing the covers off his legs and standing. He stretched like a cat, his arms high over his head.

Jackie fell into the bed, relishing the warmth his body had left on the sheets and pillow. She watched him dress, her eyes the only thing moving. Pulling the covers up to her chin, she stared up at him through her lashes. "Think Red will be mad?"

"Is Red ever not mad?" Steven asked, giving her a smirk. He fastened his belt, reaching for his shirt mixed in the pile of their clothes on the floor. "I don't know, Pumpkin', he may not even know I wasn't there. This whole thing with Forman has been great for me."

"True," Jackie agreed, pulling her knees up to her chest under the covers. Her toes felt like icicles, and she rubbed the frozen blocks of her feet together, hoping friction would dispel heat more quickly. "Want to hang out later?"

"Sure," Steven said, grabbing his shoes. He sank to sit beside her on the bed, shoving his feet into the boots. "Movies? I think _Invasion of the Body Snatchers_ is still playing."

"Bleh," Jackie said. "I didn't like that movie, it gave me nightmares."

Steven's eyebrows rose and fell. He stood, shaking out his legs so his jeans settled smoothly over his boots. "Right, yeah." Steven couldn't have forgotten that so easily. Jackie had made him spend the week after they had watched the film on the phone to help her fall asleep. It had brought her comfort to listen to his steady breathing down the line, imagining he was there beside her.

Steven stood from the bed, bending over her. He nuzzled her neck, kissing her skin. "You know, we don't have to _watch_ the movie…"

Jackie's stomach turned. "As amazing as that sounds, Puddin', I don't really want to yak all over you."

Steven pulled back. "Understood."

Steven grabbed his jacket from the back of her desk chair. He moseyed over to her radio, flipping it on. Music softly filled the room.

Jackie smiled, a warm feeling spreading over her chest. "Thanks, Puddin'."

"Anything for you, doll," Steven said.

Steven slipped his jacket over his arms, digging in the pocket of his jeans for his keys.

"Oh," Jackie said, sitting up slightly. Immediately a wave of nausea washed over her and she had to close her eyes and breath deeply for a couple moments.

"You alright?" Steven asked, laughter filling his voice.

Jackie glared at him in response. She propped herself on an elbow. "I was going to remind you about Thanksgiving."

"What 'bout Thanksgiving?" Steven said, flipping the ring of keys around his middle finger.

"You promised you'd spend it with me," Jackie said, her eyes wide and innocent.

"Oh," Steven muttered. He bit his lower lip. "Well, WB invited us up to Milwaukee to spend it with him and Angie."

Anger flared briefly in Jackie's stomach. "What about my family? You promised, Steven."

"I know," Steven shot back, his eyes narrowed. "I'd just forgot, is all. But after dinner here, we can go to Milwaukee. I didn't think you'd want to spend the whole night with your ma."

Jackie lay back on the pillows. "True. Grandma and Grandpa Burkhart are coming, and there's sure to be an argument. Grandma Burkhart thinks Daddy stooped low marrying Mom."

"It'll be just like home," Steven said. He shuffled across the room, bending to press a kiss to Jackie's cheek. "I gotta go, Doll. I love you."

A smile bloomed over Jackie's mouth. She grabbed the lapels of his coat, yanking him down to kiss his mouth. She smiled for a long time after Steven left, clutching the covers to her body.

See, Eric was wrong. Steven wasn't afraid to love her. She wasn't pushing him away. If she were, he wouldn't have told her, as many times as he had that he loved her. Jackie settled onto the mattress, breathing deep the lingering scent Steven had left on the sheets. One day, they'd be married and everything would be perfect. More perfect. One day, she'd be Mrs. Jacqueline Burkhart-Hyde.

Jackie beamed up at the ceiling, giggling. Despite her hangover, she felt light. Like she could float up into Heaven, her life was perfect.

-x-

Mrs. Forman pulled the turkey from the oven, using the heel of her foot to close the oven door. It slammed closed, rattling the pots on the stoves burners. She slid the turkey onto the counter, shoving aside a tureen of mashed potatoes. Mrs. Forman hissed, watching as the mashed potatoes inched closer and closer to the lip of the sink.

"Need any help?" Steven asked, standing from the bar stool. He came around the counter, moving the tureen to a more stable location.

"Oh, you're so sweet," Mrs. Forman said, laughing. She patted Steven's arm. "No, sweetie, I'm almost done."

Steven returned to his seat, spinning his can of beer on the counter. A row of pies sat beside him, a collection of pecan and apple. "You sure are making a lot of food, Mrs. F."

Kitty wiped at her brow. She peered around the kitchen. Every available space was occupied. The bar with its assortment of deserts, the counter space with its turkey and potatoes. The breakfast table had been taken over by a ham, green bean casserole, and hot crescent rolls.

"Oh, well," Kitty said, resting her hands on her hips. "You never know who's going to show up!"

"Yeah," Steven said, quirking an eyebrow.

Kitty began to whisk cornstarch into a glass of water. She poured the mixture slowly into a saucepan on the stove, stirring the gravy into an even thickness.

"How long will you be at Jackie's?" Kitty asked. She glanced at him over her shoulder. "You'll be back in time for dessert, right?"

Steven bit the inside of his cheek, a wave of guilt clenching at his stomach. His fingers tightened around his can of beer. "Oh, well, WB invited me and Jackie to his place. For a late Thanksgiving dinner."

"How nice," Mrs. Forman said, her tone indicating that she didn't find it nice at all.

Steven took a swig of beer. "I'm sorry, Mrs. F."

"Oh, honey," Kitty said despairingly. Her face had grown slack, and she wiped at her brow again. "It's alright. It'll just be a smaller party is all. Mom is with Paula in Cincinnati, and who knows where Laurie is." Kitty tore open a bag of marshmallows, dumping them over a layer of creamed sweet potatoes. "It's not like family is important or anything."

Red entered the kitchen, his eyes narrowing as he took in the tense kitchen. "Everything ok in here?"

"Perfect," Kitty said, smoothing the marshmallows into neat rows. "Everything is just _freaking perfect_."

"Eric's cancelled his plans, so he'll be here," Red said. He pulled a beer from the fridge, pulling off the tab. "That's good news right?"

"Oh, yeah, perfect," Kitty muttered, opening the oven door and shoving in the sweet potato casserole. "I'm so happy that our _son_ had to be forced to come to a _family_ dinner."

Red shared a look with Steven. "Alright, then."

Steven glanced at his watch, finishing the last of his beer. "Sorry to run, Mrs. Forman, but I gotta go. I'm already late to the Burkhart's. Jackie's probably having a conniption."

Kitty turned to him. "Take a pie, Steven, it's rude to show up empty handed."

"Cool, thanks," Steven said, selecting one of the pecan pies. He came around the counter, wrapping Mrs. Forman in a one-armed hug. "Sorry I won't be here. Everything smells great, Mrs. F."

Mrs. Forman's arms tightened around Steven and she clung to him with a vice grip. "It's ok, sweetheart, I know where you'd rather be. At home."

Steven kissed the top of her head and Mrs. Forman beamed, holding him at arms length. "You're such a sweet man. I'm so very thankful for you, Steven."

"Yeah, you too," Steven muttered, uncomfortable.

"You're just like a son to me, Steven." Kitty pulled away, releasing Steven from her grasp. She wiped at her cheek, smoothing an escaped tear off her skin. She laughed awkwardly, shuffling Steven towards the door. "Have a good time!" Kitty said as Steven grabbed his pie and opened the sliding door. "Although, with that primped tart, I don't see how you could. What with her legs up to there, and walking around with no panty hose. I don't know who she thinks she is-"

Steven closed the door on Kitty's ramblings. He sank into the Camino, settling the pie on the passenger seat next to a pilfered bottle of tequila. He had planned on giving the tequila to Mrs. Burkhart, but now that he had the pie, the tequila would be for he and Jackie.

God knew they'd need something to ease the headache that was her family.

-x-

Jackie gripped her wine glass tighter. She had already had three small glasses, and warmth had spread through her arms and legs. Tension had settled over her face and shoulders, and she worked to keep her face smooth, Zen, fighting any future wrinkles.

Steven shifted on his feet beside her. He took a long swig of scotch, his eyeball ring clinking against the crystal. She had forced him to remove his sunglasses before coming into the house, and she saw the longing for them in his unshielded eyes.

"So, what is it that you do, young man?" Grandpa Burkhart asked. He had ensconced himself in her fathers favorite wing-backed chair in front of the fireplace. Grandpa Burkhart brought his cigar to his lips, puffing on the end. Rings of smoke lifted in front of his face, clouding the room. "Are you at college?"

"Oh, ugh," Steven said. He cleared his throat, gesturing with his free hand. "Actually, no, I'm not in school."

Grandma Burkhart took a small gasp. "Well, surely you have a job?" Grandma Burkhart turned to Nana Gertrude. "I don't understand young people these days, living off of the government. Not having any pride in working hard and making a living."

"I have a job," Steven said.

Jackie squeezed his arm.

"I just don't understand!" Grandma Burkhart said, ignoring Steven's declaration.

"It's all the drugs in society nowadays," Nana Gertrude said, taking a sip of wine. She waved her hand, the bracelets on her wrist clattering together. "Back in my day, there was none of these _dope fiends_ and _communes._ "

"I have a job," Steven repeated, his voice hard. He took another gulp of scotch, briefly looking at Jackie.

She gave him a terse look, her lips massaging together. Fleetingly, she had tried to warn him without scaring him off, what her family was like. And he had nodded his head, proclaiming _I know families, mine was the worst around._

Jackie knew he was taking that back now. He had denied the first drink, but happily accepted the second. Now on his fourth, a blush had crept over his cheeks and his body radiated warmth from beside her.

"Steven is very successful, Grandpa Burkhart," Jackie said, her loud tones covering those of her grandmothers. "His father owns a chain of record stores, and Steven manages the newest one here in Point Place."

"Record stores, huh," Grandpa Burkhart said from behind a cloud of gray smoke.

"Yes, sir," Steven said. He polished off the last of his drink. "Record stores. Music. Vinyl. Black, round discs that play songs."

Jackie pinched the underside of Steven's bicep.

Pam entered the formal living room, smiling around at her guests. She had worn a top that Jackie thought suited for a much younger woman. Or a slut.

"How is everyone?" Pam cooed, coming to stand by Steven's other side. "Martina said that dinner should be ready soon. Hors d'oeuvres are ready and will be brought out in just a moment."

"Oh, sweetheart," Nana Gertrude said. She stood from the couch, shash-shaying around the coffee table. "You have done a wonderful job with everything, so chic."

"Yes," Grandma Burkhart said, quietly. She picked at the couch's armrest, her nose upturned. "Such lovely color schemes."

Pam's smile became hard. She puffed out her chest, turning just slightly towards Steven.

Jackie's eyes narrowed. Pam's low-cut blouse dipped to her sternum. And Steven was looking straight down her top. He glanced at Pam's pert nipples, and brought his empty glass to his mouth. Steven sipped at the glass, bringing it away in surprise when he noticed it was unfilled.

Jealousy blossomed in Jackie's stomach, fingering its way up her chest and into her heart. She released Steven's arm, stepping pointedly away.

"What?" Steven asked, honestly surprised. He motioned to her nearly empty glass. "Can I get you another?"

"Oh, Steven," Pam said, shifting so half of her breast was exposed. She swept her hair back from her shoulders. "You are such a gentleman. Would you get me one, too?"

Jackie watched Steven's eyes sweep over her mothers form again. She tipped back her glass, gulping the last swallow. Heat spread over the back of her tongue and she felt her teeth clench together.

Steven turned back to Jackie, unbothered. He reached for Jackie's glass, his eyes meeting hers when she yanked back and away from him. "No, don't bother."

"O-kay," Steven said slowly. He pivoted on his heel, moving over to the wet bar to refill his and Pam's glasses.

Martina entered the room silently, carrying two trays of hors d'oeuvres. She set them on the coffee table, disappearing momentarily and returning with a stack of plates and napkins. Jackie sat on the couch next to Grandma Burkhart. Reaching forward, she piled her plate with spinach puffs, leaning back to begin stuffing them one by one into her mouth.

"You know, dear," Grandma Burkhart said, leaning towards her. "If you continue to eat like that, you'll get fat. Boys won't love you when you're fat."

The food stuck in her throat. Jackie worked to swallow, glaring over at Steven. She sucked food from between her teeth, rubbing the butter from the puffs over her fingers.

Grandma Burkhart patted Jackie's thigh, hissing sharply between her teeth. "Oh, dear," Her fingers gripped over Jackie's skirt. "You know what they say, if it jiggles, it's fat." She jiggled Jackie's thigh, her eyebrows rising high on her smooth forehead as Jackie stared in horror.

-x-

Jackie unfolded her napkin, laying it across her thigh. She watched Steven mimic the motion and she sighed pointedly, rolling her eyes away. Figures she would fall in love with a poor man, who stared openly at her mother's breasts, and had no table manners.

Steven leaned towards her to whisper in her ear, his palm wrapping over her thigh. "What's up with you?"

"Nothing," Jackie said, puckering her mouth. She reached for her newly filled wine glass. Grandma Burkhart's pointed display of how fat her thighs had become raced through her mind and she shoved away Steven's touch. "Nothing at all."

"Jackie," Steven said, pausing to glance at Grandpa Burkhart as he stood at the head of the table. "Seriously, what's up? You've been giving me the cold shoulder for an hour."

"I'm sure you'll figure it out, Steven," Jackie said. "You are so smart, right?"

Steven's eyes narrowed. "Just tell-"

"If everyone would stop talking, I'll say the prayer," Grandpa Burkhart said, clasping his hands before him. "Ahem!"

Steven sat straight in his chair, bowing his head with everyone else, but keeping his eyes open. He chewed on his lip, his hands clenched together. Jackie found herself watching him surreptitiously out of the corner of her eye, that green thumb of jealousy still flaring in her chest. How could he have stared at her mother like that? With such little regard to Jackie's own feelings. He knew. He knew how insecure Pam had made her feel. He knew that Jackie found the competition between her mothers love and her mother's vanity had given her a complex so deep, it would take years to get over.

"Dear Lord, baby Jesus," Grandpa Burkhart began.

"Oh, god," Steven muttered, just loud enough for Jackie to hear. She slapped the back of her hand against his thigh, squeezing her eyes shut.

"We thank you for this bountiful feast before us," Grandpa Burkhart continued, spreading his hands. "And we thank you for all of our family gathered here at this table. Although we don't see each other enough-"

Grandma Burkhart cleared her throat pointedly, her dark eyes focused on Pam.

"We are grateful for the times we do have together," Grandpa Burkhart said. "And especially look out for my son, Jack, taken from us for these last three years, and keep him safe. Let the law find an error in their ways, for my son would never knowingly deceive anyone-"

Jackie looked up, along with the other table guests, to look at her Uncle Bobby. He had arrived just before dinner, stinking of cigarettes and liquor wafting off his mouth. Bobby was smirking, having just snorted. He noticed the delay in prayer and looked up from his plate. "Oh, so sorry. Tickle in my throat. Please, continue."

"Ahem," Grandpa Burkhart said, staring at his youngest son. His clasped fingers were turning white as he increased his hold. "And dear, sweet baby Jesus, we also ask that you help those that can't seem to help themselves. Except to married women, and a life of alcohol and disappointing their fathers."

Silence fell over the table. Grandpa Burkhart reached for the carving knife, ignoring the glare from his son at the end of the table.

"Wow!" Pam exclaimed. She reached for a bowl of green bean casserole, helping herself. "Doesn't everything just look perfect? Like a Norman Rockwell painting. Oh, we should get Martina to take our picture."

"Mm, yes," Uncle Bobby said. He took the bowl of casserole from Pam, flinging a spoonful onto his plate. "Isn't it just grand to be the butt of everyone's joke? Just like Rockwell painted."

Steven caught Jackie's eye, his own full of bright mirth. Jackie felt her chest tighten with embarrassment.

"Oh, Bobby, you're not the butt of everyone's jokes," Grandma Burkhart said, placing a comforting hand on her sons arm.

"No, just mine," Grandpa Burkhart said, He turned to Nana Gertrude. "White or dark?"

"Oh, dark, please," Nana Gertrude said, smiling. Her lit cigarette perched between her pointer and middle fingers dripped ash onto the lace table runner.

"This is so great," Steven said, reaching for the mashed potatoes. He and Bobby shared a look. "Reminds me of home."

"Are you from Point Place, Steven?" Pam asked. She smiled at him, passing the basket of rolls to Bobby.

Jackie took the mashed potatoes from Steven, her large eyes rounded. Her foot kicked out, making contact with the leg of Steven's chair. Jackie hissed with pain, her pinky toe smarting.

"Yes, Mrs. Burkhart," Steven said, fixing Jackie with a questioning look. "Born and raised."

"Oh, so you must know the Cannons? Burt and April Cannon, wonderful people. And their daughter, Leslie," Grandma Burkhart said. "I'm sure you're parents hosted them at parties."

"I don't think so," Steven said nonchalantly. "But I do know Leslie, yeah."

"How do you know Leslie?" Jackie asked, her jealousy peaking.

"Well, then surely the Johnson's?" Grandma Burkhart persisted, asking her question before Steven could answer Jackie's.

Jackie cleared her throat. She knew what her grandmother was doing, prying into Steven's life to see if he was suitable. Jackie shoved mashed potatoes around her plate. "You know, Grandma, Steven's family isn't native to Point Place. They only moved here right before Steven was born."

"Ah, I see," Grandma Burkhart said. Her tone was full of derision, and she pursed her mouth, her nose rising slightly.

Nana Gertrude piped up. "I think travel is just wonderful, don't all of you?"

"You know what I think is wonderful?" Bobby said, leaning over his plate, his elbows resting heavily on the table. "A family that's not insane."

"I remember the last trip that me and my precious Donny Bear took together," Nana Gertrude said, setting down her fork. She waved her cigarette hand, spilling ash onto Steven's sleeve. "Oh, it was just so gorgeous."

"It helps to not be insane when your children don't live to drive you crazy," Grandpa Burkhart said.

Steven smiled at everyone around the table, a large scoop of potatoes on his fork.

Jackie wished the floor would open up and swallow her whole.

"The Wisconsin Dells," Nana Gertrude continued. "It seems kitsch at first, what with the foreign help who doesn't speak English, and the water skiing show, but they have excellent room service. And let me tell you, Donny and I were not much for leaving our room that weekend."

"Oh, Nana Gertrude," Jackie exclaimed, leaning forward over her plate to see around Steven. "No one needs, or wants, to know that."

Pam grasped Jackie's shoulder pushing her upright. "Ladies sit like ladies at the table, Jacqueline."

"If your mother had taught you proper manners, she wouldn't need to correct you in front of company, Jacqueline," Grandma Burkhart interjected, her eyes on Pam. "Which is also rude, and a complete lack of decorum."

"Well, it's hard to raise a child when you're constantly berated by an evil hag, Rosalie," Pam mumbled, smiling demurely at her mother-in-law.

"Man, I haven't seen this kind of chaos in years, Jackie," Steven said. He smiled broadly at her; his eyes alight with mischief and delight. Jackie had seen the look in his eyes many a time, when he was making fun of someone, or about to unleash a wicked burn on Michael. "Feels just like the last Thanksgiving I spent with my ma."

"Where is your mother, Steven?" Pam asked. Two twin pricks of color sat high on her bronzed cheekbones. "Will you be seeing her after dinner here?"

"It's not dinner, it's lunch," Grandma Burkhart said. "We're eating at two."

"Uhm," Steven said, looking between the two women. "Well, no, Mrs. Burkhart, I won't be seeing my ma."

"Oh?" Pam continued, her knife scraping against the porcelain plate. "Are you two not close?"

Jackie dropped her fork to her plate, food mostly untouched. "No, mom, they aren't close."

"Well isn't that a shame," Nana Gertrude said. "When mothers and their children don't get along. Why, Pamela's sister Florence hasn't spoken to me in years. Over some tiny indiscretion!"

"What's that?" Grandpa Burkhart asked, sitting back in his chair and sipping his scotch.

Nana Gertrude stubbed out her cigarette, lighting a new one. "Oh, I slept with her husband."

"Mother," Pam hissed.

"He came on to me, dear," Nana Gertrude defended. She puffed her hair, taking a long drag on her cigarette. "The beautiful can't help that. You've never had to understand that, Pamela."

Silence finally fell over the table. Steven polished off the last of his scotch, setting the empty glass down on the table with a smack of his lips. All eyes turned to him, and he stared back, unbothered.

Jackie pushed back her chair, tossing her napkin onto the chair. "Please excuse me."

She had just barely made it to the small powder room off the small den before she felt the tears begin to fall. They cascaded over her cheeks unbidden. Her chest felt tight, and she struggled to draw a breath, gasping deeply.

Jackie stared at her reflection in the mirror over the sink. Now, she wished they had gone to the Forman's for Thanksgiving, like Steven wanted. There, they wouldn't have to endure Jackie's dysfunctional family. She wiped angrily at her cheeks, rubbing her skin red. What must he think of her? He must be thinking of a million ways to get out of here, away from these people, and away from her. She wouldn't blame him for that.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid," Jackie muttered. She grabbed a handful of tissues, wiping her runny mascara off her skin.

Her body had been going through spirals, up and down, happy then sad. She couldn't explain it, nor could she predict the swings in temperament. Maybe it had to do with her monthly visitor, or maybe she was losing it.

Either way, she was sick of it.

Burkhart's didn't act like fools. Especially not Jackie. She had been voted head cheerleader by the largest margin in Point Place cheerleader history. She had the best legs, and a rocking body. The University of Wisconsin had already guaranteed her a spot after she graduated from high school, and Steven had a good job that would provide them with a happy, rich future.

Shaking her hair back over her shoulders, Jackie let her eyes drift closed. She took a couple of deep steadying breaths.

"You are amazing." Jackie chanted. "You are beautiful, girls wish they looked half as good as you."

Slowly, her eyes opened and she stared at her reflection. The more she stared, the more she convinced herself she liked what she saw. Her almond shaped eyes had a glossy sheen from her tears. Her lips were red from suppressing the outburst of anger that was welling up her throat.

She could have easily passed for Snow White, she thought, turning her head this way, and that. Fluffing her hair, she straightened her skirt, turning on the heel of her boot to open the bathroom door.

"Oh!" Jackie cried, stepping back. Steven's hand was raised, as if to knock on the door, and he paused, surprised.

"You alright?" Steven asked, stuffing his hands into his jeans pockets.

Jackie nodded. "Why wouldn't I be?"

Steven's eyebrows drew together. "Well… You've been acting like I've pissed you off most of the day. And then you jut got up and left dinner."

"Haven't you heard?" Jackie asked, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "It's lunch, cause we're eating at two."

"Whatever," Steven mumbled. He shifted his weight, blocking her exit. "Look, what's up?"

"Nothing, Steven," Jackie said, crossing her arms over her chest. "Can I leave the bathroom now?"

Steven sighed. "I was coming to see if you were ready to head out to Milwaukee. Martina is serving dessert. If we leave now, we'll make it just in time to eat with WB and Angie."

"That's cool," Jackie said. Steven's eyes narrowed at her.

"Alright then," Steven said slowly, his voice full of suspicion. "I'll go get our coats than."

"Whatever," Jackie breezed past Steven back out to the formal dinning room. Martina had cleared the plates, arranging a variety of desserts on the serving board.

Pam swirled her wine, glancing up at Jackie. She quickly looked back. "Jacqueline, I think you need to go upstairs and fix your powder."

"I will," Jackie said. She perched on the edge of her seat. "Steven and I are going to head out. Remember? I told you that we were going to Milwaukee to see his dad?"

"You did not," Pam said.

"Milwaukee?" Grandpa Burkhart said from the other end of the table. "What is in Milwaukee?"

"Steven's father."

"Milwaukee, though?" Grandpa Burkhart snorted. "Any business man of class would have his business in Chicago. When I started my company, no one would've dreamed of having the home base for the Midwest anywhere other than Chicago."

"Yes, and now look at you," Uncle Bobby said, accepting a plate from Martina. "Living in Milwaukee."

"I retired to Milwaukee," Grandpa Burkhart retorted. "What have you retired from? Sleeping with married women?"

"You keep throwing that in my face," Uncle Bobby exploded. "As if I should have known she was married."

"Now, boys," Grandma Burkhart said.

"I'm going to go fix my makeup," Jackie said, hurrying from the room before any one could object. Steven was at the top of the stairs, both of their jackets draped over his arm. He watched her run up the stairs, following her wordlessly back into her room.

Jackie closed the door behind them, skirting around Steven into her bathroom. She grabbed her makeup bag, pulling powder and mascara out of its contents.

"You wanna tell me now, what's up?" Steven asked, leaning against the doorjamb.

Jackie swiped the powder puff over her t-zone and cheeks. "I told you, Steven, nothing's wrong."

"Really?" Steven said, laughing derisively. "Cause I know that I'd be embarrassed as hell if that was my family."

"Well, it's not your family," Jackie volleyed. "It's mine. And I'm not embarrassed. No one's perfect, Steven."

Steven's hand came up to cup her forehead. He squinted at her, studying her eyes. "Ok, you really must not be feeling well."

"Stop it!" Jackie slapped his hand away. She opened the mascara tube, swiping the brush over her lashes.

"Whatever," Steven said, leaning against the doorjamb once again.

Jackie finished touching up her makeup, smoothing her hair. She spritzed perfume onto her wrists, dabbing them to her neck.

"You ready?" Jackie asked.

"Yeah, let's go," Steven said, holding out her coat.

-x-

Steven rested the underside of his wrist over the steering wheel, sighing with exhaustion. The digital clock on the radio glowed bluely at him, blinding him with the time: 12:36. The cabin of the El Camino was stuffy, cold cutting through the heat that blasted he and Jackie from the vents.

Jackie kicked her feet out, crossing her ankles. She sighed pulling at the opening to her coat, turning her head away from him in an effort to regain comfort. All night she had been distant and cold, acting petulant and sullen. On their way to Milwaukee, Steven had attempted to engage her in conversation. Usually all he had to do was get to the right subject, and then Jackie wouldn't shut up for the rest of the day. She was being elusive today, skirting his usual tactics and fixing him with glares colder than the snow drifts on the side of the road.

WB had pulled Steven aside after dessert, on the premise of making fresh drinks for the guests. Father led son down the hall into the kitchen, waving off the cook, Norma. WB pulled the decanter of whisky towards him, setting down his and Steven's glasses.

"So, what's been going on?" WB asked. "Did you and your sister get the store opened?"

"No, not yet," Steven said, fingering his glass. WB poured two fingers worth, pushing the glass across the counter. "We're going to stop back by after we leave here. Get everything out of the boxes, hang some posters."

WB nodded. He took a long pull from his glass. His lips worked over the liquid, and he stared down into the amber liquid. "What else has been going on?"

Steven paused, alert. He took a sip from his own glass, the whisky fire in the back of his throat. "What are you getting at, WB?"

"Look, son," WB said. "I know, I haven't always been there for you, and I wasn't there while you were growing up, but you're my son, and I care about you."

"Uh huh," Steven said, feeling his body stiffen.

WB shifted his weight, clearing his throat. He looked uncomfortable, and drank often from his glass. "This is much different than talking with your sister."

"I should think so," Steven replied. He desperately wanted to back away, escape back to the dining room where he knew what to expect: Jackie's burning glower. Talks with authority figures always left him with a clenching in his belly, a frantic need to run away, and maybe commit a misdemeanor along the way. His mother only talked to him when she was plastered, and even then, it was to berate him. Bud had been too drunk to ever act like a father, and the one time he had tried, Steven had bailed, moving back into the basement closet where the only thing he had to worry about were the spiders.

"Steven," WB started, finally looking up and making eye contact. "You seem out of sorts. Did something happen between you and Jackie?"

Steven polished off the last of his whisky, pushing the glass back towards WB across the counter. WB obliged, filling the glass halfway.

Steven sipped, than drank. He stopped when he felt a cough well up his throat, taking a few steadying breaths. "Everything's fine with me and Jackie."

"I used to say the same thing of Eunice and I," WB said. "Things were rarely ever ok. I said a lot of things I wish I hadn't, did a lot of things out of spite. Relationships are hard work, Steven."

"Don't have to tell me," Steven muttered. His tongue had loosened and he took a quick sip.

"They're not always fun, the other person gets hurt, but the point to making it work is just that. Putting in work," WB said.

Steven felt his eyes roll. "Yeah, I know."

WB nodded, feeling he was losing Steven with the conversation. "Hey, now, look. You're a smart man."

Steven waited, looking up at his father. His stomach dipped, anxiety gripping his esophagus.

"I know you love her," WB said. "Don't let pride get the better of you."

"I just, I don't want to ruin her life," Steven said. "I don't want to make this huge commitment to her, and then it all goes to shit and we're two strangers who hate each other, like our parents."

"Then talk to her," WB said. "I know, it's easier to keep everything bottled up. It's harder to get hurt that way."

"Yeah," Steven said. He chewed his lip, his eyes unfocused.

WB clapped a hand on Steven's shoulder. "You'll figure it out, son."

"Yeah," Steven repeated.

Passing headlights briefly lit up the car, a steady metronome of yellow glares that brought Steven back to the present. Jackie had been scarily still. She stared straight ahead out the windshield, her arms wrapped tightly about her middle. Steven reached towards her. He shoved his hand under her arm, pushing against her as she tightened her hold on herself.

"Will you please tell me what's wrong?" Steven asked, his voice loud in the quiet cab. "This silence is driving me insane, Jackie."

Jackie sighed. "Why did you do it?"

Steven looked at her. "Do what?"

"You don't know?" Jackie asked, her voice hardening.

"Jackie, if I knew, we wouldn't be talking like this," Steven said, signaling his lane change. "I'd be apologizing or whatever, and we'd be fine."

Jackie scoffed. "Whatever."

"Dammit, Jackie," Steven said, taking the exit for Point Place. He decelerated as he neared the towns limits. "For fucks sake, just tell me."

"You stared at my mothers breasts, Steven!" Jackie burst. Angry tears coated her cheeks and Steven felt like he had been punched in the gut.

"I did not!" Steven protested. He thought back over the day, trying to remember the indiscretion for which he was accused.

"Yes, Steven, you did!" Jackie said, pulling out of his grasp. She turned her body on the seat so she could stare at him. "You stared right at her chest, ogling her like some kind of peep show! I'm surprised you didn't pull out a stack of ones right then and there."

"Jackie, what the hell?" Steven's voice had increased in volume. "I didn't stare at your mother!"

"You did too!" Jackie screeched. She was crying in earnest now. "You know how I feel about her, you know how she's hurt me! How could you do it?"

And then it hit him. He sighed, propping his elbow on the door panel. Pam had worn a blouse with a plunging neckline, showing off her rack. A rack he had previously seen bare with pert nipples. Jackie had been upset after she found out he had seen her mother topless, angry that he hadn't told her. She had told him all her insecurities, the way she had feared Pam had seduced Michael. Michael had a Mrs. Robinson fantasy, and Pam was vulnerable enough to act on it. Steven had stared at her chest tonight, his mind briefly recreating the way she had popped back up, ponytail swinging across her shoulders, and her breasts peaking in the cool air.

"Jackie, I'm sorry, ok?" Steven said, slowing down as they passed through downtown towards her neighborhood. He gripped the steering wheel, his other hand propped on the windowsill rubbing at his chin. "You're right, and I'm sorry."

Jackie pouted, flinging her body around to sit properly in her seat. "Just take me home, Steven."

Steven pulled into The Hub's parking lot, the Camino's tires squealing as he stopped suddenly. Jackie reached out, bracing herself against the dash. She stared at him in surprise, her tears dried on her cheeks.

"No," Steven said, throwing the Camino in park and pulling the emergency brake. "We're gonna fix this. I'm sick of this. I spent all damn day wondering what the fuck I did wrong. You should've just told me instead of acting like a sulky child all day."

Steven turned off the headlights, the glow from the dash the only thing brightening their faces. He turned towards her, his jeans rubbing against the leather seat.

"I told you I'm sorry, Jackie, and I am," Steven said. "But this is getting old. This punishing me thing."

"I don't punish you," Jackie said defensively.

"Yes, you do," Steven countered. "You punish me all the time. For stupid shit. I apologized. Now either forgive me, or get over it."

Jackie's eyes tightened. "Good for you, you apologized. That doesn't change the fact that you still did it."

"I can't take it back, Jackie!" Steven yelled at her, briefly relishing in the way she recoiled from him. The warmth of the booze he had drunk all day coated his bloodstream. Once he started, he found he couldn't stop yelling at her. "I can't take it back, and I can't change it, and I don't know what the fuck to do about it! You gonna make me feel like a dick for a week, till you decide that you've had enough of your game? You gonna ignore me? Make me come to you on bended knee with whatever stupid fucking apology fantasy you cook up in your head?"

Tears were flowing steadily. Jackie was pressed against the door, her eyes round and wide. Her voice was a whisper, and she looked genuinely hurt, a small woman drowning in the sudden abyss that had opened between them. "I don't do that."

"Oh, fuck this shit," Steven yelled, fumbling with the door. He slammed it closed, his fists clenched at his side.

Cold air pierced his coat, and he took a few steadying gulps. He was livid. Laughter reached him from The Hub and he paced that length of the Camino, back and forth. Anger at his outburst, anger at her reaction, anger at the whole day surged through him and just as suddenly as it took over him it dissipated.

Leaning against the fender, he pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes. Wind buffeted him, and he shivered violently. The door handle was freezing on his fingertips and he fell shamefully into the drivers seat.

Jackie had hidden her face in her hands, her shoulders shaking with silent sobs. She looked up at his entrance, dark, wet rings of mascara around her eyes. Exhaustion radiated off of her, and Steven slid closer. He had never lost it this way to her, and regret was a sick bastard. The pain that caked him was nearly, if not more, than the pain that he had felt after confessing his affair with the nurse. He was lower than the lowest scum of the earth. An amoeba on the scum of the lowest scum of the earth. He felt tears at the back of his eyes, stinging at his lids and he looked down at his lap, so she wouldn't see.

"I'm so sorry, Jackie," Steven whispered to his thighs.

"Loving you is exhausting, Steven," Jackie said, swallowing thickly. She laid her hand upon his cheek, her thumb sweeping over his bottom lip. Her breaths came in shallow gulps, her chest rising and falling rapidly. "This must be what drowning feels like."

 **-x-**

 **Well, my lovelies, it's heating up in here. Season 7 was fraught with angst, it's hard to not feed into that in parts of this story. But fellow Zennies, never fear! Hyde and Jackie should have ended up together, even Danny thinks so.**


	10. Chapter 10

**The Seeker**

Steven pulled at the neck of his sweater, his eyes furtively taking in his surroundings.

Christmas shoppers filled the mall, wrapped up in coats and scarves, and Steven longed for his own coat. He stared at it, clasped in Red's grasp, and scowled. Steven crossed his arms, trying in vain to hide the giant Rudolph knitted onto the front of his sweater Mrs. Forman had given for him to wear in this years Christmas card. He pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, glancing around. The heels of his boots were loud on the tiled floor and he felt his hands pulling at the bright red sweater.

He had almost, _almost_ , laughed in Mrs. Forman's face when she had presented the sweater to him this morning. But Mrs. Forman had been so proud, beaming at him, that he had swallowed down his retort, and accepted the sweater with a strained smile. Seeing Forman and Red, in matching, hand knit sweaters had made the whole ordeal slightly more bearable.

Red had confiscated Eric's and Steven's coats upon entering the Olan Mills Portrait Studio, ensuring that they wouldn't be able to run away. Steven had spent the past twenty minutes thinking of ways to burn Red in retaliation. A small scratch on the Corvette, or maybe cutting the cable right in the middle of the Packers game would be the perfect payback for this terrible, horrible day.

"Oh, isn't this just so exciting?" Kitty asked. She smoothed her own sweater, emblazoned with Mrs. Claus, and smiled around at her men. "I just love Christmas."

"Yeah, it's amazing," Steven muttered. He widened his stance, knees locking. "This line better go quick, I gotta get back to the store."

"Oh, hush, you'll be fine," Kitty said dismissively. She pulled his hands away from the hem of his sweater, patting his shoulder. "Angie can manage the store on her own for an hour or two."

"Yeah, I don't know, Mrs. Forman," Steven said, shaking his head. "She's not the brightest bulb on the strand."

"Ha, ha," Eric said, his own hands attempting to cover the Frosty the Snowman adorned over his chest. "Yeah, she's only been in Point Place for, what, a week? And she's already-"

Eric cut himself off, clearing his throat. His skinny fingers gripped his sweater.

"What?" Steven asked. An intense sense of protectiveness washed over him. The same as when Jackie was upset, or someone made a pass at Donna. "She's already what?"

"Man, are you serious?" Eric said, his green eyes fixed over Steven's head. He groaned, his head dropping back on his shoulders. "As if this day could get any worse."

Steven followed Eric's line of sight. A family of four had entered the Olan Mills Portrait Studio, milling around the entrance, and Steven suppressed a groan of his own as he registered who they were. Timmy Thompson, his little sister Nancy, and parents, all dressed in simple, but respectable Christmas attire. Timmy had the loudest mouth of anyone Steven had ever heard, spreading rumors, and yelling as his regular form of communication so everyone in Kenosha County could hear.

"Shit," Steven said, turning his back. Just what he needed, everyone at school to know that he had willingly worn this godforsaken sweater. "Mrs. Forman, how much longer?"

Kitty rounded on her boys. "I don't know, so, please, for the love of god, quit asking. It's not killing you to be here! We'll be done when we're done!"

Steven stalked off further into the store, hoping to get lost, or maybe strangled, in the rack of clothing hanging against the back wall. He busied himself with the feathered boas, and sequined shrugs, running the materials over his hands.

"Heyyyy! It's Forman!"

Steven looked over his shoulder.

Timmy had finally spotted Eric, and as usual, was yelling his pleasure, his pointer finger fixed on Eric's sweater.

"Oh, my god, Forman!" Timmy shouted, his eyes bright with mischief. "Look at your sweater!"

"Hush!" Mrs. Thompson said, thwacking Timmy up the back of his head. "Kitty, Red! How wonderful to see you!"

"Connie, you're looking…" Kitty started, her voice full of false bravado. Red looked on apathetically, hands deep in his pockets. The Santa Claus on his sweater didn't seem to bother him in the slightest, and he nodded a hello to Mr. Thompson, the men sharing a look that only married men could. Kitty motioned between the family. "Why, you all just look so snazzy!"

Connie Thompson smoothed her red velvet dress, placing a hand on Nancy's shoulder. "Oh, well, you know, I just like for us to look like a catalog family. One anyone would be proud to display the picture of."

Kitty's smile froze on her mouth. "Uh huh."

Steven rolled his eyes, glad that Timmy hadn't noticed him yet. Steven crossed his arms over his chest, kicking the heel of his boot on the floor. How he longed for this day to be over with.

"Forman?"

A plump saleslady called their name, and Steven pushed away from the rack of clothes, shuffling over to Red and Kitty. A winter forest landscape had been set up, with two fake Christmas trees set to either side. A wooden stool was set in the very center before the backdrop, and Mrs. Forman eagerly slid onto its seat.

"Ok, now, you sir," the saleslady grabbed Red's arm, tanking the coats from his grasp and depositing them on the ground, "you stand here." She positioned Red just behind Kitty, angling his hips to match her shoulders. "And place your hands on her shoulders. Great, yeah, that's perfect.

"Now, you," she grabbed Forman's wrist, yanking him into the shot. She framed Eric next to his mother, leaving a gap right in the middle. "Place one hand in your pocket. No, your other hand. Not all the way in your pocket, just casual, like you're talking with your friends."

"I don't know about you," Eric said, wriggling his hand out of his pocket slightly. "But I do not stand around talking to my friends this way."

"Shut it," Red said, his hands gripping Kitty's shoulders a bit more.

The saleslady ignored Eric's comment, used to hearing snide remarks. She took a couple of steps backward to her camera, fidgeting with the zoom to make sure they were still in frame.

"And last but not least!" Steven resisted as the saleslady pulled him forward. His heels dug into the carpet and he tripped over the excess fabric pooled on the floor from the backdrop. The saleslady placed him in the middle, her meaty hands lingering on his hips as she squared him off to the camera.

"All right, everyone, show time!" she called, racing around them to her camera. Bright lights shone down on them, and Steven was grateful for his sunglasses. Grateful that is until he was forced to remove them, holding them in his sweaty palm.

Timmy Thompson was laughing silently, pointing at Eric and Steven, while his sister Nancy stamped her foot, pinching at her big brothers side.

"Smiles!" the saleslady crooned from behind her camera. Her hands rose and her fingers counted down, "Three! Two! One! Cheeeeeeeese!"

"Cheeeeeeese!" Kitty repeated with what Steven could only imagine was the largest grin she could muster.

"Ok, young man in the back, I need you to smile," She popped up from behind the camera, her pointer fingers digging into the corners of her mouth. Her grin was comic, and Steven sneered in response, hooking his thumbs on his belt.

Red's elbow made contact with Steven's arm. "Smile, dumbass."

Steven gave a closed lipped smile, his chin tilted high and his eyes screaming his pain.

Nancy Thompson watched them from the sidelines, Timmy finally still. Her eyes bore holes at Eric, and she chewed her lower lip, the fingers of her right hand rubbing the fabric of her dress over and over. She swayed slightly on her feet, her eyes never blinking. Steven found himself staring at her, bothered by her complete lack of awareness.

"Ok, last one! Big smiles!"

Steven's cheeks hurt with the effort of holding his smile.

The saleslady rewound the film, removing it from the back of the camera. She sighed, her own smile forced as Mr. and Mrs. Forman approached her. "Your photos should be ready in three days."

"Oh, well, we had a package picked out," Kitty said, ignoring the look the saleslady gave her. They ambled off to the cash register, leaving Steven and Eric to themselves. Red had finally given them back their coats, and both boys slid them over their arms, covering their sweaters with twin sighs of relief.

"Wanna walk around?" Eric asked, edging towards the door. He was still oblivious to Nancy's stare, and Steven wasn't about to point it out to Eric. "I'll give Red the keys to the cruiser, I'll ride home with you."

"Yeah, man, sure," Steven said, zipping up his coat to hide Rudolph. "Jackie's working right now, I wanna stop by, and save the fight if I don't say hi."

Eric hurried off across the small store, skirting around Nancy and Timmy waiting beside their parents for their turn. Red took the keys from Eric, nodding his head. The older man briefly looked at Steven, nodding his head.

"Alright, let's blow this joint," Eric said, returning to Steven's side.

The two boys started towards the exit.

"Bye, Eric!" Nancy called, rising onto her toes. She blushed when Eric turned back towards her, a small, shy smile on her rosy lips.

"Bye," Eric called back uncertainly. He pursed his mouth, his hand rising and falling.

Steven led the way out into the bustling corridor. They turned right out of the store, heading towards the food court.

"That was weird," Eric remarked. He snapped a couple of closures on his coat, eyebrows furrowed in thought.

"What?" Steven asked. He sidestepped a mother chasing after a toddler, wrapped like a marshmallow in winter gear. He spotted Jackie behind the register at The Cheese Palace, but she was busy helping a customer, pointing out different cheeses. Steven hooked his thumbs in his pockets. "You wanna eat something? There's a Fatso Burger. Jackie said they found the finger the fry cook burned off."

"I only have, like," Eric said, patting his wallet in his back pocket, "four dollars. No, man, I meant Timmy's little sister."

Steven sighed. He turned away from The Cheese Palace. "Nancy?"

"Yeah, Nancy," Eric said. He followed Steven to the Fatso Burger line. "She's never really talked to me before. Well, she used to, when Timmy and I were both in the scouts, she'd talk to me all the time at meetings Mr. Thompson held for the troop. But then she just stopped. Man, now I find her just staring at me. In the halls, at lunch, whenever I have to go to the front office for a pass. It's weird."

"Yup," Steven said. He found his own eyes seeking out his chick, staring at her interminably as the line edged forward. "Girls are weird, man."

Eric grew suddenly quiet, staring up at the menu. He pursed his mouth, chewing on the insides of his cheeks. They ordered burgers and fries, moving off into the expansive food court to an empty table. Steven sat facing The Cheese Palace, finally catching Jackie's attention. She smiled softly at him, but didn't react any more than that. Ever since Thanksgiving, she had been slightly distant, if not overly polite to him. Their last fight had been hard on the both of them, and the guilt Steven had felt at his words still gripped his heart.

"I found her waiting outside the bathroom," Eric said, taking a sip of his soda.

"Who? Nancy?" Steven asked, forgetting fleetingly that Eric was sitting across from him. Steven unwrapped his burger, clearing his throat and taking a bite.

Squirting ketchup onto his tray, Eric nodded, grabbing some fries. "Yeah, I came out of the bathroom," Eric waved the fires, his eyebrows waggling, "and she was just… There! It was like she had been following me, or something. And then!" Eric jabbed the fries in Steven's direction. "She was there again! Right after Chemistry, just lurking in the hallway."

"Maybe she's got a thing for you, Forman," Steven said, taking another bite of his burger.

Eric ate his fries, his green eyes staring off around the food court. "Maybe."

Steven peered at his watch. "I gotta get out of here soon, Forman, make sure Angie hasn't burned down the store."

"Yeah, ok," Eric said, moving on to his burger. The two ate the rest of their food quickly, gathering their trash onto their trays. They tossed their garbage close to The Cheese Palace, Eric waiting by the fountain as Steven darted into the small store.

"Hey," Steven said, approaching Jackie. She was dusting a display shelf, standing on a small stepladder. Her legs were covered in gooseflesh, and Steven rubbed the palm of his hand over her calf.

"Steven, I'm working," Jackie said, shaking off his hand. Her brown eyes flitted to Todd, and then away again. "You can't feel me up while I'm working."

"Wasn't trying to feel you up," Steven said. "You look cold."

"Oh," Jackie said, coming down the ladder. "I hadn't realized. It's been so busy today. Everyone wants cheese platters for their Christmas parties, and I have three orders to finish after I get the rest of the new products faced."

"Is it just you and Todd?" Steven asked, noting the way Todd had kept his distance since Steven's entrance. The short blond man shot furtive glances at the pair.

"No, Dawn's here." Jackie said, motioning with her chin towards the back of the store. As if right on cue, another cheese maiden entered from the storage cooler, her arms laden with shrink-wrapped sausages.

Dawn brought the sausage over to Jackie, dumping the merchandise onto a small cart. She puckered her mouth, hands on her hips. "Here's the last of the new shipment. Phil said that he would be bringing another box tomorrow." Dawn looked around the store. "Though I have no idea where we'll put it all."

"I'll leave you to it," Steven said, taking a step back. "I gotta get to the store, see how Angie's doing."

"Ok," Jackie said, moving the stepladder down the shelving display. She placed her hands on her hips, turning to look to her boyfriend. "I'm really busy here, I'll see you later, Steven."

"Are you going to come by after your shift still?" Steven asked. Dawn had unfolded a second stepladder and was taking over where Jackie had left off, moving product, and dusting the shelves. Steven noted the way Dawn looked at the both of them, her feather duster revolving slowly in the same spot. Steven cleared his throat, lowering his voice so only Jackie could hear him. "You haven't seen Grooves in its full glory yet."

Jackie took a deep breath. "We'll see."

Steven licked his lips, longing to touch her again. "Yeah, alright."

Jackie seemed impatient for him to leave, and Steven didn't wait around for her to ask him to. He mumbled a goodbye, turning on his heel. He met Eric at the fountain, walking towards the exit. A part of him wanted to turn back, to get that last check of Jackie, to see if she was looking at him too. _Hope Springs Eternal_ Jackie's voice sang in his head. But unlike Lot's wife, he wasn't desperate to be turned into a pillar of salt, so Steven didn't look back. He walked out into the Wisconsin winter, Eric at his side.

-x-

Jackie and Dawn pulled the heavy metal grate down over The Cheese Palace's entrance, the both of them working together to hold it down, as Todd turned the lock on either side of the grate with his key. He stood slowly, as the two girls released the gate, and Todd motioned for them to follow.

"Paychecks are here," Todd said. He stooped behind the counter, opening the safe. "There's a little something extra too, for Christmas."

"Yes!" Dawn exclaimed, grabbing her check from Todd. "There are a cute pair of boots I've been eyeing all week."

Jackie took hers, folding it in half. "Thanks, Todd."

Todd slammed the safe door closed, spinning the lock a couple of times. He placed a hand on either of the girls shoulders. "Don't go spending it all in one place now, ladies."

Dawn rolled her eyes. "Yes, dad."

Jackie shot Todd a look as he began to massage his fingers over her shoulder, his pointer finger edging over to her bare skin. Todd's hand fell back, as if scalded.

"I for one," Todd said hurriedly, flipping off the store's main lights. He followed them through the back room to their lockers, "will be spending this money on the next lessons to earn my nidan black belt. My instructor says that I am progressing well through my courses."

Jackie and Dawn shared a look as they slipped on their coats.

Todd planted his feet, bending his knees. He flexed his arms, his face tense with concentration.

"Pretty soon," Todd continued, oblivious to the girls silent laughter, "I'll have to go up to Kenosha, to a bigger dojo. I've almost outranked Sensei Peter."

"Wow, that's totally awesome." Dawn said, laughter leaching through her words.

Todd grinned, coming up from his pose. He nodded his head, as if to say, he already knew.

"I think so too," Todd said. He slipped his own coat over his shoulders, zipping up the down jacket to his chin.

Jackie barked a laugh, slapping a hand over her mouth. She grabbed her purse, slamming her locker closed. She stuffed her check into her purses depths, slinging the bag over her shoulder.

"Come along, ladies, while the night is still young!" Todd called. He waited for them by the door leading out to the employee's hallway. Todd jingled his keys in his hand, nodding them through the door.

Dawn and Jackie followed Todd, waiting in the hall as he closed and locked The Cheese Palace's employee entrance behind them. The three of them left together, hurrying down the hall towards the parking lot. Their footsteps echoed in the tiled hall, bouncing back at them. Snow had begun to fall again, covering the parking lot in a crisp sheet of powder white, and Jackie bid the other two a quick farewell, running cautiously across the parking lot towards the Lincoln.

She blew warm arm into her hands, sliding behind the Lincoln's steering wheel. Fumbling with the keys, Jackie started the engine, flipping the defrost on to full blast. Cold seeped through her coat, and her bare legs were icicles.

"Dammit, it's cold!" Jackie muttered to herself, shivering. She rubbed her hands together, watching the ice that covered the windows finally begin to melt.

" _You're listening to Hot Donna, on WFPP The Sound. It's a chilly one out there folks-"_

"Gee, you think, Lumberjack?" Jackie yelled at the radio, shivering. Warm air began to pour from the vents and Jackie angled them all onto her body. "Oh, god, that's nice."

" _-heavy snow, and low temperatures are in the forecast. The National Weather Service for Kenosha County is warning of a possible blizzard. Bring in your pets and plants! Now here's a hot new track from Foreigner."_

Melted ice dripped down the windshield, and Jackie flipped on the wiper blades, flinging ice off the glass and into the snowy lot. She put the car in reverse, backing up out of her spot. Jackie passed by Dawn, still waiting in her frozen Mustang. The girls waved to each other, Jackie hurrying out of the lot and onto the highway.

 _Well I'm hot blooded,_

 _Check it and see._

 _I've got a fever of a hundred and three._

Jackie carefully maneuvered the car into town, subconsciously leaning forward over the steering wheel. Driving in ice always made her nervous. The Lincoln had already caught a patch of black ice, hydroplaning for three heart stopping seconds before gaining traction again. In that time Jackie had seen her future pass before her eyes, and how bleak it had been. It was enough to give her nightmares.

She brought the Lincoln to a slow stop at the stop sign. Grooves sat on the corner, just across the street, and Jackie considered Steven's invitation. The wiper blades cut a path across the windshield, filling the cabin with its steady beat.

Grooves was brightly lit, though its parking lot was nearly empty. Jackie glanced at the time, understanding why. Fifteen after ten.

The Camino was parked in front of the low roofed building, and Jackie angled the Lincoln next to it, leaving the wipers sloping across the windshield. She pulled her coat closer around her body, hurrying out of the warm car towards Grooves warm interior. Her wedges slid across the icy sidewalk and she skated, grabbing the door handle to catch her fall, a yelp escaping her lips.

Steven looked up at her entrance from his perch behind the counter. Zeppelin blared from the speakers. Steven reached behind him, turning down the volume on the control board behind him.

"Hey!" Steven called. A small smile lit up his face, and Jackie found herself smiling back. He stood from his stool, coming around the side of the counter.

"Hey," Jackie said back, dumping her purse on the listening pit's blue couch.

Angie waved at her through the office's window, and Jackie waved back, giving Steven's sister a terse smile. She still hadn't forgiven the witch for trying to get her Steven fired.

"Didn't think you'd come," Steven said as he neared her. His face looked hopeful, his sunglasses clipped to his collar. "Nice surprise."

Jackie shivered, her bare legs covered in goose flesh. Her eyes took in the finished store. "You were right, I haven't seen Grooves in its full glory."

"Jackie!" Angie called, exiting the office. "It's so great to see you. Steven has been moping about since he got here. It'll be nice to have him able to function. Well. As much as a dope head can, at least."

"I have not," Steven spat, defensively. He took up Jackie's purse, bringing it over to the counter and taking his seat on his stool.

Angie leaned close to Jackie. "Yes, he has."

Jackie nodded. "I am pretty amazing."

"So, what's up with the outfit?" Angie said, her dark eyes taking in Jackie's uniform. "Is there _another_ sausage festival in this town?"

"Oh," Jackie held open her coat. Cheese wafted off her clothes, filling the warm air with the scent of moldy Gorgonzola. "I work at The Cheese Palace."

"I sure hope to God they're paying you enough money," Angie said, walking over to the register. Her nose was twisted in a sneer.

Jackie shrugged, following after Angie. "Enough to support my lifestyle, and that's all I care about right now."

Angie nodded. She glanced at her wristwatch, tapping her free hand on the counter. "I wish these people would hurry up. I have a date tonight."

"Oh, yeah?" Steven asked, looking at his sister suspiciously. "With who?"

"No one," Angie replied, coquettish.

"Hey, dimwits!" Steven called to a pair of teens loitering by the rock section.

"What?" one of them yelled back.

"Either pick out a record, or get out!" Steven yelled, tossing his hand up. "We're closed!"

"Nice, Steven," Angie said. The two teens hurried out of the store, muttering to one another, and tossing back dirty looks. Angie rounded on her brother. "You know, if you read any of the literature on how to properly run a business, you'd know, rule number one, the customer is always right. Rule number two, you don't yell at the customers!"

"Oh, whatever," Steven said. He opened the register, taking out his cash drawer. "Who are you going on a date with? You can't just date anyone in this town, y'know."

Angie sighed, turning towards the office. She fielded off Steven's cash drawer, ignoring his question. "Would you mind finishing this up? I really am late. I left the books open for you; all you have to do it count and write down what you have. Think you can manage?"

"I don't appreciate the attitude. I used to do this for Leo all the time," Steven said, propping the cash drawer on his hip. "Quit treating me like a common criminal."

Angie shot Steven a look that clearly stated what she thought of him and disappeared into the office. She returned with her coat and bag, slightly out of breath as she half-jogged across the store towards the ext. "I'll see you guys tomorrow!"

"Have fun on your date!" Jackie called.

"Don't encourage her, Jackie," Steven said.

Jackie feigned innocence. "What?"

"You know what."

Steven locked the door behind Angie, flipping the sign over to read Closed. Jackie trailed behind him to the office, leaning against the doorjamb. She watched Steven pull the books closer to him, counting the money from the register.

Zeppelin had come to an end, the tone arm clicking as it settled back in it's cradle. Jackie spun around, idling up and down the aisles as Steven worked. She could just see the top of his curly head through the office's window, bent low over his work.

Selecting a record from a milk crate, Jackie replaced Zeppelin, bringing the tone arm down to the first track. She turned up the volume, taking up the cardboard sleeve and reading the back.

"No!" Steven yelled from the office. His head poked around the door. "Turn this crap off!"

"Shut up and work!" Jackie responded, turning up the volume so the Captain and Tennille pulsed from the speakers.

Jackie sat on Steven's abandoned stool, cupping her chin in her palm. She stared blankly at the cardboard sleeve, spinning it on the counter by the corner. The air in Grooves was stifling warm, the opposite of how Steven liked it. Must have been Angie, Jackie thought, fleetingly picturing how lithe and skinny Steven's sister was. Jackie slid her fur coat from her shoulders, draping it across the counter.

 _Love_

 _Love will keep us together_

 _Think of me babe, whenever_

Singing softly along with Toni, Jackie eyed the posters covering the walls around her. A full wall of Led Zeppelin was directly across from the counter. Aerosmith, Judas Priest, and Eric Clapton. Everywhere she looked was Steven's influences. Spinning around on the stool, Jackie let her hand drop hard onto the glass counter top. Cassette tapes lined the wall behind the counter, organized seemingly randomly, but Jackie knew Steven knew where every single tape was. He had a system, a way.

Jackie stood, the balls of her feet aching from wearing wedges all day.

 _You_

 _You belong to me now_

 _Ain't gonna set you free now_

Jackie crossed her arms under her chest, gliding around the store. She flipped through the soft rock section, smirking when she noticed that Steven had marked the Pat Boone albums with a hastily scrawled R at the end of his name. She ran the tips of her fingers over each milk crate, remembering the night the gang had gotten together to steal them.

Lately it felt like everyone was going their separate ways. Eric and Donna were in a limbo, dating, but with no regard to their future. Who knew where it would take them. Michael was busy becoming a cop, and when he wasn't, he was off with Betsy and Brooke, attempting to become a father. And Fez… Jackie didn't want to think about Fez. If anyone should be a hairdresser and beauty consultant, it was she.

 _Whatever_

 _Young and beautiful_

 _But someday your looks will be gone_

 _When the others turn you off_

 _Who'll be turning you on?_

"So what do you think?" Steven asked, startling Jackie out of her reverie. She spun towards him.

"It looks nice," Jackie acknowledged, "now that everything's out of boxes."

Steven looked around the store. He hooked his thumbs on his belt buckle. Jackie fell onto the listening pit's couch, tucking her legs up under her. She rubbed absently at her ankles, pulling at the laces of her wedges. Steven sank onto the cushion beside her, jostling her with his weight. One of his hands, warm and clammy, settled onto her knee.

"You ok?" Steven asked.

Ever since Thanksgiving Jackie had been trying to prove Steven wrong. That she wasn't punishing him for how he had hurt her feelings. But even she knew she was failing. She had been hot and cold towards him, going through phases of intense affection, and cold standoffishness. Annoyance lit into her like a virus, souring her moods at times that didn't even make sense to herself.

"Yeah," Jackie said, nodding her head. She could convince herself. As her mother said, Fake It Till You Believe It. "Yeah, I'm ok."

Steven's hand was moist on her skin. "We ok?"

Jackie's eyes met Steven's. She covered his hand with her own, drawing her lower lip between her teeth. She didn't know what they were. But she would soon. The LOPPS Christmas party was in two days. Either Steven shaped up and became the man she knew he could be, or she cut the tether stringing them together.

"Yeah, Steven, we're ok." Jackie said. She desperately wanted to believe it true.

A genuine smile lit Steven's face. He cupped her face, drawing her to him for a kiss. Jackie wondered how he had believed her so quickly. But maybe that's just how men operate.

Jackie kissed Steven in return, leaning into his touch. She was taken back, to that summer, their summer, of making out on the ratty couch in the Forman's basement. It was easy to forget about the rest, the messy bits that had come after. When they had first started this, there was nothing to ruin, except Jackie's makeup with their intense make-outs.

Heat pooled between her thighs, that all too familiar ache Steven induced upon her body pulsing at her sex. Jackie moaned softly, breaking away to come back straddling Steven's lap.

"Oh, god, yes," Steven moaned back, tugging her cheese maiden cap off of her head. His hands dropped to her thighs. "I've fantasized of taking you in this outfit. Bending you over… Pushing your skirt up your thighs."

Jackie rolled her hips over him. She brought her hands to her body, first cupping her breasts, than teasing him with the laces at her bodice. Pulling gently on the ribbon, Jackie watched Steven's expression, lust taking over his features.

Steven pushed up against her, pressing his erection into her center. "God, I want you."

"Take me, Steven," Jackie whispered, pulling apart her bodice.

It was passionate, and quick, hard and soft. All the good qualities of their love making rolled into one go. Jackie lost herself in the moment, losing herself in the feeling. The couch was soft under her; Steven was hard over her. She cried her orgasm, coming harder than she remembered coming in a long time. Her legs wrapped about his waist, holding him to her, as her hips moved of their own accord, drawing the last of her quaking pleasure from her body.

Steven pulled back from her, motioning for her to stand. He turned her back to him, and said, "Get on your knees on the couch."

Jackie complied without complaint. She spread her knees wide, teasing Steven with the view of her perfectly rounded ass, giggling when Steven lightly spanked her, taking her hips in his hands. Watching him over her shoulder, Jackie tossed her hair out of her eyes. God he looked so sexy, panting slightly, and staring at her like she was the sexiest thing he had seen.

"God, I'm going to use this for a while," Steven said, taking her in. He came closer, sliding into her with a groan. "Fuck, Jackie," Steven moaned. He adjusted his grip on her hips, pushing her cheese maiden uniform up her hips. Jackie's eyes drifted shut as Steven began to move, and she whimpered wantonly.

They were both sweaty when Steven spilled himself inside of her. He leaned over her back, cupping her breasts as he kissed her shoulders.

Jackie pulled away, turning to face Steven. His hot semen dripped down the insides of her thighs, mingling with her own slick arousal. They kissed, a kiss full of unspoken wants.

"I love you, Steven," Jackie whispered, pressing her forehead to his. Steven's arms tightened around her. He kissed her cheeks, the tip of her nose.

"Yeah, baby, I know," Steven whispered back, kissing her mouth.

 **-x-**

 **The LOPPS Christmas Party is almost here!**

 **Also, I couldn't find really anything about The Cheese Palace, since in the show Jackie seemingly just quits working, even though her family is now broke and poor, and Steven isn't the type to just hand her money. I can't fathom why Jackie would quit her job, especially while she is now supporting herself. So yeah, long explanation short, Jackie still has this job while she's still in high school.**

 **Reviews are like cocaine to a writer, highly addicting and wonderful while they last! (Please don't do drugs, kids. Please do leave reviews.)**


	11. Chapter 11

**The Seeker**

Jackie clutched the metal cookie sheet resting across her thighs, her fingers tight around the lip of the aluminum. Her knees were pressed against the back of Donna's seat, and the cookies jostled around under the foil covering them, more than likely ruining the frosting job Jackie had accomplished earlier in the day. She found she didn't care. Her knees pressed harder into the back of Donna's seat, hoping to bring the blond as much annoyance as Jackie herself felt.

" _Have a holly, jolly Christmas!"_ Mrs. Forman sang, gunning the Toyota towards Point Place Community Center. Her heavily coifed hair bounced along with her body, and Kitty pursed her mouth, humming loudly along with the instrumentals. _"It's the best time of the year."_

 _Best time of the year, my ass,_ Jackie thought, shifting in her seat. She pulled at the seatbelt crossing her body, freeing her hair. Inky black wetness covered the streets of Point Place. Grey snow lay in piles at the street corners, and Jackie exhaled, her dark eyes watching her breath frost the glass.

" _Oh, by golly, have a holly, jolly Christmas, this year!"_ Mrs. Forman crooned, sharply turning into the Point Place Community Center's parking lot. A smattering of vehicles was already parked near the entrance, and Mrs. Forman joined them, angling the compact car between two large Lincoln's. Kitty pulled the rearview mirror, angling it so she could see her reflection. Her hand reached behind her blindly, fingers snapping. "Jackie, hand me my purse."

Jackie handed Mrs. Forman the small beaded bag, unsnapping her seatbelt. Jackie transferred the cookie sheet to the empty seat at her side, sliding forward in her chair to bring her face between Donna's and Mrs. Forman's.

Kitty dug through her bag, extracting a tube of lipstick. She swiped the deep red color over her mouth, rubbing the pigment into her skin with a _smack!_ of her lips. She fingered her hair, dropping the lipstick back into her bag.

"Now, girls," Kitty said, swiping her powder puff over her t-zone and cheeks. She took a sharp inhale, her eyes rolling. "This is a big deal. The LOPPS are the mafia of Point Place. We're going to show Patty Ryals her place in this world once and for all." She fixed each girl with an intense glare. "Got it?"

"Sure, thing, Mrs. Forman," Donna said, pulling her coat tighter around her body. She popped open the passenger door, briefly sending Jackie a look of apprehension in the back seat.

Donna released the lever on the side of the passenger seat, allowing Jackie to exit the backseat. Jackie shouldered her bag, turning back to grab the tray of cookies. Cold winter air bit through her thick coat, and a light dusting of fresh snow had begun to fall. The asphalt was black and shiny under the lights beaming through the open Community Center's door, and Jackie soldiered on, leaving Donna and Mrs. Forman to follow her.

The LOPPS was all Jackie wanted to be. Rich. Married. Popular. Pam had become a member, and Grandma Burkhart before her had been a member as well. Jackie wouldn't be left behind. She wouldn't be the Burkhart who let her family down.

Donna trailed behind Jackie to the refreshment table, helping her to unwrap the tray of cookies and platters of small sandwiches. Mrs. Forman was a tornado, flitting around the hall like a bird. She set up gifts, and draped tablecloths over the small round café tables hugging the far wall. Kitty discreetly handed Jackie a handle of rum, winking at the bowl of punch placed pointedly out of a child's reach.

"You're not seriously going to spike the punch are you?" Donna whispered as Kitty hurried off, a garden gnome tucked under one arm. "Jackie, did you not hear Mrs. Forman's horror story of 1972? We don't need to scar some innocent little kids!"

"Why not, Donna?" Jackie asked. She unscrewed the cap, upending the bottle over the bright red punch. "I need _something_ to help."

"Help?" Donna asked. She crossed her arms over her chest. The heel of her shoe tapped against the linoleum flooring. Her bright eyes scanned the room, checking for any eyewitnesses. "Help what? Your pleasant attitude?"

Jackie dipped the ladle into the punch, swirling the crystal spoon. Heat pricked her cheeks and at the backs of her eyes. Her stomach clenched and she poured herself a generous amount, turning on Donna. Words tumbled out of her mouth, the anger she had felt at Steven all day finding home with her best friend.

"I don't know what it is that I've done to you exactly, Donna," Jackie started, her posture tight. "I've always been there for you. I've always listened to you. I don't understand why you're treating me like some sort of _ridiculous_ girl."

Donna's mouth twisted, her eyes drifting closed as she puffed up her retort. Jackie didn't let her speak.

"When Eric left you at the altar, it was like something zapped you in that big, ol' Lumberjack- Feminist brain of yours!" Jackie sputtered. She took a step closer to Donna, noting the step Donna took away. "You were never all that girlie, and I got over that. But you didn't used to be this cruel and callous, Donna. I can't get over that."

"Cruel?" Donna stammered, her hand coming up to point at her own chest. "When have I ever been cruel to you? Do you even hear the things that come out of your mouth?"

"Oh, whatever, turn it back on me, like I'm the one who always at fault," Jackie took a deep gulp, coughing over the taste of rum. She swiped at the corner of her eyes, catching a few wayward tears before they had the chance to fall. "Everything's always my fault. Just ask Steven. He'd rather be in a room full of toys, than here, with me, supporting me in this. My future is here, Donna, happening right now. What has he done to support that? It's like he's left me behind, and no one cares. No one cares."

A moment of silence fell over them. Jackie sipped the last of her punch, turning to refill her cup. She heard her voice, the trembling words hanging between her and Donna. The crystal ladle sang when Jackie dropped it back into the bowl. Punch lapped over the edges, staining the tablecloth. Tremors shook over her shoulders. She gripped her glass with both hands in an attempt to hide the shaking of her arms.

"Jackie," Donna sighed, her crossed arms picking at the sides of her sweater, "look I'm sorry. I don't really understand what it is that you're going through, but I am sorry."

Words failed Jackie. Words had very rarely failed her in the past, but Jackie didn't quite understand herself these days. Everything was spiraling out of control; her life was in shambles. She always had a retort, always had a burn waiting. Life was funny nowadays. All she could do was nod her head.

Jackie brought her punch glass to her lips, resting it against her lower lip. She took a small sip, warmth spreading through her. "Whatever, Donna. I don't want to talk about this anymore." She used a technique she had used in the past, telling herself that she was fine. Her mantra sang in her mind: _You are beautiful. You are amazing. The other girls wish they were you._ The LOPPS are an elite group, they can't think that trivial things like this have any effect on me."

Pivoting on her heel, Jackie stalked off across the room, taking a seat on the far side of the room. The so-far assembled SLOPPS glared at Jackie as she took her seat. Jackie set her cup onto the vinyl tablecloth, crossing her arms over her chest.

" _It's the best time of the year."_

-x-

Steven tightened the bolo around his neck. He tucked his shirt into his best jeans, the ones without the hole on the knee, and studied his reflection under the basement bathrooms hazy light. His black, pearl-snap shirt showcased the bolo in a way that would make Jackie happy.

"Too much," Steven muttered, pulling off the bolo. He tossed the black and turquoise tie into the dingy sink and leaned on the edges of the porcelain, his head dipping. It was just a stupid party. A party he didn't even care about. But Jackie did. She cared about things that seemed inconsequential to him, things that were stupid, and things that would never matter in five years. Like his health and happiness. All she asked for in return was that he goes to a damn party. Oh, and the ever present request that he tell her he wanted to shackle himself to her for the rest of eternity.

But he'd seen the way the light had left her eyes this afternoon in the kitchen. Like a small puppy that had been kicked one too many times, it would never trust its owner again. Life was too short to keep disappointing everyone. He'd make the exception for Jackie.

"Come on, Hyde!" Eric called from the main basement room. "Red's gonna kill us if we're late."

"I'm comin'!" Steven yelled, exiting the bathroom and stomping back into his room. He undid the top button on his shirt, and snatched his coat off of the bed. Pulling the light's cord, he exited his room, sighing as he shoved his arms into coat. "Alright, let's go."

"You clean up nice," Fez remarked, his arms laden with newly wrapped toys. "You have such nice skin."

Kelso snickered. "You trying to get back on Jackie's good side? It's gonna take more than that."

"Shut up," Steven muttered, gathering up the last of the toys perched on the back of the couch.

"Man, I saw how pissed off she was this afternoon," Kelso said, gathering up an armful of toys. "I pissed her off a lot, but, man, you take the cake."

"And we're off!" Eric led the way up the basement steps, peering around his arm full of toys as he ascended into the bitter night.

Steven dumped his load of gifts into the back of the Vista Cruiser. He pulled his keys from his pocket, twirling them on his finger. "I'll meet you guys there."

"You're not riding with us?" Eric asked, pausing at the driver's side of the Cruiser. "We always ride together."

"No, man, I'll meet you there," Steven repeated, lightly jogging down the drive to the Camino parked at the curb. He paused at the driver's door. Fez, Kelso, and Eric were watching him with confused expressions. "Just get in the damn car, I'll see you there!"

Steven slid behind the wheel, shivering in the still cold air of the cars interior. The Camino roared to life, and Steven pulled away from the curb, his eyes catching the Cruiser as it pulled out behind him.

If things went the way he was hoping they would, than he would need the Camino to bring Jackie home. Or to park somewhere, kissing away the hurt he had caused her.

Point Place was draped in ice. It shone off of the light posts, and the tops of mailboxes in mirrored sheets. Steven drove cautiously through town, his hands at ten and two. It was against his image, driving like a grandma, but the Camino meant more to him than his own grandmother. He'd rather drive like a botard than wreck his baby.

The Cruiser pulled level with Steven in front of the Piggly Wiggly. Honks gathered his attention and he gagged when he turned to look. Kelso's naked butt pressed against the window, cheeks spread wide, rubbing in circles in Steven's direction. Fez was pressed against the back window, hands fanning his ecstatic face, his dark eyes darting between Kelso's naked flesh, and Hyde across from him. Their raucous laughter reached Steven in the Camino as Eric zoomed past him onto Main Street.

They fishtailed, quickly disappearing into the winter night.

Our Lady of Perpetual Sorrow caught Steven's eye at the next intersection. He stared at the white building, an odd sense of déjà vu settling in his chest. Was it really only three months ago that Forman and Donna had cancelled their wedding?

So much had changed since then. So much was different. He had a rich dad, and he worked a dream job. The coffee can under his bed was packed with cash, and he had enough film to last him the rest of his life.

All there was left was Jackie.

The light changed to green and Steven drove off, leaving the Catholic Church bathed in taillights. What if he had just done it? Married her, in the booked church, the day that was supposed to be Donna and Eric's? Life could possibly have remained the same.

Slapping his palm against the steering wheel, Steven bit his lip, shifting his weight. Life wouldn't be the same. Not married. It didn't matter how much he loved Jackie, marrying her now, before he was even out of his teens, spelled disaster.

Steven parked near the Toyota in the Community Center's lot. The Cruiser was already parked, it's rear window open. Eric and Fez were gathering toys from the back of the Cruiser, stuffing them into a red velvet bag Red had left behind. Kelso smirked at Steven as he neared the trio, fastening his belt.

"Hey, Hyde, did you get my message?" Kelso asked. A shit-eating grin covered his face. He shook his hips suggestively, his tongue lolling out of his mouth. "I can send it again, if you didn't."

Pulling his coat closer around his middle, Steven cleared his throat. "Yeah, sure. Thanks, Kelso. I needed a good belch before coming here."

Kelso grinned. "You saw London, you saw France-"

"You saw Kelso's glorious Uranus." Fez interrupted.

Kelso and Steven stared incredulously at Fez. The foreigner laughed, his chuckles descending into awkward chortles. He picked at his wrist, tugging at the cuff of his shirt. "What? You can't laugh at jokes anymore?"

"You are one freaky, perverted dude," Steven grumbled. His sour mood was deepening and he shoved away the bag of toys that Eric attempted to pass him. "Carry your own damn toys, Forman."

"Man, what is up with you?" Eric asked. His voice was whiney, high and tight like an upset chick. Passing the bag of toys off to Kelso, Eric approached Steven, stuffing his hands into his pockets. His breath was thick and white before his parted lips. "You were cool this morning. What? Is it because we opened all those toys? We're giving them to their rightful owners." He shrugged his bony shoulders. "Just slightly used, is all."

"No, Forman, that ain't it." Steven glanced at Kelso and Fez, their sides pressed together as they leaned their upper bodies into the back of the Cruiser, reaching for the last toys that had slid up against the back seat. Giggles escaped through the frigid air from the two, and Steven wiped at the corners of his mouth, suddenly annoyed by their childishness. An intense urge to kick them both in the ass washed over him and he gritted his teeth.

Eric nodded, a look of understanding passing over his features. "Jackie."

Steven's eyes snapped back to Eric. "That obvious, huh?"

Eric's eyebrows rose and fell. He crossed his arms, shifting his weight. "Isn't it always the same thing with you two nowadays?"

"Whatever, Forman," Steven bit out. "Like you and Donna are doing any better." He was loath to admit that the comment had grated on him the wrong way. Everyone needed to keep their observations to themselves. Especially when he hadn't asked for them.

Eric's hand pressed to his heart. "I know that comes from a place of deep, deep sorrow. I forgive your lashing out."

The Point Place Community Center had been transformed. The stage was a pictorial Christmas village. Streamers and twinkle lights hung artistically in swags and drapes across the bland, white cinder block tiled walls. Tables lined one wall, piled high with punch and cookies, hoagies and fruit platters.

Steven tugged at the waist of his jeans, feeling awkward. He hated these kinds of shows. Rich people all gathered together in one room. It was enough to make him sick. Matter of fact, he felt like he could puke right now, staring at it all."

"Hyde?" Donna met him at the doors, pausing at his side. "What are you doing here? Jackie said you weren't coming."

"Yeah, well, here I am." Steven responded. His gaze swept the room. He sighed. Bitterness was an ugly emotion, and it was rearing it head now, clutching at his stomach and his heart. "Where is Jackie?"

Donna chuckled. Her finger pointed across the room to a table on the far wall. "She's been relegated to the SLOPPS table."

"SLOPPS?" Steven asked. "What the hell are the SLOPPS?"

"The Single Ladies of Point Place," Donna said, chuckling still. "Single Ladies. You should have seen her face when Patty Ryals told her to sit there."

"Great," Steven muttered. He made his way across the hall, bypassing Mrs. Forman with a tight-lipped grin.

Jackie saw him when he entered the hall. Her face was pulled into a dejected pout, and it didn't change as he neared her. She picked at the vinyl table covering, her lips working over her teeth. Steven felt his jaw click. His teeth ground together, his masseter muscles flexing. This was going to be a fun-filled evening.

Jackie leaned back in her seat. Her eyes were glassy, her lips slightly redder than her normal shade of lipstick. "Well, well, well. Look who decided to show up."

Steven took the open seat next to her, briefly noting that every other girl seated at the table were shooting daggers at them. "You gonna make this harder than it has to be, Jackie?"

Swirling her empty punch glass on the table, Jackie shrugged her shoulders. She scratched at the side of her nose, shaking her hair over her shoulders. "Probably."

"Look, Jackie, I'm sorry," Steven whispered, leaning close. He spread his fingers across her thigh. Her wool skirt itched at his palm. "I don't understand why you're so upset with me. I'm here, aren't I?"

Jackie's eyes landed on him. "Because, Steven you promised. You promised weeks ago you'd be here. And then you acted like, like-"

"Like I didn't want to be here?" Steven supplied.

Eyes rolling, Jackie uncrossed her legs, dislodging Steven's hand. "That's not the point, Steven."

Steven laced his fingers together, his elbows on his knees. The Community Center was slowly filling with the elite of Point Place. Patty Ryals glided about the room, smiling demurely at each guest. Kitty, in return, was wringing her hands. Probably about the toys, Steven thought, glancing at the drapes drawn across the stage.

"You promised," Jackie repeated.

"When?" Steven asked.

"You promised two weeks ago. You promised before Thanksgiving," Jackie reached for her empty glass, wrapping her fingers around it.

Steven's eyebrows furrowed. "Is that why you bought me a new shirt?"

Jackie just looked at him, silent. She licked her upper lip, the tip of her tongue briefly trapped between her teeth.

"You could have said something, Jackie."

"You could have remembered."

"This is so stupid, you're getting mad at me for something I said when I was drunk."

"Than maybe you shouldn't drink so much."

"You want me to start going to church too? Feed the poor?"

"Like some quality time with Jesus would hurt you."

"You should like Mrs. Forman."

Jackie stood suddenly, her chair shooting back. "I'm getting more punch."

Steven watched her go, her hips shash-shaying away.

"How terrible," a voice purred to his right. Steven turned towards the SLOPP. She leaned her elbow onto the table, her breasts resting next to her punch. "She seems really upset. And on Christmas."

Steven didn't say anything.

"You know," SLOPP continued, the legs of her chair scraping against the linoleum, "I would never force you to do anything you didn't want to."

"Whatever," Steven muttered, standing. He followed Jackie across the room.

Donna was standing at the corner of the refreshment table. Her gaze was set on her father, dressed up as Santa. She pursed her mouth, holding her cup against her chest.

"Jackie, I don't want to fight tonight," Steven said as he drew level with her. She ladled punch into her glass, taking a long sip. Topping off her glass again, she rounded on Steven.

"You should get some punch," Jackie's cheeks were ruddy and pink. "It's special just for you. It'll help you forget any other promise you may make to me in the future."

-x-

"How long you gonna punish Hyde this time?"

Jackie turned, looking to Donna, and then to Steven mere feet away. It took Jackie a moment to focus on him; she covered her left eye with her fingers, and Steven sprang into plain view, his passive face staring at her, a glass of punch clutched in his fingers. A chasm had opened between them, one that Jackie knew she had put there. Warmth spread through her limbs and across her chest. Her hand dropped away from her face. She had drunk too much, but didn't want to stop. Drinking was fueling her anger. And right now, anger was the only thing that made sense to her. It coursed through her; it consumed her. It was all she could think about.

Steven hadn't talked to her since he had arrived.

Donna wasn't interested in why she was upset, not really.

The LOPPS had demoted her to the SLOPPS table. It had taken her four more punch's to get over that horror, another two to forget that Susie Vincent had once slept with Michael, and one more to remember that she didn't care who Michael had slept with.

It would have been easy to forgive Steven. Easy to let it go. He had shown up, like she'd wanted, and he'd done it for her. Isn't that what she had wanted all along?

Too little, too late.

Across the room, Susie Vincent stood from the SLOPPS table, making her way over to the refreshment table. Susie poured a glass of punch (children's punch), pausing by Steven's side to sip at the fruit blend. Neither of them made any acknowledgement to one another. Jackie wondered if Steven had also slept with Susie Vincent.

Anger renewed.

What she had wanted was for him to comply right away. To not have acted like a child, stuck in his room of toys, and act like a man. A man worth spending the rest of her life with. It had cut her like a knife, that he had chosen a room full of toys over her happiness. As if spending one evening away from the musty basement would hurt him. Another adult fueled punch. Another punch would help her forget.

Jackie drained her glass, punch staining the corners of her mouth. "He'll survive."

"Jackie, I think you're being a bit dramatic about this."

"What's new?" Jackie slurred.

Donna chewed on her cheek. She was giving Jackie a pitying look, her eyes anxious. "You wanna get some air? I need some air."

"Sure, whatever." Jackie set her cup down, teetering on her feet. She wandered off, leaving Donna by the refreshment table. Her feet felt heavy, and she leaned forward, walking on her toes. Giggling, she extended her hands, reaching towards the exit doors. To think, of all the times she had made fun of girls for walking like baby calves in heels. Her feet glided across the linoleum, her toes pressing against the front of her heels. This was way better than trying to balance on the heels of her feet.

It hit her suddenly, how much she had drunk. The floor tilted, rising up sharply under her, and she collapsed against the main doors leading into the Community Hall. Silence deafened her. Soft laughter escaped her. Heads turned as she stumbled out into the entrance hall, and she righted herself quickly. She acted as if the door had stuck, playing it off in what her inebriated state found authentic. An Oscar-worthy performance.

"Jackie!" Donna grabbed her arm. Her blond hair was bright under the fluorescent lighting. Yellow, with ends brittle and full of split-ends. "Are you alright? Come on. No, Hyde, I got her. Let go, I got her."

Jackie pushed her hair out of her eyes. Steven was by her side, his mouth tight as he hand gripped her bicep. "Steven?"

"Come on, Jackie," Donna said, tugging on her other arm. "I got her, Hyde, don't worry. We're just going to go out for some air. Let go."

Jackie felt tears, hot and thick, threatening to spill over her lashes. She yielded like a child as Donna presented her coat, coaxing the garment over her body. Steven trailed behind them, stopping as they exited the building. He started to speak, reaching towards Jackie.

"Don't worry, we're just going to be out here."

Donna supported her weight, helping her down the steps into the parking lot. Benches were set against the far wall, and Donna led Jackie towards them.

"I'm sorry, Donna." Tears had begun to fall. Her words jumbled in her mouth, and she swiped angrily at her cheeks. The cold stung, freezing her tears to her skin. "I'm so sorry."

"Ok, now I know for sure you're wasted," Donna remarked. She sat awkwardly beside Jackie on the bench, pulling her coat tight about her. "You never apologize. Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever even heard the words 'I'm sorry' from you before."

Jackie hiccupped, swaying forward over her knees. "Donna, I miss Steven."

"He's just inside. Do you want me to go get him?"

"No!" Jackie cried. Tears fell steadily. She hiccupped, wiping her hand over her cheeks. "I just- Donna, I miss him. I miss Steven so much."

Donna's knees clamped together, and she wrapped her arms around her middle. She emanated warmth, and Jackie scooted closer to her, pressing herself against Donna's side. Jackie let her head fall back, resting against the rough bricked wall. She sobbed softly, tears dripping off her chin to soak the collar of her coat. The lights spaced throughout the parking lot were slanted in her vision, blurry as snow fell and tears clouded her eyes.

"What do you miss, Jackie?" Donna asked softly. She wrapped her fingers around Jackie's arm, the weight a balm. Jackie continued to cry, hiccupping as the tears fell. Donna squeezed her forearm lightly. "Talk to me, Jackie. You're freaking me out when you don't talk."

Jackie swallowed thickly over a hiccup. "I miss him, Donna."

Donna shifted her weight. "Alright. What do you miss?"

"I miss…" Jackie trailed. She swallowed. "I miss the beginning of our relationship. I miss the old Steven."

Honesty. There it was. That was the root of her anger. What she missed was Steven, in the beginning. Before she truly knew Steven, when she could imagine the best of him. In the beginning when the things she discovered about Steven were the planes of his body, and the way he liked to be kissed. How he liked to be stroked and touched. Before she knew that he was flakey, and prone to anger. When he would do anything to make her happy. Not anything to make it up to her.

"Why?" Donna whispered.

Jackie licked her lips, a groan escaping her mouth. Everything was spinning around her. "It was easier. It was easier then."

"Why?"

"Because, Donna," Jackie said, tossing her hand up. Petulant. She sounded petulant. Pam hated when she sounded petulant. Steven hated when she sounded petulant. Jackie felt bile pushing at the back of her throat and swallowed it down.

"Talk to me, Jackie." Donna rubbed her arm. "Use your words."

Jackie closed her eyes, squeezing them shut. She breathed deeply through her nose, letting it out slowly through her mouth.

"I'm afraid."

"What are you afraid of?"

"I'm afraid I'll be like my mother. I'm afraid that Steven won't love me. Not really."

"He loves you now. Isn't that enough?"

"No! Well- I don't know."

Donna sighed. "When Eric left me..." Her voice caught and she cleared her throat before speaking again. "When Eric left me at the altar, I thought I would die. I missed all the things we were when we first started dating too."

Jackie rubbed tears off of her cheeks.

"I think I understand, Jackie, what you mean. I missed Eric too. The goofy, geek who made me feel like the most beautiful woman on the planet."

The tears fell of their own accord. Donna's fingers were tight over Jackie's arm, and Jackie reached out, covering them with her own. Jackie let her head fall to Donna's shoulder.

"But now, now that's there's not this pressure on us… Jackie, it's just like how it was. I didn't think we could go back, but we managed it. Somehow."

"It was so much easier." A hiccup escaped, and Jackie swallowed down a mouthful of bile, her face pulled into a grimace. "It was so much easier to love him when all I wanted was someone to get back at Michael with."

"You don't mean that, Jackie."

Jackie raised her head, breathing deeply over the nausea that rose with sudden movement.

"No, I don't mean it, Donna," Jackie felt her breath escape her in a rush. Her head felt like it weighed twenty pounds, pivoting on her neck. "There was always something about Steven. He was always there for me. When Michael cheated. When my parents had a fight. He was the one I always felt I could talk to. He was the one who cared."

"I always wondered why you ran to him when something went wrong. It seemed so natural. Don't get me wrong," Donna re-crossed her legs, "I still think it's creepy, and unnatural. But you two just fit. That's the only way I can describe it."

"Do you think we'll get married, Donna?"

A car passed on the road before them; it's headlights catching each falling flake of snow. Its tires whooshed on the wet pavement and they watched in silence till the car disappeared out of sight. Jackie's breathing was loud in her chest, her blood pounding in her ears.

"Do you think Eric and I will get married?"

Their breath was white crystal clouds before their faces.

Jackie chewed her lips. "Honestly?"

Donna swallowed hard. "Yeah. Honestly."

"Jackie?"

Donna and Jackie jumped, startled by their newcomer. Steven shivered before them, his hands deep in his coat pockets.

"Jackie, come on," Steven held out his hand, "I'll take you home."

"But the party…"

Steven glanced back at the entrance to the Community Center. He turned back to Jackie and Donna, stepping up onto the curb. "The party's over, Jackie."

Donna coughed, surreptitiously wiping at her cheeks. "I should go find Eric."

"He said he was going to the little boys room," Steven said, watching Donna as she walked away. Steven took a step closer. He pointed to Donna's vacant seat. " Can I sit?"

Jackie nodded.

Steven cleared his throat, sitting down hard beside her. He placed his hand on his knee, palm up, an invitation.

Staring down, Jackie contemplated her options. She could take his hand, give him the illusion that everything was all right. Or she could sit here, the same, as she had been angry and full of contempt.

Her body decided for her.

Vomit projectile out of her mouth, shooting across the curb to puddle in the parking lot. Jackie coughed hard, spitting onto the pavement.

"Oh, fuck!" Steven shouted, surprised. "Shit, Jackie, are you alright?"

Heavy, wrecking heaves shook her frame. She felt each rib as they contacted, and she threw up again. Her stomach somersaulted, shooting up her esophagus like a acrobat. New tears fell, and she cried from embarrassment as much as from her inebriation.

"Shh," Steven whispered, pulling back her hair and holding it at the nape of her neck. His voice was deep, and calm. "Come on, Pumpkin, come with me."

"I don't think I can-" Jackie gagged. Red bile dribbled from her lips. "I don't think I can move, Steven."

"Here, hold on," Steven grabbed her arm, wrapping it about his neck. He lifted her gently, leading her further away from the entrance. "Hold on to me, babe."

"Where are we going?" Jackie looked behind them, squinting as people began to spill out of the Community Center. Patty Ryals white dress reflected the lights back to them.

"If the LOPPS see you that's it," Steven said as they turned the corner of the building. "And then I'll never hear the end of it."

Jackie shoved away. She stumbled, catching herself before she fell.

"What?" Steven asked.

"I hate it when you do that!" Jackie's voice was loud, louder than normal. It grated on her ears.

"What?" Steven repeated.

"You're so mean!" Jackie swayed, overstepping her balance. "You think it's funny? You think it's funny to make me out to be some- some kind of…"

Jackie turned away, leaning against the wall. She hacked, her ribs aching as she heaved up spiked punch. Acid burned her gums and tongue.

Spitting onto the wall, Jackie rounded on Steven. Her face felt puffy and tight. "You think it's funny, to make fun of me?"

Steven blinked several times. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

"You're always making fun of me." Jackie pondered if that were true. She tried to remember before, anything, she tried to remember what it was truly like. He did make fun of her. Mouth pursing, she pushed a hand through her hair.

Right?

Hand pressing to her temple, she swayed on her feet, woozy.

Steven half-laughed. "When do I make fun of you?"

Jackie pointed at him, indignation rising up in her heart. "You're doing it right now!"

"Jackie, you're drunk." Steven's voice was irritated. He stepped away, into the darkness for a moment, and then came back, suddenly, looming larger than she'd remembered. Her eyes widened comically as she tried to focus on him. He rubbed the corners of his mouth. His eyes were soft in the light. "Jackie. Let's go. You're drunk."

"You're always drunk!" Jackie leaned against the brick wall, careful to avoid her puke. "Why shouldn't I be?"

Steven's hands rose, cupping her cheeks. His thumbs caressed her, smoothing away her tears. With the corner of his shirt he wiped at her mouth. "Cause I'm meant to be a drunk, burnout, loser. You aren't."

"I'm a SLOPP, Steven." Jackie swayed, steadied by Steven's hold.

Eyebrows high on his forehead, Steven smirked down at her. "Sloppy maybe, but not a SLOPP."

Jackie blinked, her hands rising to cover Steven's. "I want to go home. Take me home."

Time passed in increments. The Camino's leather cab. Streetlights, pulsing like a heartbeat as Steven drove them towards home. Snow fell, the wiper blades slapping across the windshield. Ice covered the stairs leading to the basement, and Jackie slipped, grabbing at the railing, pulling Steven down with her. Her palm stung, and she stared at the rash blooming on her soft flesh, cursing the rough retaining wall for marring her perfection.

Steven fumbled with the basement door, leading her through the dark room to his closet bedroom.

"Are you mad at me?" Jackie groaned as Steven led her to his cot, helping her to lie down. Her arms and legs felt like dumbbells had been attached to her wrists and ankles.

Propping one of her feet on his thigh, Steven began to undo the buckle on her shoe. His cobalt eyes looked up, then back to his task. Gripping her ankle, he slid the shoe off her foot, dropping it to the side.

"I thought you were the one who was mad at me."

Jackie sighed, her head falling to the side as Steven worked on her other shoe. "I just wanted you to remember."

"That I had promised to show up?" Steven asked, dropping her second shoe by the first. "I did show up."

"I wanted you to _want_ to show up."

"Jackie, you know parties like that aren't really my thing."

"We're almost grown up, Steven."

"Yeah, but not yet."

"I just need to know you're serious."

Steven mumbled under his breath, turning towards the chest of drawers on the far wall. He slid open the top drawer, pulling out a black t-shirt.

Jackie licked her lips. "I need to know you're serious about us, Steven."

"Come on, sit up." Steven grabbed her wrists, bringing her up to a sitting position. He undid the clasp on her necklace, setting it on the bedside table. He made short work of undressing her. Jackie pouted, her head aching as Steven fed her arms through his t-shirt, pulling it down over her breasts.

"Steven."

"Jackie."

"Are you?"

Steven began to fold her shirt and skirt, setting them on top of the chest of drawers. "Not tonight, Jackie."

"Just answer me," Jackie fell back onto the bed, her hair fanning over his pillow. "Just answer me and I'll go to sleep and you won't have to listen to me any more tonight."

She passed out, a deep, drunken slumber, as he undid his belt. Dreams evaded her. Her body felt heavy on the mattress and when she jolted awake some hours later, she felt as though she had been paralyzed. The blankets over her body were hot, and she kicked them off, relishing in the cool air that flowed over her glistening skin.

Water. Jackie rubbed at her eyes, slowly propping herself up onto her elbow. Ambient light filtered in under the closed bedroom door. A glass of water sat on the bedside table, and Jackie reached for it, drinking like she had spent days trapped in the Sahara.

"Steven?" Jackie called softly.

Silence answered her.

Jackie turned Steven's clock radio towards her, squinting at the bright red numbers. She'd been asleep for three hours.

Swinging her legs over the side of the cot, Jackie stood slowly, shuffling her way out of the room. The TV lit up the large room, throwing long shadows across the floor. The light was like a beacon and Jackie held up her hand, shielding her eyes.

"Steven?"

Popping up from his spot on the couch, Steven rubbed at his eyes. "You're awake? Did you get sick?"

"No," Jackie mumbled, walking around the couch. She tugged at the end of the t-shirt, her bare legs erupting in gooseflesh from the chilly air. "I'm cold, Puddin'."

Steven laid back on the couch, holding up the crochet blanket covering his chest and legs, a silent invitation. Jackie curled into him, shivering as their skin made contact.

Blustering heat, like a furnace, washed over her as she settled into his body. He was like a fire, heartening and warm. Steven wrapped his arms about her, covering them both with the blanket. He pressed a kiss to her hair, settling into the worn cushions.

His fingers worked through her hair, tugging at the silky strands, and working free a few tangles. They watched the TV in silence, the light bright against their retinas. When Jackie jolted awake again, the TV was playing static. Humming buzzed in her ears, and Jackie stood, flipping the switch off. Steven scratched at his chest, his body shadowy and silhouetted in the sudden darkness. He stretched, limbs long on the short couch, and groaned as he stood. Wordlessly, they moved back to Steven's cot, curling together onto the thin mattress, and falling deeply asleep.

-x-

Steven ripped the head off of the stuffed teddy bear Jackie had given him last Valentine's Day. A yell escaped him, and he threw the offending object as hard as he could across the room. The plush toy bounced off the concrete, settling onto the floor, its stitched mouth grinning up at him.

"Fucking, stupid, piece of shit!" Steven kicked at the bear's head, sending it flying under the green armchair. Stuffing tumbled across the rug.

Kelso and Fez watched, unsure, from the doorway. Their eyes were round, following each destruction with a growing sense of unease.

Steven rounded on his records. He jumped onto the bed, settling on his knees. With shaking fingers he began to filter through the collection.

"Fucking, stupid," Steven muttered. His skin felt itchy. His blood pounded through his veins. "Stupid, stupid, idiot. I don't know why I trusted she'd be smart about this. Wait for a fucking minute before deciding that was it."

ABBA was next. He yanked the cardboard sleeves off the shelf, throwing them behind him onto the floor. "Stupid fucking disco."

"Uh oh," Fez mumbled from the doorway.

"You know!" Steven spun on his knees, facing his friends. Manic anger squeezed his gut. "You know what really gets me?"

Kelso glanced at Fez. "What?"

Steven yanked the last album, the Bee Gee's, from his collection, tossing it onto the floor with the others. "Some crazy, spoiled, whack job is gonna pull this shit. What? Does she think she can bribe me to do as she wishes?"

Kelso and Fez stepped back as Steven gestured at them, his arms wide.

"What, like I gotta decide my entire fucking life right now?" Steven bent at the waist, gathering the records. He held them in both hands, his rage bending the vinyl. _Saturday Night Fever_ split in two with a pop. "Like I'm gonna let some ninety pound cyst leech the life out of me?"

"Maybe you should not break those," Fez pointed to the records in Steven's hands, "you know, in case you and Jackie get back together."

"Yeah, man, trust me." Kelso piped up. "I know from experience that breaking the stuff that Jackie gets you while you're on a break only leads to more fighting when she eventually comes back around."

"Quit!" Steven threw ABBA's Greatest Hits. "Talking!" Kelso ducked. "About!" The vinyl shattered against the cement wall. "Jackie like she's still with you!"

"Well, she's not with you any more." Kelso pointed out softly.

Steven panted. "I could punch you in the face right now, Kelso, and not feel a damn thing about it."

"Oh, not the face, that's his money." Fez's fingers wound together.

Grabbing an empty box, Steven opened the bottom drawer of his dresser, throwing Jackie's possessions into it pell-mell. He wadded up her cheer uniform, hating the mental picture that immediately appeared. Her, bent over his bed, hands on her ankles as she teased him tantalizingly slow with her cheer routine. White dots sprang into his vision.

"All I said was 'I don't know'! I don't know! What? Like that's a crime now?" Steven pushed the box away from him. "She gonna report me to the Japanese and force me into a repeat of the Bataan Death March?"

"That's taking it slightly far," Fez said softly.

"Get her shit out of here," Steven said. He threw the decapitated teddy bear into the box, topping them off with the records.

Fez picked up the box. "What do you want us to do with it?"

"Burn it!" Steven yelled, his voice catching. "Destroy it, I don't give a shit!"

Fez held the box uncertainly. He shared a meaningful look with Kelso, exiting the room with box in tow. Fez set the box on top of the freezer, folding the flaps together. The basement was full of ample hiding places. But Hyde knew them better than anyone. Fez's dark eyes scanned the crowded room, considering the space under the stairs, and the shower itself. Both were places Steven would find the box, being places he typically hid his stash.

Fez carried the box across the basement, stopping at the small closet behind the shower. He pushed aside boxes of ornaments, and old sweaters, setting the box of Jackie's things in the back corner. Fez replaced the other boxes, wiping the dust off of his hands onto his pants.

"You'll thank me one day, Hyde" Fez said softly to himself, standing. He hoped One Day would come here soon.

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 **Don't hate me. I wanted to follow loosely with the show's outline. Cause there is a reason why they break up; Hyde truly isn't all that great to her, (terrible writing by the series writers, in my opinion.) and honestly, I don't blame her for wanting the best for herself. That's one of the reasons Jackie is my favorite characters. Never fear! I'll do justice by them.**


	12. Chapter 12

**The Seeker**

 _The Next Day:_

 _When I was young,_

 _I never needed anyone._

 _And makin' love was just for fun_

 _Those days are gone…_

Jackie turned up the volume on her hi-fi, settling back onto the pouf before her vanity. Steven's letters were scattered across the glass top, resting against her perfume bottles and makeup. His handwriting stared up at her, taunting her with their sentences, limericks, and hastily drawn cartoons. Tall pink pillar candles lit the room in a dark, soft glow, perched on every available surface. Rose hues bathed the furniture, throwing long shadows over the magazine cutouts of Donny Osmond, and Leif Garrett. The white eyelet lace curtains over her window had been pulled tightly shut, and draped over the rod was one of the dark chenille bedspreads Jackie had yanked off the guest bed down the hall.

A deep sigh pushed against her teeth, and Jackie let it whistle slowly from her lips, her body deflating, shoulders sagging.

 _Livin' alone_

 _I think of all the friends I've known._

 _But when I dial the telephone_

 _Nobody's home._

An open shoebox sat on Jackie's lap. She had decorated the outside with different magazine clippings, and stickers. Hearts, torn in half; a picture of Sid and Nancy Spungen. A Cupid with its wings torn from its body. Jackie fingered the lip of the box, her dark eyes, swollen from tears, fixed on the empty cavity.

 _All by myself,_

 _Don't want to be, all by myself anymore,_

 _All by myself,_

 _Don't want to live, all by myself anymore._

Gathering up the letters, Jackie began to reorganize them. She tapped the edges together on the glass top, neatly stacking them. Solemnly, she grabbed the lavender hair ribbon laid flat before the mirror, sliding it through her fingers.

It was the first ribbon Steven had acknowledged. She could still feel his fingers, rough and tender, rising up to tease her ponytail. They had gently run over the silk ribbon and then, slightly rougher, had wrapped about her hair, tugging her head back, exposing her neck to the ministrations of his mouth.

"Stop it." Jackie commanded herself.

Her traitorous body reacted to the memory, and she rocked her pelvis forward, pressing her now aching center into the stool, alleviating her want. God, did she still want him.

"No, that's done."

 _Hard to be sure,_

 _Sometimes I feel so insecure,_

 _And love so distant, and obscure_

 _Remains the cure._

Jackie tied the lavender ribbon around the letters, tucking them first into the shoebox. Ticket stubs, a dried corsage from the Valentine's Day Dance, and a mix-tape of rock that Steven had insisted she listen to. She fingered the tape, his scrawled words across the side ( _this is not a collection of love songs_ ), and remembered how she had felt when she had first heard it. A surge of love; a surge of sexual want.

They had made love three times that night, in this very room, listening to the songs that made Steven think of her.

Jackie glanced behind her at her bed, the flowered comforter pulled tight over the mattress. A mattress that would no longer hold Steven.

What Steven had been so remiss to admit, was that every song _was_ a love song. A way for him to tell Jackie that he loved her. How much he loved her. _The Rain Song._ _Live and Let Die. Prisoner of Your Eyes._ Zeppelin, Wings, Judas Priest, The Rolling Stone. Steven was much more transparent than he thought. And Jackie could read him better than anyone.

Well, she used to be able to.

Jackie placed the lid on the box, fanning her fingers over the top. She had taken her heart, given it to a boy that she felt was worthy. Through all the things that had been through, all their shared childhood hurts, and all he could give her in return was _I don't know._

Standing, Jackie moved slowly across her room, stopping at her closet. She felt the hot pricking of tears, and settled onto her knees. Moving aside her shoes and her suitcases, Jackie placed the box of Steven, the box of her true love, next to her Michael box at the back of her closet.

Closing the closet door softly, Jackie reset the needle, letting Eric Carmen's voice fill her dark room, and fell onto her bed with a sigh, tears leaching out of the corners of her eyes and collecting in the shells of her ears.

-x-

 _She would never say where she came from_

 _Yesterday don't matter if it's gone,_

 _While the sun is bright,_

 _Or in the darkest night_

 _No one knows, she comes and goes._

Steven lay back on his cot, staring up at the ceiling. Wispy tendrils of smoke curled through the otherwise still air.

 _Goodbye Ruby Tuesday,_

 _Who could pin a name on you?_

 _When you change with every new day,_

 _Still, I'm gonna miss you._

Bringing the roach clip to his mouth, Steven held the joint to his lips, barely sucking on the damp paper.

The entire day was a blur. A waste of time. He hadn't burned out like this in years. Years since he'd been Jackie's boy toy. A crazy, spoiled, whack job.

The Feds. Kelso threatening the president's life. Letting loose a pack of dogs from the dogcatcher's van. And then Jackie. Showing back up to the basement, waltzing through the door like she owned the fucking place. She had looked perfectly fucking fine. Like nothing bothered her.

And that had cut the worst.

Perhaps he deserved it. Maybe he had been a total shit to her all this time.

 _Don't question why she needs to be so free_

 _She'll tell you it's the only way to be_

 _She just can't be chained_

 _To a life where nothing's gained_

 _And nothing's lost, at such a cost._

Steven reached blindly behind him, dropping the roach clip into a small porcelain-smoking tray he had found amongst the other discarded possessions in the basement closet.

"Spoiled, crazy, whack job." Steven muttered. He whispered it like a mantra all day. Under his breath, his face turned away from the guys.

The Rolling Stones slowly rotated on his turntable. Mick crooned, and Steven relaxed into the cot. His eyes felt heavy, each blink a weight that took all his energy to open them again.

Truth be told, he felt cheated. Here he was, a man, and not always a good one, who had given all the things he could. Honesty. Passion. He hadn't lied to her, about any thing, and yet, it wasn't good enough. Nothing was ever good enough for her. She wanted too much. She wanted more than anyone could give. Expectations and wants and needs that left the person under her scrutiny blindsided when she decided she didn't want them anymore.

There had been rumors, in high school, of just what she could do. String a boy along, lead him on, flirt at parties, and then flit away, like nothing had ever happened, leaving them with raging hard-ons and filled with confusion. Granted it only happened at parties where Kelso was, and only when they were on a break, but still- Steven should have known.

A tiger didn't change it's stripes.

 _Goodbye Ruby Tuesday,_

 _Who could pin a name on you?_

 _When you change with every new day,_

 _Still, I'm gonna miss you_

His room felt empty. All the things that had made it warm were gone. He had purged it of her in a fit of rage, and now that it was gone, he couldn't bring himself to ask for it back. Steven missed every item.

In the solitude of his bedroom, he let his vulnerability surface. Coated with THC he did something he hadn't done in years. Not since he was a boy, when Edna had let one of her boyfriends beat Steven for spilling juice on the floor.

A tear fell, hugging the curve of his cheek. Angrily he swiped it away. Another fell, and Steven held the backs of his knuckles to his eyes, pressing his hands into the sockets. Saline wet his skin and Steven felt the pressure rise in his chest. Begrudgingly, he let them fall.

 _"There's no time to lose", I heard her say  
Catch your dreams before they slip away  
Dying all the time  
Lose your dreams and you will lose your mind  
Ain't life unkind?_

Ashamed. He felt ashamed.

"Steven?"

Startled, Steven bolted upright, wiping angrily at his cheeks. He stubbed out the roach, starting the small fan on his chest of drawers. The clouds of smoke dispersed, but not the scent. Steven cursed, his voice loud in his ears. The Rolling Stones clicked to an end, the tone arm coming to rest back in its cradle.

Red rapped on the door again, slightly more insistent.

"Comin'!" Steven called, wiping his hands obsessively over his face.

Steven shoved the rolled bath towel at the bottom of the door out of the way, opening the door. He panted, out of breath.

Red's eyes narrowed, briefly peaking over Steven's shoulder into the room, and then back. He nodded his head, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "Steven."

"Red." Steven cleared his throat, closing the door slightly, hoping to keep the scent of marijuana trapped in his room.

"Get dressed and meet me up in the garage. I need your help with something." Red left without another word, disappearing out the exterior basement door.

Steven cursed, biting his lip. He shoved his boots onto his feet, shoving his arms into a coat. Red must've found a stash, or maybe his cache of beer. Or maybe he knew that Steven was coating his misery with illegal drugs. Something. There were only a handful of reasons Red would ever want to see Steven in the garage, and none of them were good.

Taking the stairs two at a time, Steven arrived at the open garage door breathless. He paused on the drive, just outside the door, looking in at Red.

"I need some help with this," Red said, pointing to the Toyota's open hood. "Damn alternator's busted."

"Oh," Steven said, taking a step forward. His voice cracked, and his puffy skin ached in the cold. He sniffled, then immediately cleared his throat in an attempt to hide it. "Yeah, Red, man, look-"

Red grabbed a wrench from the workbench, holding it out to Steven. An invitation. "You 'look', Steven." The wrench hung in the air between them. "I could really use your help here, son."

Steven's hand rose, pinching his lower lip between his pointer finger and thumb. The smell of gasoline and turpentine cut through the scent of marijuana that clung to his nostril hairs. Red looked at him expectantly, the wrench taut in his grasp. "You think you can manage?"

"Yeah," Steven took the wrench. "Yeah, alright."

"Good." Red said, relaxing. He flipped on the small portable radio, settling on a country station. "Now, you disconnect the battery leads, and I'll get this air filter off."

"Yeah." Steven bent over the hood of the car.

They worked efficiently, moving about the garage like two dancers, never touching, never in the others way. Steven removed the mounting bolts, palming them. He pulled the alternator free, handing the piece to Red at his side.

Cold winter air blew outside, swirling snow down the drive to pile at the curb. Steven leaned back against the hood of the car. He set the mounting bolts aside, wiping his hands on a towel.

It was like a sixth sense. One minute, his mind was blank, listening to Waylon Jennings. The next, it was focused on Jackie. She stood sentinel in the drive, her hands deep in her jacket pockets. The heels of her boots clicked on the concrete as she came to a stop, and she seemed serene, calm as she stared at him. Zen.

He had taught her that. _Oh, rainy day woman, I never seem to see you for the good times, or the sunshine. You have been a friend of mine, rainy day woman._

Steven pushed off of the hood of the Toyota, stepping towards her. Magnetic, the effect she had on him. But she had already turned away, ponytail swinging. He watched her hips sway, the tight way she stepped down the drive. Jackie turned the corner at the hedge line, never looking back.

Inhaling deeply, Steven turned away, surprised when he caught Red staring at him.

"What?" Steven asked, more harshly than he meant to.

Red's eyebrows rose. He removed the bearing from the alternator. The wind whistled through the barren trees in the backyard, scratching against the roof of the garage. Time seemed to pause as Steven waited.

"Did I ever tell you-" Red started, setting down the alternator and opening the fridge. He pulled out two cans of beer, offering one to Steven. "-About Eloise Arthur?"

Steven fiddled with the pull-tab on his beer. His brain felt thick; hazy with the pot he had spent the day smoking. Forman, he knew, was passed out up in his bed. Part of him wished he had been able to do the same.

Red took a seat at his workbench, sipping at his beer. "Eloise was great. She was the first girl I loved."

Pulling roughly back the tab of his beer, Steven took a long pull. He leaned against the front fender of the Toyota, sinking to sit on the cold concrete.

"Yeah, we had a good thing. She was a hot little number too," Red chuckled. "In a lot of ways, she made me a better man. But she was too young. I was too young. And I thought that I would never survive when she ended things."

Steven gulped. He rested his forearms on his propped knees and looked up at Red. "So how'd you get over her?"

Red's eyebrows rose as he thought it over. He shifted his weight, glancing down the drive. "What I'm about to tell you, Steven, this stays between us men. Kitty better not hear of this ever. I know fourteen different ways to kill a man, and that's silently."

"Yeah, Red, of course," Steven said. "I won't say a word."

Clearing his throat, Red met Steven's eye. "Truthfully, Steven. I didn't ever really get over her. I just _stopped_ thinking of her. And then I met Kitty, and Kitty filled holes in my heart that I never thought anyone would fill."

"Wow, Red, that's very, uh, romantic of you."

"Don't be a smartass."

"Sorry."

"Eloise was my first love. She was the girl who knew me better than anyone, could read me like a book, and it seemed like my life would never go on with those words."

Steven felt his breath pause. "What words?"

"'I need more than this. I need to know the man I love can take care of me.'" Red scoffed. "As if going off to war wasn't enough."

Steven let his legs straighten before him, perching his beer on his thigh. "Sounds familiar."

"The point is, Steven, I found someone better for me than Eloise. Kitty is an amazing woman." Red drained his beer, tapping the edge of the empty can on the workbench. "And you will too." He gestured down the drive where Jackie had disappeared. "Jackie is a good girl. I've never met another girl who can hold a flashlight, or fix a carburetor like her. And her mother," Red whistled softly, "chances are those genes will stick. But sometimes, things happen for a reason. Even if you can't see it now."

"Thanks, Red." Steven said. He finished his beer, crushing the can in his fingers.

"Right," Red stood, clearing his throat again. "Let's finish this alternator. Kitty's making fried chicken tonight."

Steven looked down the empty drive. He sighed under his breath, wondering how long exactly it would be before he was over Jackie.

-x-

Jackie lunged against the hedge, her chest rising and falling rapidly. She pressed back into the dense foliage, squeezing her eyes closed as tears threatened to fall.

What was it was Sensei had said just hours before? That she would be fine without a man? Jackie just had to remember that. How it had felt to use her fists, knees, and feet to beat the crap out of that crackpot instructor. That she could survive without a man to protect her. And love her. And give her gifts.

A sob escaped her lips, and Jackie's eyes opened, hoping Red and Steven hadn't heard on the other side of the hedge. The back of her hand rose to her mouth and she bit on her knuckles. Just when she had control over her emotions, one peak at Steven, looking as vulnerable as she felt, wrecked it all.

She hadn't expected to see him in the garage. Donna and Jackie had sat at the breakfast table, eating brownies and visiting with Mrs. Forman. It was the balm her tortured soul needed. Almost, just almost, she had almost forgotten that her and Steven were broken up. Then seeing him, grease on his cheek, his uncovered eyes looking bluer than she could recall them ever being…

Jackie shoved off the hedge, trekking down the sidewalk towards home. Her nose stung, and snow coated her shoulders. She slipped on the icy walk, but didn't cry out.

She would be fine. She would do all the things she wanted. She was Jackie Burkhart. And then she would find a man who would fit into her new life. This was going to be ok. She was going to be ok. With, or without, Steven at her side.

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 **A/N: This is shorter than I'm used to putting out there, but it's a bit of a filler before the next chapter. Thank you for all your reviews. I know that last chapter was a doozy.**

 **Songs:**

 **Eric Carmen, All By Myself released in 1975.**

 **The Rolling Stones, Goodbye Ruby Tuesday released in 1967**

 **Waylon Jennings, Rainy Day Woman 1974**


	13. Chapter 13

**The Seeker**

Steven turned away, pressing his forehead against the cool window. His sunglasses pressed into the bridge of his nose, pinching his skin. Crossing his arms over his chest, he sank lower in his seat, hoping to catch a bit of shuteye. Exhaustion washed over him, his belly full with cheap stadium hot dogs and peppermint hot chocolate.

The packed Cruiser sailed on in silence, its occupants spent from a day at Lambeau Field. Fez snored softly beside him, his head resting on the back of the seat, mouth gaping wide. Kelso was curled against his side, head on Fez's shoulder. Steven shifted position, his eyes for a moment settling on Jackie in the front seat.

She was stuffed between Mr. Forman and Donna, her eyes wide and staring straight ahead through the windshield. Her beret was as jaunty as when they had left this morning, and he had the sudden urge to boing the pom-pom attached to the top. His hands gripped his sides, and he turned his face away again so he couldn't see her anymore.

It was the tears that had brought him off of his anger. Seeing her break down, saline dripping down her cheeks and soaking the neck of her top. His first instinct was to protect her, wrap her in his arms. It was their history. She cried; he beat up whoever hurt her. Usually it involved Kelso and an eye patch.

Only thing was, Steven didn't know how to beat himself up to feel worse than he already did. Heartbroken and miserable; the first emotion was he wasn't used to feeling, the second he was well acquainted with.

Mr. Forman's baldhead reflected in the window, and Steven watched the lights over the interstate brighten his shinning scalp. His eyes drifted shut. Thoughts raced through his mind. Jackie's tear-stained face. The way he had reached out to her, wrapping her in his embrace. It was instinct. The feeling of her pressed against him once more, the first time in a week that felt more like a lifetime. Spectators filtered around them, Jackie's head perched under his chin as she softly cried.

And then she had pulled away, her hands shoving against his stomach. Daintily she wiped under her eyes. Her eyes were rimmed in red and she briefly met his gaze.

"This didn't happen, Steven," Jackie said, slipping away.

"Jackie!" Steven called after her. His hands perched on his hips.

But she didn't turn back. However she was punishing him, it was cutting deep. How many times did he need to reach out to her before she just apologized?

Steven sighed, his cheek cool on the window. Mr. Forman sang along to the radio, signaling the exit for Point Place. Fez drifted towards him with the motion of the car turning onto Main Street. Steven didn't shake off Fez's head as the foreigner curled against him. The car was uncomfortably warm with the heater on full blast, and the added heat of Fez's body closer to Steven.

"Alright, dumbasses! Wake up!" Mr. Forman's voice cut through the still air, startling the other occupants. He turned onto Marie Street, the Cruiser's engine purring as they drifted towards home.

Kelso groaned loudly, stretching his long arms in the cramped space. Fez rubbed at his eyes, staring blearily around the car.

Steven cleared his throat, his eyes fixed down at his crotch. The Cruiser jolted as Mr. Forman pulled into the drive. Everyone began to gather their things, mumbling softly as they exited the car. Donna and Eric disappeared into the kitchen, their arms wrapped about one another in a disgusting display of solidarity.

Kelso and Fez waved a goodbye, clambering into Kelso's small convertible. The small car's engine revved ostentatiously as Kelso floored it down the street. Steven leaned against the back of the Cruiser, watching it disappear. He chewed his lips as Jackie walked around the back of the car, pausing at the fender.

Silence stretched between them. Jackie's hands rose, pressing deeply into her coat pockets. She rocked on her feet, waiting almost expectantly for Steven to say something.

"Well, this sucks." Steven stared hard at her, memorizing the curve of her face.

"Yeah," Jackie supplied. She nodded, taking a step down the drive.

"Used to be we could just…" Steven scratched a side burn. "Hang out, y'know?"

"Yeah," Jackie repeated. "Doesn't really work out so well anymore."

The wind gusted, and they both shivered. Jackie smiled softly at Steven, turning away. She was halfway down the drive when Steven caught up to her.

"Let me walk you."

Jackie stopped. "No, Steven, that's alright."

"The Camino then, it's cold." Steven pointed to the car parked on the curb. Frigid air shook the bare trees, and old snow swirled down the street.

Jackie pondered the Camino, her shoulders raised to her ears. "I think I'd rather walk."

"You'll freeze before you get to the corner," Steven said, chuckling softly.

Jackie looked at Steven for a long time, her dark eyes unblinking. Finally, after what seemed like an hour, she turned, headed for the Camino. "Oh, fine. But no talking."

Steven unlocked the door for Jackie, slamming it closed behind her. The Camino's cab was freezing. Steven rubbed his hands together, sliding the key into the ignition. Jackie leaned forward, cranking up the heater. She turned down the volume on the radio, tuning it from WFPP to a pop station. Steven felt like he had been dropped back in time. Despite the fact they'd been broken up for a week, Jackie was treating the Camino like they were still dating.

Settling back in her seat, Jackie gave Steven a look that clearly asked 'what', her eyebrows rising.

"You ready, Princess?" Steven asked, shaking out the gearshift, moving up the tree to first.

Jackie sucked her upper lip into her mouth, remaining silent.

The short drive to the Burkhart's went much quicker than Steven would have hoped. Jackie remained true to her demands, never speaking. Try as he might, Steven couldn't think of a thing to say. There were the usual topics; slutty cheerleaders, Jackie's hair/skin/nails, or the ever present topic that had ruled the end of their relationship, their future.

None of them sounded good, except perhaps the last one. Their future, or lack of one, was still a sore topic. Steven hoped she would cave, break her silence and say something, anything. But her silence spoke louder than any words she could have said to him.

The gravel drive crunched under the Camino's tires, and Jackie perched forward, her hand gripping the door handle. She barely waited for the car to roll to a stop before she had opened the door.

"Thanks for the ride, Steven," Jackie said, her tone neutral. The door slamming rocked the Camino on its wheels.

The headlights lit Jackie's form as she crossed in front of the car, the pom-pom of her beret bouncing with her hurried steps.

Steven waited till she had entered the house, before he drove off. Her perfume lingered in the air, his heart pounded in his chest, and he told himself he didn't care that she hadn't spoken to him. After a day of back-handed comments, he tried to convince himself that the moments of silence they had shared in his car were just what he'd needed.

-x-

Jackie slammed the front door, tearing off up the stairs to her bedroom. She threw herself across her bed, yanking the white telephone receiver from its cradle. Her pointer finger stung as she punched in the numbers, waiting with bated breath as the line rang and rang.

"Hello?"

"Donna!" Jackie yelled, her voice echoing in her own ear.

"Jesus!" Donna cursed, her voice sounding far away. "What, Jackie?"

"Steven drove me home, Donna." Jackie stated.

Donna was silent for a beat. "And you slept with him?"

"No!" Jackie cried. She sat on her bed, snatching the beret from her head. "Donna, we didn't speak at all!"

"Ok… Jackie, you're gonna have to explain to me what the big deal is here," Donna sighed, "I thought you didn't want to speak to him ever again?"

"Well, of course I _said_ that, Donna. It wasn't the truth!"

"Uh huh."

"I want him to come back on bended knee and apologize for being a complete jerk!"

"Uh huh."

"I want to not think of him anymore, Donna," Jackie fingered the pom-pom. "Oh! Why is this so hard? It was never like this with Michael. A box of chocolates, and a good cry, and it was like that sleaze ball had never been a part of my life."

"Maybe because you actually love Hyde?" Donna supplied.

"I loved Michael too."

"Yeah, but it was different with you and Hyde." The line crackled on Donna's end, like she was moving around. "I've said it once, I've said it a million times."

Jackie rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah, give me something I can work with here, Donna."

"What do you want me to say, Jackie?" Donna clucked her tongue. The line held a ring of static. Jackie twirled the phone cord around her fingers, tangling the white plastic. "Look, let's have a sleepover tomorrow. I'll let you give me a makeover and talk my ear off about Hyde."

Jackie slept fitfully, tossing and turning all night. She dreamt she was back at Lambeau Stadium, only this time when she antagonized Steven, he responded. Steven punched a dirty, sweaty cheese-head in the kisser, all because he had looked at Jackie wrong. She hadn't had to run off crying, cause Steven had spent the entire game staring at her, telling her how sorry he was, how their entire relationship had meant more to him than anything else in the world. At the end of the game, he had presented her with a four-carat princess-cut diamond, and she had cried beautifully, as everyone ooed and awed around them.

When she woke before the dawn, she felt incredibly sad and even more confused than before.

The sun had risen just over the horizon when Jackie left her house, headed for Donna's. She lugged her overnight bag, loaded down with cosmetics and magazines. Her breath crystalized before her lips and Jackie was panting by the time she made it to Marie Street.

Bob opened the door with a scowl. "Do you have any idea what time it is?"

"Good morning, Mr. Pinciotti." Jackie barged into the house past him. "I would've used my key, but I think I forgot it at home."

"You still have a key?" Bob asked, following Jackie through the living room. "What are you doing with a key?"

Jackie ignored his questions, taking the stairs two at a time. Her hairline was plastered to her forehead, and she felt sweat gathering under her arms.

"Donna!" Jackie pounded on the bedroom door. "Donna, wake up!"

Jackie pushed open the door before Donna responded. Eric sat bolt upright, staring at Jackie as she entered the room.

"Do you mind?" Eric asked, tucking the sheets up around his armpits. "Have a little decency!"

"Oh, grow up," Jackie said, dumping her bag.

"Jackie, I thought a sleepover happened, y'know, at night?" Donna said, rubbing at her eyes. She yawned, pushing a hand through her bedhead. "What time is it?"

"I don't know," Jackie said flippantly, "like seven?"

"Ughhhhh!" Eric fell back onto the bed. He pressed the heels of his palms into his eye sockets. "What will it take to make her go away?"

"Eric?" Donna said.

"Hmm?"

"Go away."

"Seriously?"

"She said beat it, Twizzler!" Jackie yelped.

Eric turned a baleful gaze on Jackie. "Well, would you at least turn around so I can get dressed?"

Jackie spun on her heel. "You're such a prude, Eric. It's not like you have anything special to hide."

Grumbling under his breath, Eric pulled on his clothes. He left the room in a huff, glaring over his shoulder as he closed the bedroom door.

"Oh, thank god," Jackie spun around, jumping onto Donna's bed. "Donna, I need your help."

"Hyde?" Donna asked, picking sleep from the corners of her eyes.

"No, with Jimmy Headgear."

"Hilarious," Donna muttered, getting up from bed. She wrapped herself in her bathrobe, shuffling across the carpet towards the door. "You hungry?"

"Donna, this is no time to think about food," Jackie stood atop Donna's bed, hands clenched at her sides. "This is about my future!"

"Fine, fine," Donna said, opening the door. She turned back to Jackie sentinel on the bed. "Tell me about your future downstairs."

Jackie bounded off of the bed, running across the carpet. "Donna. I need serious advice here. Ok? Like advice that the writers of Cosmo would need before they publish an article."

"You're not asking for much," Donna remarked. She pushed open the kitchen door, heading straight for the coffee maker. "Hyde drove you home last night? How did that happen? I thought after the spectacle you put on at the game he'd run you over and leave you in a ditch somewhere."

"I don't know!" Jackie sank onto a kitchen chair. "I told him I'd rather walk! He said I'd freeze. And Donna, I am too cute to freeze. Who else will give you fashion advice if I became a popsicle?"

Donna measured out coffee grounds, filling the reservoir with water. "And? So how did you end up in his car?"

"I couldn't think of a reason to not let him give me a ride home," Jackie's forehead dropped to rest in her palm. "So I just- I got in!"

"Did you make out with him?" Donna asked slyly, taking a seat at the table as the coffee maker began to brew. She grinned across the table at Jackie. "Fool around a bit?"

"Please, Donna, give me some credit." Jackie crossed her arms over her chest.

Donna's eyebrows rose.

"No!" Jackie sputtered. She leaned forward, her fingers picking at the edges of the placemat before her. "I mean, it was so awkward, Donna."

"Awkward?" Donna stood, moving to pour herself a cup of coffee. "I thought that car sex was, like, your bread and butter."

"We didn't do anything, Donna." Jackie curled the edge of the placemat. "It was so awkward because I told Steven I didn't want us to talk, and then he just _drove_! In complete silence! He didn't say anything!"

Donna blew steam from the top of her mug. "So you're mad because he did what you asked him to do?"

"Donna, when will you learn how to be a woman?" Jackie stood from the table, stalking across the kitchen like a caged panther. "When women say one thing, they actually mean the complete opposite."

Donna's eyes rolled hard in her head. She sipped her coffee. "It may surprise you to know, I am an actual woman."

"Could've fooled me with those Lumberjack body proportions."

"Alright, this has been fun. Have a good time figuring out how to get Hyde back."

"Donna!" Jackie grabbed her friend's arm, stopping her from leaving the kitchen. "I'm sorry. I just… I just feel so out of sorts."

The pair sat once more at the table. Silence opened between them for a few moments, the only sound the coffee maker popping and hissing in the far corner.

"In my heart, Donna, I know I have every reason to be mad at Steven." Jackie felt the hot prickling of tears. "I gave him my heart and he stomped all over it in those god-awful boots of his uncles. All I wanted was for him to commit. And, yes, I know that eventually, I'll stop thinking of him."

"But you don't want to." Donna stated.

Jackie shook her head.

"Maybe you need to go out on a date?" Donna traced the rim of her coffee cup with her pointer finger. "Help get your mind off of Hyde."

"I don't want to go out on a date though, Donna. I want Steven to realize what a complete ass he's been and make it up to me."

"It helped me to stop thinking of Eric so much, when you set me up with Casey."

Jackie cupped her chin. "It'd be so much easier if I wanted to hurt Steven."

Donna sipped her coffee, nodding. "Yeah, I guess I understand. I mean, with Casey, I did. I really wanted to hurt Eric. Of course, I didn't realize that till much later."

"That's because you're a man trapped in a woman's body."

"Thanks."

"What do I do, Donna?" Jackie whined. "I thought after the Packers game I'd have more answers. But I'm more confused than ever! Last night I even dreamed that Steven proposed."

"What did the ring look like?"

"Gorgeous, obviously." Jackie stared off, lost in thought. "My dream ring."

Donna fingered her ring finger, staring down at the bare skin. "Remember the night of the LOPPS party?"

"Yeah," Jackie said slowly, bringing her gaze to Donna. "What about it? Did Steven say he was going to propose? Did I miss my chance?"

"No!" Donna exclaimed. "I mean, I don't know. No, what I was going to ask was if you remembered when I asked you about me and Eric."

"Oh." Jackie sat straighter. Her gaze dropped. The placemat had curled around the edges, creased where her fingers had pinched the fabric over and over.

Donna swallowed thickly. "Do you think Eric and I will get married? Honestly, Jackie."

Jackie bit the inside of her cheek. She found she couldn't look away, nor could she answer Donna's question. What the hell was happening to her? Gone was the sadistic cheerleader. Gone was the vindictive ex-girlfriend. She couldn't even lie to her best friend. What kind of friend was she?

"I don't know, Donna," Jackie found herself saying.

A weird, alien feeling settled in the pit of Jackie's stomach. The organ clenched, butterflies racing through her veins. She hoped that Donna wouldn't notice the flush that had crept up her neck.

"I planned on hanging out in the basement." Donna stood, draining the last of her coffee. She rinsed the mug in the sink, setting it on the drying rack. "You coming with?"

"Will Steven be there?"

Donna shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe? Maybe he works today. I don't keep track of his whereabouts."

"Well, then what use are you, Donna!" Jackie screeched, stalking out of the kitchen.

-x-

Steven gritted his teeth, his eyes darting to look at Jackie seated as far from him as possible. She was examining a lock of hair between her fingers, her mouth pursed. Having found a split end, she plucked the strand free from the others, pulling the split end apart.

"Man, Gilligan is a complete stooge," Kelso said from his spot on the couch.

Eric and Fez made twin noises of agreement.

Jackie released the lock of hair, her hands grasping the arms of the lawn chair.

Donna shared a look with Steven he couldn't decipher.

"Anyone hungry?" Fez asked from his spot on the floor between Kelso's legs. "The Hub?"

"Fatso Burger?" Steven looked to each of his friends and his ex in turn.

"Ugh, all we ever eat is greasy fast food." Jackie's legs stopped moving.

"What do you suggest then?" Eric asked.

"What about that new Mexican place over off of Turner?" Donna suggested.

"I could go for some enchiladas." Steven's stomach growled with the thought.

"Greasy Mexican food." Jackie.

"You can get a salad, princess," Donna said. She stood from the couch, stepping over Fez. "We going, or what?"

"Yeah, let's do this." Steven stood from his chair, stepping over Fez and meeting Donna by the door. He ignored the way Jackie jumped from the lawn chair before he passed her, taking away any happenchance of 'accidentally' touching her.

Abuela's Mexican Restaurant smelled of fresh tortillas and overcooked chilies. Spanish music played overhead. Multi-colored banners lined the walls, crisscrossing over the ceiling. The vinyl booth was sticky, and a sour faced waitress in a traditional Mexican dress slapped down a bowl of salsa and chips, setting a stack of menus at the head of the table.

Steven took the proffered menu from Eric, glancing up at Jackie across from him over the top of the dirty menu. She stared at the menu, sucking on her upper teeth.

"Drinks?" The server asked, her pen poised over her notepad.

"A margarita, no salt." Donna ordered.

"Same." Eric.

"Same." Steven.

"Same, but with salt." Jackie.

"No salt." Fez.

"I'll have what he's having." Kelso nudged Fez's shoulder.

The waitress smacked her gum, copying down the order. "Alright."

"Did you guys see Mr. Henderson's yard this morning?" Kelso asked as the waitress walked away. He leaned out of the booth, watching her walk away to the bar. Sliding back into his seat, his smirked around at his friends. "Someone totally TP'd his lawn."

"Wasn't it you?" Fez asked, dipping a tortilla chip into the salsa. "It looked like the work of a Kelso."

"Nah, it wasn't me," Kelso stuffed a salsa loaded chip in his mouth, "I was out with Brooke and Betsy last night."

"It wasn't me," Hyde said, noticing the gaze of his friend's turn to him.

"What were you up to last night?" Eric leaned around Donna to see Hyde. "I wanted to come get some film from you last night, after we got home. You weren't there."

Jackie's dark eyes stared at Steven.

"Oh, uhm." Steven cleared his throat. "I, ugh, had a date. Of sorts."

Jackie's dark eyes bore holes through Steven's face. "'Of sorts'?"

"A date? With who?" Kelso asked excitedly, oblivious to the obvious tension that had settled over the table. "Oh! Did you call Allison Daniels like I told you? Man… She's got some moves in the sack."

"After the Packer's game?" Donna asked, a tortilla chip poised before her mouth. She glanced at Jackie, then back to Hyde. "We got home so late, what girl would go out for a date beginning at midnight?"

"Here we are." The waitress set down heavy schooner's full of frozen margarita before each occupant. Shoving the tray under her arm she cocked a hip. "Ready to order?"

They each read off their order, passing the menus down the table. Jackie bent over her schooner, sucking down her margarita. She held her hair back from her face, her cheeks filling with frozen drink.

"How was she?" Kelso asked, leaning closer to Steven. "Did she do that thing with her tongue?"

Jackie coughed, choking on margarita. She clutched at her chest as tears leaked from the corners of her eyes.

"Jackie!" Fez handed her his napkin, pounding on her back. "Are you alright?"

"I'm perfect," Jackie wheezed. "I need to go to the restroom. Donna?"

Donna shoved Eric out of the booth, waiting as Kelso and Fez slid out to let Jackie free. The two girls disappeared to the back of the restaurant, the boys watching them go.

"Allison Daniels?" Eric asked. He twirled the small umbrella in his drink. "Man, Kelso, did you have to say that in front of Jackie?"

"What?" Kelso asked. "What'd I do?"

"You didn't have to say anything in front of Jackie." Steven said. "Especially since nothing happened with Allison."

"Wait, you mean, you didn't sleep with her?" Eric asked.

"No!" Steven exclaimed. "I brought a spliff and we smoked up her car. Then I left."

"Uh, huh, sure," Kelso said slyly. "You just don't want us to know you did her."

"Because I didn't do her." Steven defended. "She called, she asked if I had any bud to sell, and I was already out anyway."

"You went out after the Packer's game? What were you doing out?" Eric sipped his drink.

"Well, _dad_ , I took Jackie home."

"You _what_?"

Steven pulled his margarita closer, taking two long gulps. The frozen concoction froze his tongue and cheeks, a sharp pain rising to the spot between his eyebrows. He sat back in the booth. "It was cold. What was I supposed to do? Let her freeze and die somewhere in a ravine?"

"You still love her." Fez nodded his head. "I understand."

"You still love Jackie?" Kelso's eyes held that wounded puppy-dog look. "Why?"

"All of ya need to shut up." Steven muttered.

Eric patted Steven's shoulder. "Yeah, guys, shut up. It's hard enough that he's in love with the devil."

"Shut it, Forman," Steven shook off Eric's hand.

The girls arrived back to the table just as the food was being served. Jackie refused to sit in her same seat, making Fez and Kelso move down so she was sitting at the end. Her eyes were red-rimmed and glassy. The salad they brought her was limp and filled with greasy taco meat, and Jackie poked around at it, eating a couple of tomatoes before pushing it aside and sucking down her margarita.

By the end of the meal, Jackie was toasted, three empty schooner's before her and salad untouched. She glared angrily down the table at Steven, not even pretending to ignore him anymore. Anxiety settled over his shoulders and he found he couldn't stop glancing up at her. Worried she was thinking the wrong thing, knowing that was what she was doing. Steven inhaled his enchilada's, barely tasting them.

Snow had begun to fall as they left the restaurant. Steven zipped up his coat, shaking out his legs.

"Can I talk to you?"

Steven spun on his heel. Jackie was standing before him, arms crossed. She was puffed up and angry, her eyes narrowed.

"Uhm," Steven mumbled. Donna, Fez, Eric and Kelso stood around the Cruiser, watching them.

"Steven?" Jackie's arms tightened over her body.

"Yeah, sure," Steven said, already regretting his answer.

Steven followed Jackie around the side of the restaurant, stopping a several feet away from her. If experience had taught him anything, it was that an angry Jackie was a violent Jackie. He had finally lost the last bruise to his shin; he wasn't ready to add a new one.

Jackie turned on him. "You went out on a date?"

"Date is a strong word," Steven hooked his thumbs on his pockets. "It wasn't really a date."

"Then why did you call it one?"

"Because? I don't know. What do you care anyway? You broke up with me a week ago."

"Yeah," Jackie's voice rose, "a _week ago_ , Steven!"

"What do you want from me, Jackie?" Steven felt anger pulsing in his neck. "You ignore me, you chastise me, and you dumped me! You want me to just sit around, pining for you?"

Steven swallowed hard. She didn't need to know that was exactly what he was doing. Pining for her, wishing for her, missing her.

"No," Jackie said. But Steven knew her. He knew what she really meant.

"You sure about that, Jackie?" Steven took a step closer. "All you gotta do is apologize."

"Me? _Apologize?_ " Jackie shoved a finger into Steven's sternum. "Who do you think you are?"

Steven felt his anger take over him. He had suppressed emotions for as long as he could. He had fucking cried because of her.

"Who am I, who are you?" Steven's voice was sharp in the frigid air. "All you had to do was be patient. All you had to do was quit fucking asking the damn question. But no- you have to have everything exactly when you fucking want it. You don't care about what anyone else wants. You're nothing but a spoiled, rich, wannabe, little bit-"

Jackie slapped him. The echo of her fingers making contact with his skin rebounded off of the brick wall of the restaurant. Tears coursed over her cheeks and she reached up to slap him again, her face contorted in anger.

Steven grasped her wrist, stopping her before she could strike him. "Don't."

"I can't believe I ever loved you, Steven Hyde," Jackie sobbed. "You're such a jerk."

Yanking free, Jackie stepped away from him, leaving him alone. He heard the sound of a car door slamming. Pressing his hands to his eyes, Steven took a deep breath holding it in his lungs.

"Fuck."

He shouldn't have said what he said. He knew it was over the line before it began to formulate on his lips. All his life he had hated when men used derogatory names for women. Each time one of his 'Uncles'' had done such to Edna, he had retaliated against them, learning subterfuge through experience. And here he was, no better than them now. He wanted to punch something.

"Hyde?" Eric appeared around the side of the restaurant. "You ok, man? Jackie's really upset."

"Let's just go." Steven murmured, shoving past Eric.

-x-

The bark of the tree cut into Steven's fingers and palms. He hadn't shimmied up a tree in months, and he remembered why he didn't like it. The bark was slick and covered in ice. His boots didn't give him good traction, and he nearly slipped before he had reached Donna's window.

"Shit!" Steven cursed, sliding down the trunk. He regained his hold, reaching for the branch level with Donna's window. Settling onto the fork of the branch, Steven leaned forward, rapping his knuckles on the windowpane.

He pushed away the memory of the last time he had done this, scaled the tree to get in to Jackie. They had fucked in Bob's study, Jackie wearing his Zeppelin shirt and only his Zeppelin shirt. The memory was enough to get him hard.

Thumping on the window again, Steven steadied his hold. Light soaked the curtains covering the window, and Steven blinked in the light when the curtains were yanked back.

"Jackie?" Steven questioned, blinking the sudden brightness.

"Hyde?" Donna opened the window, glancing over her shoulder. "I don't think you should be here. Jackie's really upset."

"Look, I need to talk to her." Steven said. His fingers ached, and he switched hands on the tree branch. "Is she here?"

"Hyde-" Donna paused, glancing behind her into her room again. "Now is really not the time."

"Donna, this isn't your business. Either you let me in, or I'm breaking in."

"No, Hyde, it is my business. She's my friend, and you've really hurt her."

Steven began to descend the tree. "Alright, I'm picking the lock on the kitchen door. I gave you fair warning."

"Wait!" Donna hissed leaning out of the window. She bit her lip, her eyebrows furrowed. "Fine, come on. But I don't want to get involved."

"I don't want you to either."

Steven clambered through the window, falling onto the shag rug. He had just stood when the bedroom door opened.

"Donna, I couldn't find the Chips Ahoy-"

Jackie froze on the carpet.

"What the hell is he doing here?" Jackie questioned Donna.

"I need to talk to you."

"No."

"Jackie."

"Leave, Hyde." Jackie stormed out of the room.

Steven hurried after her, catching the door before Jackie could slam it shut. "Back to Hyde now, is it?"

"Go away!" Jackie cried, running down the stairs.

"No!" Steven followed her at a quick clip. Jackie slammed the door to the living room, catching Steven on the chin. He cursed, opening the door with a snap. Jackie's eyes were wide. She stood on the other side of the couch, keeping her distance.

Panting, Steven closed the living room door softly. He tongued his lip, his hand rising to rub at his stinging chin. "We need to talk."

Crossing her arms, Jackie cocked her hip. "About what, Steven? How much of a jerk you are?"

"Look, I shouldn't have called you what I did at the restaurant."

"You're right, you shouldn't have."

"Jackie, I'm sorry, ok?" Steven's hands rose, beseeching her. "What do you want me to do?"

"I don't want you to do anything, Steven." Jackie threw back. She began to pace the carpet.

"Well this is just ridiculous, Jackie," Steven took a step closer to the couch. "We need to talk, Jackie. About us."

"What about us?" Jackie stopped pacing. "How you don't want a future with me? About how much of a jerk you are?"

"I never said I didn't want a future with you!" Steven's and rose to pinch the bridge of his nose. "All I said was I didn't know."

"That's exactly the same as saying you don't want a future with me!" Jackie retorted.

"No, it's not! All you had to do was be patient with me, Jackie. All you had to do was wait."

"I've waited long enough," Jackie said, resuming her pacing. "I waited for Michael to make a choice, I waited for you. I don't understand why I have to keep waiting. What's so hard about knowing what you want?"

"I don't know," Steven began, sarcasm lacing his words, "maybe because I'm only nineteen? Maybe because I don't have the money saved up to support you, or buy you a house, or any of that other shit you want."

Jackie grew quiet. Chewing on her lower lip, Jackie rocked on her feet.

"I don't understand why you're pressuring me with this." Steven took a few steps around the couch, stopping when Jackie stepped away. "Look, Jackie, I-"

Silence pounded in both of their ears. Steven's heartbeat throbbed in his neck.

"Jackie, I love you. Why isn't that enough?"

"If you love me, then why did you go out with that slut, Allison Daniels?"

"Jackie nothing happened with Allison Daniels."

"Oh, so you just went to her house to, what, read her a bedtime story?"

"I didn't go to her house."

Jackie slapped her hands on her thighs. "Then what, Steven?"

"She had called before the game, asking if I had any bud." Steven shrugged. "That's what happened. I brought her a joint, and we smoked up her car."

"So she didn't make a move on you?"

Steven shrugged again, not answering her with words.

Jackie smirked, turning away. She disappeared into the kitchen, the door swinging in her wake.

Following her slowly, Steven entered the kitchen. Jackie's back was to the door. She leaned over the sink, her knuckles white, gripping the lip of the counter. "I can't do this, Steven."

"Can't do what?"

Turning to face him, Jackie leaned back against the counter. She wasn't crying. She looked exhausted. She scratched at her temple, avoiding meeting his eye.

"This is getting old, Steven," Jackie finally said. "This shouldn't be so hard."

Steven leaned on the island, staring down at the stovetop. "If it was easy, then it wouldn't be worth doing."

Jackie scoffed. "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. I always thought love was easy. It always seemed easy for my parents. For Mr. and Mrs. Forman."

"Believe me, it's not easy for Red and Mrs. Forman." Steven stood straight, resting his pelvis against the island. "I live with them, I hear their arguments."

"Love shouldn't be this hard." Jackie stated. She finally brought her eyes to him, studying him.

A ball of tension settled in the pit of his stomach. "Jackie, I swear, I didn't do anything with Allison Daniels. I'm sorry, ok? I'm sorry I didn't tell you I want to marry you, or anything else you want to hear. But I'm not gonna lie to you. I don't know, not right now. Why can't you just let that be ok for now?"

Jackie took a deep breath, letting it slowly from her parted lips. "I need to know, Steven. I need to know I'm not wasting my time on someone who doesn't know if they really love me."

"I know I really love you," Steven sputtered, on the defensive.

"Obviously you don't if you don't even know if you want to spend the rest of your life with me!"

"Goddammit."

It was Steven's turn to pace.

"I have goals, and plans, Steven!" Jackie pointed to herself, her voice thick with emotion. "I know what I want out of life, and I know I will do anything to achieve that. What do you know?"

Steven didn't rise to her bait. He paused mid-step, hands on his hips.

"You know, this is pointless." Jackie pushed off the counter. "All we do is go around in circles."

"Then break the pattern!" Steven said.

"For a life of uncertainty?" Jackie scoffed, pushing her hair back from her face. "No, thank you."

It was like she had slapped him in the face again. And maybe punched him in the gut for good measure. Never had he felt quite this inadequate. Never had he spilled his heart to someone. Now he knew why. She had taken the best of him, and stomped all over it in designer shoes.

A laugh of derision escaped his mouth.

"So this is really it?" Steven heard himself ask. "You're done trying?"

Cold indifference washed over him.

"Yeah, Steven," Jackie whispered. She clutched the sides of her robe. "This is it."

He laughed derisively once more, briefly looking up to the popcorn ceiling. "You know, I spent all this week, thinking and wondering just what it was that I did wrong." Steven looked at her, for the first time in a long time thinking she looked just as ugly on the outside as he had remembered thinking of her when he first met her. "I kept trying to think of how to make it up to you. Maybe just apologizing. Maybe giving in to what you want."

Jackie stared at him passively.

"And now," Steven smirked at her. "Now I know, it was you. You're the one who's messed up. You don't know a thing about loving someone. If you really loved me, you'd give me a chance."

Steven slammed the door to the kitchen. He thought he heard her say his name, but didn't stop. It was funny to him, the complete lack of emotion he felt as he walked away. He had left her in the kitchen, and with it, he had left his heart. What use was it to him anyway? Taking a deep, solid breath, he noted how light he felt. Each step towards the Camino was a weight that floated off of his body. Sliding behind the wheel, Steven paused, key poised at the ignition.

Nothing. That was what he felt. Nothing at all.

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 **A/N: Angst is my bread and butter, if you haven't noticed. Anyone who's been through a breakup, especially when you're young and dumb, knows that it's never easy to forgive. Pride takes wing. Anywho, the writer's of the show really didn't explain anything with their breakup. Jackie and Hyde never made up on screen, just glided along with Fez prompting their reunion, and ended up making out like nothing had happened between them. Which, I mean, is obviously not real life.**

 **I adore each and every one of your reviews! Each and every one of y'all makes my day. Please review! I'll try to have the next chapter up soon.**

 **Oh, P.S. Waylon Jennings has been realllllly good giving me inspiration. I've listened to Rainy Day Woman more times than I'd like to admit, along with most everything else of his. Seriously, they don't make music like that anymore.**


	14. Chapter 14

**The Seeker**

Jackie threw herself across Donna's bed. Exhaustion gripped her, her limbs felt heavy as lead. Desperately she drew upon the will to cry, but found she was spent dry. The lack of saline incensed her and she squeezed her eyes shut, a mantra of _cry, cry, cry_ pacing through her brain.

"You ok?" Donna asked softly, sitting on the edge of the mattress. Tentatively she laid her hand on Jackie's calf. Donna's fingers rubbed up and down Jackie's smooth skin. "What happened?"

"I think I just messed everything up, Donna," Jackie whispered. She rolled over onto her back, flopping her arms out to the sides dramatically. "Steven hates me."

"I'm sure he doesn't really hate you, Jackie." Donna's fingers gripped her shin now. "I mean, I can't really see him hating you after one conversation."

"No, he does." Jackie struck her fists onto the mattress on either side of her. "He told me all of this is _my_ fault. He told me that I'm selfish, and that I don't know what love really is." Anger gripped her throat and she glared up at the ceiling. "Jerk."

Donna pursed her mouth, looking away so Jackie couldn't see her face.

Jackie bolted upright, her hair full of static. Her closed fist punched the mattress. "How dare he. How dare he say that to me!" She stood and began to pace the room, huffing with fury. "I know what love is, _he's_ the stupid asshole who doesn't know anything about anything!"

"Maybe he has a point?" Donna threw in. She recoiled when Jackie rounded on her, Donna's hands rising placating into the air. "Hey, hear me out before you bite my head off."

Sinking onto the bed, Jackie pouted. She grabbed one of the pillows from the head of the bed, clutching it to her middle. "What?"

"I mean- And don't get mad when I tell you this." Donna pointed a long finger at Jackie. "Promise?"

"Whatever."

"Good. Maybe he had a point, Jackie. I mean, you kept pressuring him into marriage, and he told you he wasn't ready yet. But you kept pushing him, and pushing him." Donna squinted at Jackie. "He's not ready to be married."

"Then I was right to dump him!"

"But you two love each other. All he wanted was to give it some more time. What's the rush? Are you pregnant?"

Jackie kicked out her feet, calves bouncing off the mattress. "The rush is that I'm scared, Donna."

"Scared?" Donna rolled her eyes. "Life is scary, Jackie, everyone goes through this."

"Yeah, well," Jackie felt a tightening in her belly. Guilt was taking over, and she tried to ignore the butterflies that rose up her throat. Tossing the pillow aside, Jackie wandered to the window, pulling back the curtain. The Camino, always visible from Donna's window, was gone. Jackie's fingers tightened over the fabric. "I still don't think I was wrong to break up with him. Why is it that I'm wrong for wanting what I want when I want it?"

"You're not wrong for wanting what you want, Jackie," Donna stood from the bed, stopping by her record player, "but you are being selfish."

"How?" Jackie asked, her brow creasing. She released the curtain, wheeling on her heel. "How am I being selfish?"

Donna slid a record from its sleeve, setting it on the turntable. "Seriously? Because it's all about you. Love is give and take. And doing things you don't necessarily want to do to contribute to your partner's happiness."

"That sounds ridiculous." Jackie dropped hold of the curtain, falling onto the bed. She pushed her body up to the headboard, leaning back against Donna's pillows.

"Life isn't all unicorns and rainbows."

"Gee, thanks," Jackie wrapped her arms about her middle, pouting down at the carpet. Bitterness laced her words. "You and Eric have a give and take relationship, is what you're saying? He doesn't act like a child, and play stupid games, and hasn't wasted a complete year of your lives to exist as a bum?"

"He hasn't wasted a year of my life." Donna's voice had grown hard and cautious. "I'm still doing all the things I would have done anyway."

"Oh really?" Jackie asked sardonically. "You wouldn't be traveling the world? Living in Paris? Making love with some tanned and gorgeously haired Italian on a beach in Sicily?"

"I can still do those things!" Donna argued. She blinked, waving her hand flippantly. "Well, except the making love to a hairy Italian part. That's not the point, Jackie, we're not talking about me and Eric, we're talking about you and Hyde."

"Then why aren't you?" She interrupted. Jackie's eyebrow rose; she knew she had won this round. Donna opened her mouth to speak, and made a sound of dissention instead. Her arms hung limply at her sides.

Smirking, Jackie curled her toes into the comforter. "Exactly."

"Eric knows I want to do things," Donna said, her voice rough with emotion. "Eric knows that this is not how things are always going to be. That I want to have a life, too. To leave this town, to travel and write."

"He may know that Donna, but what's he doing to help you achieve that? Isn't love give and take? Doing all you can to ensure your partner's happiness?"

Donna turned away, settling at her desk. She picked up a pencil, tapping the eraser end on top of a textbook. Cradling her chin in the palm of her hand, Donna peeked over at Jackie, a sheen of resolve in her eyes. "You know, you're right on one account."

"Donna, I'm always right," Jackie rolled her eyes, "on all accounts."

"No, no you're not completely right here," Donna argued. She set down the pencil, turning to face her friend. "Eric is stuck right now. And, yeah, I have to wait for certain things. But that's just what I was trying to tell you. This is what being in love is. This is what it means. It means that I'm willing to stay here, and wait for him, till he's ready. Not place demands and ultimatums on him till he caves to my will."

"You are one strange cookie," Jackie acknowledged, her head nodding slowly. "Are you sure you're really a woman?"

"Yeah, well." Donna sighed. She disappeared into the en suite, muttering under her breath in aggravated tones.

Jackie pursed her mouth, chewing on the insides of her cheeks. Pulling her legs up under her, Jackie let her head fall back against the wall, considering what it was that Steven had accused her of, and of what Donna had said. Donna usually took the guys side in any arguments, always had and probably always would. Jackie attributed it to the fact that Donna had been friend's with them first, before Jackie had been able to save her from a life of lumberjack clothing and ice blue eye shadow.

But now… With the advice that Donna had bestowed upon her… She wasn't sure what to think of it all. None of it made any sense. Pam had always told her to be a damsel, to make a man cower with want and a slight hint of fear at your presence. A man was supposed to pine and ache over their woman. Lavish them with gifts, and trinkets, diamonds and rubies. A horse. A plane that writes love notes in the sky. Not throw back insults, ones that cut as deep as the ones Jackie could inflict.

Jack had taught her to never worry her pretty little head about anything; he was the only man Jackie needed to worry about providing for her. But how could he provide for her when he was behind bars, and Pam had to sell the furniture just to pay the bills?

None of that worked with Steven, anyway. He was too smart and cunning to fall for her tricks. Even if she were to pull a fake pregnancy card from her sleeve, Jackie didn't think Steven would completely fall for it. Not unless she provided irrefutable proof. Matter of fact, he would probably get in the Camino and drive as far away from Jackie as he possibly could, as fast as he could.

Marriage had been a card, and one that had blown up disastrously in her face. Instead of caving, and proving to her once and for all that all Steven wanted was Jackie, it had pushed him further away. Running for the hills like that stupid Led Zeppelin song. Or was it the Rolling Stones? Jackie didn't care.

All she wanted was to sit Steven down, tie him to the chair, cover his mouth with duck tape and yell at him till she was blue in the face and he was begging for her to take him back.

Right?

Jackie lay awake long after Donna had fallen asleep. Donna's soft snores pulsed in her ear, but that wasn't what kept Jackie awake for hours, restlessly tossing and turning.

No matter how she spun it, Jackie couldn't help but think that maybe she had made this into something bigger than it was. Selfish and full of demands, that was all she had ever been. When would she ever learn?

Jackie tossed onto her side, shoving the pillow more comfortably under her head. No, she wasn't going to apologize, not this time. Why should she apologize for knowing what she wants out of life? Why should she feel bad that she had only asked of Steven what any normal woman would ask of their boyfriends? Jackie crossed her arms over her breasts, squeezing her eyes shut.

Life was happening right now. She was almost done with high school. There was college to think about, and finding a job that would support her need for designer clothing and makeup. If only Steven had committed, then she wouldn't have to worry about college. She'd have him to provide for her all the monetary things she wanted, just like her parents had taught her.

But now… She had herself. Plenty of people were worse off; they didn't have someone as witty and charming as Jackie to fulfill their sorry little lives.

She closed her eyes, mentally blocking out all the bullshit that was her current life. This couldn't be it. There had to be more. She'd find it, too.

-x-

Steven took the joint from Fez, bringing it to his lips. "Have you heard, man? There's a car that runs on water! It's got a fiber glass, air cooled engine and it runs on water!"

"Angie is so smart," Kelso smirked, taking the rolled paper, "I bet she's heard of this car."

"Man, Kelso, when will you stop dating my sister?"

"Eh, I don't know. Probably in a month or so."

"Doink!"

"Ow!" Kelso rubbed his deltoid. "Too hard, Hyde."

"Have you talked to Jackie?" Eric broke in. He rubbed the palms of his hands together, leaning forward over the spool table. "Donna said the sleepover was a living nightmare."

Fez smiled around at the other three. "Oh, yes. The Goddess. How is my goddess?"

"No," Steven bit out. "I don't want to talk about her to you, either."

"The sleepover was a bleak affair." Fez picked at a piece of dry skin on his lip. He tore off the piece of skin bringing it forward to study between his fingers. "They didn't even have a pillow fight."

"How do you know that?" Steven asked. His voice held more emotion than he wished. He cleared his throat, leaned back in his chair. "Not that I care, or anything."

Kelso began to chuckle. "Yeah, you don't care. _At all._ "

"I can feel the not caring from all the way over here." Eric waved his hands towards himself, his eyes closed in reverence.

"Shut up." Steven kicked out at Kelso. "All of ya."

Crossing his arms over his stomach, Steven stared at the spool table, his focus slipping in and out. The others continued their conversation. Pillow fights and feathers raining down over the girls glistening skin. Miss October, in a nightie with a feather, teasing her breasts. Margot Kidder straddling the world's luckiest boulder. It was an old conversation, and one that he couldn't bring himself to join.

A chip in the side of one of the candles caught his attention, and Steven leaned forward, snatching the candle off the table. His pointer finger picked at the divot, wax building under his nail. He rolled the blue wax between his fingers, flicking it across the room to bounce off of Fez's tight polyester shirt. The foreigner absently stroked his shirt.

"What about you, Hyde?"

Steven became instantly still, his eyes pinging around to each of his friends. He asked dumbly, "Huh?"

"Who would you rather do?" Kelso turned to him excitedly. "Samantha or Jeannie?"

"Oh, uhm," Steven cleared his throat, setting the candle back onto the table. "Jeannie. Definitely."

Eric whistled under his breath. "I wonder if Donna would ever dress up like Jeannie for me. She could fill out that top so well. Just like, two perfectly filled bags of pudding. Two water balloons."

"Oh, this one time!" Kelso sprang forward, smiling like an idiot. "Jackie and I roll-played. Yeah, I was this mechanic, out on the lam, she ripped my muscle tank and everything, and she was a damsel in distress whose car had broken down- OW! _Hyde_!"

Steven flexed his fingers. "I don't wanna hear about you and Jackie."

"It must be really hard," Fez stroked Steven's thigh. "To still be in love with Jackie."

"I'm not in love with her. I never loved her."

"It's ok." Eric sighed, leaning back in the lawn chair. "It took a while before I could talk about Donna too, when she was dating Casey."

"What are you talking about?" Steven shoved away Fez's hand. "You talked about her all the time. You wouldn't shut up about her."

"And that song you wrote her," Kelso added, rubbing his arm in small strokes. "How long did you spend thinking up that stupid song?"

"Hey, I loved that song!" Fez cooed. "'Every day is like rain when you're in pain'."

"'And when the rain is falling, I can't hear you callin'." Eric sang softly under his breath. The lawn chair creaked under his weight as he leaned back. "God damn, I'm amazing."

Steven slapped his hands onto his thighs. "Alright, well, I gotta get to work. Angie has probably run off all of our customers. You guys have fun reminiscing on the past."

The air felt heavy with impending snow as Steven ascended the stairs to the drive. He popped open the gate leading onto the driveway, slamming it shut behind him. Without conscious thought, he found himself staring up at Donna's bedroom window, wondering if Jackie were still there now.

"Spoiled, crazy, whack-job," Steven mumbled as he got into the Camino. Thinking of Jackie made him irrationally angry. He slammed the driver's door closed, the car pitching on its wheels.

The Camino purred when he started her up. Steven relaxed into the drivers seat, shivering slightly as he let the engine warm. He stared straight ahead out the windshield, pushing all thought from his brain. Thinkin' just made him even more angry and confused. He was too young for an existential crisis.

Grooves parking lot was packed when Steven pulled up, parking the Camino at the back entrance. He locked up the car, jingling his keys in his hand as he approached the back door. A couple of kids loitered, smoking cigarettes, and Steven nodded in acknowledgement of their chorus of hellos.

"Hey big brother!" Angie greeted, smiling at him. She had a clipboard perched under one arm, a pencil stuck behind her ear. "Bout time you show up."

"Yeah, yeah," Steven muttered. He dumped his coat and keys in the office, stepping out into the store. "Anything exciting happen?"

Angie followed Steven to the counter. "Well, that one dorky kid, Jimmy? The one with the headgear? He spilled root beer all over the couch in the listening pit, and then attempted to steal a couple Air Supply vinyl. Otherwise, nope!"

"Fantastic." Steven perched himself behind the counter, pulling AC/DC from the selection of cassette's behind him.

"Hey," Angie set the clipboard down. Her amber eyes held a note of concern, one that Steven wished would disappear. "You alright?"

"Yeah, I'm cool." The only thing cool about him was the tone of his voice.

"Yeah, ok," Angie chuckled, disbelieving, pulling the pencil from behind her ear. She leaned her elbows onto the glass counter. "Tell me what's going on. You and Jackie have a fight?"

Steven pursed his mouth, setting AC/DC in the tape deck. He pressed rewind, the tape whirling backward. "Nope."

Angie's eyes narrowed. "Did something happen between you two?"

"Why so curious?"

"I'm your little sister, I'm supposed to be curious about your life."

"I lived eighteen years without knowing about ya, I'm sure you'll appreciate if I don't have a guitar to play kumbaya and marshmallows to roast over the fire, as we gab about our lives."

Angie exhaled loudly, her left eyebrow rising on her smooth skin. "Talk. Now."

The tape clicked to a stop and Steven pressed play. His hands came to rest between his knees and he met Angie's eye wearily. She looked to him expectantly, bouncing the eraser of the pencil onto her clipboard.

"Truth is, Ang…" Steven rolled his eyes. "Jackie and I broke up."

"What?" Angie stood, placing a hand on her hip. "No. You two couldn't have. What happened?"

Steven picked at a loose thread on the knee of his jeans. "She wanted me to tell her I wanted to marry her."

"Well, why didn't you?" Angie flipped a hand dismissively at Steven. "It's obvious you love her and want to marry her."

"Angie, I don't love her." Steven punched a key on the register, slamming the drawer closed again immediately. Change rattled in their holders. Restlessness settled into his limbs. "I don't love people."

"You are so in denial."

"I am not."

Angie gathered up the clipboard, clutching it to her chest. "You are. You love her. Everyone can see."

Steven scowled. Everyone could see it? Great. Everyone could see how pathetic he was. Love made you weak. Loving Jackie had made him completely retarded.

Angie sauntered off without another remark, continuing her checklist of inventory. A crowd came in around five, keeping Steven blissfully busy for a few hours. He let work consume him, the only thing coming into his mind the counting back of change and which band paired best with Judas Priest.

Donna and Eric showed up close to closing, bringing Fatso Burger with them. Steven felt a wave of hunger hit him, and all but scarfed down the burger Donna presented to him. She smirked at him, her blue eyes bright, watching him inhale his cheeseburger.

Eric munched on fries, making himself comfortable in the listening pit. He pulled the headphones on, relaxing back into the blue swede couch.

Donna sipped her soda. She had made herself comfortable behind the counter. Steven could feel her gaze follow him around the store, and he avoided her as best he could, knowing she was going to stick her nose where it didn't belong.

Steven reorganized some of the crates, silently cursing the pre-pubescent turds that had deliberately fucked with his hard work. Twenty minutes later, and everything was properly catalogued once more. A new shipment of Tom Petty had arrived, taking up another fifteen minutes. Donna seemed patient enough to wait to speak her mind this once. Steven half expected her to pace behind him, waiting to pounce. But her silence and penetrating gaze told him he wasn't getting off the hook so easily.

Slapping down a stack of vinyl, Steven leaned on his palms against the counter. A migraine had started just behind his left eye, pulsing under his skull. "What, Pinciotti?"

Donna released her straw, the plastic bitten flat. She asked innocently, "What?"

"Don't play that game with me, I've known you too long. What are you waiting to berate me about?"

"I wasn't going to berate you." Donna sipped her drink, slurping the liquid. "I was just gonna ask how you've been?"

"Fantastic." Steven walked around the counter. He set the vinyl on the back cabinet with the other inventory waiting to be priced.

Eric chuckled from the listening pit, waving a fry through the air. His voice was an octave louder than normal. "You guys! You guys gotta listen to this. Hilarious!"

Steven stalked past Eric, resisting the urge to slap him upside the head. He turned the Open sign to Closed, twisting the lock on the door.

"Fantastic?" Donna scoffed, munching on a French fry. "I'll tell you who's not fantastic."

"I don't care."

And he didn't.

"Jackie."

He really didn't care.

"So?"

Donna's cup rattled with ice. She pulled the straw, the plastic screeching as it rubbed together. "She feels really bad about what she said."

"Uh huh." Steven tuned Donna out. He pulled out the cash drawer, taking it back to the office. Donna followed, still chewing on her straw.

"Don't you want to talk to her?"

"I thought you didn't want to get involved?" Steven pulled the cash from the drawer, quickly counting the bills. "Cause it sounds very much like you're getting involved."

"She thinks you hate her, now," Donna said softly.

Steven penciled in the figures into the book. He felt the headache intensify. His teeth ground together. "I don't hate her. I don't care about her at all."

"Liar." Donna stated, turning away before Steven could rebut. Steven watched through the office window as Donna fell onto the couch beside Eric.

Throwing the pencil aside, Steven sat back in his desk chair. He didn't care what Jackie thought. He didn't care at all. She wasn't his problem anymore. She was just some spoiled, insane, little girl who didn't care about anything besides herself.

 _Liar_ , the little voice in his head whispered to him. _Liar, liar, liar._

His eyebrow twitched. Steven slammed the books closed, shoving the wad of cash into a deposit bag.

 _You do care you know you do_.

Nope. Steven placed the deposit bag into the safe, twirling the lock. No, he didn't. Jackie could fall off a cliff for all he cared. She could date the entire football team. He wouldn't care. He wouldn't care, no matter what she did.

 _Liar._

"Alright, get out of here, I'm locking up," Steven called from the office door. He took his jacket from the peg just inside the office, pulling it over his shoulders. "Let's go."

Donna and Eric gathered their food, following Steven to the back of the store. Flicking off the lights, Steven closed and locked the back entrance, pausing at the Camino's fender. The air had grown heavier, weighing down on his shoulders.

He followed the Cruiser through town back towards the Forman's, parking at the curb. The kitchen was lit up, along with the living room, but the trio walked past, taking the stairs down to the basement at a clipped pace. Fez and Jackie looked up at their entrance. They were facing one another on the couch, clutching hands.

Jackie tossed off Fez's grasp at their entrance, swinging around to face forward on the couch.

Steven thought it appropriate. Now that he and Jackie were no longer together, it made the most sense for her to leach onto Fez. He knew the foreigner had always secretly wanted Jackie, and Jackie coveted attention, no matter who it came from. Steven assumed this latest development was because Kelso wasn't here to lend a shoulder for her to cry on. He wouldn't care if she decided to sink her claws into the foreigner. Good for them. He'd send them a damn fruit basket.

Steven ignored the fist that gripped his stomach, twisting the organ and shoving it up his esophagus.

"What are you two up to?" Donna asked. She wadded up her Fatso Burger bag, tossing it into the wastebasket beside the dryer.

"Ah, nothing, nothing," Fez answered. "Just gabbing like a couple of old gabbers."

Jackie stared at Steven as he shrugged out of his jacket, hanging it on the coat rack. He didn't speak, but instead stalked back to his room. He had left the radio on, and turned it up upon his reentrance, blocking out his friends. Half of him expected Jackie to turn up in the doorway, looking for another fight. The other half of him wished it would come to fruition. That she would appear in the doorway, filling up the small room in a way that only she could accomplish.

He wanted her to apologize. He wanted her to come back and apologize, just so he could throw it back into her face, just like she'd done to him.

He wanted to make her feel just as bad, and as unloved, and as discarded as he did.

Steven lurked out of his room, not realizing he was holding his breath until he was in the main room, sinking into the vinyl chair. He took off his sunglasses, tossing them onto the spool table.

Jackie had left.

Donna and Eric were cuddled together on the couch, prying information out of Fez. The foreigner, for his part, tried to keep the private communication Jackie had entrusted to him private. However, once Donna produced a box of Sugar Babies, Fez was like putty in her fingers.

"Spill." Donna said, leaning closer to Fez. "You two looked a little too cozy when we walked in."

Fez's eyes briefly met Steven's.

"Well," Fez dumped some of the sugary candies into his palm. "I promised I wouldn't say anything-"

"Then don't." Steven mumbled just loud enough for everyone to hear.

"-but, Jackie's really going through a tough time right now."

Steven sighed, crossing his arms over his chest. He kicked his feet up onto the mushroom ottoman, his right foot shaking with pent-up adrenaline. Why did everyone care about Jackie now? For as long as she'd been around them, everyone had treated her like the pariah she was. Disregarding her feelings, making fun of her when she wasn't around. When she had been his chick, it had bothered him to no end, the way their friends could so callously neglect her.

But she wasn't his chick. Not anymore. The old loyalties he had kept going for them, that he had started even before they'd become an official couple, were no longer going to control him. If her "friends" wanted to bash her, and share her secrets, it wasn't his job to protect her anymore.

"What's happened?" Donna asked.

Eric shared a look with Steven that clearly stated he didn't care. He scratched at his temple, resting his forehead against his fist.

"So, so much, Donna," Fez said. He sucked on the Sugar Babies, swallowing throatily. "For starters, she's been fired from The Cheese Palace."

"What?" Donna's eyebrows furrowed with confusion. "I thought she was up for a promotion? She said her boss was really impressed with her work performance."

"Maybe he was…" Fez's voice drifted, and he looked pointedly at Steven across the room. "Before… y'know."

"That sucks she was fired," Eric put in. His voice held genuine concern. "Hasn't her mom been selling, like, all the furniture to pay the bills?"

Steven's head turned without his consent, and he joined into the conversation. "What?"

Donna, Eric and Fez all stared openly at Steven's outburst. Eric looked uncertain if he should continue.

"Yeah," Eric cleared his throat, his arm tightening around Donna's shoulders. "Jackie said that Pam has had to sell most of the furniture. Apparently the city took not only the money her dad stole, but since he's in jail, all of his accounts have been frozen."

"Whatever, they have money," Steven tossed out, turning away. He told himself he still didn't care.

"Well, that's why Jackie was working at all," Fez said. "She said that she told everyone she wanted to keep working to fund her cosmetics bill, but she was actually helping Pam pay the bills. They've had to let the maid and cook go."

"That explains why Jackie has been eating here or at my place every chance she gets," Donna said softly, chewing on her lip.

Steven grew still.

"Ever since the breakup she hasn't been herself." Fez shook the last of the Sugar Babies into his palm. "She's confused, and lonely. She feels like no one understands what she's going through. She doesn't know who to reach out to."

Steven gnawed on the inside of his cheeks. He didn't care. He really didn't care. So what, she was going through a shitty situation. Everyone had shitty situations that happened to him or her at some point or another. For him, it'd been his entire childhood. He was ok. She'd be ok too.

-x-

Jackie sat on the bottom stair of her childhood home, staring around the empty foyer.

How had life gone to shit so quickly?

For the past couple of weeks she had noticed that items were missing. The authentic Chinese vases that had flanked the living room doors. The Waterford Crystal that had been a wedding present to her parents. And then it had been the ornate, hand-carved desk from her father's office. The Tiffany frames that lined the mantle piece. Finally, she had caught Pam, selling her mink coats after a particularly hard, and last, day at The Cheese Palace.

This past week had felt like a wrecking ball shattering her world. She had lost her dad. She had lost Steven. The mementoes of her childhood home were being pilfered away like they were nothing. Todd had fired her yesterday, citing that now the holidays were over, they needed to cut back on personnel. Jackie had flattered herself that she was doing an amazing job. She thought Todd had been paying more attention to her in hopes of giving her a promotion or a raise. Instead he had chosen Dawn. Well, fine.

Jackie pulled herself up by the bannister, trudging up the stairs. She opened her bedroom door, just as her telephone began to ring. Momentarily forgetting her plights, Jackie grabbed up the receiver, a breathless "hello" falling from her lips.

The line was silent on the other end. A faint crackling filled her ear. Jackie shook the receiver, pressing it to her ear again. "Hello?"

"Hey."

Just like that, it hit her like a ton of bricks, the feeling that accompanied Steven's voice. Desperation and want and need, all so strong in her that she willed Steven to appear in her bedroom. She wished she could wrap herself up in his arms. She wished she had never broken up with him at all.

Meekly, "Hi."

Steven took a deep breath. "Look. I don't know why I'm calling. Probably stupid that I did."

"I'm glad you did." Jackie admitted, biting her lip. Butterflies were soaring through her body and her limbs began to shake with anxiety, waiting for his response. She began to berate herself, hating that she had said something so weak.

Steven grew silent. Music played faintly in the background. Country, from the sounds of it.

"Yeah. Look, I guess, I just wanted to say, that I heard about what you're going through."

Jackie felt her breath catch. "What?"

"I heard about what you're going through. With the house and the bills, and losing your job."

"Well," Jackie gasped, "I don't know what you heard, but I'm fine, Steven. Perfectly fine."

Steven's voice didn't rise to her bait. "Don't do that. I know you better than that Jackie. Look, I really just wanted to tell you, that I understand. And-" Steven took a deep breath. "And, if you need to talk to someone… Well, y'know… I'm here for you."

It was Jackie's turn to be taciturn. She twisted the cord of the phone around her ring finger. Her eyes swept her room, and she felt small, like a child. Her limbs relaxed, the feeling of pins and needles leaching out of her toes and fingers. Steven's words were a balm on her heart. No matter what was happening between them, how distant she had felt from him, it meant the world to her that he had said anything at all. This was the Steven she had known. The kind and considerate Steven. The Steven who had comforted her when she had been upset, listening to her, however begrudgingly, and giving her advice, no matter how much she hated the analogies.

This was the Steven she had missed, the one she wanted back.

"Jackie?"

Snapping out of her reverie, Jackie swiped her hand across her cheek, wiping away her tears. "Yeah?"

"Just making sure you were still there."

"I'm here."

"You ok?"

Jackie swallowed, looking up to the ceiling. She bit her lip, her voice soft. "Yeah, I'm ok, Steven."

"Alright." Steven replied. His soft breaths resonated down the line. "I'll see you later, yeah?"

"Yeah," Jackie replied. She set the receiver back on its cradle, curling onto her side, crying softly till she fell into a restless slumber.

.

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 **A/N: Jackie's life is in shambles, but she's a tough cookie. And Steven would never let her suffer alone. No matter what he may say. Our lovebirds are working their way back to one another.**

 **I loved your reviews! Please keep them coming!**


	15. Chapter 15

**The Seeker**

Steven pulled the small cooler closer, popping open the lid. He took out a can of Schlitz, pulling off the tab. Flicking the metal tab away, he watched it as it fell out of sight into the woods below.

"Pass me one?" Donna asked, crushing her beer can. She tossed the can over the railing encircling the water tower, taking the new can from Steven with a small belch. "Thanks."

"Yup." Steven gulped his beer. Night had fallen over Point Place. It was freezing cold, and a light snow had begun to fall. He was beginning to question why it was he had wanted to come up here in the first place.

Oh, yeah. Right. Because this was the one place he had the least amount of memories concerning Jackie. Her name was no longer painted across the side. They had never had sex on its precariously placed catwalk. The most he had was a memory of holding her close when they searched for Donna's engagement ring.

"What is up with all this country music?" Donna asked. She pulled the small radio closer.

"Don't change my music, Pinciotti," Steven yanked the radio from her hands. Setting it on the other side of his body, away from Donna's grasp, he hooked his arms over the railing, resting his chin on the rusted metal bar.

Donna quirked an eyebrow. "Alright, whatever. No need to be so grabby."

They grew silent, drinking their beer. Snow settled into the treetops, dusting the shoulders of their coats. Donna's blond hair was nearly platinum in the fading sunlight, and she shivered, her gloved hands clutching the cold can of beer.

Steven drank his beer quickly, ignoring the way the aluminum can froze his fingers. The beer rumbled in his otherwise empty belly. He belched, the burp echoing through the quiet lot.

"Nice," Donna acknowledged, somewhat sarcastically. She shivered violently, setting her beer beside her. Her shoulders rose to her ears, and she scowled. "What are we doing up here? It's freezing."

"Well," Steven's eyes rounded comically, "it was because I wanted some peace and solitude."

Donna smirked, knocking Steven's shoulder with her own. "Because you're trying to figure out how to get Jackie back?"

It was Steven's turn to scowl. "Yeah. That's _exactly_ what I'm doing. Trying to figure out how to get back my crazy ex-girlfriend."

"Yeah, yeah," Donna chuckled. "I know what's up with you. You've been even more aloof and irritable than ever."

"Whatever."

"We've been friends for years, Hyde, I can read you like a book."

"No, you can't."

Only Jackie had been the one able to truly read his emotions. She surprised him, continually, knowing what he was thinking and feeling long before he had been able to decipher it himself.

Steven shrugged, pushing away thoughts of Jackie. He hadn't spoken to her since the telephone call three nights ago. Of course, he hadn't seen her very much either. The basement had been a decidedly Jackie Free Zone, not that Forman had complained about it much. The silence that came with her absence was enough to make Forman plan a celebration party.

Donna sipped her beer, smacking her lips. "Anyway… Can I ask you something?"

Huffing, Steven crushed his now empty can. "Fire away."

"No need to be so dramatic," Donna said. "It's about me, not you, you selfish prick."

Relief washed over him. Steven chuckled at Donna's insult, this time knocking his shoulder against hers. "Alright, point taken."

"I was going to ask you, well…" Donna brought her beer to her lips, taking a small sip. She rolled her eyes, grumbling under her breath.

"Spit it out, Pinciotti." Steven broke his stare with the dusk, staring at Donna. "What? You pregnant?"

"No!" Donna exclaimed. "Look, I was talking to Jackie, and I had asked her a question. Well, it's just, I wanted to know someone else's opinion on the answer."

"You asked Jackie a question?" Steven snorted. "A: she lied to you, or b: she told her the blatant truth that hurt worse than a lie would."

"I don't think she lied to me," Donna said softly. "That's not the problem. Well, maybe it is. I don't know."

"What's up, Donna?" Steven asked, his voice gentle.

Donna polished off her beer. She hooked her arms over the railing, twirling the empty can between her hands. "If I ask you, do you promise to answer me honestly?"

Steven looked away. Why were chicks always so dramatic? Just ask the damn question, and take whatever answer you got, what was so hard about that? But Steven didn't say any of this to Donna. He pursed his lips, and said a confident, "Yeah, sure."

"Do you think Eric and I will make it?"

Thoroughly surprised, Steven barked, "What?"

Donna rolled her eyes again. "You heard me. Do you think that Eric and I will make it?"

Donna's tone had changed, taking on an air of superiority. She was challenging him to answer, and she was telling him to answer her honestly.

Goddammit. Steven hadn't shit like this. Jackie had always been plying him with questions, and hating the answers he had given. He had a feeling that Donna wouldn't be quite so happy with the one he gave her now.

"I don't know."

Punching his shoulder, Donna said, "No, not good enough. Give me a straight answer."

"I don't know, Donna!" Steven said again.

"God, now I know how Jackie must have felt, only ever hearing," Donna's voice became mocking, "'I don't know', 'I don't know', 'I don't know'."

"What the hell, Donna?" Steven asked, becoming annoyed. He felt slightly betrayed by her comment.

"You know, forget it." Donna chucked the empty beer can off of the water tower, moving to stand.

Steven grasped the hem of her bell-bottoms, pulling her down. "Now, wait a second, Pinciotti."

Donna plopped back down next to him. She stuffed her hands into her coat pockets, her face passive and yet showing her exasperation.

"Ok, fine," Steven said, getting a fresh beer for them both. "I'll answer ya."

"That's all I'm asking."

"You gonna hate me if I give you an answer you don't like?"

Donna's eyebrows furrowed. "Possibly."

Steven sighed, fiddling with the tab to his beer. "I don't think so. No."

Silence leached between them, a chasm deeper than the distance from their feet to the woods beneath them. Donna ripped the pull-tab from her beer, her head tipping back as she guzzled her beer. She drained the last drops, her eyes full of resolve. "Yeah, that's what Jackie said too."

Steven pulled the tab from his beer. He took a tentative sip, bracing himself for Donna lashing out. If she lashed out, that was. Donna was still, and quiet. His shoulders tensed as he waited.

"Look, I wish you hadn't asked me that," Steven said, unable to keep mute. He felt cagey, like a wild animal. "I hate getting involved in shit like this. It's none of my business."

"I've told you about Jackie." Donna pointed out.

"I didn't ask you to."

"This is what friends do, they help each other."

Steven scoffed. "By hurting their feelings?"

"It's better to know the truth than to keep wondering."

Steven's jaws snapped shut, swallowing the retort that had been ready to spill off of his tongue.

"Jackie said," Donna sighed, "that she thinks Eric's holding me back."

"Holding you back." Steven repeated.

Donna's shoulders slumped. "I mean, I had kind of, maybe, thought it myself, but to hear someone else say it… Now two people have said it. If everyone says it, does that make it true?"

She turned to Steven then, her eyes alight with a semblance of hope. He automatically shrugged, muttering, "I don't know" before he could stop himself. Clearing his throat, Steven clutched his beer can, feeling small and inadequate. Surprising himself, he reached towards Donna, wrapping an arm about her shoulders. "Donna, look. People say all sorts of things. It doesn't mean it's true. Sometimes-" Steven searched for a word, "Look, the truth is subjective. Do _you_ think you and Eric will make it?"

Donna pulled out of his grasp. "I don't know, Hyde, that's the problem." She turned her face away. "A part of me agrees with you and Jackie."

"It doesn't matter what me and Jackie say." Steven asserted adamantly. "We're not the ones in the relationship."

"True." Donna's doleful voice cut through Steven like a knife. He hated sappy moments, and sharing feelings. He especially hated having sappy moments with chicks, most notably with one he wasn't dating, or sleeping with, for that matter.

"Then what's the deal, Donna?" Steven asked, more harshly than he wished. To cover, he took a gulp from his beer.

"Because!" Donna argued. "It's true! I _am_ stuck! Ever since the wedding that never was, Eric has been distant and a bum and just, _stuck_!"

"Have you talked to him about it?"

"No," Donna said.

Steven jeered. "Sounds about right."

Donna's bright eyes blazed. "What the hell does that mean?"

"You and Forman, you two ignore everything." Steven's arms gesticulated, motioning his points. "Something happens? Ignore it. Eric pisses you off? Ignore it. You don't like that Forman has been a bum the last five months? Ignore it, cause why bring it up?"

"It's not that easy!" Donna protested.

"Yeah, Donna, it is. It is that easy."

"Oh, really?" Donna perched a hand on the catwalk, leaning back on her palm. "Just like it was so easy for you to talk to Jackie about all of your feelings?"

"Hey, don't drag Jackie into this. That was completely different." Steven shifted his weight. "She was a complete whack-job. She never liked an answer I gave her, even when it was the truth. She complained about how I never cared about her feelings, when she was the selfish one who never listened to me when I had something on my mind."

"Doesn't sound all that different to me," Donna said. "Eric doesn't always listen to me, either. He plays it off like it's some kind of joke."

"Maybe he and Jackie should date."

Briefly they laughed. Their laughter was cut short as their brains explored the thought.

Donna shivered, and not from the cold. "I don't want to think of that ever again."

"Me either."

Taking a deep breath, Donna asked, "Can I ask you one more thing?"

"What?"

"Do you still love her?"

"I don't love people, Donna," Steven said.

Donna didn't say anything for a while. She stared straight over the woods at the lit up town before them. "Do you think it's bad that I wonder what life would be like if I hadn't got back together with Eric?"

"Maybe," Steven answered honestly. "I wonder sometimes what would have happened if Jackie hadn't taken me back after the nurse."

"I don't think life would be any better, though," Donna continued. "I mean, he's my best friend. I can tell him anything. Well, just about anything. He's been there for me through everything. My mom leaving. California. Casey Kelso."

"Someone else could easily be there for you too, Pinciotti."

Donna sniffled, pulling her legs up onto the catwalk. "It's cold. Let's go back."

They descended the water tower carefully. The Camino rumbled to life, and Steven waited a moment before placing the gearshift in first. Donna placed her gloved hand over Steven's on the gearshift, her face tense, and chewing on her upper lip. "Wait. I'm going to ask you something. And either way, I don't want you to say anything. Just, either do it, or don't. Ok?"

Steven felt anxiety and anticipation grip his body. His hand suddenly felt clammy on the leather ball grip covering the gearshift. Slowly, he said, "Ok."

"Will you kiss me?" Donna asked breathily.

Shock, cold and heavy started at the crown of his head, sinking all the way down to his toes. He blinked several times, saliva pouring into his mouth. He swallowed, and opened his mouth.

"No, you know, what," Donna released his hand, turning back to face forward in her seat. "That was a really stupid question. Just forget it."

Steven shook the gearshift back into neutral. The Camino's engine rumbled under his ass, the vibration of the car filling his chest. He didn't want to kiss Donna. Not really. The only person he wanted to kiss was someone he didn't want to think about. But the way Donna looked, dejected and rejected, was enough to tug at his sympathy. She was Forman's girl, not his. But she was his friend. And it's like she had said: friends helped one another out.

Reaching across the cab, Steven took Donna's hand. He pulled the mitten from her fingers, lacing hers with his own. She began to breath rapidly, turning to look at him. The blue glow of the dash lit her profile. Steven tugged her closer, his free hand rising to cup her jaw. Donna's skin wasn't as soft as Jackie's, and the hair that tickled the back of his hand didn't feel right either. Ignoring the way his throat clenched, Steven licked his lips, not meeting Donna's eye.

"Steven," Donna whispered, her eyes settling onto his mouth.

She had never called him by his given name, at least not that he could remember. But if he imagined hard enough, he could fancy that it was a different voice whispering to him, a different girl sitting next to him.

Softly, Steven kissed Donna, the pressure of his mouth on hers uncertain. Their kiss was brief. Donna's free hand rose to cup his on her jaw. Her eyes were closed, and she held her breath. "Again."

Steven kissed her again, the pressure of his lips on hers harder. She whimpered against him, opening her mouth to deepen the kiss. The touch of her slick tongue at the crease of his lips shocked him. Four years ago, he would have been over the moon.

Pulling away, Steven released her, his hands griping the steering wheel. "I can't, Donna."

"You can't?" Donna whispered. "Or you don't want to?"

Looking at her, Steven nodded his head. "I don't want to."

"OK." Donna nodded her head as well. She blinked rapidly, as if keeping tears at bay. "That's cool. Thank you. I just, wanted to know what it would feel like."

Steven drove them home in a blur. Curiosity was a bitch, and his heart, his bleeding fucking heart, was out to get him. His lips tingled from the contact with Donna's and he covered his mouth with his hand, his body turned subtly away from Donna.

"Look, Hyde, don't say anything about this," Donna said as they pulled to the curb in front of the Forman's. She gripped his arm, her mitten once more on her hand. "Please. No one needs to know. You were being a good friend, and it would just hurt Eric. And Jackie."

"Yeah, no worries," Steven said, not meeting her eye. He pulled the key from the ignition, locking the car as he exited the cab. Donna looked at him worriedly as they neared the house, the cooler of remaining beer knocking against her thigh.

They trekked down the stairs into the basement, careful to avoid the patches of ice the salt Mr. Forman had spread had been able to avoid.

"Hey, pretty lady!" Eric smiled at their entrance from his spot on the couch. "Where ya been?"

"Oh, just the water tower," Donna said, her voice betraying nothing.

"No invite?" Eric asked as Steven entered behind Donna.

"Sorry, Forman," Steven said. "You weren't here when I got off work."

Jackie had turned in the lawn chair, watching him over her shoulder. Heat rose up Steven's neck, settling onto his cheeks. He wished she wouldn't look at him. Jackie had an uncanny ability to know when Steven was guilty of something, and he didn't wish to spill the beans of his kiss with Donna so soon after promising to keep it secret.

"Well, I'm glad I didn't go," Jackie said, turning away. Her knees swayed side to side. "It's too cold outside. My hair would be a frizzy mess."

"Can't have that," Steven mumbled, settling onto his chair.

"I know, I work too hard to look this beautiful," Jackie agreed, staring at the TV.

Fez moved over on the couch, letting Donna sit between he and Eric. Rolling a piece of hard candy around his mouth, Fez nodded in Jackie's direction, the candy clicking against his teeth. "You do look extra beautiful today, Jackie."

"Awe," Jackie cooed. Steven rolled his eyes. "Thank you, Fezzy."

"What are you watching?" Steven asked, perching his feet up onto the ottoman. He squinted at the TV, trying to make out the characters. "Is this a movie?"

Jackie made a gagging sound at the back of her throat. "Eric wanted to watch The Hobbit."

"What's the matter with The Hobbit?" Eric asked Jackie. "It's a heartwarming tale of brotherhood and friendship."

"It's about a midget with gross hairy feet," Jackie threw back.

"Well if you don't like my house, no one's making you stay," Eric said hotly.

Jackie slapped her hands down onto the chairs arms. "Fine. I'll go then."

Steven watched her, not so subtly, as she gathered her coat and purse. Jackie pulled her hair free from the collar of her jacket, slinging her purse over her shoulder. Her nose high in the air, she exited the basement, slamming the door behind her.

"You gonna send her out into the night to freeze, Forman, really?" Steven heard himself ask.

"The devil is made of sulfur and hell-fire," Eric wrapped an arm around Donna's shoulder, not noticing the way she tensed under his touch, "she won't freeze. If anything, she'll melt some ice, save everyone the worry of an accident."

Donna watched Steven nervously as the latter stood, following Jackie's departure from the basement. The drive was empty, and Steven stood at the curb, staring down the sidewalk. Jackie must have disappeared, he thought, or maybe left through the garage, cutting past the Henderson's yard to the next street over. Steven checked the back alley, to no avail. Jackie was already gone. He told himself that he didn't care. He had only thought to offer her a ride, which he was sure she would have rejected.

Gloomily, Steven entered the kitchen. Mrs. Forman smiled at him over a steaming mug of cocoa. "Hi there, sweets! Can I make you something?"

Steven took a seat at the bar. "No, thanks, I'm cool."

Mrs. Forman sipped her drink. Her intelligent eyes narrowed over the rim of her mug and she studied him for a minute before she set her mug down on the counter. "You alright, Steven?"

"Yeah, I'm cool." Steven said, lacing his fingers together on the bar top.

"Ok, sweetheart, if you say so," Kitty said in sing song. She took up her mug, exiting the kitchen into the living room. Pausing at the door, Mrs. Forman said softly, "Y'know, a mothers love can only help, never hinder."

Smiling, Steven nodded. "Thanks Mrs. Forman."

Returning his smile, Mrs. Forman disappeared into the living room, the noise from the TV briefly filling the kitchen.

Steven stared down at the immaculate counter top. He could see the outline of his reflection, staring up at him. Life felt like it was spiraling out of control. Despite his best efforts not to, he missed Jackie. Kissing Donna had only proved it. Maybe that had been part of Donna's plan. Get him to realize that the only pair of lips he wanted to kiss ever again were Jackie's.

As if he needed some kind of back handed ploy to realize that. Steven mentally berated himself. Of course he needed some kind of trick to realize his emotions. It was like Jackie had told him, and Mrs. Forman too on separate occasions: he was stupid when it came to love.

The trilling of the phone brought him out of his reverie. Clearing his throat, Steven picked up the receiver. "Hello, Forman residence?"

"Hey, Steven." Jackie's voice was low, as if her mouth were pressed close to the handset. "It's me."

"Oh." Steven said. He shifted his feet. "You need to talk to Donna?"

"No. No, actually, I was hoping I could talk to you," Jackie said.

Taking a seat on the stool by the stove, Steven settled in. "You ok? You make it home ok?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm home." Jackie said, rushed. "That's not it."

"Ok," Steven said slowly. He felt like the world had stopped turning. No longer could he hear the TV in the room next to him. It was like he had been transported to a different universe, one where only he and Jackie existed.

Jackie sighed, the sound loud in his ear. "I just. I didn't know who else to call. I tried to call Valerie, but her mom said she was out, and besides, I don't really want her to know all of my business anyway."

"Understandable." Steven said. Valerie, one time head cheerleader, and despite appearances, a girl who had never been a true friend to Jackie, was not the first pick he would have chosen for Jackie to spill her guts to either. Then again, maybe he wasn't the best choice either. He was about to suggest Donna again when Jackie began to speak.

"It's my mom." Jackie cut herself off abruptly, than started again. "She's sold practically everything in the house. The TV, the couches. The guest rooms upstairs are bare."

"Yeah, that sucks." Steven said sincerely. "I remember, once, Edna sold my stereo to buy a six pack of Schlitz and a carton of cigarettes."

"I feel like everything is falling apart, Steven." Jackie continued.

Steven nodded his head, forgetting Jackie couldn't see him. He scratched at his temple. "Yeah, I understand."

"My home isn't my home anymore," Jackie's voice sounded close to tears. Maybe she was already crying, he couldn't be sure. "My dad's in prison and my mom is selling everything without any regard to my feelings. How much longer till I find she's gone through my things, and sold _my_ stereo?"

"Best to get rid of it yourself," Steven said, "keep the ball in your own court."

"I guess." Jackie said dispassionately.

Silence fell over them. Steven tugged at the phone's cord, letting it snap out of his grasp.

"If this isn't too weird," Jackie sounded dubious, "would you mind coming over? I want to hide the things I don't want her to pawn."

Steven's eyes grew round. "Right now?"

"Well, no, you don't have to right now."

"Oh."

"Unless, I mean, unless you want to."

Steven couldn't describe the emotion that came over him. The hopefulness that laced Jackie's words was almost enough to send him into a catatonic state. His mouth still tingled with the feeling of Donna's kiss, and he leaned back on the stool, staring out into the dark night visible from the sliding door. He refused to admit that hope had sprung into his own chest.

-x-

Jackie opened the door, neither smiling nor scowling at Steven. She stepped back, letting him enter the foyer without a word.

"Wow," Steven took in his surroundings. "This place really has been cleared out."

The marble based coat rack was gone, as was the console table that had held a collection of Tiffany crystal. The umbrella stand, that Jackie had bragged was flecked with real 24ct gold was also missing as was the twin Chinese vases that had flanked the entry to the living room. The room felt large, the ceiling pressing down over the pair, echoing the sounds of their footsteps and voices.

Jackie crossed her arms over her chest, not meeting his eye. "Yeah."

Steven followed her silently up the stairs to her room, staring down at the stairs and not at her ass as it swayed at his eye level before him. They entered her room, Jackie standing uncertainly by the door.

Shoving his hands into his coat pockets, Steven rocked on the toes of his feet. "Where do you want to start?"

Jackie seemed unsure if she should close the door or keep it open. In the days of their relationship, the door would have been shut and bolted, leaving them secure in the knowledge that their romp would be uninterrupted. Steven didn't remark on her obvious tension. Or the bed that not so innocently sat between them, reminding him of their trysts, and sweaty make out sessions. Instead, he pulled off his jacket, draping it over the pouf before her vanity, turning his back on the offending bed.

"I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say you wanna keep the stereo." Steven cracked his knuckles, glancing at Jackie over his shoulder.

Jackie shut the door forcibly, seemingly surprising herself. She didn't press the lock though, Steven noted, instantly scolding himself that he bothered to notice at all.

"Uhm, yeah," Jackie said, scratching her forehead. "That and the hi-fi."

"Solid choices," Steven said. He pulled the radio away from the wall, beginning to disconnect the wires at the back. "Where did you plan to hide all of this?"

"Oh." Jackie's hand dropped to her side. She stood awkwardly in the middle of her room, looking everywhere but at Steven. "Uhm. I was actually going to ask if you would keep it in your room?"

Steven stopped, draping the wires he had already disconnected over the top of the radio. He turned to face Jackie, clutching the sides of his belt buckle. "I don't know, Jackie. Wouldn't it be better to keep it all at Donna's?"

"It was just a thought," Jackie said dismissively. She took two large steps across the room, to the TV on her dresser, and fiddled with the rabbit ear antennas. She pulled the small appliance from her dresser, setting it on the rug. Kneeling onto the carpet, she wound the cord through the handle on top, seemingly fixated in her work.

Steven cursed under his breath, turning back to the stereo and hi fi. He pulled the two bulky items from her desk, motioning with his chin to the carpet. "You want everything you're gonna hide on the carpet?"

"Yeah, sure." Jackie said, standing. She still didn't meet his eye as she danced past him over to her vanity. She began to sort through her jewelry, dividing them into two separate piles.

"Look, Jackie, if you want, you can keep this in my room." Steven said suddenly. He leaned back on his left leg, hands on his hips.

"No, it's fine," Jackie said in a tone that clearly said it wasn't fine.

Steven chewed his cheek. "Jackie, I'm sorry. You can keep your things with me, if you want."

"Whatever." Jackie said. She looked pointedly to the collection of vinyl arranged on her dresser. "If you wouldn't mind, I want to keep the vinyl too."

"Sure." Steven said, his tone hard. He shuffled over to the dresser, peeking through the vinyl. His eyebrows drew together, and he turned to Jackie. "You got rid of my Zeppelin?"

Jackie finally met his eye. "No."

"It's not here."

"I didn't toss it." Jackie said, staring at him.

Steven motioned to the vinyl, letting a few settle back in their place against one another. "Then where is it? That was my favorite vinyl."

"I gave it back to you."

"No." Steven said, taking a step closer. "No, you didn't."

"Then it's in the basement, with all of Eric's records." Jackie said dismissively. "I don't have it here anymore."

Steven didn't say anything. He pursed his lips, turning to gather the vinyl off of Jackie's dresser and stack them against the hi fi. "What else?"

They worked in silence, Jackie briefly disappearing to find boxes to pack away her possessions. The house was quiet outside of her bedroom, and Steven voiced the thought as soon as it came to him.

"Where's your mom?"

Jackie glanced at him. "Oh. She's on a real estate retreat in the Poconos."

"So, you're all alone?" Steven asked.

It was if they had been dropped into the past. How long had she been abandoned this time? Days? Weeks?

"No." Jackie said. She rolled her eyes, settling back onto her tailbone. "She'll be back next week."

"Jackie-"

She held up a hand, stopping him. "I don't need you to feel sorry for me, Steven."

"I don't feel sorry for you," Steven answered honestly. "I'm just worried about you, in this big house with no one here to help you if you needed it."

"I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself."

Steven nodded. "Yeah, I know."

Jackie didn't seem to know how to respond. She blinked rapidly several times. "Don't worry about me."

"Maybe you should stay at Donna's, just till your mom get's back."

"No."

"Then I'll stay here with you."

Jackie's rounded eyes stared at him. "What?"

Steven felt awkward, scratching at the back of his neck. "I'll sleep in the guest room. You won't even know I'm here."

Scoffing, Jackie dropped a travel bag of her jewelry into the box. "You don't need to do that, Steven."

"I know."

Jackie stood, yanking the curtains closed over her window. "Fine. But you're sleeping down the hall."

"Ok." Steven agreed. "You hungry?"

"Mom let the cook go."

Steven shrugged. "I can make a little something."

"Ok." Jackie stalked over to the door. "I don't know what there is though."

They ate in awkward tension, on opposite sides of the island. Steven had found some eggs and leftover ham, scrambling the ham into the eggs with some seasonings he had discovered in a cabinet. Jackie scarfed down the food, helping herself to more when she had cleared her plate. Steven didn't remark, thinking to himself that Jackie must have been going without dinner for a few nights now.

At the top of the stairs, Jackie turned to Steven, holding out her hand. "Look, I was serious. You're sleeping down the hall."

"Yeah, I know."

Jackie watched him for a couple beats, pivoting on her toes and leading the way down the hall to one of the guest rooms. She opened the door to the smallest room, revealing a lone bed. Random squares marked the wallpaper, showing where paintings had once hung. She clutched the doorknob, not stepping any further into the room than necessary.

"Do you need an extra blanket?" Jackie asked, her chin lowered.

Steven licked his lips. "No. Thanks."

Jackie's lips parted. She rose up onto her toes, like she wanted to say something, but instead mumbled 'goodnight' slipping back out into the hall.

Steven spun in a circle, taking in the room. When they had reunited after that summer, their first weekend back together, he had made love to her all over her parents' house, in every room but her parents. He tugged the belt from his jean loops, dropping it onto the floor. Plopping onto the edge of the bed, he pulled off his boots, scooting up the mattress to rest against the pillows. He was hard in his jeans, his eyes drifting shut as each memory skated across the back of his lids.

True to her word, she had been perfectly tanned, her skin a delicious shade of cocoa brown. She had tasted of strawberries, and suntan lotion, and had felt every bit the way he remembered her. It was like falling back into a dream, the way they had come together that weekend. Her breasts fit perfectly in the palm of his hand, her nipples rising at the slightest touch of his tongue.

Pressing the heels of his hands to his eyes, Steven exhaled roughly, staring up at the ceiling.

What was wrong with him?

He was mad at Jackie. Suddenly he wasn't mad at Jackie. It made him wonder if he had ever been mad at her, truly mad at her. One phone call, and he had come running. What the fuck was he doing here, in her house, sleeping over like he had the right?

Sitting up, Steven swung his legs over the sides of the mattress, staring down at his boots. He had just made up his mind to put on his boots and tell her he had to go, when the door creaked open.

Jackie poked her head into the room. "Can I come in?"

Steven didn't answer, and Jackie didn't wait for a response. She closed the door softly behind her, tugging at the belt of her robe. "I wanted to say something."

Clenching his jaws together, Steven watched Jackie enter the room, stopping before him.

"I wanted to say something to you, and I think I finally know what exactly it is." Jackie's fingers picked at her robe. Her hair had been pulled up on top of her head and her face cleaned of makeup. Resolve settled on her features. "I was mad at you. For not just telling me you wanted to marry me. For not giving in. I wanted you to come to me and apologize. You were a jerk to me, Steven."

Steven's chest rose and fell.

"You treated me like I was nothing but a trivial, bimbo. Not someone you loved. You were mean, and hurtful." Jackie licked her lips. "Maybe, yeah, maybe I shouldn't have pushed you to marriage. But things aren't perfect with me, Steven. If you'd asked me, then you'd know."

"I tried to ask you, Jackie," Steven broke in. "How many times do I have to keep asking after you tell me 'nothing'?"

"Just listen." Jackie held up a hand between them. "I missed the old you. I missed the Steven who cared, and held me, and made me feel safe. Not the Steven who laughed behind my back and made fun of me to our friends."

"I didn't-"

"Yes." Jackie interrupted. "Yes, you did."

Steven's hands spread, his mouth opening and closing like a fish. "I don't know what to say."

"'I'm sorry' sounds pretty damn good to me."

Steven's hands dropped. "I am, Jackie. I am sorry. Are you?"

Jackie's eyes narrowed. "I think that you have the most to apologize for."

"Maybe." Steven stood, staring down at her. "But that doesn't mean you're completely innocent here, either. You were selfish, Jackie, about everything. It was The Jackie Show. Suddenly, it was like I didn't matter anymore, just so long as you got what you wanted, as soon as you wanted it."

What happened next shocked Steven, he thought his heart had stopped.

Jackie shrugged. "Yeah, Steven, you're right."

Steven fell back onto the mattress. He smiled at her, as if catching her in a burn. "What?"

"I said, 'you're right'. Donna basically told me the same thing." Jackie crossed her arms, turning her face away. "So, yeah. I was selfish." She kicked out a foot, settling back on her right leg. Softly, "I'm sorry."

"Are you feeling ok?" Steven asked, unable to keep the grin from his face. "You sure you haven't been traded with an alien life force? Do I need to call in professional help?"

Jackie turned away, walking across the room to the door. "I'm not going to do this if you're going to be even more of a jerk."

"Jackie, Jackie!" Steven stood, grabbing her upper arm. "I'm sorry, yeah, that was mean. I'm sorry I made you feel that way. I didn't realize I was doing that to you."

Jackie pulled out of his grasp, her fingers rubbing her arm where he had touched her. "Now what?"

Steven took another step forward, his breath loud in his ears. Her scent was filling his senses. He thought back again to the kiss with Donna, how wrong it had felt. And how right it felt to kiss Jackie. To hold her in his arms, and to feel her bare skin against his. The smell of her hair… Tentatively he reached out to her, gently touching her neck. He felt her pulse flutter under his fingertips. "Now, no more talk about the future. Not right now."

Jackie's chest rose and fell in a pant. She stared up at him, her hands clasping her arms over her breasts.

"That's it, Jackie," Steven took another step closer. "That's all it takes."

His fingertips skimmed up the column of her throat, gliding over the shell of her ear, and cupping the back of her head. Her lips parted, her breath warming his chin.

"That's all?" Jackie asked softly.

"Yeah," Steven answered, closing the gap between them. "That's all."

"Just for now?" Jackie asked again, her eyes searching his, testing him.

"Jackie."

Her hands rose to curl around his neck. She pressed herself to him, angling her head in invitation to the kiss he bestowed upon her.

It was like coming home after a long vacation. His knees buckled, and they fell against the closed door, the both of them letting out twin moans of desire as Steven tightened his hold on her, clutching her robe in his fingers. She felt right; better than right, she felt like a phantom limb.

Tingles raced up and down his spine, and she gasped when he nipped at her lip. When she pressed her tongue to the seam of his lips, he let his mouth part gladly, accepting her saccharine tongue with a moan of pleasure of his own. Her breasts were warm and heavy in his palm, and her legs parted easily at the push of his knee. Steven pulled away briefly to grasp the back of her thighs, pushing her up the wall. Jackie wrapped her legs about his waist, diving back in to kiss him again with fervor.

They fell upon the carpet with on 'oof' pulling at each other's clothes till they were both naked, Jackie's hair falling from her bun from Steven's fingers tugging at the silky locks. He kissed her shoulders, and her stomach, kissing between her thighs, and nipped the curve of her hip. He made love to her then, sliding into her with an exhalation.

Jackie gripped his hips, not blinking, as he began to pump in and out of her. He held himself up on his hands, staring down at her. She had once gotten upset that he didn't make eye contact with her during sex; he had pissed her off even more by telling her he had never looked at any of the girls he had fucked in the eye. But this time, she was the one to look away first, her eyes closing tightly shut when Steven's thumb settled between them, rubbing her clit in tight circles. He gathered her slick wetness on the pad of his thumb, manipulating her soft skin till she was covered in a sheen of sweat, clutching at him as she came around him.

"Steven." Jackie panted, pulling him close. His hips picked up their pace, pounding into her. He spilled himself into her, gasping as he came.

Falling onto his elbows, Steven pressed his forehead to hers, panting against her mouth. He kissed her lips, her cheek, her neck, settling his face at the crease of her shoulder and throat.

Jackie had tears coursing out of the corners of her eyes. She wrapped her arms about his shoulders. "I missed you, Steven, so much."

Pulling out of her, Steven gathered her to him. He kissed her temple. "I missed you too, Pumpkin."

"Oh, Puddin'." Jackie cried, hiding her face against his chest. She clung to him, safe once more in his grasp.

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 **A/N: He, he, he. Well, there's that. For now. These two still got some shit to resolve.**

 **Please review!**


	16. Chapter 16

**The Seeker**

Bliss. Life was bliss, man.

Steven kept his eyes closed long after he had woken up, using the excuse of sleep for how his nose nuzzled Jackie's neck, and how he held her body tighter to his. Her skin felt like silk. Her hair smelt like raspberry shampoo. And best of all, she was really here. Steven was in Utopia. A Utopia better than Thomas More's depiction, man, a Utopia where he had his chick back and life was better than OK. Life was good.

Early morning light peeked through the bare window, slowly brightening the room. Steven popped an eye open, licking his lips. Jackie was facing away from him, curled on her side. Her hair had come loose, filling his vision with chocolate tresses. Softly, Steven pushed her hair aside, pressing an indulgent kiss to the back of her neck. His pelvis pressed into her ass, his hand gripping her hip.

Jackie's hips pressed back against him, telling him silently that she too was very much so awake. A hiss of want passed through his teeth, and Steven's hand traversed her belly, cupping her bare breast. He was hard in a second, his erection pressed against her butt.

"Good morning, Puddin'." Jackie whispered, turning to face him.

Hooking her leg over his hip, Steven pressed a soft kiss to her mouth. "Mornin'."

She was slick and warm between her thighs, and she gasped when his fingers pressed into her, sliding easily past her folds. Rolling onto her back, Steven brought himself to hover over her. He kissed the column of her throat, alternating little nips and licks to her skin, his eyes watching as her own drifted shut.

He hooked his finger inside of her, rubbing at the bundle of nerves deep inside. She moaned, her hands drifting up his shoulders to grip a fistful of his locks.

"God, Steven," Jackie gasped as he took a nipple into his mouth. Her back arched up against him. Slipping a second finger inside of her, Jackie's knees widened; Steven moved to her other breast. He rubbed inside of her, his thumb circling over her sweet sensitive spot outside of her. He drew an orgasm out of her quickly, watching her lasciviously as she came.

Jackie panted for a second, coming down from her high. Her bright eyes set on his, and she pushed at his shoulders, flipping their positions. Straddling his waist, Jackie bent over him, her hair curtaining his face. She kissed his mouth deeply, her syrupy tongue slick over his. She broke away pressing hot kisses to his neck, and down his chest. Playfully she nipped at his nipple, smirking up at him when he hissed.

Steven watched Jackie descend down his body, her mouth leaving wet marks on his skin, till she grew level with his erection. She grasped the base of him, briefly making eye contact.

Fireworks exploded behind his closed eyes. She worked her mouth over him, cupping his balls and lightly pulling.

"Fuck, Jackie," Steven groaned, fisting her hair. She increased her pace, and Steven swallowed thickly, pulling her off of him. "Not in your mouth. Come 'ere."

Jackie straddled his waist, taking him into her. She worked her hips over him, her hair falling around her shoulders. Her breasts bounced with each movement, and Steven reached up to cup them, his lower lip clasped between his teeth.

She watched him unblinking as he came, her hips working deep tight circles over his.

Steven pulled her down over him, his arms tight about her shoulders. He gasped into her ear trying to catch his breath. She burrowed against his neck, her warm hands settling between them on his chest.

"I'm so glad we're back together, Steven," Jackie whispered. She kissed the spot over his heart, rubbing her lips over his skin. "I missed you so much."

"I missed you, too," Steven murmured back. "Y'know, I didn't mean to do all those things." He rubbed at his eyes, feeling uncomfortable. "I just- I don't know, Jackie. Things felt different."

Jackie slid off of him, curling against his side. "I know, Puddin'. I was so scared you were going to pull away, well, even more than you already were, and that all of this was going to have been for nothing." Jackie clutched his middle, squeezing the air from his lungs. Her voice cracked, "I just, I love you so much, and you were acting like a complete _dumbass_."

"I know," Steven whispered into her hair, placing a brief kiss to her hairline. She released her grip on him, and Steven took a deep, gratifying breath. Letting his fingers trail up and down her spine, Steven's eyes drifted closed.

"Steven?" Jackie voice was cautious, and she had grown stiff at his side. Her fingers played with his sparse chest hair, tugging lightly at the strands.

Steven's hand rose to cover her own, stopping her movement. "What?"

Huffing, Jackie sat up, the sheets falling from her body. She pushed her hair aside. "I need to know something. Just one- one tiny little thing, and then I won't ask again. I promise."

Steven placed his hand on her belly, fanning his fingers over her skin. "Alright."

"I know you don't want to talk about this anymore." Jackie began. Steven's eyes narrowed. "But, we have to at least talk about it _once_ before we never talk about it again. Just once!" Steven's hand fell away from her. "Just one time, Steven, that way I quit asking you about it. Otherwise, I'm just going to ask, and ask, and ask, and ask, and ask, and ask-"

"Alright!" Steven interrupted piercingly, rubbing at his eyes. "What?"

Jackie tucked her hair behind her ears. She settled onto her knees, licking her lips. "Ok, well, I just need to know… That there's something in our future, Steven, something, _anything_ , at all. You don't have to promise to marry me right now, I just need to know that we'll always be together, and we're not wasting time."

Refusing to meet her eye, Steven instead focused on a bare spot on the wallpaper where a frame had once hung. "Before I answer ya, I need to know Jackie. Why are you so insistent about this? Why do you have to know right this damn second?"

"Because." Jackie said, rolling her eyes. She picked at the comforter. "I think everyone just assumes that since my parents are rich- were rich, whatever, that life has been all ponies and rainbows."

Biting her lip, Jackie swiped at her eyes, catching tears before they could fall. "Steven… I've spent practically all my life trying to get my parents attention. Daddy was always too busy with work, and with his secretary. Mom began to drink all the time, and suddenly, there wasn't the time to go on vacations as a family, and if we did, they left me on my own. Do you know how great it is to have a conversation with me? I am excellent at idle chitchat." She pulled a string loose, wrapping it about her pointer finger. Tugging on the free end, she pulled it tight around her finger, the skin quickly growing scarlet. "But what's worse, I remember the times when I was little, when I _was_ the center of their attention. Then one day, I just wasn't."

Steven's hand settled on her stomach again.

"And now, Daddy is in prison, and Mom is selling our home like its no big deal," Jackie gestured around the empty room, "and it's tearing me apart inside, Steven. How am I supposed to feel confident and secure in my life when it's in shambles all around me?" Roughly, she yanked the string from her finger, balling it up and tossing it away. "I'm not ok, Steven, and no one cares."

Not knowing how to answer her, Steven remained silent. He knew what she meant. In a way. He had spent most all of his childhood trying to get attention too, some sort of direction and validation. By stealing, and petty vandalism. The only difference between their childhoods was that Jackie's parents had started out loving and uplifting, whereas Edna and Bud had never done so with him. He couldn't remember them ever telling him they were proud, or even that they loved him. Idle chitchat? Yeah, fat chance.

From forgetting Steven at the mall, to showing up drunk and raucous at his little league games, Edna and Bud had left Steven with an intense desire to never have children, and to never love another person who could embarrass him in front of dozens of people. It had been enough to watch the other dads of his little league teammates toss Bud out of the game, kicking and screaming, for cursing out the other teams pitcher. The way everyone had pointed him out at shortstop, the whispers that he was _that Bud Hyde's kid_. Coach Szbornak telling him after the game was over that he wasn't welcome back to next week's game. He could still feel the shame and humiliation that had consumed him, and he had sworn on that day that never again would he be subjected to that sort of pain again.

However, Jackie wanted all the things that Steven didn't. More importantly, she needed all the things he swore he didn't.

Jackie needed someone to listen to her when she spoke, and she needed to know that she wasn't going to be abandoned in the mall by her inebriated parents. Maybe it was because she was a chick, more sensitive to that sort of thing. Maybe it was the having of the thing, only to have it ripped away. Steven couldn't understand that, he didn't remember ever having loving parents.

Steven cupped her hip. "I care, Jackie."

Tears were clouding her vision. Jackie blinked rapidly, letting them spill over her lashes. "Really?"

Sitting up, Steven swept her hair back. "Yeah. Really."

"Oh, Steven." Jackie cried, flinging herself at him. She wrapped her arms about his neck, wetting the nape of his neck with her tears. Abruptly, she pulled away, her cheeks shiny with saline. "I know I pressure you a lot. But I can't be abandoned again, Steven. It would kill me. I just can't again."

"I won't abandon ya." Steven whispered, kissing her mouth. "I won't, I promise."

Jackie smiled feebly, rubbing her fingers over her face. "Anyway." She shook her hair back, smoothing a few fly away strands. Clearing her throat, "Are you hungry? I'm _starving_ , I feel like I haven't eaten in weeks."

They pulled on their clothes, descending the stairs to the kitchen. Jackie blabbed the whole time, catching Steven up on her life since they had been apart, as he made them waffles. She told him about being fired from The Cheese Palace, and how she had heard from Stacey Dixon that the local cable station was looking for spots for their public access channel.

"So, I was thinking," Jackie said, pulling the plate of waffles closer to her, "that I could start with the weather, and weather appropriate outfits, obviously, and then move on to current events."

Steven took a seat at the bar beside her. "Current events? Don't take this the wrong way, but what do you know about current events?"

Taking a huge bite, Jackie spoke around her mouthful, "Well, my version of current events."

"Ah." Steven cut a bite of waffle, reaching over and curling his hand over Jackie's thigh. They ate in comfortable silence, their forks clinking against the porcelain plates.

Jackie paused every other bite, smoothing her hand over Steven's sideburn, or down his arm, as if she couldn't believe that he was really here beside him. Sticky, maple syrup kisses to his cheeks and mouth. Steven served them both seconds, eating till he couldn't take another bite. Leaning back on his bar stool, Steven rubbed his stomach, belching.

"Oh, my God, that was delicious." Jackie tossed down her fork, licking syrup from her fingers. She turned towards him, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "Almost as delicious as you, Puddin' Pop."

"Oh?" Steven asked coyly, turning towards her. He pulled her between his thighs, up off of her stool.

Smiling coquettishly, Jackie pressed herself against him. They began to kiss languidly, enjoying the taste of maple syrup on one another's tongues.

The front door slammed, the sound echoing throughout the empty house. Steven broke away from Jackie, turning to stare at the closed kitchen door.

"Robbers?" Steven asked, his hands tightening on Jackie's waist.

"Jacqueline?" A high-pitched feminine voice called. "Jacqueline!"

"Mom?" Jackie called back, surprised.

"Should I go?" Steven whispered, releasing her.

"No, stay." Jackie pressed down on his shoulder.

Pam breezed into the kitchen, wrapped in white fur. She smiled at Jackie and Steven, pausing before them. "Well, who's this? Sebastian? No, it's Simon, right?"

"Mom, you know Steven." Jackie bit out. She scrunched her eyes, her hand rising before her. "I thought that you were in the Poconos?"

"The Poconos?" Pam asked, confused. She stared at Jackie for a beat, than waved her hand, dismissively to the pair of them. "Oh! No, I wasn't in the Poconos, dear. Why would you think I was in the gross, dirty mountains?"

Jackie crossed her arms over her chest. "Maybe because you said you were going to the Poconos for a real estate retreat?"

"Oh, Jackie, honey, I lied!" Pam trilled, opening the fridge. She pulled out a bottle of opened wine, pulling the cork from the mouth. "You know I haven't worked for Papen Real Estate in months!"

Steven looked at the clock on the stove; nine-thirty.

"Where were you then?" Jackie asked.

Pam poured a glass of wine, shrugging so her fur coat brushed her ears. Her tanned skin was dark against the white ermine, and her dark eyes looked even duskier compared to her blond hair. Steven thought she couldn't have looked more out of place. Shrugging out of the coat, Pam laid it across the island, revealing her outfit, or lack thereof. Nope, Steven thought, now she couldn't have looked more out of place.

"Mom! What are you wearing?" Jackie cried, pointing to her mother's dress. The halter dipped to her sternum, and her back was completely exposed, the fabric starting just over her butt. Pam twirled, her dress rising to expose her toned thighs. Steven looked away.

"Do you like it? My new man friend bought it for me." Pam said conspiratorially, picking up her wine glass. She took a dainty sip. "He took me to New York City, oh, it's so beautiful in winter. I thought for sure my tan would fade, but he helped me apply lotion in all the hard places."

"First of all, _ew!_ " Jackie exclaimed. "Mom, why would you lie to me?"

"Jacqueline," Pam set her glass down, the wine sloshing over the lip, "what does it matter? I'm the parent, and you're the child, I don't have to explain myself to you."

Jackie turned to Steven, her mouth pursed. Hurt and anger flashed through her eyes.

Pam took up her coat, draping it over her forearm. She rolled her hips as she walked towards the kitchen door. Steven stared up at the ceiling, uneasy.

"Anyway, Bernard is rich!" Pam exclaimed, pausing at the door. "I told him that we had just moved in to this place, and all of our possessions was destroyed in a terrible fire. He's going to pay to furnish the house, Jackie! So we won't look destitute anymore! He gave me his checkbook, no limits!"

"Yay." Jackie said half-heartedly.

Steven grabbed Jackie's hand once Pam had left the kitchen, her perfume cloying the air. "Come on. Let's get out of here."

-x-

Steven drove them away from Point Place. He passed the reservoir, and Point Place Park. Jackie slid across the bench seat, wrapping her arms about bicep. It made it more difficult to shift, but he didn't complain.

They entered the highway, accelerating past a station wagon filled with kids. Jackie peered out the passenger window. "Where are we going?"

"I don't know, figured we'd just drive for a bit." Steven said. He freed his arm from Jackie's grasp, wrapping it about her shoulders.

"That's cool." Jackie said. She pursed her mouth and nodded along to the music. Then, "Y'know, I was thinking Steven, what if we don't tell everyone we're back together just yet?"

"How do you manage to pull that one off?" Steven asked, toying with the ends of her hair.

"We just won't act any different around them." Jackie picked at her cuticles. "It'll be like when we first got together. Secret, forbidden."

"Nice!" Steven smirked. Secret make-outs. Grabbing one another whenever they were alone. Nearly getting caught. It was what had made it so hot, knowing that he had taken her on the washing machine, but none of the others had any clue. "I'll grow my beard out again. Make it official."

"No, Steven." Jackie's hands dropped into her lap. "I hated that beard. It was so itchy and scratchy. Plus, I always found little hairs in my mouth after we made out."

"Oh, come on, Jackie!" Steven exclaimed, signaling a lane change. He hooked his wrist over the steering wheel. "That beard was badass. Made me look older, more mature. The chicks digged it."

Jackie stroked his smooth cheek. "Maybe. But I love how your smooth skin feels on my fingers."

"Alright, alright," Steven flipped on his blinker, exiting towards Kenosha. "I won't grow out the beard."

"Good." Jackie kissed his jaw. She nipped his earlobe, her warm breath heating his skin. "Now, drive on Jeeves!"

"You got it, Princess." Steven stepped on the accelerator, blazing down the asphalt.

-x-

They were like horny teenagers. Of course, Jackie thought, they _were_ teenagers, so the analogy may not have been completely accurate. But, whatever. C'est la vie, que sera, sera.

Steven drove them to the Kenosha Drive In, paying for a movie and a pop, both of which went unappreciated as they spent the entirety of the movie, and half of the next, necking in the Camino. To feel his lips on her skin, caressing her with their softness, Jackie felt like she was in euphoric bliss.

Deep in her heart, Jackie knew that they were going to make it. She knew it. There was nothing else for it. They had to.

The way Steven held her, and caressed her. She could feel it in his touch. He hadn't told her he loved her with words, but he told her with each stroke of his hand over her body. He didn't agree to marry her, but she knew, just as she knew that he loved her, that he wanted to marry her too. She was a master in love. There was nothing Steven J. Hyde could hide from her.

Her lips were pleasantly swollen and puffy. They paused their make out briefly for the second half of the movie, Steven disappearing towards the concessions to get a new pop that they guzzled quickly.

A light rain had begun to fall, making a slush of the snow that remained on the ground. Cars had begun to fill the lot, husbands and wives with little children. Their body heat had fogged the windows, and Steven flipped on the defrost, settling behind the wheel. Jackie licked her swollen lips, smoothing her hair. Chewing on the straw, Jackie brought her knees up onto the seat, staring at Steven beside her.

Steven popped a couple kernels of popcorn into his mouth. He motioned to the big screen before them. "What is this crap?"

Jackie peered through a patch of cleared windshield. The air from the defrost warmed her skin, and she puckered her mouth. "Uhm, Oh! I think its _Love_ _Story_! I love this movie!"

"Huh," Steven mumbled, "no wonder I didn't recognize it."

"It's a beautiful story, Steven," Jackie took a handful of popcorn. "It's about true love, no matter the circumstances. The way Oliver takes care of Jenny, even though his father disproves their marriage." Jackie pressed a hand to her heart. "God, I could cry with how romantic it is."

Steven made a face. "Sounds retarded."

"So you wouldn't take care of me if you found out I had a incurable disease?"

"The chances of that actually happening are slim to none, Jackie."

"But say it did, Steven. Just say it did come true. Would you take care of me?"

Steven rolled his eyes. "Yeah, Jackie, I'd take care of you. Would you take care of me?"

Jackie twirled a lock of hair around her pointer finger. "I'd take care of you. Although, I'd definitely hire a nurse for all the gross parts."

"The gross parts?" Steven laughed, his handful of popcorn pausing on the path to his mouth. "What gross parts?"

"Well, like bathing you, and wiping your butt, and all that gross stuff!" Jackie exclaimed.

"I can think of a couple ways to make bathing fun."

"Ugh! I don't even know if I'd be able to wipe our kids butts. The nanny will take care of that."

"The nanny? Kids?" Steven asked. "Sounds very much so like future talk, to me, Jacqueline."

It was Jackie's turn to roll her eyes. "Whatever." She turned to study Steven's profile, marveling how handsome he was. His nose, straight and regal. His perfect lips. She could even look past the pork chop sideburns, if she instead studied the faultless curve of his jaw, the way his curly hair settled over his forehead. Their future children were going to be gorgeous, no doubt about it.

When she used to study Michael, she compared him to a Greek god, or maybe a movie star. Unfortunately, Michael knew how handsome he was, and thus, ruined the effect. He had preened under such compliments and adorations, feathering his hair and giving her "The Kelso Smolder".

Steven though, oh. Steven didn't even realize how handsome he was. That made him all the more appealing to her.

Wadding up the popcorn bag, Steven threw it out the window into the nearby trashcan. He wiped his hands down the thighs of his jeans, sucking kernels from between his teeth. "Ready? Forman's?"

"Yeah, sure."

"10-4 Good Buddy."

-x-

"Alright, so what's the deal here?" Steven asked, parking at the curb. He scratched his temple, turning to face her. "We're gonna pretend like we're still broken up?"

Jackie took his hand. "Yeah, just for now. Bring some heat back into things."

Steven reached across the cab, cupping her cheek. "I don't know how long I'll be able to keep my hands off of you."

Jackie teased him with a light kiss, loving the way Steven looked, lustful and needy, when she pulled away. "Just give me the signal and I'll meet you somewhere, you know, private."

Curling his fingers around her neck, Steven pulled her in for a passionate kiss. His fingers tangled in her hair, and Jackie moaned against his mouth, clutching him close. Steven pulled her closer, sinking down in the drivers seat so Jackie was on his lap.

"Stop, stop," Jackie panted. She massaged her lips together. "Before you make my lips all puffy again. Then everyone will know."

"I don't give a fuck." Steven reached for her again, but Jackie slid across the seat to the passenger door.

"No, Steven." Jackie gathered her purse. She patted her hair down, smoothing the ends. "I'll see you in the basement."

Steven's head had fallen back onto the seat. He pulled at his jeans, relieving some of the pressure on his crotch. Jackie smiled at him through the passenger window. She blew him a flirty kiss before turning to jog across the lawn. Old snow and dead grass crunched under her feet. The bottoms of her corduroys were soaked, seeping into her socks.

Jackie yelped as she stepped onto the icy concrete, catching herself before her feet flew out from under her. She took the stairs down to the basement more cautiously, bursting into the dank room with a smile plastered on her face.

"Hi!" Jackie chirped. She shrugged out of her coat, flinging it over the record player. Her cheeks hurt from the width of the smile covering her face. "How is everyone today?"

"What's gotten into you?" Donna asked. She watched Jackie from her seat on the couch between Eric's knees, her arms tightly crossed over her breasts. Donna's right foot jiggled, her entire body tight and tense. "Did you take a pill out of Mrs. Forman's medicine cabinet?"

"No." Jackie replied, sinking onto the lawn chair. "It's just, a beautiful day in the neighborhood."

"Alright, Mr. Rogers." Eric said. He began to massage Donna's shoulders. Donna scowled, her shoulders rising to her ears. "Why so tense my little bumblebee?"

Donna slapped at his hands. "I just, don't want you to touch me right now. So stop."

"What's up with you lately?" Eric asked softly. "Did I do something?"

"No, you didn't do anything." Donna said, glancing at Jackie. Her blue eyes were dark, giving Jackie a look she couldn't decipher.

"Hey guys." Steven entered the basement. "What's up?"

Jackie bit her lip, watching Steven shake out of his jacket. He avoided her eye, crossing in front of her on his way to the vinyl chair across the room. Jackie resisted the impulse to smack his perfect butt. His perfectly, rounded butt. Jackie laced her fingers together in her lap, holding her breath.

"Well, Donna here was just about to tell us what's crawled up her butt." Eric said, slinking off the back of the couch. He placed his hands on his hips. "So, what is it, Donna? You've been acting weird since you got back from the water tower last night. Something happen you wanna share?"

"What?" Donna blustered, her hand rising to cover her mouth. A flush had begun on her neck, creeping up to ruddy her cheeks. Pointedly, she avoided looking at Hyde. Or Jackie, for that matter. Donna sank further into the couch. "No, nothing happened at the water tower."

"Really?" Eric asked, beginning to pace. "Because you were fine all yesterday up till you came home from hanging out with Hyde."

Eric rounded on Steven, pointing an accusing finger. "What did you do to my lady? Did you say something, y'know, completely true and hurtful?"

"I didn't do anything to your 'lady'." Steven responded cooly. He pulled the ottoman closer with the toe of his boot, crossing his ankles on top of the cushion. "Don't be pointing any fingers at me."

"Yeah, maybe Donna's just mad at you, Eric," Jackie threw in. "You are pretty stupid."

"See?" Donna said, her voice shrill. She tossed her hands up, her palms slapping down onto her thighs. "Maybe it's just _you_ , Eric!"

Donna jumped off of the couch, racing from the basement. She slammed the door behind her, the panes shaking in their frames.

"What the hell?" Eric asked, looking to Steven and Jackie in turn. "What'd I do now?"

"Oh, I don't know," Steven began, lacing his fingers behind his head, "maybe it all started about five months ago, when you decided to become a bum."

"That, or when you ditched Donna at the altar."

"Or, it could be all stemming from that time you made out with Laurie's friend from college, what was her name again, Jackie?"

"Oh, good question, Steven," Jackie propped a finger to her chin, "I think it was Kate?"

Steven snapped his fingers. "That's it, Beulah."

" _Don't_ call me Beulah, Hyde."

" _Or,_ it could be the time you said 'I love cake', instead of telling her you loved her."

"Oh, that's a good one, Steven."

"Thank you, Beulah."

" _I said don't call me that Hyde!_ "

Eric stepped between them, waving his hands like a windmill. "Ok! Ok! Shut up!"

Jackie hid a smile behind her fingers. "No need to get all shrill, Eric. Y'know, Donna probably hates that too."

"Shut up, Beulah." Eric pointed a finger at her. Jackie opened her mouth to berate him, stopping when Eric turned towards her, his eyes bright and full of fury. "This is serious, you guys. Donna has been acting like a total bitch-a-roony-doony."

"Forman, maybe you should just go talk to her." Steven crossed his arms over his chest. "Clear the air."

"I don't know why you think we can fix your problems, Eric," Jackie threw in, crossing her legs. "You gotta handle that on your own."

"True." Eric looked between Steven and Jackie. "You two do have more problems than a math quiz."

"Whatever, Forman."

Eric shook his head, his fluffy hair bouncing. "You're right, I'm just gonna go over there, figure out what the hell is up."

"You do that!" Jackie cheered, turning her head to watch Eric leave the basement.

The door had barely latched before Steven and Jackie were wound tightly about one another. Jackie's arms knocked the magazines and candles from the top of the spool table, and she moaned as Steven laid her down upon it, their lips meeting in a searing kiss.

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 **A/N: I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say y'all hated the last chapter. Either way. Love is messy, and people are people. Plus, Donna is my least favorite character. And Donna and Eric in season seven are my least favorite pairing. Anywho. Things are looking up for our Zenmasters. Let's see how long it keeps. Please review!**


	17. Chapter 17

**The Seeker**

The gang gathered at the back of the Vista Cruiser, shoulder to shoulder, peering out over the expanse of ice spread out before them. Jackie shivered in her fur coat, her arms loaded down with blankets. She hated the cold, hated what it did to her creamy skin. The toe of her boot kicked at a fresh pile of snow. Frigid wind buffeted her frame.

 _Ugh,_ Jackie thought, frowning around her.

Eric let down the tailgate, pulling a set of fishing poles closer. "Alright, gang, grab whatever you need, cause I am locking this puppy up." He stood straight, holding a fishing pole square next to him. Jackie found the resemblance uncanny. "And I'm not opening it back up again."

"Man, why couldn't you have just parked _by_ the ice shack?" Kelso asked, turning to look at Eric. He stamped his foot, snow spraying in an arc about his ankles. Kelso pointed across the one hundred fifty yards between them and the ice shack on the middle of the frozen lake. "We'll _freeze_ before we get there!"

"After what happened to your van, Kelso, I don't think so." Eric said, offering a tackle box to Donna. He shook his head in a very Mrs. Forman-esque manner, mumbling under his breath.

Donna took the tackle box roughly, not meeting Eric's eye. She bounced the tackle box against her thigh, coming to stand by Jackie at the lake's edge. Frozen cattails swayed on their stalks. Steven appeared at Jackie's other side, holding a cooler of beer like a baby in his arms. He cleared his throat, his knees locking. Jackie swore she could feel his body heat, and found that she leaned closer to him, her face turning towards him.

What she wouldn't give for a kiss. Steven glanced at her, his eye briefly winking at her behind his shades. She turned away, beaming.

"It is too cold," Fez wined. He shivered, picking up a foot and displaying the sodden cuff of his corduroys. "My Chukka boots are soaked through. This would never happen in my country."

"In your country, Fez," Steven started, stepping out onto the ice, testing, "your Chukka boots would be a thing of reverence. You'd be the first one wealthy enough to own a pair of shoes."

Fez shrugged, half-heartedly. He took up a second cooler, full of food, stepping back as Eric slammed the tailgate, locking the Cruiser with a twist of his key. Continuing to pick up his feet, Fez glared down at the snow, as if it had personally conspired against him.

"Alright, gang! Let us vamoose!" Eric led the charge onto the ice, passing Steven. Eric slid, his long legs scissoring for a moment, as he regained traction. " _Now_ let us vamoose."

Donna and Jackie shared a look, twin mouths of pursed lips showing their dissatisfaction. The ice cracked and groaned under their feet. Steven slid on the slick heels of his boots, cursing interminably as the beer rumbled in the cooler. He held the cooler from his body, attempting to quell the amount of shaking that he inflicted upon the precious brews. "Damn beer is going to be all foamy."

"It'll be fine," Donna panted, sliding as if on skates across the ice. Her long legs pumped with seamless effort, her blond hair catching in the wind. "We'll just let it sit for a while."

"Sit?" Steven came to a stop. His voice rose as Donna continued on past him. "For a while? Pinciotti, how long have we been friends now?"

Donna smirked at Steven, her cheeks flushing. Jackie's eyes narrowed. Girlish flirting was her domain, not Donna's. And especially not with Jackie's man. Not that any of them knew that Steven J. Hyde was indeed, once more her, Jacqueline Burkhart's man, but that was beside the point. The cackles had risen, and Jackie felt tension settle in the pit of her stomach.

"Donna, hold up," Jackie called. She slid forward on her toes, effortlessly skating forward to meet Donna at the head of the pack.

Donna seemed to close off a bit, blinking as if coming out of a trance. "What's up?"

"You tell me," Jackie volleyed. She readjusted her grip on her blankets, eyeing the ice shack ahead of them.

The boys fell behind them, leisurely making their way across the ice. Their laughter was bright and loud across the ice. Jackie felt Steven's gaze on her, and put an extra flaunt to her hips to show him she knew.

"I don't know what you mean," Donna said slowly, her tone belying her.

Jackie rolled her eyes. "Oh, come on, Donna, don't be so obtuse. It doesn't suit you anymore than that blonde hair."

Donna's fingers absently touched her locks. "What? I thought you said the blonde was fitting?"

"Sweetheart," Jackie started, "I lie. You should know this about me by now."

"You said it was better than the red though."

"Anything is better than that god awful red."

Donna scoffed, rolling her eyes. The ice shack loomed closer and the girls skated on in silence, the whoosh of the soles of their shoes filling the heavy silence. The ice groaned and popped under their feet, and both girls slowed, their eyes searching for weak spots.

Finally, Jackie spoke up. "So?"

"So, what?"

"So what?" Jackie reached out, grabbing Donna's arm and bringing them to a rough halt. "You've been acting weird, Pinciotti." Jackie glanced behind them at the boys. "Did something happen between you and Eric?"

"No," Donna scoffed again.

"Kelso? Fez?" Jackie persisted. " _Steven_?"

Donna's eyes briefly rounded. _Steven_ , Jackie thought. Donna snorted, the sound echoing across the frozen water. She looked hopefully at the ice shack, her foot tapping. "No, of course not!"

"You're acting guilty, Pinciotti, you're hiding something from me." Jackie's eyes narrowed at Donna, who had the grace to look ashamed, and both girls stared at one another, challenging the other with their silence.

Eric panted as he drew level with them. "Donna's got a secret?" His eyebrows rose on his forehead. "Good luck getting anything out of her. She's like the Louvre during World War 2."

"They removed all of the paintings from the halls, dumbass," Donna snapped at Eric, gliding away. Her voice resounded back to them. "The only secret there was where they hid them from the Nazi's."

Eric thrust out a hand. "See? Impossible."

Sweat puckered on Steven's forehead. "What's up?"

"Donna has a secret," Jackie supplied, gripping her armful of blankets. She rounded her eyes, knowing Steven would catch her second meaning, the thing unsaid. _I know you did something._

"Ah." Steven said, sucking his lips into his mouth. He motioned with his chin to the ice shack, mere feet from them. "We gonna keep going? This cooler is heavy."

"Yes, and my poor piggy's are frozen." Fez wined as he passed.

"It'll be ok, Little Buddy," Kelso followed behind Fez. "We'll get the little heater working. You'll be ok in no time."

Fez smiled at Kelso. "You're so good to me."

Kelso wrapped an arm about Fez's shoulders. "That's what best friends are for."

Jackie trailed behind the boys, filing into the ice shack behind them to find Donna irately pacing the far corner. She stamped over to Steven, taking a beer from the cooler before he had a chance to set it down, gulping large swallows.

"Damn, Donna, don't let the rest of us settle in or anything," Kelso said.

Jackie dropped her armload of blankets, sitting on the bench in the corner and proceeding to immediately pout. She shivered in the freezing cabin, pointedly ignoring Steven when he sat next to her on the bench.

"Alright, let's get this bad boy open." Eric said, pulling at the plywood covering the hole in the ice. Kelso helped, the two propping the wood against a far wall.

"Kelso, my toes!" Fez groaned, sitting on a second bench. He wiggled his feet pathetically. "I can no longer feel my toes!"

"Alright, alright," Kelso mumbled, sidestepping Donna to check the small propane canister attached to the heater in the corner.

"Jackie." Steven muttered, sliding closer. "Why the hell are you pouting?"

"I could really use some help, here," Eric said, untangling the fishing rods from one another: "I can't do everything by myself."

Jackie granted Steven her profile. "I know something's up. And when I find out what it is, you will be in so much trouble, Steven Hyde."

"What are you talking about?" Steven asked, confused.

"Seriously, anybody gonna help?"

"You know what I'm talking about, Steven."

"Jackie, you're acting like a loon, I thought this was supposed to be fun." He leaned closer. "Y'know, sneak outside for a quick grope and a kiss kind of fun."

"OK, seriously? I have to do everything? Driving us here wasn't enough?" Eric dropped a pole, cursing. "You people appreciate nothing."

"Shut up!" Donna yelled, crushing her empty beer can. "Just shut up! You're worse than a woman!" She threw the can down emphatically, the metal pinging off the wooden floor in the dead silence. Eric's brows knitted together. Donna pointed an accusing finger at him. "Enough! You complain about _everything_! And I'm sick of it!"

Kelso interrupted the silence, the pilot light catching on the heater. He jumped, surprised, and stepped away from the heater. "Uhm. Maybe we should leave you two alone…"

"No way." Jackie said, her eyes searching Eric and Donna.

Donna's chest heaved. Her eyes bored into Eric. "I am so _sick_ of you."

Jackie slapped her hands down on her thighs, her eyebrows rising high on her smooth forehead. This was pure gold. Finally, Donna was speaking up.

"What?" Eric's voice had grown thin and he appeared between tears and righteous indignation. "What the hell are you saying?"

"Yeah, guys, come on." Kelso jumped the hole in the ice, grabbing Fez's coat sleeve. He smiled awkwardly, pushing Fez to the door. "We'll just be outside."

"Come on, babe," Steven said under his breath, hooking his hand on Jackie's bicep. He pulled her up, leading her to the door where Fez and Kelso were exiting.

"But-!" Jackie protested. She stamped her foot once they were back on the ice. "Steven! Do you know how long I've waited to hear Donna give Eric just what he deserves?"

Steven shook his head, hands deep in his pockets. "That ain't our business, Doll."

Jackie's lower lip protruded into a fresh pout.

-x-

"What do you hear?" Jackie asked softly at Fez's shoulder.

Fez cupped his hand against the wood, ear pressed to the shell of his palm, his eyes narrowing. "Whomp, whomp, whomp." His voice rose slightly. "Whomp, whomp, whomp, whomp, whomp."

Jackie slapped his shoulder, stepping away. "Jerk."

They had been freezing their butts off outside for what felt like an eternity. Jackie's skin felt tight and dry and she began to plan tonight's facial routine, staring out over the ice. She leaned back on her right leg, her arms crossed tightly over her chest. Donna and Eric's voices were barely discernable over the rising wind.

Kelso's knees knocked together. He began to walk a small circle, like a caged cat. Fez abandoned his attempt to listen in to Eric and Donna's fight, sitting down on a metal gas can by the door and watching Kelso pace. Fez flexed his feet, the bottoms of his bell-bottoms ringed in ice.

"Man, how much longer can they go at it?" Steven asked the air, his head falling back.

"I know whenever me and Jackie went at it," Kelso smirked, "it was pretty long too."

"Pig." Jackie called disdainfully to him.

Steven frogged Kelso's arm.

"Ow! Hyde!" Kelso rubbed his deltoid. "What was that for? You and Jackie aren't even together anymore, what do you care that I did her, like, a million times?"

Steven frogged Kelso's arm again, harder.

"Damn!"

The foursome all grew silent again as the door burst open, expelling Eric into the growing dimness. He didn't acknowledge them, but tore off across the lake, towards the Cruiser, his face hidden in his coat collar.

Donna appeared in the doorway, grasping the doorframe. Her face was red and puffy, her eyes swollen, though no tears were present on her cheeks. "That's it? You're leaving now?"

"Fuck off." Eric's voice was hard, harder than Jackie could remember ever hearing before. Suddenly, he appeared lesser to her, hunched over as he sped away. She stood frozen, watching him get smaller and smaller, wracking her brain, trying to remember if she had ever heard him curse in that manner. The look she shared with Steven confirmed that even he wasn't sure when last, if ever, he had seen Eric so upset.

"What did you say to me?" Donna screeched, stumbling out of the ice shack. She began to skate after him, quickly gaining.

"Man, they do not have good luck in ice shacks." Kelso whistled low under his breath. "Remember the Wile E. Coyote feet fiasco?"

Fez nodded solemnly.

"Should we do something?" Jackie asked, stepping towards Steven.

They watched as Donna ripped Eric back by his neck of his coat, offsetting both of their balances. They tumbled to the ice, landing hard on their backs. Kelso exclaimed "Oh!"

"Holy shit!" Steven said. He grimaced, not moving, as did none of the others. It was like watching a car wreck: no matter how gruesome, they couldn't look away.

Donna shoved at Eric, who shoved back at her, as they both grappled to stand. They both came up to their knees, facing one another. Jackie gasped as Donna slapped Eric, the sound cracking back to them over the ice.

"Oh, my god," Jackie whispered, her hand rising to cover her mouth. "Ok, this is worse than I thought."

"Think it's time to go." Steven said. He darted into the ice shack, emerging with the cooler of beer. "Heater's off, let's boogie." He motioned with his chin for Jackie to follow, the both of them taking off across the lake towards the Cruiser.

Donna was blustering and crying when they drew level with her. Snot dripped from her nose. She shoved Fez away as he attempted to help her stand, sobbing obnoxiously.

"What the heck happened?" Fez asked. Donna didn't answer. She followed after Eric to the Cruiser, wiping angrily at her cheeks.

"Better hurry before we're left behind," Jackie said, her eyes watching as Eric made landfall.

They practically ran, sliding and slipping till they reached the bank. Fez used his hands, scooping handfuls of snow in an attempt to make it to the car before Eric left them all behind. Eric was behind the wheel, cranking the engine. He ignored them as they fell into the car, Jackie and Steven in the front seat, Donna still consumed in tears. The Cruiser roared to life, and Eric fumbled with the gearshift, driving away from the scene of the crime like a madman, two twin tire tracks deep in the snow.

-x-

Steven drove them to Jackie's place. They had been curiously quiet, mulling over the events of the day. Donna had eventually stopped crying, staring out of the window in a stupor till they reached home, an hour later. But Eric had stewed the entire time, elbowing at Jackie whenever they accidentally touched, and muttering profanities under his breath. For the first time, the Red in him was visible, and none of the gang knew what to do.

Maybe the duck really was a bear after all.

The Burkhart house was dark when Steven pulled into the drive, parking the Camino in front of the closed garage doors. Jackie scooted across the bench seat, exiting through the driver's side door, standing close to Steven as he grabbed the cooler of beer from the bed of the Camino.

"Don't be surprised when you walk in," Jackie said cryptically, leading the way up the porch.

Steven pursed his mouth, waiting as Jackie fumbled in the dark to unlock the front door.

Furniture. Furniture everywhere. Expensive looking oil paintings hung on the walls, and a credenza with a bowl of drooping begonias filled the main wall of the foyer.

"What the hell?" Steven asked, closing the door. He peeked into the formal dining room; crystal candle sticks, and china was set on the table. A heavy tapestry hung from the main wall.

"Yeah." Jackie said in response. She sighed, dropping her keys into her purse. "Mom's new man keeps us well stocked in fine furnishings."

Steven was surprised at the derision that fortified her words. "I thought you would be happy to be back in the lap of luxury."

Jackie led the way up the stairs, her hand gliding up the polished banister. Her hips dipped lower as she slowed briefly, picking up her pace as they neared the landing. "My father is in prison, and my mother is having affairs with strange men who think it's appropriate to furnish our home." Jackie flung open her bedroom door. "We shouldn't have had to sell our things in the first place."

 _Touché_ , Steven thought, following behind her.

"You know what you need?" Steven asked, pushing the door closed with the heel of his boot. "A beer."

"I need a hot Calgon bath, and a facial."

Steven smirked. "I could help with one of those things."

"You are disgusting!" Jackie laughed. She pulled off her jacket, dropping it to the floor. "Whatever, I still want a hot bath. I haven't felt my toes in hours."

"I would love to watch you." Steven said, gesturing with the cooler. "With beer, of course."

"Of course you would." Jackie struck a pose, her hip cocked. "I'm beautiful and about to be covered in soapy water."

Steven waited in her bedroom as Jackie got the bath ready. He knew her routine, the way she wound her hair up and tested the water four times before she actually got into the tub. The magic of watching her descend into the bubbles was gone. It was the magic of watching her get ascend from the bubbles he was more interested in seeing.

The beer was still blissfully cold, and Steven pulled back the first tab with a satisfied groan. All day he had gone without. Without a joint. Without alcohol. Who the fuck was he?

"Want music?" Steven called in to Jackie, meandering over to a small portable radio that filled the space her hi-fi had once sat.

"Yeah, perfect!" Jackie called back. There was the splashing of water, and then, "I'm in!"

Steven stuffed the radio under his arm, and grabbed the cooler, coming into the en suite. The warm air held the scent of roses. He set the radio on the counter, turning up the volume. Jackie watched him. Her head was perched on a seashell pillow, and bubbles rose up to her chin. Her face was devoid of makeup, the way Steven loved her best, and her hair was wound in a bun, soft tendrils falling around her cheeks.

Steven settled onto the floor beside the bath, facing Jackie, and leaned back against the wall. His long legs stretched before him and he sighed in content. "Want a beer?"

Jackie considered this for a moment, before accepting, her eyes drifting shut with the first sip. "Oh, that's nice. Wine would be better, but this is nice."

"See?" Steven said, clinking his beer can against hers. "This is what I've been trying to show you. Get home from a stressful day, crack open a cold one, put on some good music, and just-" Steven sipped from his beer, "-relax."

"It's crazy though." Jackie said softly, watching water bead on the aluminum can. "I can't believe they broke up like that."

Steven nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I always thought it would be because of how much of a dumbass Forman is."

Jackie shifted, the water lapping the edge of the tub. "I didn't think so."

"What do you mean?" Steven asked, surprised. "You thought it would be Donna?"

"Well, yeah," Jackie said it as though it should be obvious.

"Care to explain yourself?" Steven asked, finishing his beer and grabbing a fresh one.

"It's just… Well, Donna is so wishy-washy." Jackie's knee broke the surface of the water. "She wanted nothing more than to leave, and get out of this town, and write and sleep with hot, hairy Italian men on a beach in Sicily."

"That's strangely specific."

"And they broke up because of it!" Jackie continued. "Remember? She was afraid that Eric didn't understand that she didn't want to be like his parents. Still in the same town. A couple of kids. She wanted to explore."

She broke her soliloquy to take a sip of beer. "Then she went to California and what? Decided that the hot sand beaches and sunshine and tanned, gorgeous men weren't what she really wanted after all? I think she just missed what she knew, which was Eric."

Steven nodded, showing he was following.

"And then," Jackie's hand pinched the bridge of her nose, "that wedding. Oh, my God. They had _literally_ just broken up because she didn't want to be tied down to him, and then all of a sudden she had an intense change of heart and decided that what she did want _was_ to marry him? It just doesn't make any sense."

Steven didn't say anything. What Jackie had described, in a way, reminded him of he and Jackie. Hadn't they broken up because he wouldn't commit to her? Because he wouldn't commit and tell her that yes, what he really wanted was to marry her and give her the perfect dream life she had always imagined?

It was different too. He and Jackie weren't Forman and Donna. They had had other relationships, had loved other people, however little or much, and knew the differences between feeling trapped and being cautious. He wanted Jackie just as much as she wanted him.

The other difference was that he and Jackie communicated. Well. About as well as he could communicate to her, he did. If she listened to what he said, or didn't, that was her own problem.

"Don't you agree?" Jackie asked.

Steven shrugged. "I guess so, yeah. You bring up some valid points."

Jackie played with a wayward bubble, her finger trailing it as it rose from the bath. "Even I thought that they would make it. Work through their problems. They've been together forever."

Forever. There was that word Jackie threw around like it was nothing. Steven was positive Jackie had no inkling as to what forever really meant. Feelings changed. _People_ changed, man, wasn't that evident enough in their friends?

And then suddenly it hit him. One day, he'd be older. She'd be older. They'd be different people too. Would they still be people who wanted to share a life together? Would they still love one another and have conversations and be able to comfortably hang out?

Apprehension settled in his belly and Steven covered it with more beer. Let them cross that bridge when they came to it, not before.

"I can't say I'm really all that surprised though, really, when I think about it." Jackie stared at him, her large eyes boring into him. "They've always disagreed. They were better friends, than lovers."

Steven nodded his head slowly, staring around the bathroom. "True."

They shared silence for a moment, drinking their beers. Music filled the small room and Steven began to hum along, his head drifting back to rest on the wall.

Jackie flicked water at him, smirking when he jumped in surprise. She stood, suddenly, water cascading from her form, bubbles clinging to her skin. She placed her hands on her hips, and stepped onto the frilly pink bathmat, her feet straddling his knees. Her voice was full of laughter when she spoke.

"You gonna make love to me, or what?"

-x-

Steven rubbed at his eyes, trying his hardest to not look at the watch wrapped around his arm. He had left Jackie what felt like hours ago. He had driven home euphoric; temporarily having forgotten the drama of the day, he marveled at the skill of Jackie, in drawing him away from the world, where only they lived and breathed, in a cocoon of their own.

That was, until he had arrived home and skipped down to the basement. Kelso and Fez were sitting together on the couch, watching Eric. For his part, Eric was handling things exceptionally well. Too well. He didn't throw things. He didn't explain anything at all, or tell them about the break up. He just sat and smoked a joint, drank a beer, and avoided any attempt to draw him into conversation.

Kelso kept glancing at Steven, his eyebrows rising on his head. Fez battled sleep, dark circles ringed his eyes and he jerked up every minute or so, catching himself before he fell asleep.

Steven's feet fell from the mushroom ottoman with a loud clatter. He propped his elbows onto his knees, his exhaustion hitting him. A cloud of marijuana smoke filled the basement, though he and Kelso and Fez had stopped smoking long ago. His eyes betrayed him, looking down at the watch on his wrist. The hands read four in the morning. Forman was going to hotbox the whole of the basement by himself at this rate.

Steven glanced at Kelso. He cleared his throat. "Forman."

Eric brought the joint to his lips, nearly missing his mouth.

"Hey. Forman."

No response was forthcoming.

"If you're just gonna to sit here and get stoned and not talk, we're gonna leave."

Nothing.

"Alright, man, whatever."

They all three stood together.

"She called me a lazy son of a bitch." Eric's hand rested on his knee, the joint hovering between his pointer and thumb.

In unison they all sat again.

Eric rubbed at his red eyes. "She said I had ruined the past year, was selfish, and had broke her heart."

"How have you broken her heart?" Fez whispered softly, suddenly awake.

Silently, Steven pulled a new joint from his pocket, lighting up. He took a long toke, passing it to Kelso beside him.

"I don't know." Eric said. His tone was neutral, defeated. Gone was the anger. Gone was the hurt. He was a shell.

"Well, what did she say?" Steven asked. "You two were in there for a pretty long time."

Eric's eyes rose, settling on Steven. Languidly, he brought the joint to his mouth again, now barely more than a roach and sucked on the end of the paper. Steven found it unsettling the way Eric stared, unblinking at him, but didn't move or show outward discomfort.

"She said, and I quote, that if she'd known what it meant to come home with me from California, she would've just stayed." Smoke drifted from Eric's lips as he spoke. "And she cheated on me."

Icy fingers trailed down Steven's scalp and back.

"What?" Kelso burst in. His hands rose before him in vindication. "It wasn't with me, dude, I swear."

"No, I know." Eric said. "I know it wasn't you, Kelso."

"Did she say who it was?" Fez leaned forward, his eyes full of concern.

Eric looked at Steven again. "Yup."

"Who?" Fez asked.

Steven's face grew hard. He felt frozen. Why was he always doing stupid shit? Donna had been with Eric when he had kissed her, but that was all it was, a kiss. He hadn't fucked her, or anything else. He had been a friend, helping out another friend. She had cried.

Eric's gaze dropped. "Doesn't matter."

"You're not going to tell us?" Kelso asked. "How are we supposed to kick some ass if you don't tell us whose to kick?"

"They'll get theirs." Was all Eric gave in reply.

The joint made it back to Steven and he took it without thought, sucking on the end, and filling his lungs with smoke.

"You'll be ok, Eric," Fez said, patting Eric's knee comfortingly. "I know people say this all the time, but it'll be ok. Just look at Hyde. He and Jackie have been broken up and they're fine."

Eric stared at Steven once more. "Yup."

"Well, I'm beat." Kelso said. He stood from the couch and stretched. "You alright, Forman?"

"Yup."

"We'll be here tomorrow." And Kelso and Fez left, closing the basement door behind them.

Silence, heavy and full of emotion stretched between the two men. Electricity charged the air, like right before lightening strikes, and Steven felt the hairs on his arms rise. He felt like at any moment Eric was going to strike, and who could blame him?

"You wanna talk about it?" Steven asked.

"What would you have to say to me?" Eric lobbed. "That you helped my girlfriend realize she didn't really love me? That you've ruined my life? You gonna apologize, like it'll just magically make everything better?"

"Man, all it was, was a kiss." Steven burst. He heard the desperation in his voice. Eric was his oldest friend, his best friend. "She was crying. She was asking me all these questions, about the future and about Jackie, and I don't know."

"Stop." Eric interrupted.

"It wasn't right, and it didn't feel right to me, and I told her I couldn't." Steven continued.

"But you did." Eric stated. Again, the hardness laced his voice. "You did it."

"Man, I'm a fucking idiot, you know that. I can't stand when chicks cry, and Donna's my friend too." Steven pleaded with Eric, feeling as small as the lowest scum of the Earth. "She asked as a friend. I helped her as a friend."

"Nice to see you're so good to _all_ of your friends." Eric replied.

Steven's head dropped and he stared at the floor. He felt Eric's burning hot gaze on the back of his neck. Silence fell over them once more. Shame, hot and piercing, struck his heart. He had broken the code. He had kissed her, when he knew she belonged to his friend. He should have told her no, let her cry, let her come home to her boyfriend and cry to him.

Steven scoffed under his breath, his hands rising to cup his face. His fingers pressed into his eyes.

Donna had made him her fucking scapegoat.

If she had never cheated on Forman, Forman would be thinking of ways to get her back. They would be talking, working things out, maybe not now, but maybe tomorrow. What Donna had done was throw a wrench between two best friends, and all callously and without thought of the consequences. There was a reason she had chosen him, and not Kelso, or Fez.

Donna knew that Steven wouldn't say no, knew that he would be sympathetic towards her pain. Maybe she knew it was that he wouldn't try to fuck her. Maybe that was what she had hoped would happen. Some kind of romp in the Camino, something even more heartless to break Eric more.

"Forman," Steven stood, his hands falling to his sides. "Look, man, I am sorry I've hurt you. It was a shitty thing to do, to kiss her. I had only the best intentions, to help. But you gotta take the responsibility here. There was a reason she asked me to kiss her."

"She _asked_ you to kiss her?" Eric seemed surprised by that tidbit of information.

"Well, yeah. You think I'd make a move on Donna?"

"You've done it before."

"Man, that was years ago. I don't want Donna; I don't think I ever truly did. She and I are like oil and water, man, it would never work."

Eric's knees spread. "How did she ask you?"

"She said she needed to know something. She simply asked me to kiss her." Steven shrugged.

"Did you touch her?" Eric's eyes were rimmed with tears now. "Did she touch you?"

"No!" Steven said emphatically. "No, man, nothing like that. I didn't even use my tongue."

Eric sucked his lips into his mouth, a lone tear falling.

"I wanted Jackie, man." Steven admitted. "I wanted it to be Jackie."

These were the things that Steven would never say to Kelso or Fez. They would sneer at his vulnerability. They would mock his need of her. But Eric understood, or had, the hold that Jackie had on him. Through everything, Eric had been kind and supportive. Eric had listened, even though he despised Jackie, and given sage advice.

"Alright," Eric leaned forward, his hands gripping the arms of the lawn chair. "Look, I can't talk about this anymore."

"Alright," Steven said.

Eric stood, crossing to the stairs. He paused on the landing, coming down two steps. "This doesn't mean everything's good between us."

Steven felt his shoulders drop. "Yeah. I know."

Eric blinked a couple times, turned and left.

Fuck. Now what was he going to do?

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 **A/N: Does Steven tell Jackie? Does ERIC TELL JACKIE? DOES JACKIE EVEN FIND OUT?! Dun, dun, dun.**

 **Y'all honestly can't be surprised by my breaking up Eric and Donna. And if you are, have you even been reading the story? Please ignore any grammatical errors, por favor.**


	18. Chapter 18

**The Seeker**

Time was intangible in Steven's basement bedroom when he jerked awake some hours later. His left shoulder and hip ached. He felt like he had slept for an hour, maybe two, but without windows in the small basement closet, it was impossible to tell if the sun had yet risen. He stretched, rolling onto his back. The pillow under his head was hard, and his neck ached with discomfort.

It seemed a worthy beginning to his punishment.

Steven awoke already feeling guilty, the angry fingers that had clamped his stomach early this morning clenching down on him now in a vice grip. A part of him wished to stay in his closet bedroom for the rest of the day. Maybe he could feign a sickness, avoid everyone, even Jackie. But that wasn't in his nature. He didn't ignore problems, sweeping them under the rug like nothing. That had been how Bud had "handled" his problems. Steven wasn't going to end up like his stepfather, not if he could help it.

The climb up the stairs into the kitchen felt like his last walk before execution. With each step, his heart beat a bit faster under his breastbone and he found he was anxious to know what Eric would say or do, if anything, when they came face to face.

Red and Kitty were alone at the breakfast table, and both turned to Steven, greeting him a good morning. They were dressed for the day, Red reading a paper. The sigh that fell from Steven's lips surprised him; he hadn't realized he'd been holding his breath.

"Here, Steven, the eggs are still warm." Kitty said, motioning for him to sit. She clucked her tongue at his pouring of coffee. "Growing boys need _juice_ , Steven, not coffee! Here, let me make you some orange juice."

Before Steven could protest, Kitty had risen from the table. She took a frozen can of orange juice from the freezer and began to prepare it, humming under her breath.

Red shook out his paper, straightening the page. He absently ate his bacon, crunching on the pork between reading columns.

Steven heaped food on his plate. Guilt always made him ravenous, and Kitty's excellent cooking was the only thing to satisfy. Red spared him a glance, eyeing mountain of pancakes Steven drenched in syrup.

"Here," Kitty said, placing a full cup of orange juice in front of Steven. She sat again, pulling her own mug of coffee towards herself.

"Thanks, Mrs. F." Steven managed to say around a mouthful of pancakes.

"Of course, sweetie," Kitty smiled at him over the rim of her coffee mug. She watched him put away four pancakes, heap eggs onto his plate and demolish those, and help himself to a rasher of bacon without comment. Her eyes narrowed, a deep furrow forming between her brows. Steven was reaching for the sausages when the kitchen door swung inwards, and Eric appeared.

The threesome watched, one with trepidation, as Eric poured himself a glass of orange juice at the counter, sitting at the table as though without a care in the world.

"You're up early, Snicklefritz!" Kitty remarked. "Did you not sleep well last night?"

"Meh," Eric said noncommittally, spooning the last of the eggs onto his plate.

Steven abandoned the sausages, focusing instead on his coffee. He'd need the energy to deal with whatever Forman had in store for him.

Red peered at his son over the top of his paper. "What's wrong with you?"

Kitty looked closer at Eric. "Something does seem off, dear."

"I'm fine." Eric took a large bite, as if that would give proof.

Red folded his paper, turning to face the table. "No," he said slowly, "something's up. You on dope?"

"Oh, honey!" Kitty exclaimed, griping Eric's arm. "There's all sorts of help we could get you, you just have to tell us."

Steven waited with bated breath.

Eric's shoulders rose and fell. He continued to eat as though nothing were bothering him. "No, actually, I was planning on going to the high school today, see what I can do about getting into college."

Red's mouth pursed in surprise and satisfaction. He shook out his paper, searching for his spot. "That sounds like an excellent idea. The sooner you're out of my house, the better."

"Red." Kitty admonished. She turned to Eric. "Honey, whatever you decide to do, will be perfectly fine with us. And with Donna so close, of course you can stay here."

"Kitty, quit telling the boy to stay," Red looked to his wife, his voice pained. "If he wants to go, by all means, let him!"

"He's just a boy, Red."

"He's eighteen!"

"He doesn't even know how to do laundry, what's he going to do out on his own? He'll run out of clean underwear in a week!"

"He'll learn."

"Uhm, guys?" Eric broke in. "I'll be fine. I'm going to get a job and start saving some money, and I'll probably be out of here by the beginning of the fall semester. Don't worry about me."

"Of course I'm going to worry about my baby."

"You sure came to this decision quick." Red remarked. Steven couldn't say he didn't disagree. Though Steven knew the reason for Eric's making of plans, he remained out of the conversation, only his head turning to follow the dialogue. Red pointed a finger at Eric. "Did something hit you in the head? Steven, did the Dumbass hit his head?"

Steven shrugged.

"No, I didn't hit my head." Eric said, staring down at his plate. He took a deep, steadying breath. "Donna and I broke up."

"What?" Kitty cried. "But how? What? When?"

"Last night." Eric stabbed a pair of sausages onto his fork, bringing them to his plate. "Look, I don't want to talk about it. I just want to eat breakfast and get going with my day."

"Alright then." Red turned back to his paper.

Kitty frowned at her husband. Her voice was low in the back of her throat. "Red. You need to say something."

"He just said he doesn't want to talk about it, Kitty!" Red said, hiding behind the morning edition.

Kitty placed her hand on Eric's forearm once more. "Sweetheart, if you do want to talk about it, your father and I are here to listen, ok?"

Eric nodded, swallowing thickly. "Yeah, mom thanks."

Silence fell over the table. Steven's eyes dropped to his cup of coffee. His hands felt large around the white porcelain, and he eyed his cuticles, for lack of anything better to do. Jackie would have a field day if he let her give him the manicure she so desperately wanted to bestow upon him.

"Hyde, you wanna come with?" Eric asked, standing from the table. He wiped the corners of his mouth with a napkin, dropping it back onto his plate.

Steven took a deep breath. _So this is how it's gonna go._ "Yeah, man, sure."

Steven took his plate to the sink, rinsing it off. He made a comment about needing his wallet, disappearing into the basement for his effects. Eric was waiting for him in the drive, beside the Vista Cruiser. The sun had made an appearance, blinding them with its rays. Eric's face was upturned to the sky, his green eyes closed. When Steven called his name, he didn't jump, but lazily looked at his old friend. The deadness that zinged Steven was unsettling.

The Cruiser rumbled to life, and they drove away from the house with the radio filling the otherwise stillness.

Point Place High School was only ten minutes from the Forman's house. The snow glittered in the sunlight, piled high to either side of the street. Steven's breath fogged the passenger window.

" _This is Hot Donna, on WFPP. Up next we have The Cars followed up with the Farm Report. Keep on, keepin' on listeners!"_

Steven glanced at Eric as _Moving In Stereo_ began to play. Eric acted as though he hadn't heard anything out of the ordinary. When he and Donna had broken up before, Eric had become irrationally angry every time he heard her voice, on the radio or in person, but now… Now he acted as if he had never known a Donna Pinciotti, or had a heart broken by her, not once, but twice.

Eric parked in the visitor's area, right in front of the school. Steven felt his toes flex in his boots, pressing against the leather. They hadn't spoken the entire trip here, and Steven felt the tension increase across his shoulders. It was like when he shoplifted, that familiar tension that alighted his muscles in case he needed to bolt.

"God, I hate this place," Eric said, staring out the windshield at the bricked building. He shifted his weight, pulling his keys from the ignition. "Memories of getting wedgies in gym. Give and Take Back breaking all my pencils before my English final. Donna in that blue dress at Prom."

Steven reached for the door, his fingers wrapping around the cold metal handle. "Yeah. Lots of memories."

"I bet you and Jackie have a lot of memories here too." Eric said, his tone neutral, but his eyes alight. "Stairwells. Empty classrooms. Y'know, secret places and spaces."

Jackie and he had fooled around, and made out, in multiple areas of the school, true. Steven was quiet, processing Eric's words. From what he could hastily deduce, Eric wanted him to feel pain, walking past an alcove where he had felt Jackie up, or a classroom where they had necked between classes. Pain that Eric himself would feel, passing by places he had done the same with Donna, as they walked to the counselor's office.

"Yeah, I know what you're getting at," Steven said, pulling the door handle. He stepped out into the cold, pulling his jacket tightly about his middle.

A bell rang; student's voices filled the air. Steven followed Eric up the main stairs into the school.

God, did he hate this place too. Just the smell of the air, of stale books and cheap cleaning chemicals, the way the halls were packed, students battering one another in an attempt to make it to their next class on time. Coach Ferguson emerged from his class, tugging at his waistband. His dark eyes found Eric and Steven and he watched them shrewdly as they merged into the sea.

Stuffing his hands into his coat pockets, Steven was glad of Eric's bony frame in front of him, parting the crowd. They arrived fairly quickly to the office, darting inside. Steven was glad he hadn't seen Jackie. He wasn't sure how she would react to seeing him here, and didn't want to give Forman any more fodder for whatever he was planning.

"Eric Forman!" Mrs. Leonard cooed from her spot by Principal Cooper's office. Her bright blue eyes landed on Steven. "And Mr. Hyde, still out of prison, I see."

"It's been an off year for me." Steven replied, smirking at her.

"Naughty." Mrs. Leonard said. She folded her hands on top of her desk. "What can I do for you boys?"

"Oh, well," Eric leaned onto her desk, whispering conspiratorially. Mrs. Leonard leaned her copious bosom onto the desk top, her eyes bright as they studied Eric. "I was hoping there was someone available to give me some information. For college."

"College, huh?" Mrs. Leonard smiled. "Oh, honey, of course! Let me see who's free."

Steven took a seat along the wall next to Principal Cooper's office. It was like he had been dropped back in time. He had spent most of his high school career right here. In trouble for skipping class. For refusing to wear gym shorts. For filling Mrs. Novak's classroom with hidden alarm clocks, set to go off every two minutes. He still wasn't sure how they had pinpointed him for that one. Someone had most likely squealed on him.

Eric fell into a seat beside him. "I bet you have a lot of memories of this place."

"Yeah, about as much as anywhere else." Steven replied. His fingers tapped out a cadence on his thighs.

"Mmm," Eric hummed. "Lots of memories. Of places. And people. Doing things with people in places."

Steven rolled his eyes, turning away. Forman lacked all subtlety. They fell into a tense muteness. Phones rang, and Ms. Fischer punched away at her typewriter, her eyes reading a page on the desk next to her.

"Eric Forman?"

Steven and Eric turned to Mr. Bray. The balding man, tugging at the collar of his turtleneck, seemed upset.

"Yeah, that's me," Eric stood.

Mr. Bray sighed. He seemed disappointed. "I thought the bullies would've gotten you." His eyes landed on Steven. "Then again, maybe they did."

"Hey, man, I never bullied anyone." Steven exhaled roughly. He pushed himself up in the chair. "If anything, I was a hired gun."

"Mmm." Mr. Bray hooked his finger, motioning for Eric to follow him into his office. "This way, Mr. Forman."

Steven watched them disappear into Mr. Bray's office, and then stalked away, sharing a small smirk of disapproval with Mrs. Leonard and Ms. Fischer as he left. His fingers itched for a joint, or a cigarette, and he hurried down the empty hallway towards the entrance.

The cold air was a balm on his face. He slid onto the hood of the Cruiser, pulling a crushed pack of cigarettes from his pocket. His fingers smoothed the paper, straightening it out.

The nicotine filled his lungs, his fingers twitching as his body accepted the smoke. He stared up at the school, wondering where Jackie was, and wishing he could somehow get her out. He could roam the halls, peak into classroom windows and hope to spot her. But he had a higher chance of running into Principal Cooper and being accused of vandalism.

He had smoked through three cigarettes when Eric emerged from the school. Eric had a handful of papers, and he hid them from Steven as they clambered back into the Vista Cruiser, hiding them from him in the back seat. Curiosity bit at Steven and he peered over the bench seat, trying to read the words. What in the world could Forman have to hide? An early rejection letter from the University of Wisconsin?

"Thinkin' of going on a little road trip." Eric announced. "Get away for a bit."

Steven stopped trying to read the papers Mr. Bray had given Forman. "Where you going to go?"

Eric's shoulders rose and fell. "Anywhere. That's the beauty of it. I can go anywhere."

"You don't have any money."

"I have enough. More now that I don't have to pay for dates with Donna." Eric pulled out of the school parking lot, heading back towards home. His long thin fingers were white on the steering wheel. "Besides, it's _the road_ , I'll eat with other travelers and get food on the cheap from, like, truck stops and stuff."

"Sounds like you're going to have a serious case of the shits, Forman," Steven said. He looked ahead out the windshield, processing what Eric had said. "How long are you going to be gone?"

"However long it takes." Eric said cryptically.

"Takes for what?"

"How long did it take you to get over Jackie?" Eric asked.

Steven rubbed his palms down his thighs. That was a loaded question. He hadn't had to get over Jackie, because he had gotten Jackie back. Not that Forman was aware, of course. And if Steven had anything to say, Forman wouldn't know for a while. All he needed was Forman spilling the beans to Jackie that he had kissed Donna while they were broken up. Jackie didn't need to know that. It was unnecessary and would hurt Jackie far more than it should.

"So you're going away to forget about Donna?" Steven said instead. "Isn't that what Donna did when you two broke up a year ago?"

"It's not the same." Eric signaled his turn into the neighborhood. They came to a stop at the red light. He stared out the driver's side window, his poufy hair blocking Steven from seeing any part of his face. "Donna ran away because I had rejected her after Casey Kelso, and because she was embarrassed. I'm just pissed off."

"You don't seem that pissed off." Steven half-chuckled. "If it were me, I'd be punching things and stealing shit."

Eric pressed the accelerator. "Yeah, well, I'm not you."

Steven's eyebrow quirked. "True."

"Anyway, I'll probably leave tonight, think about what I want to do for college and come back a whole, brand new man." Eric pulled into the drive, behind the Toyota. "Who knows, I may meet the love of my life on the road."

 _Doubt it,_ Steven thought. "Forman. Are you still mad at me? Is that what this is about? Man, we've been friends for forever, can't we just talk it out like we used to?"

Eric didn't answer. His baleful eyes held Steven captive for a moment, and then Eric was out of the car, passing between the Cruiser and the Toyota into the house.

"I'll take that as a yes, and a no." Steven mumbled, exiting the car.

He didn't return to the house, but walked down to the Camino. There were things to do, and Grooves needed his attention. The store was busy when he arrived, and the hours passed by in a blur. Angie was a pest, stopping him in the middle of a conversation to ask what music went with what. Then Kelso showed up sometime around lunchtime, sweeping her away into the office where they shut the door and closed the blinds. Bile rose up the back of Steven's throat.

Fez and Jackie arrived together around five, sweeping through the door like they had stepped out of a magazine. Jackie, perfectly coifed and put together, and Fez, pants too tight as always. They plopped onto a couch in the listening pit, continuing with their conversation.

Steven meandered past them, giving them both an uplifted chin in greeting. Jackie watched him as he moved about the store, sorting records. He could feel her inspecting him, and he felt his ears burning, as if he were the topic of conversation between her and Fez. His suspicions were confirmed when he passed by again and their voices dropped mid-sentence.

Fez couldn't have already known that Steven had kissed Donna. Right? Steven didn't think Forman was spreading that news around yet. But if Fez did know, and he told Jackie…

Steven stopped behind the register, looking up at Jackie. She flipped through a magazine, her eyes pinging between the glossy pages and Fez's face. At most she seemed bored with the conversation, at best as if she were hearing information she had already heard before. If she knew that Steven had kissed Donna she'd be up here, wailing on him. She'd have kicked his shins black and blue and cried. She wouldn't still be here, obviously waiting for the store to close, or a private moment she could steal away with him.

Guilt ran rampant through him again. Damn Donna. Damn her and all her fucking principles. Or lack thereof. She acted all high and mighty, like she was above the law, and here she was, causing the worst drama that the group had suffered yet.

Kelso and Angie finally emerged from the office, rearranging their clothes. Their mouths were puffy and red, and Steven glared at Kelso till he was out of the store. He couldn't wait till Kelso and Angie broke up.

Angie avoided meeting Steven for the rest of the time she was at the store, flitting around taking notes. She knew his feelings about her dating Kelso. She waved goodbye to him at six, calling from the door. Steven merely shook his head.

Fez also left soon after Angie, leaving Jackie alone in the listening pit. She tossed her magazine back onto the coffee table, wandering the aisles for a record to play. Her body wasn't tense, at least from what Steven could tell, and her face was passive. She mouthed along to Zeppelin playing overhead and selected a record that Steven knew he'd hate.

"Will you play this?" Jackie asked, bringing the vinyl up to the counter. Her lower lip plumped into a pout. "Pwease?"

Steven took the record, scowling down at the cover. "Jackie. This is a rock record store. We can't play this crap."

Jackie leaned against the counter, her eyes rounded like a puppy. "But Steven…"

"No, pick something else." Steven handed her back the Carpenters, firm.

"Olivia Newton-John?"

"No."

"Bee Gees?"

"Are you trying to kill me?"

Jackie huffed. "Well, can we listen to something other than Zeppelin? You've been playing it since I got here."

"Hey, if they didn't rock so hard, I wouldn't play them so much." Steven said, settling on the stool behind the register.

"Please, Steven?" Jackie asked, the pout gone.

"Ugh, fine." Steven twirled on the stool, looking up at the tapes behind him. "Judas Priest?"

"No."

"AC/DC?"

Jackie came around the counter, standing close beside him. "Why not The Cars or something? Bob Seger? Why does it always have to be something that would make us go deaf if we saw them in concert?"

"Seger?" Steven said doubtfully. He pulled a tape from the shelf, studying it. "I guess, yeah."

A sweet kiss landed on his cheek. Raspberries filled his senses. "Thank you, Puddin'."

"Anything for you, Doll," Steven said, smiling despite himself. He waited till the _Battle of Evermore_ came to a close, and switched over the music, letting Bob Seger fill the store. The few stragglers left didn't put up any complaints, and Jackie, happy, even tapped her toe along to the beat when she sat back down in the listening pit.

At eight, Steven herded out the last two customers, flipping the sign to closed. Jackie had taken off her shoes, and was watching him from her spot.

"You eat anything yet?" Steven asked on his way back to the office. "I'm starving."

Jackie followed him, silent on bare feet. "No, not yet."

"You alright?" Steven asked. He looked up at her, pausing in his counting of the days money.

"It was just a weird day, is all." Jackie leaned against the doorframe. "I missed you."

Steven smiled at her, penciling in the figures. He put the money in the deposit bag, locking it in the safe with a twirl of the dial. Jackie melted into his embrace when he stood, her chin tucked under his chin.

"I missed you too, Pumpkin."

Jackie's arms tightened around him. "I don't want to go to the basement tonight. I want it to just be us."

"Ok," Steven said. "You wanna go to your place?"

Pulling away, Jackie left the office. "No, Mom and Richard are there."

Steven grabbed his coat and wallet, following Jackie from the small room. "Alright, then where do you wanna go?"

"Let's get food and go out to the reservoir or something," Jackie said. She was doing the zippers on her boots, pulling her pant legs down over her ankles again. "I don't care. Just somewhere away."

"Alright." Steven said, slipping into his coat.

He drove them to Fatso Burger, and then to Point Place Park, to the Overlook. They hadn't been up here since Forman and Donna's wedding that never was. The trees were bare, and snow covered most of the ground. Steven parked the Camino further away from the Overlook than he would under summer circumstances, and they stayed in the Camino's relative warmth, eating their burgers and fries in companionable silence.

"Forman's leaving." Steven announced. The words had escaped him before he had time to think about it.

Jackie turned to face him on the bench seat. "What? Where's he going?"

"He said he needs to get out of here, away from Point Place," Steven explained, munching on a fry. "So he said he's going out on the road, like Jack Kerouac or somethin', I guess."

"That sounds dumb," Jackie mumbled.

"What do you mean?"

Jackie sipped her soda. "I just mean, what is it with those two and running away from each other whenever something happens? Donna ran away to California, and now Eric's running away to apparently be murdered on the road. It's just stupid."

"I guess," Steven said. He wadded up the wrappings to his burgers, stuffing them back in the bag. "I get it though. If something happened between us, I'd probably get the hell out of dodge too."

Rolling her eyes, Jackie gave Steven a look that clearly told him to get real. "Nothing's going to happen to us, Steven."

"I was just sayin'." Steven sipped his drink. "I don't want anything to happen to us, it was just a thought."

"Where would you go?" Jackie asked.

"Why? So you can come track me down and kick my ass?" Steven asked smiling.

Jackie smirked at him. "Duh."

"I don't know. Somewhere I've never been before. Which is everywhere. New York City maybe?"

"It's dirty there. And crowded with people. You'd hate it." Jackie finished her burger. She wadded up her wrappings, tossing them in the bag on top of Steven's. "Well, the crowded with people bit. Dirty is your bread and butter."

Steven shrugged. "I don't know, then, maybe Vegas?"

"Yeah, you'd like that place. Free booze while gambling and strippers." Jackie sounded somewhat disappointed in him, but she smiled at him when they made eye contact. "You'd probably want to honeymoon there."

"Vegas?" Steven asked. "Nah. That'd be like, fiftieth wedding anniversary."

Jackie bit her lip, swallowing whatever it was she wanted to say. Her fingers ran obsessively over and over the seam down the leg of her jeans.

Steven rolled down the driver's window, tossing the bag of trash into the bed of the Camino. Snow swirled into the cab, and Steven quickly rolled the window up again, shivering at the dichotomy. Jackie reached across the cab, offering him her hand. Steven pulled her close, wrapping an arm about her shoulders.

"I love you, Jackie," Steven whispered into her hair. He kissed the crown of her head, his nostrils filling with the scent of raspberries again.

Jackie tightened her hold on his middle, sighing in contentment. They sat that way for some time, wrapped around one another, and silent. Steven considered telling Jackie the truth, about how he had kissed Donna. That Eric was mad at him and possibly their friendship was forever destroyed. The words rose like vomit onto his tongue, but he swallowed them back, fighting the urge. He had just gotten Jackie back. He couldn't lose her again, not so soon. This was just one of those things, one of those things he had to forget and then it'd be like it never happened.

Red had secrets from Kitty. He was sure Kitty had secrets from Red. Hell, for all he knew Jackie had secrets from him. What did it matter? They had been broken up; it wasn't like he had cheated on her, even if it did feel that way.

Jackie's hand stroked his chest over his shirt, her fingertips drawing small circles. Her breathing had changed, and her posture was tense in his arms. She angled her head, bringing her lips to his neck. For a moment she let her warm breath wash over his skin, and then, as if unsure, the tip of her tongue made contact, followed by her lips. She placed small, wet kisses to his throat, shifting her position.

Steven took off his sunglasses, setting them on the dash. Jackie's face was shadowed when she came up onto her knees, pushing her way into his lap. The Camino idled under them, the heater blasting them with warm air. Her plump lower lip rubbed against his mouth and then she was kissing him deeply. They both moaned at the contact, Steven's arms wrapping about her, his fingers gripping her coat tightly.

"Take this off," Steven demanded, breaking away. He tugged at her coat, helping her slide it down her arms. She was breathless and insistent, throwing the coat into her seat with impatience at being separated from him.

Steven cupped her face, bringing her in for another searing kiss. God, how he had missed this when it wasn't his. The way she felt, the way she smelt, the way she nipped at his lip and rocked her pelvis over him. He had missed the physical and the mental. He had missed it all.

"Make love to me, Steven," Jackie whispered huskily. She pulled her shirt over her head, her fingers reaching behind her to undo the clasp on her bra. "God, I want you so much."

He took his time with her, making love to her as best he could in the cramped car. The windows were fogged over, cocooning them from the outside world. All there was was he and Jackie. All there ever would be was he and Jackie.

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 **A/N: A little shorter than the usual, but that's all right. Our Zennies are safe. Oh! I had a reviewer ask about Riverdale, and maybe? I've never watched the show, so I don't know exactly the reference. Anything I wrote wasn't written with that intention to match. Anywho, please drop in a review! I'll try to have the next chapter out soon. Much love!**


	19. Chapter 19

**The Seeker**

Eric couldn't get the image out of his head.

He tossed and turned for hours, bouncing upon the firm twin mattress, his eyes resolutely wide open. If they dropped closed, even for the briefest of moments, he saw _them_. Saw _them_ touching. Saw _their_ mouths touch tantalizingly slow. Saw Donna's tongue part her red, wet lips to trace the seam of Hyde's lips. Saw _their_ tongues touch, glistening and moist.

The clock read one forty-six.

Without care his brain played out the whole damn thing. It filled in the blanks easily, using any and every porn scenario he had seen or imagined, in films and Playboy. Donna, naked and slick with sweat, writhing in pleasure. Pleasure that his supposed best friend was inflicting upon her. Eric could hear her. Her voice, naturally hoarse, was tense with her cries of lust that had gone on and on for, what Eric imagined, hours. Cracking now, small squeaks that tore from her throat.

Eric could hear the sound of flesh slapping flesh. He tossed onto his side, pulling his pillow around his head. The sound pulsed in his ears.

His brain was torturous in its assault.

Donna must have let Hyde into her bed. That was the only place that made the most sense for their little _tryst_. And Eric could feel it all. The mattress on his knees, on the palms of his hands, he could feel the weight of her body under his and the way the springs bounced with each thrust. _Simple kiss my ass,_ Eric thought. His stomach roiled with nausea. His hands shook with anger and jealousy. Every muscle in his body was tight with tension, like he could run for miles and miles and not even need to breathe.

How could she? How could _he_?

The clock read one fifty-five.

Eric would never do something like this to Hyde. They had been best friends since they were kids. The betrayal of his best friend cut deeper than the betrayal of his girlfriend.

This was somehow more personal. The hilt of the knife Hyde had stabbed between the wings of his shoulder blades was thrusting and striking against his vertebra. His damn lungs were collapsing.

Eric's eyes closed. He squeezed them shut, willing the image of Hyde's mouth curled about Donna's pert nipple out of his brain. Donna arching into Hyde's mouth. Hyde's teeth pulling her nipple taut. He could hear the sound of her skin, slippery with arousal rub against Hyde's. It was the sound Eric's had made every time he had made love to her. The way she threw her head back and bit her lip. The way she grew stiff, her fingers dipping to rub out her orgasm, and her legs shook as pleasure gripped her body.

Donna's cry of surprise, the desire that lit her eyes as she was yanked onto her knees, guided to lie upon her breasts, her arms braced against the wall. Donna's ass jiggling as Hyde took her from behind, one of his hands holding her down, pined to her back between her shoulder blades, the other firmly fisting her hair. Her knees spread wide over the bedspread… Hyde's right leg at ninety-degree angle, his foot keeping him steady as he humped Donna good.

Two o'clock.

Eric remembered every conversation they, he and Hyde, had had. Way back when. Way back when Donna and Eric hadn't been an item. When their names together in a sentence meant that Donna had beat Eric up, or Donna had given Eric another wedgie in gym, or when Eric had shared his masturbation secret, the one where he imagined it was Donna between every centerfold, and every breast exam in _Good Housekeeping._ When Eric pined for Donna. When talking about her sexually didn't mean the same thing to Eric, when they all had been able to do so without consequence. Before he had seen her naked and learned her body. When Kelso had wanted her.

But then, Eric remembered, anger flashing across his face, so had Hyde. There had been a time when Hyde had pined for Donna. Hadn't Hyde tried to come between them? Hadn't he tried to steal Donna away? Hadn't they already kissed? Hadn't Hyde shared, stoned out of his mind and drunk for the first time at fourteen, how he had his first wet dream to Donna's bare breasts, covering them in his semen?

Who was there to deny that this wasn't what had been meant this time? That this wasn't what was meant with this kiss? Who would deny it, Donna and Hyde? Like they would tell Eric the truth. They would tell him more lies. More lies about how Hyde was really in love with vapid, stupid Jackie.

Yeah, right.

Eric was sick of the games.

Everyone treated him like a dumbass; well he'd prove he was anything but a dumbass.

Two thirty. Eric rolled onto his back, palms pressed over his belly button.

All the people who had felt bad for Donna when Eric had left her at the altar were going to feel terrible they had ever wasted their time feeling sorry for such an insensitive bitch. Eric Albert Forman would show them, he'd show them all.

Revenge was a dish best served cold? He'd serve it on goddamn ice.

-x-

Steven was wide-awake, spooning Jackie to his chest. He held her tightly, afraid to let go. He drew comfort in the fact that she was deep asleep. Jackie would never be able to read into the strength of his hold, what it really meant. He pressed his nose to the nape of her neck, drew the tip of the appendage across her hairline. She shivered. He paused. Her hair, like silk, settled across his cheek. She smelt faintly of raspberries.

He didn't need to worry that she would know. Know that she was the only stable thing in this restless sea. This torment. She was the island, the oasis, the only thing that kept him swimming when all he wanted was to drown. To let go. Release the guilt that threatened to suffocate him.

Guilt was a shitty thing.

Steven had felt more guilt in the past few weeks than he had ever thought to feel in his whole life. Guilt over kissing Donna. Guilt over losing his best friend. His current guilt was dredging up his past guilt for a second showing. He thought about Sharon, the nurse, and shame curled over him, pressing over his chest like a weight. The minimal, fleeting enjoyment he had felt, inside of Sharon, releasing into the condom, whispering Jackie's name. Hell, he even felt renewed culpability over destroying Christine Delbuono's shoebox diorama in second grade.

Like a hot poker, prodding his pride, guilt laughed at him.

But Jackie was the oasis. She was the only thing that made sense anymore. Despite his best efforts, Jackie had read through his defenses, through his Zen. She knew him, like no one else had. Called him on his bullshit. She could see through every defense and show.

The sun had begun to rise, staining the white curtains covering Jackie's windows a soft gold. Steven hadn't slept the whole night. He rolled onto his back, staring briefly at the window, and then curled around Jackie again. He woke her with soft kisses, his left hand drifting down her hip and dipping into the waistband of her panties.

Jackie's hips pressed back into his, her lips parting as she gasped with the pleasure his fingers were administering to her body. Steven blocked out everything but her. She was the island, and man was he sick of drowning.

-x-

Eric cackled evilly as he sealed the envelope. He was the Joker, setting a trap for Batman. No, he was the Penguin, or maybe Mr. Freeze. Taking up his pencil, he wrote Jackie's name across the front. Tapping the pencils eraser on his desktop, Eric leaned back in his seat, his hands laced behind his head. Smirking to himself, he considered his plan.

Phase four: write damning letter to unsuspecting victim; complete.

Eric opened the top drawer of his desk, sliding the letter on top of his cigar box of birthday cards from Grandma and Grandpa Sigurdsson. Slamming the drawer closed, Eric stood, grabbing his packed bag from his bed. He palmed the Cruiser's keys, pausing in the doorway to consider his room in the early morning light.

The small twin mattress taunted him with memories of Donna's naked body. Linda Ronstadt smiled at him, as did Farrah, and Ali MacGraw from the walls. Donna had hated those posters, didn't understand why he needed pictures of other girls on the walls when he didn't even carry a picture of her in his wallet.

The golden sunlight had turned to a bright yellow when Eric closed the door, stalking past Laurie's room, and down the stairs.

Kitty scowled at him as Eric entered the kitchen, scrubbing Comet into the counter with more force than necessary. She accepted his kiss on her cheek however, her blue eyes heavy with unhappiness as she followed him to drive.

"What are you going to do? Where will you get food?" Kitty asked dejectedly, stopping on the small porch. She waved her marigold covered hands, calling "Wait!"

Darting back into the house, Kitty returned a moment later, sans gloves, with her pocketbook. She pulled a few bills from her wallet, folding them into Eric's fingers.

"Mom, I don't need-"

Kitty waved her arms, loose change soaring across the concrete and landing with metallic patters on the ground. "Just take it! It'll help me feel better, knowing you have a little cushion."

Eric kissed her cheek again, smiling warmly at his mother. The only person he'd miss on his little adventure. Except for maybe Fez and Kelso. They hadn't torn out his heart, or stabbed him in the back. Hell, maybe he'd even miss Jackie. Stuffing his bag onto the backseat, Eric sank behind the wheel, cranking the engine. Kitty drummed her fingernails lightly on the window.

Rolling down the window, Eric leaned out the opening, curling his arm over the door. Kitty gripped his forearm briefly. She massaged her lips together, looking close to tears. "Call me every night!"

"I will." Eric promised, shifting into reverse.

"Call me every night at nine!" Kitty said following the car as it slowly backed down the drive.

"Ok, mom." Eric said.

"Oh, and Eric?" Kitty called, her eyes bright with tears.

"What?" Eric asked, stopping before the street.

Kitty wiped her eyes, curling her hands over her chest. Her fingers clutched her wallet. "Maybe don't tell your father about the money?"

-x-

Steven sang along under his breath to the radio. He slung his wrist atop the Camino's steering wheel, tapping the tops of his nails on the dash to the beat. Music had always been his escape. All his life he had used music to dilute his anger or pain, to push aside the shit he didn't want to think about.

Jackie's raspberry shampoo filled the cab, the scent reminding him of their shower after their romp between the sheets. Breathing deeply, Steven let his eyes languidly open and close, bogus tranquility settling over him. He'd take what he could get.

Braking at the light at Franklin, Steven caught sight of the Cruiser stopped across the intersection from him. Time felt like it stopped. Steven leaned forward over the steering wheel. Eric was just visible through the windshield, and Steven found himself staring unblinking at his friend. He had stopped singing, had stopped being aware of any sound at all.

Unsure why, Steven raised his fingers in greeting nodding his head. He wasn't sure what he had hoped would happen. That Eric would wave back? Mime he had forgiven Steven? Motion for Steven to follow to The Hub so they could make up over hot dogs and pops? Could Eric even make out Steven's form?

The lights turned green. Neither moved for a moment. And then Eric pressed the accelerator, easing through the intersection past Steven, never looking his direction. The small gremlin behind Steven honked its horn, startling him. Steven sighed, "Yeah, yeah," turning into the first parking lot on his right.

Our Lady of Perpetual Sorrow Catholic Church. Steven parked in front of the white building, throwing the gear into park.

The sun had disappeared behind cloud, mirroring the pall that had come over Steven's mind and body. The white slats seemed gray, and Steven pulled the keys from the ignition, stepping out into the chill. He pulled his jacket tighter about his body. Ice and snow crunched under Steven's boots. Pausing before the door, Steven looked back over his shoulder, shifting his weight uncomfortably before entering the building.

A hush immediately fell over him. Like cotton had been stuffed in his ears. Steven pushed the door closed behind him softly, staring around him. A rosy glow burned from the stained glass windows. The dark wooden pews opened before him, leading to a figure of Christ on the cross, his mouth open in pain and penitence.

Steven slipped into a pew in the back, palming his keys. _The fuck was he doing here?_

He had never believed in God, or religion, and didn't think that a man dressed in robes would ever be able to absolve him of his sins. That was between Steven and Steven alone.

But the serenity that fell over him was undeniable.

Steven stared up at the altar, his mind blank. Time seemed to stretch without limit. He didn't think about Donna or that fateful kiss. He didn't think about Jackie and the uncertain future. He didn't think about how he had ruined his friendship. He didn't even think about the record store, or his plans to turn into something even better.

For the first time in so long he didn't think of anything.

Dipping further into his Zen than he ever had before, Steven stared around at his surroundings, feeling very much like an alien on foreign soil. The cushion under his ass was soft, the wooden back of the pew hard on his shoulder blades. An organ took up the whole right of the altar wall. The pulpit was raised over the congregation, and Steven wondered if there was still communion wine stashed under the altar.

"Son?"

Startled, Steven spun around in the pew, rising to his feet. His fists raised chest level. "Fuck!"

"Oh, no, I'm sorry, son!" A man dressed in slacks and a sweater vest said, his palms up between them. "I didn't mean to startle you."

"No problem, man." Steven didn't move. He felt edgy, caged. Pointing to the doors, Steven swallowed thickly. "The door was open. I didn't break in."

"Of course. We leave the doors open for whoever may need time with Christ."

Steven scowled.

The man gestured to the empty seat beside Steven. "May I?"

"Huh?" Steven said, looking down. His hands relaxed. "Oh, yeah, I guess."

Steven moved further down the pew. They both sat, about three feet of distance separating them. For a minute they were silent. Tension and awkwardness had begun to settle on Steven's shoulders and he again wondered what the fuck he was doing here. He had just decided to leave when the man spoke, his soft voice warm and friendly.

"I'm Father Peter." Silence once more. "I haven't seen you in our parish before."

"Oh." Steven scrunched up his face, looking away. "I can go, y'know, if it's a problem?"

Father Peter smiled warmly at Steven, shrugging his shoulders. "You don't have to feel unwelcome in the house of the Lord, son, this is what we're here for."

Steven rolled his eyes, thankful that Father Peter couldn't see. "Right."

"Do you feel welcome?"

It was Steven's turn to shrug. "Sure."

Father Peter nodded. His hands rubbed together, resting amid his knees. "Was there something you needed to speak about?"

Steven rolled his eyes again, this time catching Father Peter's attention. The older man laughed heartily, slapping a palm on his thigh. Once he had calmed, he slung an arm across the back of the pew, turning his body to face Steven's. "Oh, I haven't laughed like that in a while. I suppose I asked a rather stupid question. You wouldn't be here, seeking comfort unless you needed to speak."

The windows lightened momentarily as the sun peaked from behind its cloud cover.

Father Peter clasped his hands, his eyes fixed down on the plush burgundy seat cushion. "Sometimes it's easier to speak to a stranger than it is to a friend."

Scoffing, Steven crossed his arms over his chest. "Tell that to my girlfriend. She could have a full blown conversation with a brick wall, or a damn rock. She's never met a stranger."

"Maybe," Father Peter said, his mouth pursing and bushy eyebrows rising. "Doesn't mean she's really sharing her thoughts and feelings though."

"What, she just talks to hear her own voice?" Steven asked sarcastically. He laughed derisively. "Sure you don't know her? We may be talking about the same person."

"How old are you, son?"

"Nineteen." Steven said, noting the segue. "And the name's Hyde."

"Nice to meet you, Hyde." Father Peter extended a hand. Steven considered the gesture before shaking quickly. He didn't return the sentiment. Father Peter didn't seem offended, continuing on, "How long have you and your girlfriend been together?"

"This time?" Hyde asked sardonically, instantly regretting the breach of information. He shifted his weight, arms tightening across his chest. "We've been together over a year."

"Off and on?"

"Yeah."

"Mm."

"I love her, and she loves me." Steven defended, ashamed that his mouth and brain kept spewing out this sentimental crap. He chewed his cheek till the copper taste of blood filled his mouth.

"I'm sure no one is doubting your love for one another, Hyde," Father Peter said neutrally. "Is that's what's on your mind? Jackie?"

Steven chewed on his cheek, his teeth tearing pieces of gingiva away, his eyes returning to Jesus atoning on the cross.

"I did a shitty thing. To my best friend." Steven heard himself saying. "I find I can't help but keep accumulating guilt."

"May I ask, what happened? With your friend?"

Father Peter had an open face, one without judgment. Steven, clung to it, this strangers blankness, and found himself pouring out all the hurt that had plagued him. And once he started he couldn't stop. He talked about his parents, and being abandoned in the mall. He spoke of Eric and how the Forman's had taken him in. The guilt and shame that had riddled him until he had been able to find a job and contribute to the house, never ok with just riding along on others coattails. He spoke of meeting his black father for the first time, how he felt that in his acceptance of WB he had betrayed Red.

"I kissed Donna. That's Eric's chick. Or she was."

Nodding, Father Peter watched Steven. He waited patiently as Steven gathered his thoughts.

"I didn't want to kiss her, not really."

"Than why did you?" Father Peter asked.

Normally such a question would piss Steven off. But here, in this place, he felt very much unlike himself. Father Peter was accusatory. He wasn't judgmental. He simply was asking, wanting to know what Steven meant.

"She was crying. I hate it when chicks cry. Reminds me of Edna. That's my mom. And she's a good friend. Donna, not Edna." Steven said softly, staring at the golden filigree on the raised dais. "Or she was. The more time passes, the more I realize how cruel it was of her, to ask that of me. She brought me into the middle of all of this, made me liable for the demise of her relationship."

"Maybe she knew you wouldn't deny her. People will do many foolish things when desperation sets in."

"Yeah." Steven agreed. Steven pulled a hand down his face. "And then there's Jackie." Kicking out, Steven began to pull down the kneeler with the toe of his boot. He let it drop, the wood feet echoing through the church. "Jackie doesn't know about the kiss. And we were broken up when it happened. I don't think it's important for her to know."

"If I may, I think that this would be the wrong thing to keep from someone you love."

"Why's that?"

"Eventually, she will find out, someway or another. Women always find out. And if, by chance, she doesn't than this guilt that you feel will just keeping accruing and accruing." Father Peter gestured to the figure of Christ. "Jesus has already forgiven you for your sins. He died on the cross for you. Now cast your fears upon him, and trust that he will guide you through this rough patch. And if it's meant to be between you and Jackie, than it will be."

Steven laughed mockingly. "Just 'let go and let god'?"

"Well," Father Peter spread his hands in benediction, "yes, precisely."

"It would just hurt her unnecessarily." Steven said, pushing the kneeler back up into place with a bang. "She would feel like I'd betrayed her, _again_ , and I can't do that to her. I can't put her through that pain again."

Father Peter didn't press the issue. He silently faced the pew before him, his hands clasping once more between his knees. Steven glanced at Father Peter to find the man's eyes closed, his face slack. Surprised, Steven rubbed his sweating palms down the thighs of his jeans, inching away. Never had he felt so uncomfortable. So exposed.

As quiet as a mouse, Steven stood from the pew, walking on his toes out of the pew into the far aisle towards the door. Father Peter never moved, nor made any move that he knew Steven had abandoned him.

The Camino roared to life and Steven tamped down the guilt that mingled new amongst his existing shame.

"I need a fucking beer." Steven muttered, peeling out of the parking lot.

-x-

Jackie swept back her hair. She propped her hands on her hips and studied the glittered sign of her name hanging over the stage. _Jackie!_ gleamed down at her in pinks and purples. The hot stage lamps were bright in her eyes, blinding her. Disco balls spaced evenly over the stage caught the light, throwing beams of refraction across the desk. With Jackie sitting behind it, it'd be like she herself were glittering.

She could hear her name chanted back to her by her adoring fans, the hiss of their voices. Slowly she spun in a circle around Point Place's Public Access station and smiled to herself. This was where she was meant to be. On stage. Before a television camera.

Famous.

"Perfect." Jackie said, clapping her hands together.

"Ok, people, we have t-minus three minutes until we are on the air!" Fez said, waving a clipboard. He adjusted his headset. "Now, where is the star? Jacqueline? Jacqueline!"

"Here, here!" Jackie cried, fluffing her hair with her fingers. Jackie swiped a powder puff over her t-zone, unscrewing a tube of lipstick.

"Ok, so remember, first you're talking about current events," Donna said, meeting Jackie at the large wooden desk on stage, "though what current events you know is still a mystery to me."

Jackie waved her hand. "I know the important stuff, Donna. Now look, I want to have a break between what's hot in spring trends and then bringing Michael on for Slut Or Not. So I was thinking that you could come up on stage and give a speech on like, how to change your oil or something equally boring. Now, people won't like it as much, but it'll be the sign that the show is going through a set change before it comes back to me."

Donna's eyes narrowed. "And a minute to go."

"Places people!" Fez said.

Jackie settled behind the desk, fixing a megawatt smile on her lips. The stage lights blinded her, and she found herself staring at the red ON AIR light atop the camera. She glided through her opening segment. She nailed the highlights of current events, emphasizing the complete lack of school spirit shown by Fort Anderson Snapping Turtles. Covering the highlights of Martin Waters killer party this past weekend, Jackie lectured on the perils of young girls attending such events alone. _"A nerd, or someone from the AV Club will suffice ladies, even if you ditch them once you're there."_ When Michael took the stage, it was like Sonny and Cher. They fed off of one another in perfect sync, ending the show on a high note that left Jackie feeling breathless.

Warmth settled in her chest. She felt ten feet tall, thin and gorgeous. Invincible. Michael's arm around her waist bolstered her, and Jackie beamed hard enough to make Christine St. George jealous her plastic surgeon had given her face just a smidge too much of a lift.

Donna called a wrap, and Jackie released Michael's waist. She tucked her hair behind her ears and stepped off the stage, cheeks aching.

"A successful show people, a successful show, but next time!" Fez slapped his clipboard onto his thigh. "Next time, for the love of god!" His pointer finger rose into the air. "Do not break character! There is no laughing when it comes to floral!"

Jackie chuckled, shaking her head, an eyebrow arching. Gathering her jacket and purse, Jackie slung the items across her arm, noticing Steven loitering by the exit. She smiled at him, nearly jogging across the soundstage towards him.

"Hey, Jackie." Steven smirked at her. His chin rose towards the stage. "Good show."

"Yeah, yeah it was a really good show." Jackie said, slinging her purse over her shoulder. She felt breathless. "Did you watch the whole thing?"

"I think so, yeah." Steven said, shrugging. "I got here right about the time you started talking about Olivia Newton-John's upcoming concert, and concert appropriate outfits. Floral, I think."

"You didn't miss much," Jackie said dismissively.

"Oh," Fez sing-songed. "Look who we have here. Hyde _and_ Jackie."

"You two look pretty cozy, off in the corner by yourselves." Donna said, her tone mocking and slightly jealous.

"Oh, yeah, well." Steven said, staring at Jackie. "I was just gonna see if Jackie maybe wanted to get a bite to eat. Celebrate a good show."

"Sitting in a tree, they're in love like two monkeys." Fez finished under his breath. He elbowed Steven, smirking. "Are you trying to make up for breaking her heart?"

"Shut it, Fez." Steven said.

Donna crossed her arms. "Maybe we're all hungry. It wasn't like Jackie was the only one who did some work."

Steven shifted. Zen. "Cool, whatever, you can all come."

Jackie pouted, biting back the anger that leapt up her chest. "Or Steven and I could go."

"What's going on here?" Donna asked, sliding her weight to her left leg. She scoffed. "Are you two back together or something? Jackie? Why wouldn't you tell me something like this?"

"Why, cause you tell me all of _your_ secrets?" Jackie retorted.

"For the last time, I don't have a secret from you."

"Whatever." _Liar,_ Jackie thought.

"Come on," Steven interrupted. "Let's all just go. Meet you at The Hub?"

He left before any of them could respond, disappearing through the soundstage door and out into the cold Wisconsin air. Jackie rounded on Donna. "What the hell is up with you, Pinciotti?"

"Me?" Donna asked, pulling her coat on. "You're the one who's suddenly back into Hyde. I thought you were mad at him? I thought you had royally fucked up any chances of you two getting back together? What'd you do? Charm him with your wit?"

"You're not my keeper, Donna, I can do things without you're knowing." Jackie said, following the tall blond out into the parking lot. Her pride was stinging with Donna's harsh words.

They were both distracted by the Camino, idling loudly. Jackie wished to run across the icy lot towards it. The muffler rumbled somewhere deep in Jackie's chest as Steven eased out onto the road. She wished she were safe in the warm cab with him. "Besides, like I said, it's not like you're so open and forthcoming."

"What do I have to hide?" Donna tossed back. She unlocked the driver's side of her little red car, falling behind the wheel. Jackie tapped the passenger's glass impatiently until Donna leaned across the car to pull the lock.

Sliding into her seat, Jackie slammed her door closed. "Who did you cheat on Eric with?"

Donna's round eyes bore into Jackie. "How do you know I cheated on Eric?"

"Oh, come on, like I'm not friends with the same people you are?" Jackie said. Fez had exited the building and was jogging across the icy lot towards them. "Besides, you practically admitted to as much when we went ice fishing."

"Brrrrr!" Fez said, sliding into the backseat. He rubbed his fingers together, blowing warm air into his palms. "I'm starved, let's boogie!"

"It's none of your business, Jackie," Donna bit out, starting the car. She pulled out her spot, the tires fishtailing. Jackie and Fez braced themselves against their respective doors. "Y'know. I'm suddenly not hungry. I'll drop you two at The Hub."

-x-

"What happened to Donna?" Steven asked as Jackie and Fez entered The Hub. He was leaning against the counter, talking to Frank, but broke off midsentence at their entrance. "She decide to go cry about Forman some more?"

"I don't know what is up with Donna," Fez said. "She has been acting like a major bitch, though."

"She has a secret," Jackie announced, "I know she does, I just can't figure out what it is."

"Oh, a secret, I love secrets." Fez grinned. "Do you think it's about Eric?"

"You want a hot dog?" Steven interrupted, looking at Jackie.

"Yes." Jackie answered. She turned to Fez. "I think it's about who she cheated on Eric with. You really don't know, Fez?"

"Sadly, no." Fez pursed his lips. "Eric would not say."

"Probably because it's none of our business." Steven said.

"You aren't the least bit curious, Steven?" Jackie asked.

Steven turned away from the counter, flipping his wallet closed. "Nope." He handed Jackie a pop, jerking his chin towards an empty table.

Fez lingered behind to order, joining them a minute later at the small table, sticky with soda. "I think it's someone we know."

" _Me too_." Jackie said through clenched teeth.

Steven sucked on his tongue, his eyes fixed on the far wall.

"I'm still not convinced Donna and Michael didn't mess around with one another when they were together in California." Jackie admitted, falling back in her seat. She brought her pop to her mouth, chewing on the straw.

Frank called their order, and Steven left the table, returning a second later. He cleared his throat, his eyebrows drawn together as he worked through the thoughts in his head. "You think Donna and Kelso fooled around in California?"

"Well, yeah." Jackie said, as if it were obvious. "I mean, Michael can be very persuasive, and Donna was all alone, and it was either do it with Michael, or do it with some random guy she met on the beach."

"Mmm." Fez hummed, taking a bite out of his hot dog.

"You said the other night that Donna would want to have random sex with hot Italian men she met on the beach." Steven said a chip poised at his lips.

Jackie rolled her eyes. "Yes, I know, but I just mean, why would you do it with a random guy when you could do it with someone you know. You know?"

Fez ate in silence, his eyes pinging from Jackie to Steven and back to Jackie. He sipped from his pop, wiping his greasy fingers distractedly on a napkin.

"No." Steven said.

Jackie grabbed a napkin, wiping her fingers. "Ok, so, if you had the choice, say of doing it with me, or doing it with a stranger, who would you pick?"

Steven shifted uncomfortably, his eyes briefly lighting on Fez. "I don't think that applies to you and me."

"Oh, my god, ok." Jackie threw the napkin onto the table. She gestured toward Fez. "Ok, perfect example. If I were in a foreign place, and all alone, and upset that I'd just lost someone that I love, than, maybe, potentially, I would consider having sex with Fez, y'know, as a comfort thing. It makes perfect sense to me that Donna chose Michael, if she did. They've been friends for forever, they know one another, and it would be like a piece of home, or something, to forget about the thing that was lost."

"Wait, wait, wait," Steven leaned forward. "What you're saying is, if you were somewhere else, Kenosha or something, and feeling _lonely_ , you would try to feel better by doin' it with Fez?"

"Oh la, la!" Fez smirked.

"No!" Jackie yelped, garnering the attention of the other Hub patrons. "I was just saying, I can understand where Donna was coming from if that's what happened. Michael can be _really_ persuasive."

"Yeah. You've said." Steven said, ripping a bite from his hot dog.

"I mean Michael is attractive. And Donna is pretty, for a lumberjack." Jackie continued.

"They would make ugly babies." Fez said. He tapped his fingers on the table. "But there are more important things for us to discuss at the moment."

"Like who Donna cheated on Eric with?" Jackie asked.

"No." Fez said, scooting his chair across the linoleum, the legs squealing on the hard tile. "About you two."

Steven scowled. "What about us?"

"How long have you two been back together?" Fez asked.

Jackie, for once, was at a loss for words. She paused, mid-chew.

Steven blew air harshly through his nostrils. "What makes you think we're back together?"

"You think I do not watch?" Fez asked, smiling at Steven. "I am the most observant one in the whole gang!" Fez pointed to his eyeball, leaning back in his seat. "I see all."

Jackie and Steven remained Zen.

"And what I have seen of you two, is a lot less animosity, and a lot more nookie." Fez leered.

They were both Zen Masters.

"Little touches, here and there, things that the others would never notice. Swollen, puffy lips, when only the two of you have been together in a room." Fez sighed. "The fact that Hyde only wanted to take Jackie out to eat after the taping."

"That doesn't mean anything, Fez." Jackie began to argue. "Besides, I don't touch Steven. Not anymore than I touch you or Eric."

Fez wagged his finger from side to side. "Uh uh! Fez sees. Fez knows. Come now. Talk to Fez. Tell Fez."

"Fez needs to quit referring to himself in the third person." Steven warned.

Jackie crossed her knees, chewing on her lower lip. She looked to Steven, her eyes beseeching him. She would have hoped for more time, before the others found out, but then again… She missed being able to sit on Steven's lap, or at his side, touch him openly and play. Steven looked back, his eyes hidden behind his sunglasses. His mouth was tense, and Jackie knew, she knew he was thinking the same thing she was. Was it worth it? To tell now?

 _Screw it,_ Jackie thought. "Yeah, Fez."

"Yeah?" Fez leaned forward, eyes alight. "Yeah, what?"

"We're together." Steven confirmed.

Steven and Jackie jumped in their seats at the sound of Fez's hand pounding down onto the table. The foreigner rose to his feet. "Aha! I knew it! I am a genius!"

"Yeah, a real Tesla, calm down." Steven grumbled.

"I knew you two would not be separated for long." Fez said, taking his seat once more. "I knew it! You two are meant to be together."

"We really are, huh?" Jackie said, smiling at Steven. She leaned her chin onto her palm, reaching across the table with her free hand.

"So? Give me all the juicy details! When did you make up? How was the make up sex?" Fez gushed.

Jackie squeezed Steven's fingers. "I guess it was about a week ago? And it was perfectly, amazing. As always. Steven is an excellent lover."

"Jackie." Steven moaned, uncomfortable. He pulled his hand out of hers, pulling at the jeans covering his legs.

"He's shy." Jackie whispered loudly to Fez. She giggled at Steven's glare. "Alright, alright. Fez, it's none of your business."

"Party pooper." Fez pouted.

"Let's get out of here." Steven said.

"You two go ahead, I'm gonna order something for Donna." Fez waved them off. "I'm going to try to get who she cheated with out of her."

Steven sighed, his eyes rolling.

It was bliss, Jackie decided, as they left The Hub. She took Steven's hand, wrapping his arm about her shoulders. They walked in tune out to the Camino, the fingers of her left hand dipping into the back pocket of his jeans. The kiss Steven placed on her forehead was perfection. The weight of his arm was grounding. The knock of his hip against hers was almost as hypnotic to her as the echo of the heels of their boots, pounding off the pavement in seamless synchronization.

"How long till Fez tells everyone we're back together?" Steven asked. He opened the driver's door, his hand on the small of Jackie's back.

"Oh, I give it about an hour." Jackie guessed, sliding into her seat.

The Camino rumbled to life. Steven turned to Jackie, his arm returning to her shoulders. And then it happened; one of those rare, true smiles graced Steven's mouth. One that made his eyes crinkle at the corners, and stretched his lips over his teeth. One that made Jackie's heart stutter, missing a beat, with its intensity and its pureness. Jackie returned the grin, her heart pounding. She reached toward him, pulling him to her to reward him with a searing kiss that left them both breathless.

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 **A/N: Hey all. Sorry this has taken so long. I'm not exactly sure as to why, but this chapter eluded me for far too long. I wrote three versions. Well, I started two other versions, hated them, and then deleted them and wrote this version. It's a bit of a filler chapter, but it's establishing things for the rest of the story. I hope y'all enjoy! Please read and review!**


	20. Chapter 20

**The Seeker**

Jackie strut through the mall, her chin high. She had a brand new dress on, her hair had curled perfectly around her face, her long and toned legs felt powerful as they carried her onward, and the icing on the cake: she and Steven had just been named Betsy's Godparents.

 _Ha! Take that Donna and Eric!_ Jackie cheered.

Things couldn't be going more perfect in her life than they were at this exact moment. Finally! The validation she needed. The validation of her peers. The validation of her friends. It was all there, just handed to her on the silver platter she knew she deserved. If only she could get the validation of her mother, but what the hell, she'd survive. That's what she'd been doing after all since her father went to prison, surviving.

Jackie paused mid-step, backtracking to face a store she had never been in before. _Me and Mommy, Designer Clothing and Accessories._

"Perfect." Jackie muttered, nearly running into the store.

The only thing more perfect than being named Betsy's Godmother? The matching outfits she and Jackie would be wearing when Betsy was baptized. Oh! And the little matching tennis skirts! And the blue flowered wrap dresses? Jackie couldn't think of any better way to rub it in Donna's pert nose than this. Donna's pert, snooty, secret-keeping nose.

Jackie was in heaven. So many adorable and cute shoes, made for tiny little feet. White and pink socks with delicate lace cuffs. Dresses made for mommy _and_ for baby. She couldn't wait to come back here when she was pregnant. Jackie would be the best dressed mother on the whole damn planet, the most stylish, and the most attractive. She'd be better than Pam, distant and drunk. Jackie would be attentive, and nurturing. Oh, to be pregnant with Steven's-

Jackie shook her head violently side to side, dispelling the image that was forming in her mind's eye. She couldn't afford to think like that. Not right now. Not when everything was going so perfect. Jackie paid quickly for her items, exiting the store nearly as swiftly as she had entered it.

Winter had finally given way to spring. The trees were budding. The flowers were beginning to bloom. Jackie took a deep, steadying breath as she left the mall, headed across the lot towards the Camino. She dug the keys from her purse, unlocked the driver's door, and tossed her bag of goodies into the cab onto the passengers seat. The Camino rumbled as she started it, and Jackie slid Steven's sunglasses off the dash and onto her nose. She rolled down the windows, and turned up the radio.

The aviators were slightly too large for her face, but Jackie decided, staring at her reflection in the rearview mirror, she had a face made to wear anything. Reversing out of her spot, Jackie drove through Point Place like the public access television star she was fast becoming. She attracted the attention of men at stoplights, four of whom stopped to take a double take.

Cool, fresh air, filled the Camino's cab. The Eagles were near to bursting her eardrums. Jackie smiled, propping her arm on the open window ledge, her fingers pushing back her hair.

Life was perfect.

She had Steven. She was on a fast track to becoming to TV personality. Not only had she been accepted for journalism to Marquette, Northwestern, and Loyola, but now that Pam had her man toy, she had money for school. And as a backup, she had a folder full of scholarship letters and awards. She wasn't going to be like Donna. She was going to go places. Not just her. Steven was going places too. They would go there together.

At least, Jackie hoped they were going places together. Steven didn't know she had applied to college, or even that she was interested. She hadn't wanted to scare him with talk of the future when their present was so clouded in uncertainty.

Jackie pulled up to the curb at the Forman's. She rolled up the Camino's windows and doubled checked her parking job, sparing her from a long lecture from Steven on the proper way to treat his baby.

"Oh!" Jackie pressed a hand to her heart as she entered the Forman's kitchen. "I have had just such a long day. Shopping for two is just so rewarding."

Donna rolled her eyes, bringing her pop to her lips, rolling the cool glass across her lower lip. Kitty peered into the top of the shopping bag, "Oh! What'd ya get?"

"Only the cutest little outfits!" Jackie preened, pulling out a baby-sized dress. She held it up to her chest, her lower lip pouting in a _Seriously? How precious!_ look Mrs. Forman readily returned.

"It's just so tiring being a godmother." Jackie said. She presented another outfit to Mrs. Forman, producing a set of matching sandals.

"How adorable!" Kitty exclaimed, taking hold of the sandals.

"You know, Jackie," Donna started, easing onto a barstool. "There's a lot more to being a godmother than just _shopping_."

"Oh, yeah? Like what?" Jackie retorted, swinging a small hanger back and forth on her pointer finger.

Donna chewed her tongue, scowling.

"That's what I thought," Jackie said, smirking. She took the sandals back from Mrs. Forman, and pranced from the kitchen towards the basement. Let Donna sulk. It wasn't Jackie's problem. Besides, Donna's bad attitude had run its course with the rest of the gang, none of them willing to put up with her random mood swings and temper tantrums anymore.

Jackie skipped down the basement steps, her dark eyes scanning for her boyfriend, and not finding him. Undeterred, Jackie continued on to Steven's bedroom, knocking once before pushing the door open.

Steven sat on the ancient rag rug before his bed, a box open before him on the carpet. He looked up at her entrance, neither smiling nor scowling at her as she entered.

"Hey." Steven said. A small porcelain smoking tray sat to his left and a smoldering joint sat nestled atop it.

"Hey." Jackie said, dropping her shopping bag on the green armchair. She bent at the waist, kissing his mouth briefly, her open eyes set on the box before him. Pulling away, she asked, "What's this?"

"Oh." Steven said, looking back at the box. "It's all the stuff you gave me."

"You keep it in a box?" Jackie asked.

"I didn't, no." Steven said pulling out the decapitated head of a teddy bear Jackie had given him their first Valentines together. Next followed the body, its paws stitched to a plush red heart that begged _Be Mine?_ "Only did this after you broke up with me after the LOPPS party."

Jackie reached into the box. ABBA had been broken in two. "Did anything survive? Why keep it if it's all broken?"

"I didn't break everything." Steven said, putting the bear's body and head aside. He pulled out a couple other records, as if for proof. "I was mad, Jackie. And hurt. I thought things were ok, and then you dumped me, and I was just consumed with this hatred. Fez kept it for me." Steven scoffed under his breath. "He just gave it back to me, he said he knew we would get back together and that I would want this back."

Jackie swept a hand over the back of Steven's head, smoothing a few wayward curls. Marijuana always made him more sentimental, more willing to spill his true feelings. A part of Jackie wished he were the same sober. Sweet, kind, and loving, without the tough-guy exterior.

"Was he right?" Jackie asked, reaching into the box and pulling out a handful of folded notes she had written to him.

"I missed everything as soon as it was gone." Steven said. He sniffed, rubbing at his nose. "What have you been up to? You treat my baby right?"

"Ugh, yes," Jackie groaned, falling back onto Steven's cot. "Your precious car is fine."

A warm hand wrapped around her bare calf. "Yeah? And how's my other baby?"

Jackie's eyebrows rose on her forehead, unimpressed. "Whatever."

She felt Steven shift his weight, just out of her eyesight. His hand returned to her calf, massaging the thick muscle in his fingers. The pressure of his fingers rose up her calf, skimming the back of her knee. Jackie felt her body relax, her knees spreading slightly.

A kiss, soft and tender, to the inside of her knee. Another to the knee opposite. Steven's hands rose up her body, thumbs hooking onto her dress to draw it up her thighs. Cool air prickled her skin into gooseflesh.

Jackie let her eyes drift closed, her lips parted.

Steven nipped at the flesh of her thighs, his tongue caressing each bite. Jackie felt a rush of wetness fill the crotch of her panties. She drew her lip into her mouth, sucking roughly.

Lifting her hips, Jackie let Steven slide her panties off her body and down her legs, shivering at the air that touched her slick lips. Steven kissed the inside of her thigh, close enough for his breath to warm her center.

"Better, now?" Steven whispered, pulling away from her body.

Jackie's eyes remained closed. She worked to keep her breathing steady and her voice aloof. "That's cool."

Steven's mouth descended once more and Jackie gasped at the shocking warmth that covered her clit. Steven's tongue danced over her nerve endings, alternating pressure, hard and soft, soft then hard, adding his first two fingers to tease Jackie's opening. Jackie whimpered at the combined sensations. Steven's tongue pressed over her, hard and fast, and Jackie threw her head back, pressing into the thin mattress, as the building orgasm washed over her body in waves.

Jackie was panting, her eyes finally opening. She brought her feet up onto the bed, her knees bent. Her heart was pounding under her skin. Steven didn't waste time. He stood, pulling his shirt from his body and kicking out of his jeans. Steven kneeled onto the bed, grabbing Jackie's ankles. He pushed them up, over her shoulders. Taking both ankles in one hand, Steven settled back onto his heels, his thighs cupping her ass.

Cool air swept over her slick lips. Steven teased her with the tip of his finger, his eyes watching her face and dick, hard with want, twitching.

"Better, now?" Steven asked, his voice rough.

Jackie made eye contact, her lower lip swollen from biting it between her teeth. Her core ached. Her legs were pined over her body, knees pressing into her breasts. Tantalizingly slow, Jackie ran the tip of her tongue across her lower lip. She shifted her knees, exposing a breast. Her fingers rose to pinch her own nipple, just hard enough to send a wave of pleasurable pain straight to her clit. She rubbed her thumb over her nipple, watching Steven watch her.

"Whatever." Jackie whispered.

Steven's eyes met hers, sharp as blades. He rose onto his knees, arms locked straight, hands tight over her ankles. The tip of his cock teased her opening.

"Better now?" Steven asked.

Jackie was panting harder, sweat slicking her skin. Her breath left her mouth in warm bursts. She gripped his hips, attempting to pull him closer.

"Answer me, Jackie." Steven commanded. "Is this better?"

"Please." Jackie replied, desire curling and snaking through her. Her fingertips dug into his skin. "Please, Steven."

"Tell me it's better." Steven said, rubbing his erection between her slick folds.

"Yes."

"Yes, what?"

Jackie's fingernails scratched down Steven's back. She was both annoyed and turned on. She wanted him to fill her, wanted to feel him inside of her taking her over that plateau of pleasure once more. She wanted him _now_.

"Yes, Steven. It's better." Jackie whispered, crying out in surprise when Steven drove into her. He held himself over her, fingers tightening on her ankles. He drove into her hard, the cot rocking, knocking into the small table at the head of his bed.

Steven's rhythm never faltered, and Jackie bucked her hips increasing the angle so Steven's cock rubbed perfectly against her g-spot. He stared down at her as a second orgasm pulsed over her, releasing her ankles. He didn't pause, continuing on as Jackie rode out her pleasure, her legs wrapping about his hips, her ankles pushing into his ass, pulling him closer.

"God, it's better, baby," Jackie moaned, her hands lacing through her hair.

"Fuck." Steven mumbled, his eyes raking her body. He palmed a breast, his hips rolling and pounding into her. His fingers tightened over her breast, and his eyebrows furrowed.

"Steven." Jackie moaned, pulling him down for a kiss. Their lips met in a arduous kiss, Steven's mouth ardent against hers, as if he had been waiting years to kiss her. He shuddered as he came, drawing her lip between his teeth. Jackie cried out, the taste of copper filling her mouth, and Steven released her, his hips slowing as he filled her.

"Sorry," Steven whispered, sweeping her hair up and away from her neck. He kissed her throat, her cheeks and her mouth, softly this time. "Got caught up in it."

"It's alright." Jackie whispered, holding him close. Their slick skin stuck together. The air, once chilled, now felt humid with their lovemaking. Marijuana mixed with something primal and ancient.

Steven rubbed the tip of his nose back and forth across Jackie's, his breath warm on her mouth. He kissed her lower lip tenderly.

"Better?"

"Much."

-x-

"Do you think you two could, I don't know, have incredibly loud sex sometime other than the middle of the damn day?"

Jackie smoothed her dress over her hips, her hair drawn up into a ponytail. She followed Steven from his bedroom into the basement, satiated and exultant. Her fingers clutched his as he led her out into the room.

"Don't be jealous, Donna, it doesn't become you." Jackie replied. Steven sunk onto the vinyl chair, patting his thigh. Jackie sank into his lap, her arm about his shoulder.

"I'm not jealous." Donna muttered, crossing her arms.

Fez smirked at them. "I have missed the sounds of you two doing it."

"Shut it, Fez." Steven said, wrapping an arm about Jackie's waist.

Kelso twirled a lock of hair around his finger, silent for once. He sank lower in the lawn chair, sighing as his attention settled back onto the television.

"Nothing?" Steven asked Kelso. "No snarky remark?"

"Nah." Kelso said, his voice tinged with sadness. "I got things on my mind."

"What's up?" Jackie asked. "You and Brooke get in an argument?"

"Not really." Kelso said. He stared at the television.

"What happened then?" Donna asked, her tone void of its derision that had laced her words since her breakup with Eric.

"Brooke is moving to Chicago permanently." Kelso said. "She was only going to be there till she had Betsy, y'know, so her mom could be there for her if she needed anything while I was at the police academy."

"But…?" Jackie prompted once Michael fell silent.

Michael's head fell back and his eyes rolled hard. "Her mother has convinced her that staying in Chicago would be better for Betsy. How can being so far away from her father be the best thing for her? I'll only see my daughter every couple of weekends."

"Why don't you move to Chicago?" Jackie suggested. Fez shot her a look of fear at the thought of Kelso so far away.

"Yeah, it's not so far from here." Donna said. "A girl needs her father."

"Yeah." Kelso said noncommittally.

"Don't worry, man, it'll work out." Steven said, his fingers rubbing the fabric of Jackie's skirt. "We still got the baptism in a couple days, just make the decision then."

"Yeah." Kelso repeated.

Donna's mood soured again at mention of the baptism. She pursed her mouth, glaring at Jackie and Steven. Her fingers whitened as they tightened over her biceps.

"Do you think Eric will be back by then?" Fez asked the room. "He's been gone for a week. I hope he has not come to harms way."

"Pff." Donna shifted on the couch cushion.

"I'm sure he's fine." Jackie said. She leaned her temple to the top of Steven's head. "He's skinny and a nerd, but hey! That may work out best in his favor!"

"He can't even change a tire." Donna muttered. She pushed herself up off of the couch. "I gotta get to the station. See you guys later."

Donna slammed the basement door closed with more force than necessary. Kelso shook his head, picking at his cuticles. "Women."

-x-

Steven pulled at the collar of his dress shirt. He had convinced Jackie to let him wear black, and had conceded to the bolo tie, but still felt like a primped peacock. He scowled around at the small gathering of people in the back of St. Agnes's Catholic Church, wishing he had smoked the entire joint on their drive into Chicago, instead of only half.

Kelso wandered over, his hands deep in his pockets. "Man, doesn't Brooke look hot?"

Steven released his collar, peering over at Brooke and Jackie across the room. Jackie had on a form-clinging wrap dress, the emerald green offset perfectly with her tanned skin and shiny black hair. Steven checked out her form, nodding in appreciation. "Yeah, she is."

"Mom and Dad?" Father John called. "We're about to start."

"Show time." Michael said, wandering off and over to Brooke. Jackie made her way over to Steven, lacing her arm through his.

"I hate church." Steven mumbled. He pulled at his collar again.

"Steven, stop it!" Jackie reprimanded, smacking his hand. She shook her hair back, massaging her glossed lips together. "It'll be fine. It's only one day."

"This is gonna take all day?" Steven hissed as they followed Brooke and Kelso out into the chapel. "The hell, Jackie, I thought this was like, an hour long thing!"

"Have you never been to a Catholic mass?" Jackie asked as they took their seats in the first pew.

"No, obviously not." Steven said. He began to tug at his collar again, scowling at Jackie when she smacked his fingers once more. "Quit hitting me, woman."

"Quit tugging at your collar!" Jackie tossed back. "If you keep doing that, you'll stretch out the fabric!"

"It's too tight, it feels like it's choking me."

"I'll choke you if you don't stop acting like a child."

"Promise?" Steven smirked. Jackie's eyes rounded comically but she remained silent.

Steven hated every second of mass. Silly incense and incantations. He made a fuss each time they had to kneel for prayer. He groaned when, just as he thought the mass was over, Father John began another litany. He jumped when, at the end of mass, Jackie prodded his ribs, motioning that it was their turn to stand and approach the altar.

Father John began a long description of original sin. Steven zoned out, his hands clasped around his belt buckle. He found himself staring at little Betsy, in her white dress and cap, and hoping he wouldn't have to go through this crap when he and Jackie had kids.

Stunned out of his reverie, Steven glanced at Jackie, hoping she hadn't somehow heard his thoughts. He wished Jackie had let him wear his sunglasses. He felt too exposed. Every eye was on them. And here he was thinking of fucking kids. With Jackie. His heart began to pound in his chest and his fingers rose to tug at his shirt.

"Don't you dare." Jackie mumbled from the corner of her mouth.

Steven's hand dropped.

Sweat began to bead at his temple. A clench of anxiety, like right before he shoplifted, gripped his belly. Father John droned on and on. Michael and Brooke were smiling, beaming at one another and down at their daughter. Betsy for her part was happy, pulling her white lace socks from her feet and stuffing them into her mouth.

"Please bring the child forward," Father John said, motioning to the holy water font. Brooke took off Betsy's cap, holding her over the font. Father John filled the vessel with water, beginning his blessing. "What name do you give this child?"

"Betsy Elizabeth." Michael replied.

"What do you ask of the church?"

"Baptism." Michael again replied.

Father John turned to Jackie and Steven. "Do you, as godparents, promise to uphold and help these parents in their Christian duty?"

"We do." Jackie said, resting her hand on Steven's chest over his heart.

Steven shifted, copying Jackie in her movements, when after the prayer, Father John asked the parents and godparents to trace the sign of the cross onto Betsy's forehead. He scowled when Betsy began to cry as Father John poured holy water three times over her hair. Michael was quick to soothe her, taking her from Brooke's arms and bouncing Betsy in his arms.

"Steven, I can't wait to have babies." Jackie whispered her eyes glazed as she stared at Betsy.

Anxiety and fear washed over him again. He didn't respond. His heart began to pound. His legs felt prickly with the urge to bolt. Steven sighed gratefully when the mass ended, foiled in his attempt to run down the aisle and out of the church by Jackie's grip on his arm.

Brooke slid Betsy's cap over her head. "We're having a small reception for family in the banquet hall in thirty minutes."

"Wonderful!" Jackie exclaimed.

"Yeah, perfect." Steven murmured. Clearing his throat, he tugged Jackie. "We got something we need to do, we'll be right back."

Jackie followed him out of the church and into the parking lot. "Oh, Steven! Wasn't that beautiful?"

"Yeah, baptizing a child without their say into a cult. Wonderful." Steven said, unlocking the Camino. They slid inside its dark interior. Steven turned the key back in the ignition, tuning the radio to a rock station. "Now we can finish that joint."

"I'm good." Jackie said, waving off his offer of first toke.

"Suit yourself." Steven said, lighting up. He drew hard on the spliff, holding the smoke deep in his lungs till the pounding of his heart began to fade. Exhaling, Steven leaned back in the drivers seat, resting his hands on his thighs. "Ah, much better."

Jackie ran her fingers down the seam of the leather seat. "You don't want to baptize our kids, Steven?"

His heart began to pound again. He took another pull off the joint, blowing it out so it mushroomed off the window. "Jackie. No."

"No? What do you mean no? No you don't want to baptize them?" Jackie asked, her fingers stilling.

Steven turned to her. "We aren't talkin' about this."

"Steven." Jackie said, her voice full of dejection. "It was just a simple question."

"No, it wasn't." Steven snapped. "It's never a simple question. You get on a tangent and then we get in a fight about the future, and I don't wanna have that argument now."

Jackie sighed, rolling her eyes. She faced forward staring out the windshield. "No, I don't."

"Yes, you do."

"Well, I have a right to know, Steven." Jackie volleyed. "It's my life too."

"Jackie, please don't do this right now."

"Fine." Jackie bit out, crossing her arms. She chewed on her tongue.

Steven smoked the last of the joint, stubbing it out in the ashtray. He cleared his throat, pulling at his collar. Before Jackie could slap away his fingers, he stopped, holding up his hands passively. "Alright, alright. Can I at least undo the top button?"

"You apparently can do whatever you want, Steven," Jackie said. "I don't care."

"Glad to see we're being reasonable." Steven said. He pulled his bolo loose, undoing the top button. Taking the keys from the ignition, Steven popped open the driver's door, stepping aside to let Jackie out.

Jackie didn't wait for him, taking off across the parking lot. Her heels clicked on the asphalt and her chin was high in the air, arms stiff at her sides.

"Great." Steven breathed, following after her at a distance.

The banquet hall had been arranged with small round tables. Kelso's family took up most of the space, his brothers and sister taking up three tables with their significant others and children of their own. Casey Kelso was the only single Kelso, sipping beer and eye-flirting with Brooke's sister across the hall.

Jackie had settled at the table reserved for the Forman's. She didn't acknowledge Steven as he sat beside her, her fingers playing with her knife. She pretended to be engaged in conversation with Fez.

Steven ignored her snub. He turned towards Donna beside him. "How are you, Pinciotti?"

Donna shrugged, her fingers playing with the stem of her wine glass. "I'm alright."

"No, you're not." Steven said.

"Ok," Donna conceded, "I'm not."

"Yeah, I know" Steven said. "You've been acting like a major bitch."

Donna scoffed, offended. "Gee, thanks, Hyde."

"Look, Donna." Steven said, turning in his seat. "It sucks, getting dumped."

Donna glowered at him.

"Ok, breaking up with someone, whatever." Steven amended. "But you can't treat all of us like crap in the meantime. We didn't do anything."

Donna's eyebrow rose. Silently she was telling him, _you did_ , and Steven perfectly understood. His lips tightened.

"You got yourself in this mess. Don't blame others for your mistakes."

"Wow, Hyde." Donna said, pulling her wineglass closer. "One church service and suddenly your more pious than the freakin' pope."

"It's common sense, Donna." Steven said. His attention was momentarily taken away from Donna. "Well, well, well, look who it is."

"Eric!" Mrs. Forman cried, rushing from her seat towards the door.

"What?" Donna asked, turning in her seat to see the entrance. "Oh, god."

"No, it's Eric."

"Ha. Ha."

Jackie and Fez turned towards Eric, welcoming him. "When did you get back?"

"Late last night." Eric responded to Jackie's question, not making eye contact. "Did I miss the ceremony?"

"Yeah." Donna said.

Eric's eyes briefly landed on Donna and then away. He ran his tongue over his teeth. "When do they serve the food? I'm starving."

"It's a buffet." Jackie said, hooking her thumb over her shoulder. A group of caterer staff were lighting burners. "They're still setting up. There's alcohol though."

"Alcohol?" Eric asked, quirking a eyebrow. "At a church?"

"It's a party." Steven said. "Gotta celebrate the newest member of the Catholic Cult."

Eric sniggered. "Alright."

Steven nodded his head towards the wine table. "Come on, I'll go with you."

"Oh, honey, can you get me a small refill?" Kitty smiled, holding out her empty glass to Eric.

Eric and Steven wandered through the tables. Eric filled Kitty's glass nearly to the brim, and then his own. Steven grabbed a bottle of the red, pouring a generous amount for himself.

"How was your trip?"

"Eye-opening." Eric answered, cryptic. He led the way back to their table.

"So?" Jackie prompted once they had sat down. "Where did you go?"

Eric puffed his cheeks, exhaling slowly. "Oh, I went here and there. I drove to Lake Superior and met some pretty cool people. I probably would have stayed if they hadn't wanted to spend every night dancing naked around the campfire."

Red's face dissolved into a look of disgust.

"Then I went to Milwaukee, and uhm," Eric paused, looking down at the table, "well, I signed up for college."

"You did?" Kitty exclaimed. "Oh, Eric, that's wonderful!"

"Is it in Milwaukee?" Red asked, hopeful.

"Red Forman! He just spent a week away from home, what are you trying to do to me?" Kitty exclaimed, smacking the back of her hand across Red's arm.

"Actually, no, it's not in Milwaukee." Eric said. He took a long gulp of wine, wincing.

Steven and Jackie shared a look. Jackie drummed her nails on the table. "Well, don't keep us here waiting!"

Eric looked up at Jackie, staring hard at her. "It's this teaching program. They pay for your college, if you go and teach English for a year in an impoverished country."

"Impoverished country?" Kitty asked, disbelieving. "Oh!" She slapped a hand down on the table, rattling everyone's glasses. "I bet they'll send you to the Detroit!"

"No," Eric took another gulp of wine, "not Detroit."

"Oh, my god I am going to rip my hair out." Jackie said. "Just tell us!"

"Africa." Eric said. "Cape Town to be exact."

"Africa?" Steven repeated.

"You're going to Africa?" Donna said. She was staring hard at Eric, her eyes fire. "Are you kidding me?"

"Nope." Eric's lips popped around the 'p'.

Steven whistled. Red and Kitty were stunned into silence. Fez turned to Jackie, whispering something into her ear. Jackie nodded, resting forward on the table.

"Africa?" Donna said. Her tone was full of mockery. "You? Africa. You can't even walk through the park at night, what are you going to do in the freakin' Serengeti?"

"The Serengeti isn't anywhere near Cape Town, Donna." Eric replied.

"You've got to be kidding me." Donna yelped. Her cheeks were pink with fury.

"Nope." Eric's lips popped once more. He smirked at her, daring her to say something else.

Donna looked around the table. Not finding what she was looking for in any of her friends, Donna pushed away from the table. "Excuse me."

"We will speak about this when we get home." Kitty said. She sounded angry and close to tears. Her wine glass was empty once more.

"Wow." Jackie said to Steven. "Good for Eric."

"Really?" Steven said. "You don't think he's going to die from a mosquito bite?"

"Maybe." Jackie replied. "But still. He deserves to be happy."

"Yeah." Steven agreed.

Eric slipped into Donna's empty seat. He looked between Jackie and Steven, his eyes settling on Steven's arm that had reached between them and settled on the back of her chair. "So. You two back together?"

"Yes." Jackie cooed, her anger seemingly forgotten.

"How nice." Eric said, his voice hinting that he didn't find it nice at all. Steven watched him warily. "Figures you two would make up. I mean, Hyde here can't keep a secret from you, Jackie. I just didn't think you'd forgive him so quick."

Jackie's smile froze on her mouth. "What are you talking about?"

"Oh." Eric said, laughing. "I see."

"What?" Jackie asked. She turned to Steven. "What is he talking about?"

Steven shook his head, his eyes on Eric. "Nothing, Jackie."

"Eric?" Jackie asked.

Eric shook his head, a small grin on his lips. "Nothing, Jackie, I shouldn't have even said anything."

Jackie licked her lips. "No, tell me."

"It's nothing, Jackie, really." Eric said. "Steven here will tell you. Eventually."

Steven's teeth ground together. _Fuck._

-x-

Jackie had pestered him the whole drive home from Chicago. She was relentless in her assault, using tactics that would make the CIA proud. By the end of the drive, Steven had a massive headache and his teeth hurt. He pulled into the Burkhart driveway, feeling relieved. Finally. A break.

But Jackie didn't get out of the car.

Jackie turned towards him, her arms braced on the dash and seat back. "Tell me. Now."

"Jackie, there's nothing to tell!" Steven said for the millionth time.

"Then why would Eric say that?" Jackie shrieked.

"I don't know? Maybe he was given drugs that altered his mind while he was out on the road!"

"Ugh!" Jackie cried, pressing her fingertips to her eyelids. "Everything is a conspiracy with you."

"Jackie." Steven's head fell back on the seat. He pressed his hands over his stomach, trying to alleviate the guilt that rumbled in his gut. "There. Is. No. Secret."

"Ok, then just tell me." Jackie said.

"I don't know what Forman was talking about!" Steven burst, his voice filling the cab.

"I don't believe you!" Jackie yelled back.

"Well, that's your problem, not mine!"

"I know there's something you've been hiding from me!" Jackie accused, pointing her finger at him. "You've been acting weird ever since we went ice fishing."

"No I haven't."

"Oh, Steven, you are such a bad liar."

"Takes a pro to recognize that."

Jackie's eyes narrowed. "I tell you everything, Steven, and you know that."

"Yeah, and sometimes I wish you'd just shut up." Steven said, instantly regretting his words. He ran a hand down his face. "Look, Jackie, I'm tired. I don't want to talk about this right now."

Tears brimmed Jackie's eyes. She breathed heavily. "Fine. Fine, Steven. Whatever you want."

The Camino rocked on its tires at Jackie's exit. Steven watched her run up the porch steps, and disappear into the house.

"Goddammit." Steven slapped the heel of his palm on the steering wheel. He peeled out of the driveway, gravel flying. Never had he been so pissed. The drive went by in a blur, he wasn't even sure if he had obeyed traffic laws. The Camino's tires squealed as he came to a stop in front of the Forman's.

The lit up house glowed warmly on him, but Steven was too angry to find comfort in his home. He stalked across the lawn, through to the front door. The spring wreath Mrs. Forman had hung rattled on its hanger, and Red looked up at him curiously at his entrance.

"Hey!" Red called after Steven's retreating form. "Don't slam my door!"

Steven cut through the den and into the dining room. He avoided Kitty's call of brownies and coffee, slipping down the stairs into the basement. Fez and Forman looked up at the clatter of Steven's boots on the stairs.

"What the fuck, Forman?" Steven burst.

"What?" Eric said innocently. "How was I to know that you hadn't told her?"

"That's none of your fucking business!" Steven said, his throat aching. His arms shook with anger. His fists clenched at his sides.

"Maybe we should all just take a deep breath." Fez said, standing.

"None of my business?" Eric said, standing from the lawn chair. "Man, don't lecture me about minding one's own business."

"Look, if you've got a problem with me, than have it with me." Steven said. "Don't drag my girlfriend into this."

Eric smirked, nodding his head. He crossed his arms over his chest and locked his knees. "Oh, I see. Girlfriend. Well, I know what kind of stock you put into people's girlfriends, I can only imagine what you said to get Jackie back."

Fez took a step closer to the two men, his body tense.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Steven said. "You have no idea about anything about me and Jackie."

"Well, I know she's your _girlfriend_." Eric took a step closer. "And you put such stock into the sanctity of relationships."

"Hey, don't blame me for Donna dumping your ass." Steven bit out.

"Ok…" Fez took another step closer. "Look, everyone makes mistakes. Let's all just be friends."

Eric hooked a thumb a Fez. "Oh, so you told Fez, but you didn't tell Jackie?"

"I didn't tell Fez anything." Steven said.

"Donna told me." Fez admitted.

"Oh, so Donna is the one sharing secrets." Eric said.

"Look, Forman, you're making a big deal out of this. Jackie and I weren't even together when Donna asked me to kiss her, I didn't cheat." Steven said. "I've already apologized to you. What more do you want of me?"

Eric wheezed, nearly choking on the laughter that rose to his throat. "Oh, Hyde. I want so, so much more."

Steven's heart pounded under his breast. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"You helped ruin my life." Eric said. "Now I'm gonna ruin yours."

Steven had never felt this kind of rage. It consumed him. His toes and fingers went numb. White pinpricks blinded his vision. Somewhere, far away, he heard someone call his name. Eric's smug face was all he could focus on. The pounding of his blood coursing through his veins and arteries filled his ears. His fist raised connecting with Eric's nose.

"Hyde, no!" Fez cried, wrapping his arms about Hyde's middle, pining his arms to his body.

Eric rose to an elbow, sprawled on the floor. He thumbed blood from his nostril, looking up at Hyde.

Steven broke free of Fez's grasp, ignoring the ache in his knuckles. "I didn't mean to do anything to you. I didn't mean to hurt you. Somewhere, deep down, you know that, Forman. This is between you and Donna."

Eric stumbled to his feet. He shoved Hyde's shoulders, surprising Steven with his strength. Blood cascaded from his nose, covering his lips and chin. "You knew what she meant to me! You knew!"

"I'm sorry!" Hyde roared.

Eric fell onto the mushroom ottoman his shoulders slumped. Blood dripped from his nose and off his chin. He propped his elbows onto his knees, pressing the heels of his palms to his eyes.

Fez and Steven looked at him, both silent.

Wracking sobs burst from Eric then. His shoulders shook violently. Just as quickly as the rage had consumed him, the rage dissipated from Steven's body. He sank onto the couch, staring as his friend broke down. Eric bawled, tears and blood dotting the concrete floor. Fez handed Eric a towel. Blood smeared across Eric's cheeks as he swiped at his nose gingerly, then his eyes.

"Forman. I really am sorry." Steven said.

Eric nodded. "Yeah. I know."

Sniffling, Eric pressed the dishtowel to his nose, staunching the flow of blood.

"You alright?" Steven asked, his knuckles on fire.

The corners of Eric's eyes had started to bruise. "No."

"Is it broken?"

Fez knelt in front of Eric, gingerly running his fingers down the length of Eric's nose. "I do not think it is broken."

"Forman, what can I do to make it up to you?" Steven asked.

Eric looked up. "Don't worry about it."

"Forman, you're my best friend." Steven said. "You've been there for me through everything. There has to be something I can do."

Eric wadded up the towel, raspy breaths leaving his lips. He swallowed thickly, tears wetting his cheeks. "Look, don't worry about it. Donna and me… We were never gonna make it."

Steven and Fez shared a look, returning their attention to Eric. Steven felt uneasy, like a burn was still imminent.

Standing, Eric turned to Steven. He pursed his lips, extending his hand to shake. "We cool?"

Steven stood, his eyes searching Eric's. Something felt fishy. Eric was holding back. Steven took Eric's hand, holding back the wince as Eric squeezed his bruising knuckles. Sure they were cool, Steven thought, his own grasp tightening. Eric's eyes burned, and the smile that graced his mouth was tense. They weren't cool, Steven knew. Now he just had to get to Jackie before Forman.

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 **A/N: Things are heating up in here! Please review! They encourage me to write and put out next chapter sooner.**

 **Oh, and I do apologize for any inaccuracies in the baptism scene, I'm not Catholic, so I had to rely on the internet.**


	21. Chapter 21

**The Seeker**

Steven crouched, running across the Burkhart's lawn. The damp grass soaked the cuffs of his jeans. He darted between a pair of rose bushes, pressing up against the red brick of the house. Soft pants left his lips. The moon was bright in the sky, and Steven squatted in the mulch, his eyes scanning the neighbor's house, the yard, and the Burkhart's for any sign that someone had seen his arrival.

All quiet on the western front.

The mulch was damp under his fingertips. Steven waddled on his feet, still crouched, around the side of the house, towards the back where Jackie's bedroom was located.

Jackie's bedroom window was halfway open, the white lace curtains billowing out into the air. Steven eyed the lattice crawling up the side of the house by her window, pulling on it with his hands, wincing at the ache of his knuckles. One last cursory glance of the yard. When he was sure it would hold, Steven began to climb, pausing every couple of rungs to make sure that no one had spotted him.

Arriving at her window, Steven pushed it open the rest of the way, hoisting his body in through the window with a grunt. He fell onto the carpet, knocking her bedside table. He winced at the noise he made on impact, Jackie's knick-knacks clattering together.

"Who's there?" Jackie cried, springing up on her bed.

"Shh!" Steven said, raising his hands. He came up onto his knees. "It's me."

A moment passed.

"Go away, Steven." Jackie said, falling to her knees. She rearranged her pillows, clutching her stuffed unicorn to her chest. The mattress groaned as she fell back onto it, pulling the flowered duvet up to her chin. "I don't want to see you."

Steven slid on his knees across the carpet. He stopped at the side of her bed, staring at the back of her head. His breath teased a tendril of her hair, and Jackie angrily swatted at the fly away strands, pushing them smooth behind her ear. "Jackie, I need to tell you something."

"I don't care. Go away." Jackie replied, her body stiff.

"I can't. Not till I tell you." Steven said.

"I don't want to hear it."

"Well, too bad."

"No." Jackie said, rolling over to face him. She came up onto her elbow, her dark eyes bright in the dim room. "If you couldn't have just told me earlier, you can hold onto it for a bit longer. You were a jerk. And I don't want to talk to you."

Jackie flopped down, turning her back to him.

Steven sighed, his head dropping so his forehead rested on the lip of the mattress. He closed his eyes, willing his breathing to return to a place of calm. Sweat cooled the small of his back. "I didn't want to tell you because I knew it would just hurt you."

"Well, now I really want to hear it, let me tell you." Jackie spat, her words laced with sarcasm. Jackie rolled onto her back, looking at him. "What'd you do? Fuck another nurse?"

"No!" Steven said emphatically, raising his head to meet her eye. "I wouldn't do that to you, not again."

"Then what?" Jackie cried, throwing up her hand. "What could _possibly_ be so terrible?"

Steven chewed his tongue.

"I kissed Donna." Steven ground out.

Jackie's face twitched. Her breathing changed, coming out in short, gasped bursts. She laughed. "I'm sorry. What?"

"Donna. I kissed her." Steven said, rocking back on his heels.

"Why?" Jackie said.

Steven felt his pulse quicken. "Cause she asked me to."

"When?" Jackie prompted, her tone expressing her growing anger.

"That night she and I were at the water tower. We were drinking. We were talking, about you and about Forman." Steven shook his head, curls bouncing. "She started to cry, Jackie. I told her I didn't think she and Forman were good together, that I didn't think they would make it and she started to cry. She asked me to kiss her. I didn't know what to do."

"Oh," Jackie said, climbing out of bed. "I don't know, Steven, you could have _not kissed her_."

"Jackie, we weren't even together." Steven said, standing. His knees ached, the blood rushing back to his feet. "I didn't cheat on you."

"Is that what you've been telling yourself to make you feel better?" Jackie spat. She threw her unicorn plush onto her bed, beginning to pace before her door. "How could you, Steven?"

"I don't know!" Steven burst, wanting to pull out his hair. "I shouldn't have done it, ok? I know that! I regretted it as soon as I did it!"

"Did you sleep with her too?" Jackie asked, coming to a stop.

Steven shook his head no. "No, of course not. I didn't even want to kiss her."

"Oh, but you did." Jackie seethed. "You probably would've slept with her if she'd bawled, huh? Cried just a little bit harder?"

"Jackie, don't be like that." Steven said. He took a step closer to her, pausing when Jackie began to pace again. "Look, I swear, I didn't want to kiss her. Fuck Jackie, from the moment we broke up, all I wanted was to be with you again."

"You've got a funny way of showing it." Jackie said.

"I made a mistake." Steven said, thrown back in time. He had said the exact same thing to her when he had slept with Sharon. "Jackie, I swear, I didn't know what else to do. She caught me unawares."

"Did she force herself on you?" Jackie asked, stopping by her vanity.

Steven's eyes narrowed. "Well, no."

"So she just started to cry and you felt bad and decided you needed to kiss the boo boo all better?" Jackie sat on her vanity poof.

Steven ran his hands through his hair. "She started to cry. She said she needed to know something. She asked me if I would kiss her. I kissed her. That was it."

"Did you french her?" Jackie asked.

"No."

"Did you touch her?"

"No."

"Did she touch _you_?"

"No, nothing like that."

Jackie seemed unconvinced. She crossed her legs, her foot bouncing up and down erratically.

"Jackie, I swear." Steven squatted before her, his hands on her knee. "I swear to you, alls I did was kiss her. And I hated it. I wanted it to be you. I swear."

Jackie shoved his hands off of her. She took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. Her head tipped back, and she stared up at the dark ceiling. "I _knew_ something had happened."

Steven felt his stomach clench. He winced as he answered her. "I know."

"You lied to me." Jackie's chin lowered, and she met his eye. "All this time. You've lied to me."

Shame. Steven looked away. "Jackie, I'm sorry."

"No." Jackie fumed, standing. Her bare feet brushed over the carpet. "I hate being lied to, Steven. I hate it. _You know that_! Do you know how this makes me feel?"

"Probably about as shitty as I do?" Steven guessed, turning to face her.

"Don't try to sympathize with me."

"What do you want me to do then, Jackie?" Steven asked, his tone rising. He spread his hands. "I do know what it's like to be lied to all the time. You think you're the only one whose parents treated them like crap growing up?"

"This isn't about our childhoods, or our parents. This is about how you've been a sneaky son of a bitch and lied to me!" Jackie cried.

"Jesus Christ." Steven mumbled, sinking onto the edge of the mattress.

Jackie came to stand before him. "Was I the only one who didn't know?"

Steven shrugged.

"No, don't do that." Jackie said, leaning back on her right leg. She shrugged at him, her face screwed up as she made fun of him. "You know. Tell me. No more lies."

"As far as I know, Kelso doesn't know." Steven said tiredly.

"So, basically, I am to last to find out." Jackie scoffed, chewing on a thumbnail. "I've turned into Fez."

"Would you have preferred to hear it from Forman?" Steven asked.

Jackie scowled. Her hand dropped away from her face, palm slapping against her thigh. "What do you think?"

Steven's fingers returned to his hair, lacing through his curls. His toes flexed in his boots. Inhaling sharply, Steven pulled sharply on the strands, and then released them, his scalp tingling.

"What else have you lied to me about?" Jackie asked.

"Nothing." Steven answered honestly.

"I don't believe you." Jackie reproached.

"Well, then that's your problem." Steven said. He was quickly growing annoyed with the way the conversation was going. In hindsight, he knew that Jackie would be pissed. He knew that she would doubt him, but he had expected more of her. Maybe that after the initial shock of the news, she would have been able to have a reasonable conversation, and listen to him. Try to understand where he was coming from. Steven felt his shoulders rise and fall and his chin dropped to his chest.

Jackie made a sound deep from her throat.

"Look, Jackie," Steven began, "I'm really sorry I kept this from you. But I didn't do it with the intention of hurting you. I wanted to protect you."

"Protect me?" Jackie asked. "From what? Donna? You think I couldn't take her?"

"I wanted to protect you from this!" Steven said, motioning between their bodies. "I wanted to protect you from this pain and anger."

"How kind. If I cry too, will you kiss it better?" Jackie asked.

Steven's jaw locked. She was testing him. Seeing how far she could push him before he grew too angry, too annoyed with her, and left. She was pushing him away. Steven wasn't going to rise to the bait.

"If you ask nicely." Steven retorted, matching her acerbity.

"Nice, Steven." Jackie crossed her arms.

Silence fell over them. The ticking of the grandfather clock in the hall echoed into Jackie's bedroom. Wind whistled through the open window. Steven watched the curtains billow into the room with a sudden breeze, then suck back out into the night air. Gooseflesh popped up on his bare forearms, and Steven rubbed absently at his skin.

"Tell me everything, everything that happened." Jackie's voice startled him. She sank onto the bed beside Steven, leaving just enough space so no part of them touched. "Don't leave anything out."

"Jackie. I've already told you everything." Steven replied.

Jackie fixed him with a stare. "Then tell me again."

Steven sighed, swallowing thickly. "I was going to go to the water tower either way-"

"Why?" Jackie interrupted.

"Because…" Steven searched for the right words. His back began to twinge. "I just needed to get away. I needed to go to a place where we hadn't been-"

"I've been to the water tower, Steven, lots of times. With you."

Steven continued on as if Jackie hadn't spoken. "Where we hadn't had sex. So I got a twelve pack, and I'd just packed the cooler, and Donna showed up in the basement. She invited herself along."

"Typical Donna."

"So we're drinking, and listening to music, and talking."

"Talking about what?"

"It's like I said," Steven said, feeling very much so like Jackie should have a spotlight on his face for this interrogation. "We ended up talking about you and Forman. At first, man, I don't know, we just talked about bullshit. Whatever. I don't even remember. It honestly was inane bullshit that didn't mean anything. But then, Donna started getting all weird."

"Weird, how?" Jackie asked.

"Emotional."

Jackie huffed. "Just because you try to feel as little as possible, doesn't mean everyone does."

Steven turned to look at her. "That was mean, Jackie. You know that isn't true."

She didn't respond. She kicked her feet out, the mattress bouncing with her shifting weight.

"She was asking me questions about Forman. She wanted to know what I thought of their relationship. I told her I didn't want to get involved." Steven rubbed at his eyes. "But I'd gone to the water tower to not think of you, and there I was, obsessing over you still, and I just wanted to be left the hell alone."

Jackie bent her head, her hair blocking her face.

"We got into the Camino. I started the engine. Donna asked me if I would do something. She said I didn't have to, but she just needed to know something. She asked me to kiss her." Steven stared straight ahead. "And she was crying. Not like heaving sobs, or anything. She was just crying, and looked so defeated, and all I thought about in that moment was that she was a friend. Some friend she turned out to be."

"What do you mean?" Jackie asked.

"What kind of friend asks that of another friend?" Steven let his frustrations spike his words. "She made me her scapegoat. She used me. She knew this would happen, and she didn't care."

"You're mad at her." Jackie stated, peeking at him around her hair.

"Well. Yeah." Steven said, as if it were obvious.

"I don't understand what she needed to figure out." Jackie said. "That she didn't want to be with Eric anymore?"

"I think she needed that one thing to bolster her confidence to break up with him." Steven said.

"What a bitch." Jackie whispered. "I knew something was up. Steven, I knew it the whole time."

"You're very perceptive." Steven said without irony.

Jackie chewed on her lower lip. "I always know. God!" Jackie bounced up off the bed. "I am so mad, I could- I could just punch something!"

"Mad at me?" Steven asked, watching her warily.

"Partly." Jackie said. She rounded on him, pointing an accusatory finger. "You swear you're not lying to me?"

"Jackie, I swear."

"Swear on something you love. Swear on the Camino. Swear on Led Zeppelin. Swear on dirty jeans."

"Jackie I swear on the Camino, on Robert fucking Plant, and on every Steve McQueen movie I've ever seen that I'm not lying to you." Steven said. "I've told you everything."

Jackie nodded. "Ok."

"So you believe me?" Steven asked.

Jackie shrugged. "I guess."

"You guess?"

"This is a lot to take in, Steven." Jackie said, covering her face with her hands. She swept her palms over her cheeks, pushing her hair back. "Look, can we talk about this tomorrow? I'm tired. I need to think."

Steven opened his mouth, prepared to say tell her no. Jackie did look tired. And he had dumped a lot of information on her. He had to trust that her mind wouldn't take her down the wrong rabbit hole.

"Yeah. Yeah, alright." Steven stood. He paused on the shag rug, reaching out to touch her hand with the tip of his fingers. "Jackie. I love you."

"I know, Steven." Jackie replied. She toed the carpet. "I love you, too."

-x-

Jackie was like a jungle cat, poised in the treetops, waiting for her prey. She was Zen on the outside. Cool, calm and collected.

The shit had hit the fan, but she had the upper hand. She held the ace, and she was going to use it to her favor. None of the others, except Steven, knew that she knew. She'd milk all the information she could. Figure out if what Steven had told her really was the truth.

Eric looked shocked to see her, when he opened his bedroom door. His fluffy hair stuck up in the back, and he pulled his bed sheet tighter around his body. A bruise, purple and black, stained the bridge of his nose. "Jackie?"

Holding up a bag of Danish's, Jackie shone a megawatt smile on him. "I brought breakfast."

"Why?" Eric asked, eyeing the bag warily.

Jackie shrugged a shoulder. Her cheeks began to burn holding her smile in place. "I just figured, we could, y'know, talk."

"Uh, huh…" Eric said slowly. He looked down at himself. The door closed a hair. "Let me put on some, uh, pants."

"Yes, please." Jackie said.

Eric all but slammed the door in her face. Jackie could hear Eric fumble around in his room, opening and closing dresser drawers. She waited patiently, leaning against Laurie's closed bedroom door. Eric's hair was still unkempt when he opened his door, but the bed sheet had thankfully been replaced with jeans and a t-shirt.

Jackie quirked a smile. The bag of pastry rose once more. "Can I come in?"

Opening the door wider, Eric made a sweeping gesture, admitting her into his bedroom. Jackie looked around with a cynical eye. She couldn't remember if she had ever been in his room before, and she found the close quarters as uncomfortable as Eric apparently felt as well. He struggled over whether he should close to door or not, finally settling on closing it.

Shaking the bag of Danish, Jackie whirled on her heel. "Hungry?"

"Yeah. Always." Eric replied. He snatched some clothes off of his desk chair, wadding them in his hands. "Here, have a seat."

"Thanks." Jackie sat, setting her purse on top of Eric's cluttered desk. She caught a peek of Playboy, and quickly looked away. "Steven doesn't know I'm here."

Eric's face played a range of emotions. He took the bag from Jackie, plopping onto the end of his bed. His voice was curious when he spoke. "Oh?"

Jackie's fingers tugged at one another. "Look, Eric. I just really needed a friend. I needed someone I could trust. Someone I know wouldn't lie to me."

"How do you know I wouldn't lie to you?" Eric asked.

"You don't like me enough to care." Jackie stated.

Eric again looked uncomfortable. He babbled for a moment, cut himself off, and then busied himself with a Danish.

Jackie let him eat, trying her hardest to keep the look of disgust off her face as crumbs dribbled from Eric's mouth and onto his shirt. Eric stuffed his cheeks with pastry, balling up the bag and lobbing it towards the trashcan. The waxed paper rimmed the basket, falling into its depths. Jackie resisted the urge to clap in surprise. She needed to be on Eric's good side, not his petty side.

"I don't know what you want me to say, Jackie." Eric started, wiping crumbs away. "I think you need to talk to Hyde."

"Well I'm here talking to you." Jackie said, leaning her elbows onto her knees. "I know you and I haven't always gotten along. I know we have our differences. But I've always considered you a friend, Eric."

Eric's green eyes met hers with trepidation. "Jackie, I don't know that I'd call us friends. We hate one another."

"I don't hate you." Jackie said, honestly.

"Well." Eric laughed, disbelieving. His hand rose, smoothing down his hair.

Jackie licked her lips. "All I want to do is talk."

"About what?"

"About the _big_ _secret_." Jackie said, fanning her fingers. "You brought it up, Eric, you teased me with it yesterday like it was no big deal." Jackie shrugged, leaning back in the desk chair. "So. If it's no big deal, than just tell me."

"Hyde will tell you when he's ready."

"No. I want _you_ to tell me." Jackie said. "Steven will just, tell me what I want to hear, or whatever. I need to know the truth."

"The truth." Eric repeated.

"Please, Eric. I need to know." Jackie persisted. She reached out towards him, grasping his hand. Eric grew stiff under her touch.

"The truth." Eric said again.

Jackie nodded. She released Eric, working her face into a look on contrition.

"Well." Eric started, his eyebrows rising on his forehead. "You know Donna dumped me. She cheated on me."

Eric paused, waiting for Jackie's reaction. When he received none, he continued.

"It's not just that she cheated on me. It's who she cheated on me with." Eric watched Jackie closely for her response.

Jackie felt her pulse quicken. But she was Zen. Steven had taught her that. "Well? Who was it? Do we know him?"

"Yeah, we know him." Eric said.

They stared one another down.

"Say it." Jackie demanded.

Eric scratched his temple. "You know… Now that I think about it… I really don't know that I should."

"Oh, don't be a wuss, Eric." Jackie admonished. "We've come too far for you to chicken out now, this isn't the line for Shockwave at Six Flags."

"Ok, fine, it's Hyde." Eric burst. "Donna cheated on me with Hyde."

"With Steven?" Jackie asked, drawing on her natural acting talent. She scoffed. She pushed her hair back from her shoulders and laughed like Eric had told her the funniest joke she had ever heard. "No, Steven wouldn't do something like that."

"Oh, but he would," Eric leered, " _for a friend_."

"The hell does that mean?" Jackie asked.

Eric leaned closer. "It means that Hyde and Donna! They kissed!" Eric's voice grew in pitch. His hands gripped his hair, "And he helped her as _a friend_ by kissing her!"

"That doesn't sound like something Steven would do." Jackie said.

"Hey, don't shoot the messenger. I heard it straight from the horse's mouth." Eric said.

Jackie chewed her lip. Her eyes narrowed. "When did this happen? What all happened? Tell me everything."

"I don't know, when they went to the water tower?" Eric said. He stretched his neck. "They made out in the Camino. God, I can't even look at that car without feeling intense rage."

Standing, Jackie began to pace, her thumbnail firmly between her teeth. She pushed aside a pile of Eric's clothing on the floor, stopping briefly at his window. Pointing out at Donna's house, Jackie rounded on Eric. "What does Donna have to say about all of this?"

"Huh?" Eric asked stupidly.

"Think!" Jackie cried, smacking Eric's arm. She sat beside him on the mattress, shoving him over to make room for herself. "When Donna told you what happened, that fateful day at the ice shack, what _exactly_ did she say? I always made Michael tell me everything! That way, I had plenty of ammo against him when we got back together."

"Ok." Eric said, blinking rapidly. His warm arm pressed against her. "She said that things weren't working out between us. I asked her what she meant, and then she said that she had kissed someone else and felt more kissing him than she had felt kissing me since we called off the wedding. For a year, Jackie, I'd been living this lie, thinking everything was cool. And Hyde made her feel more in a night than I had in months."

Green fingers of jealousy gripped Jackie's belly. She swallowed thickly over the wave of nausea that rolled up her throat at the thought of Steven, her Steven, and Donna making out.

"They couldn't have done _it_." Jackie said. Her head shook slowly from side to side. "I mean. Steven wouldn't do that, not to me. A kiss…. Well, that's not _so_ terrible."

"You two weren't even together, what do you care so much?" Eric asked.

"Why did you care so much to hurt me with it, then?" Jackie retorted.

Eric nervously laughed. "I didn't- No. I didn't want to _hurt_ you, I just didn't want you to- No, that wasn't at all the plan-"

"So you had a plan?" Jackie asked. "What were you going to do? Break up me and Steven, because Donna had broken your heart?"

"Look here." Eric stood, rounding to face Jackie. "You can't just come in my room, at ten o'clock in the morning, and- and throw accusations in my face like some kind of accuser."

"Eric." Jackie stood, taking a step closer. She jabbed her pointer finger into his chest. "You were. You were going to try to come between Steven and me. Don't you see who the real enemy is here?"

Eric's eyes narrowed.

"Donna." Jackie said.

Eric's eyes rose to the ceiling and he exhaled slowly. "Jackie. No. We can't do anything to Donna."

"Why not?" Jackie asked. "You do realize she's put a wedge between all of us, right? She's the Yoko now!"

"Because, I still love her." Eric said, his voice jarring. "She's my best friend. She's it, The One, I can't ruin any future chances I may have with her over some kind of petty revenge."

"Oh, but ruining the lives of your friends is perfectly alright?" Jackie asked hotly. She slapped Eric across the side of his head. "You are so stupid! You and Donna are not going to get back together!"

"Oh, what do you know?" Eric threw back at her. "Your boyfriend sexually comforts any girl who has an emotional breakdown, you think that's going to work out in your favor? What happens the next time Donna feels upset and runs to Hyde?"

"You don't know what you're talking about," Jackie spat, grabbing her purse from Eric's desk. "Good luck with your plan to break up Steven and me. It won't work."

Eric cackled at her retreating form. "Just you wait and see missy!"

-x-

Jackie cupped her chin in her palm, drumming the nails of her free hand on the tiled island. She watched Pam across the kitchen, at the small wet bar, preparing a pitcher of margaritas. Pam's hips swayed to the music pulsing from the small radio beside her.

"Well, what did this Donna do when you confronted her?" Pam asked, bringing the pitcher over to the island. She licked her fingers, wiping them absently on a dishtowel. "Bernie, where are the limes?"

"Nothing, I haven't confronted her." Jackie responded. "I haven't seen Donna since the baptism."

Bernard set a plate of limes down on the island counter. He turned away and came back with a plate of salt. "What did your boyfriend have to say about it all?"

Jackie glared at Bernard unhappy with the pretense he was playing at Big Happy Family. She didn't answer him, but sat back on her barstool, her arms crossing. "I mean, it's one thing to kiss someone else's man, but it's another thing when it's your best friend! Why wouldn't she tell me? I mean, if I'd kissed Eric, I would have told Donna like right away."

Pam slid a margarita across the island towards her daughter. Jackie took to cool glass in her fingers, tapping her nails against the sides.

"Not that I would kiss Eric. Yuck!" Jackie gagged, washing down the taste with a sip of margarita. Jackie set the glass down on the island roughly. "It's the thing of the matter. At least Steven was honest with me."

"But was he, dear?" Pam asked. She cocked her head, thick blond hair sweeping over her shoulders. "Now I'm not trying to start anything, but Steven does have a history, y'know."

Jackie scowled at her mother. "Mom, don't. You don't even know Steven. He wouldn't do something like that to hurt me."

Pam's lips pinched like she'd eaten something sour. "Ok, all I was saying is that he does have a history."

"Did he cheat before?" Bernard asserted himself into the conversation again. He smoothed his mustache, wrapping an arm around Pam's thin waist. "It's like they say, 'Once a cheater, always a cheater'."

"I wouldn't go that far," Pam said, giving Bernard a look of derision. "I mean, Jack and I have both always known that one needs to have fun. Openness in a marriage isn't a bad thing."

"Ok, the both of you need to mind your own business." Jackie said, pushing off her stool. She left her margarita unfinished on the counter.

"Sweetheart, we're just trying to help!" Pam called.

"We're here if you need us!" Bernard's voice followed.

"Ugh, get bent." Jackie mumbled, running up the stairs. She needed advice. She needed someone to tell her what to do. Before, when she had been dating Michael, she had turned to Donna for advice, or maybe Valerie at school. But Donna was now involved, and Valerie was the biggest gossip in all of Point Place.

No, what she needed was someone who was neutral. Someone who wouldn't judge Steven for his past indiscretions, because they had no idea of his past indiscretions.

The small sip of tequila was enough to bolster Jackie's resolve. She gathered her purse and a jacket, slipping into her wedges. Slamming her door, Jackie ran down the stairs, grabbing the Lincoln's keys from the small porcelain bowl in the foyer. Pam wouldn't need the car. Besides, she had _Bernie_ to drive her wherever she needed to go.

The Lincoln roared to life, and Jackie tore out of the drive, heading towards the town's limits. She had only made this drive a couple of times, and never alone, but she felt confident that she would be able to find the prison without any trouble. The scenery quickly transformed into farmland. Cows dotted pastures, and Jackie white-knuckled the steering wheel the closer she got to the prison and her father.

Following the signs, Jackie exited the highway, apprehension settling on her shoulders. She parked the Lincoln in the visitor's lot, following another lone woman into the prison. Jackie gave the attending officer her father's information, taking a seat in the waiting area. The chair was hard and uncomfortable, and Jackie stared at the door leading to the visitor's area.

"Burkhart?"

Jackie jumped up from her seat, rushing the prison guard. He led her down a cinder-block hallway, opening a metal gate into the visitor's area. Jackie scanned the small area, finding her father after a moment.

Jack Burkhart had grown a beard and lost about twenty pounds. He looked lean and muscular, and gray spotted his temples and facial hair. When he saw his daughter, Jack stood from the table beaming. "Jacqueline!"

"Daddy!" Jackie cried, tears welling in her eyes. She weaved through the tables, throwing herself into her father's arms. "Daddy, I've missed you so much!"

"I've missed you too!" Jack cooed in Jackie's ear. He held his daughter tight to his chest, his mere touch a comfort on Jackie's heart. "It's been too long."

"I know." Jackie said, pulling away. She wiped the pad of her thumb under her eyes, taking a seat across the table. Guilt wracked her, as always did when she thought of her father in prison. "Daddy, I'm sorry."

Jack grabbed one of Jackie's hands, his skin rough and callused. "It's alright, kitten. You're here now."

A bell filled the air, and Jackie jumped. Jack patted her hand. "It's alright. What's wrong, kitten?"

"Nothing." Jackie said automatically. Her eyes rolled hard and she felt new tears well up, burning her eyes. "Well, I mean, it's something, but I don't know if maybe I'm making a big deal out of it."

"Ok." Jack said. He released Jackie's hand, leaning back in his chair. "Tell me about it. Boy troubles? Your mother?"

Jackie glanced up at mention of Pam. Jack's tone was bitter, and his dark eyes had narrowed.

"Mom is- whatever." Jackie said, dismissing the topic with a wave of her hand. "It's Steven."

"What happened?" Jack leaned forward. "Did he hit you? I'll kill him."

"No!" Jackie burst. She quieted down, noticing she had garnered the attention of a couple other inmates and their visitor's. "Steven would never do that. No, it's just. Ok. So we broke up because he wouldn't commit to me, and then he kissed Donna, and then we got back together, and I don't know what to do about it all."

"You broke up with him, or he broke up with you?" Jack asked.

"I broke up with him." Jackie said. "All I needed was for him to propose, Daddy, that's all I was asking for, and he wouldn't. He wouldn't even give me some sort of hint that we were going to make it and maybe someday get married."

Jack scratched an eyebrow, crossing his legs. "So while you two were broken up, he kissed Donna? This is the girl who let you live with her when you're mother was away?"

"Yes."

"I thought she was dating that other boy you always see." Jack said. "What's his name?"

"Eric." Jackie supplied. "She was, but then she got Steven to kiss her and she told Eric, and they broke up." 

"So she used your boyfriend to end her relationship." Jack stated.

Jackie slapped her palms onto the table. "Yes!"

"But you two weren't back together when this happened."

Jackie's eyes rolled again. "Technically, no."

Jack sighed. "Jacqueline, I'll be honest, I don't understand why you're upset."

Jackie made a sound of dissention from the back of her throat. "Daddy. Because Steven kept this from me! This happened, like weeks ago, and I'm only just now finding out. Steven lied!"

"Well, sweetheart," Jack scowled like he didn't want to say what he was about to say, "you two weren't together. He probably didn't want to hurt you. Make you worry more had happened than had actually happened."

"But that's just it!" Jackie jumped in. "Now I don't know what to believe!"

"Does Steven usually lie to you?" Jack probed. "That Michael lied to you all the time."

"No, Steven doesn't lie." Jackie said, looking down at her hands. "I mean that's like the _one_ thing Steven doesn't do, is lie. He may not want to tell me when things go wrong, or he messes up, but he still tells me."

"Then what's the big deal, kitten?" Jack asked.

Jackie palmed her chin. "It's just, now the gang is all broken up. Donna is mad at Eric, and Eric is mad at Steven, and Steven is mad at Donna. Eric is trying to break up Steven and I. I don't know what to do."

Jack sighed once more, lacing his fingers over his crossed knee. "Jacqueline, I think punishing Steven is the wrong way to go."

Suddenly defensive, Jackie leaned back from the table. "I'm not punishing Steven."

"You are very much so like your mother." Jack continued. "You are both beautiful women. And you can both be cruel."

Jackie sat dumbfounded, her mouth opening and closing like a fish.

"Think about it this way. Steven didn't have to tell you at all. But he did. I don't think he had bad intentions, sweetheart." Jack said. "I think the problem you have is with Donna. She doesn't seem like she's being a very good friend. Maybe the reason why you're so upset is because she used Steven so wrongly."

"Huh." Jackie said, chewing on her cheek. "You know, I think you're right, Daddy."

Jack nodded. "I think you need to talk to Donna, kitten."

"Yeah," Jackie agreed. "But what about Steven? I mean, how do I know that all he did was kiss her?"

"Well." Jack quirked an eyebrow. "Let me ask you something, Jacqueline."

"Ok."

"Does it really matter?"

Jackie's eyebrows furrowed. "What?"

"In the end, say if Steven did do something more with Donna, is it going to change how you really feel about him?" Jack asked. He held up a hand when Jackie opened her mouth to retort. "No, no, hear me out, kitten."

Jackie's teeth clenched.

"How long have you and Steven been together?" Jack asked.

"A while." Jackie said. "A year and eight months." _Plus or minus the months we weren't together because of the nurse._

"And in that time, has he ever given you reason to doubt his sincerity?" Jack said.

Taking a deep breath, Jackie massaged her lips together. Her father had a point. Steven had always been sincere in his actions. He didn't lie to her, even when she didn't want to hear what he had to say. On many occasions, Steven had protected Jackie from pain and harm, from perverts at amusement parks and even Michael's own infidelity. He had punched out Chip for calling her a bitch. He had stepped up and taken her to prom, to the Valentine's Dance, and had been there for her when her mother had left, giving her a safe place to stay. Everything Steven had done had been with her best interests in his heart.

How could she doubt him now?

"No, I guess he hasn't." Jackie said, meeting Jack's eye. "But why didn't he just tell me?"

"Would you have wanted to tell him?" Jack lobbied.

Jackie rolled her eyes, conceding defeat. "Ok, but then what am I going to do about Eric and Donna? Donna's my best friend. Well, she was. And Eric has decided it's his life's mission to break up Steven and I."

"I wouldn't worry about Eric." Jack said, leaning his forearms onto the metal table. "He's in pain and in denial. It's Donna you need to talk to. If she really is your best friend, you two should be able to work things out."

"What if I don't want to work things out with Donna?" Jackie asked.

"Then don't." Jack said. "But a Burkhart doesn't go down easily. She tried to take something that was yours, and now it's up to you to protect it."

"You know what, you're right." Jackie said. She jumped up from the table, wrapping her arms about Jack's shoulders. Kissing his temple, Jackie pulled back. "Thank you, daddy. I gotta get back. I have a lot of work to do. I'll be back soon."

"Alright, kitten." Jack said, smiling at Jackie.

Jackie paused at the exit, turning back to look at her father. She wrapped her hand about the metal bar, pressing the tips of her fingers of her free hand to her lips. She blew him a kiss, smiling broadly when Jack pretended to catch it, pressing the kiss over his heart.

"I love you, Daddy." Jackie said softly before turning away. She marched out of the prison towards the Lincoln, feeling like a new woman. She had plans to make, and a reckoning to bring. Her father was right.

A Burkhart never went down without a fight.

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 **A/N: I got lost in a subreddit on That 70s Show. Where I realized that there are wayyyyyy too many people who think that Jackie is a terrible person and Steven is a deadweight loser. Which they may be in the very beginning, but, my god, the progression that happens as the show goes on, you can't ignore it.**

 **Anywho.**

 **Eric still has something up his sleeve. Donna still needs to have her ass handed to her. And Steven and Jackie still need to drive off into the sunset with the windows down and Led Zeppelin blaring.**

 **I loved all of your reviews! Please keep them coming!**


	22. Chapter 22

**The Seeker**

Jackie was surprised to see the El Camino parked at the curb before her house. She leaned over the steering wheel, coming to a near stop, before she continued on into the driveway, past Steven and parking the Lincoln in the garage. The inside of the car was deafening in its silence when she turned off the engine, staring at the shiny black car in the rearview mirror. Her breath was loud in her ears. Jackie scowled her hands loosely gripping the top of the steering wheel.

Palming the Lincoln's keys, Jackie slammed the car door closed, pausing at the edge of the garage. She waited, watching the Camino idle. Its dark tinted windows gave away nothing. Jackie waited to see if Steven would emerge. Gasoline and turpentine vapors burned the small hairs on the inside of her nostrils. Jackie sniffed, taking a small step out onto the gravel drive. She could hear the rumble of the Camino's muffler from her spot by the garage. With a sigh, she made her way towards the vehicle.

Gravel crunched under her wedges with each step. Her heart beat obnoxiously under her breast. Her father's words echoed in her ears. Jackie held her chin high, her dark eyes fixed on the car looming larger before her.

Steven popped open the passenger door, leaning across the cab of the Camino. Jackie slid into the car, her heart pounding in her chest, tattooing it's drum on her bones. Turning down the music, Steven glanced at Jackie and then away, chewing on the inside of his cheek. His thumb picked at the leather covering over the steering wheel. His shoulders were curled over his body, waiting for the blow he was sure Jackie was going to inflict upon him.

"How long have you been here?" Jackie burst, her voice booming in the quiet cab.

Steven glanced at the dash, reading the clock hands. "Uhm. I guess about an hour or so." Trepidation coated his words. His cobalt eyes fixed on her, trying to read her as fast as possible, before they flitted away again, focusing on the leather steering wheel cover.

If she hadn't had known him as well as she did, his next question would have come across exactly and only as he meant it to: aloof. "Where ya been?"

"I went to see my father." Jackie said. She pulled her left leg up onto the seat, leaning back against the door. A deep sigh pushed past her lips. Her dark eyes watched his profile. "It's a long drive."

"Ah." Steven nodded. "Yeah, it's a ways." Jackie watched his thumb worry a divot into the leather cover. He stopped suddenly, his pointer finger rubbing over his thumbnail. "Good visit?"

"Yeah, yeah." Jackie said. Her eyes searched the visible side of Steven's face. "He gave me a lot of good advice."

"That's cool." Steven said. He chewed his cheek, his eyes darting up to look at her and then out the windshield. His hand fell off the steering wheel, resting, seemingly relaxed, into his lap.

Jackie could have laughed with the tension that was rolling off of Steven's body. She could read through his Zen so easily, it wasn't even fun anymore. There was no game to play, no fight to be had. She had finally cracked the last code to be broken. He was afraid that this was it. He didn't want an argument. He wanted to know what she was thinking. All the questions he would never voice at loud, Jackie could see rolling across the planes of his body. On the drive home from the prison she had already decided where she was going to focus all of her energy. On the person who had caused all of this pain and anger. The one who had wrecked havoc upon the group and tried to come between her and her boyfriend.

Jackie was going to punish the real perpetrator. A surge of protectiveness engulfed her, and Jackie reached out, grasping his thigh. She could feel the intensity of her emotions in her eyes, on her cheeks and across her shoulders. She felt tight, like the strings on a violin, quivering with tension.

"Steven. Look at me." Jackie said, her voice soft.

Steven rolled his eyes, angling them away. He pulled the quarter glass window open and yanked it shut.

"Steven." Jackie repeated.

"What?" Steven asked, turning to look at her. His eyes searched her face, his hands returning to pick at the steering wheel cover.

"I believe you." Jackie said.

"What?" Steven asked again, this time confused. His hands stilled.

"I said that I believe you." Jackie slid across the bench seat closer. She took one of his hands. Her knee pressed into his thigh. Steven's eyebrows furrowed, and he stared first at her fingers clasped over his and then, dubiously, up at her face.

A nervous laugh escaped him. "Ok." A question.

"I'm not playing with you, Steven." Jackie said, her mouth tensing. She pressed closer. "Look, my dad told me some things that make sense. He asked me, that if after all of this- this _crap_ , would being mad and punishing you change the way I feel for you, and it really made me think."

"Uh huh." Steven said, his cobalt eyes sweeping back and forth between hers. His tone was suspicious. His body was fraught with anxiety.

"Steven, I'm serious." Jackie continued, not breaking eye contact. Her fingers tightened over his. "Look. I love you. And in the end that means more to me than some kiss. You didn't have to tell me, but you did. Just like you didn't have to tell me about that skank-nurse, or the time Tiffany Waters decided to run around Jeff's party topless. Or all the sluts you've seen at strip clubs."

Steven's mouth twitched, but he remained quiet.

"And my dad helped me realize that the person I'm really mad at isn't you at all. Despite however jealous it makes me feel that you've seen that, or done it, or whatever." Jackie paused. Her chest rose and fell. "It's Donna. She's the one that's done all this."

"Donna." Steven repeated, his head nodding slowly. He seemed dazed. "You're only mad at Donna. Not me."

"Well." Jackie shrugged, her eyes widening. "Yeah."

Steven cleared his throat. He didn't seem to know what to say. His mouth opened and closed several times. His free hand came up to rub the corners of his mouth, then rub down his face, pulling his skin tight.

"Look." Jackie started, shifting her weight. Her foot pinned under her body tingled with pins and needles. "Steven. I know what I want. And what I _want_ is to be with you. And I want us to be happy in the meantime. The least I could do is _not_ punish you for something you were honest about."

"Are you feeling ok?" Steven asked, gasping a laugh. He pulled his hand free, tugging at his curls. A rush of air broke past his lips, his hands slapping on the steering wheel. His knuckles whitened as he tightened his hold on the leather. "Look, if you're trying to get me all comfortable before you pull the plug on something worse, that I get. But don't torture me now, Jackie." A maniacal laugh filled the cab. "Put me out of my misery."

"I'm not punishing you!" Jackie said, her tone hard. She groaned loudly, slapping the back of her fingers across Steven's bicep. "Steven! How are we going to trust one another, and keep that trust, if we punish one another for being honest? Hmm?"

Steven turned away, his hands dropping, limp, into his lap. He looked around him as though he were waiting for someone to pop out and yell BURN in his face.

"Steven?" Jackie prompted, leaning forward. She hooked her pointer finger on his chin, turning his face so they were once again looking at one another. "Hello?"

"I'm sorry, I'm just in…" Steven exhaled roughly. Moist, warm air blew across Jackie's face. "I guess I'm just in shock. I thought that this was going to be more of a fight."

"Do you want it to be a fight?" Jackie challenged, eyebrow arching.

"No." Steven said.

"Good, I don't want it to be either." Jackie said. "I love you, Steven. More than I thought I could. And I don't want us to fight anymore. I just want to be with you."

Steven took a couple of deep breaths, staring at Jackie in trepidation. "Yeah, alright."

Jackie pursed her mouth, her eyes widening. "And you…?"

"And I…" Steven started, confused. "I want us to be happy too?"

"Good." Jackie relaxed. She faced forward, draping her legs to the right of the gearshift. "Now. Would you drive me to K-Mart? I need to buy something."

"Yeah, sure." Steven replied, still guarded. He shifted to first, looking over his shoulder before he pulled away from the curb. "What do you need to get at K-Mart?"

"Just a few little things." Jackie said, nonchalant.

"Ok." Steven signaled his turn onto Main Street. He propped his elbow on the doorframe. The muffler rumbled as Steven accelerated onto Main. "How was your dad?"

Jackie swallowed thickly, turning to face the passenger's window. "He was ok, I think. I mean, he didn't look a thing like how I expected. He's lost weight, and I think he's been working out, so he's like thin and buff now. I don't know, I felt guilty."

"Guilty?" Steven asked, turning onto Franklin. "Why did you feel guilty?"

"I haven't been to see him in a while." Jackie said, watching as they neared the small strip center where the K-Mart was located. "It's been since the last time you and I went together. A few months." Steven pulled into the parking lot, passing the empty building that used to house the Foto-Hut. Jackie stared at its blue-shingled roof. "I should be better, a better daughter."

"Don't be so hard on yourself, Jackie." Steven said. "Your dad understands you have a life."

"Yeah, but _he_ doesn't. He's stuck in prison. The least I could do is go see him every once in a while." Jackie argued as Steven parked. "Like, I don't know, I could take up a hobby. Listen to some books on tape or whatever, to pass the time. Ugh, that sounds terrible."

Steven didn't respond, pulling the emergency brake forcefully.

They were both quiet walking side by side into K-Mart. Jackie grabbed a small basket, taking off towards the cosmetic's aisle. The K-Mart was crowded with people, and Steven clung close to Jackie's side, whistling low under his breath. He trailed after her into the hair care aisle, his thumbs hooked around his belt buckle. Jackie stopped halfway down, scanning the rows of boxes before her.

Steven picked up a box of hair dye, his eyes scanning the back of the cardboard. A chuckle escaped him as he gestured with the box towards Jackie. "You lookin' to change your hair? Gonna rob a bank? Commit a felony? You know they don't place men and women in the same prison."

Jackie studied the box of dye in her own hand. She shrugged noncommittally. "I was just thinking, maybe something a little lighter. Blonde, maybe." Jackie jutted out a hip, reading the box. "Either way, I'll look better than Donna."

"I like your hair the way it is." Steven said, bending close to her ear. His breath tickled the shell of her ear. He set the box of dye back on the shelf, skirting around her and edging down the aisle. The heat of his breath warmed her ear long after he had spoken and Jackie raised her shoulder, pressing the side of her head to her body.

Quirking a brow, Jackie set back the box of hair dye, moving on to a new color. She picked up a box, turning it over to read the instructions. Feeling, more than seeing, his presence, Jackie waited as Steven made his way towards her again, and stopping at her shoulder, read the box in her hand. He guffawed, the burst of air ruffling her hair.

"Magenta Mania?" Steven reached around Jackie, taking another box off of the shelf. "Peacock Dream? Mermaid Lagoon? You suddenly into punk music? Wanna look like Debbie Harry?"

"No, obviously not." Jackie said, slapping the box down onto the shelf.

Steven crossed his arms, knees locking.

"Ok, fine." Jackie whirled around. She pulled Steven even closer by the belly of his t-shirt, eying the empty aisle to left and right. Pinching his shirt tight in her grasp, Jackie looked deep into his eyes. "If I tell you, you can't give it away."

"You've got my attention." Steven said.

Jackie licked her lips, shifting her weight from foot to foot. "I'm going to get back at Donna." She licked her lips again, eyes narrowing. "For what she did."

"You are?" Steven asked. His eyes flicked down to the box of dye lining the shelves behind Jackie. "You're gonna dye her hair? Won't she be a bit suspicious? Or read the box?"

"Duh." Jackie said, slapping the back of her fingers on Steven's crossed forearms. "That's why I'm going to put the dye in her _shampoo_. She'll never know till she washes her hair. And then it'll be too late."

"Huh." Steven said. He nodded, pondering the situation. "Yeah, I guess that could work."

"Well, do you have a better idea?" Jackie asked. She adjusted the strap of her purse, pretending she didn't feel slightly butt-hurt by his lack of enthusiasm to her plan.

Steven's eyes grew bright. "I was thinking more along the lines of a long subterfuge."

"Huh?" Jackie asked, perplexed.

"Little things, over a series of time, that just make her lose her shit." Steven said. "We change the wattage of the light bulb in her room. Rearrange the posters on the wall. Jam the seat of her car up a space so it feels off. Shave the heel off one of her boots by a fraction so it's slightly lower than the other one and gives her a backache."

Jackie's mouth fell open. "You are a genius."

Steven smirked. "Tell me something I don't know."

"Oh, Donna is so going to regret messing with what's mine." Jackie said, rising on tiptoe.

Steven indulged her kiss. "When do we get started, Doll?"

Jackie grasped his arm, pulling his towards the home goods aisle. "As soon as possible."

-x-

Jackie had never been a part of a stakeout before, but she had seen every episode of Charlie's Angels and figured it couldn't be that different. Perfectly tanned skin and a string bikini she would use to entice a John into confessing what happened to his missing girls. A fancy ball gown hiding her gun strapped to her thigh. Being the most beautiful woman in the room, and making all the men there instantly fall in love with her.

Stakeouts, as it turned out, were boring as hell. She picked the nail polish from her left hand, leaving a pile of baby pink shavings on the pavement around her. There weren't Johns to deceive. There wasn't a dazzling ball for her to go to and enchant all-powerful businessmen into confessing their secret sex trafficking industry. Growing restless, she moved about the alley behind the Forman's and Pinciotti's like a caged animal. She hummed _The Rubberband Man_ under her breath, dancing slightly as she wandered away from Steven.

Steven, on the other hand, remained composed, leaning against the Henderson's fence, his arms crossed and eyes staring up at Donna's bedroom window. His eyes never left the Pinciotti's house; Jackie wasn't even sure if he blinked. The only part of him that moved was his right foot, which occasionally tapped to whatever song he was playing in his mind.

"How much longer are we going to wait, Steven?" Jackie whined, stopping beside him. She leaned back against the fence, crossing her ankles. "Donna may not even leave tonight."

"Then we'll start phase one, and leave it at that." Steven snapped. "Quit complaining. You've complained the entire time."

"I am not complaining." Jackie said petulantly. She pushed off of the fence, resuming her pacing. "I just don't want to be here _doing nothing_."

"I thought you wanted to expend payback on Donna." Steven said. His tone was rough with agitation and he tightened his arms hold across his chest.

Jackie groaned, her head falling back on her shoulders. "I do. I just didn't realize it would take so long."

"You know what your problem is?" Steven asked rhetorically. He scuffed the heel of his boot on the asphalt. "You're too impatient. You want everything right now. You're not willing to put in some time to make things happen. Or just wait."

"Whatever." Jackie spat.

Jackie couldn't help but think that maybe Steven was alluding to more than just the fact that she was being impatient here in this moment. She had been so good to not bring up marriage, or the future. But he was right. She did want what she wanted, when she wanted it, and nothing else was good enough. Almost subconsciously, Jackie's right pointer finger and thumb rubbed down her bare left ring finger. She caught herself, but not before Steven saw.

Jackie cleared her throat, her hands separating like a fire had sprung up on her skin. She clapped her palms against her thighs, the sting reverberating down to her fingertips. "Ok, so what do we do if Donna doesn't leave tonight?"

Steven had gone full Zen. His eyes were carefully blank, quickly meeting hers and then flitting away; his body was tense and shielded. "Then we'll do the car thing and wait till tomorrow for the rest."

"Right." Jackie said, coming to stand beside him again. She crossed her arms, staring up at Donna's bedroom window. Her head nodded enthusiastically, her face drawn into a look of solemnity. "A potato in her muffler."

"Exhaust pipe."

"Same thing."

"No. Not at all."

"Whatever, Steven."

"And the seat thing."

Jackie nodded again, her eyebrows furrowing. "Right, and the seat thing."

"You sure she said she was working tonight?" Steven asked after a minute's silence.

"That's what she said." Jackie responded. Grabbing Steven's wrist, she read the time on his watch, dropping his hand as if scalded. "She said it was some kind of promotional thing for Wozniak's Butcher Shop."

Steven and Jackie grew silent, the both of them staring up at the window. Darkness was starting to fall. The Henderson's back porch light turned on, brightening the alley slightly, and Jackie and Steven moved out of the light. A dog's bark carried on the breeze. When Mr. Forman pulled the Toyota into the garage, the headlights blazing out of the small back door, Jackie and Steven darted further down the alley, hiding at the far edge of the Pinciotti's lot.

Bugs buzzed and chirped. Frogs began to croak. Darkness fell completely. Jackie's feet were beginning to ache, and she bent her knees in an attempt to keep her toes from falling asleep. A chill had set into the wind when, finally, the light in Donna's bedroom turned out. Steven moved for the first time in what felt like hours, starting forward. Startled, Jackie followed, jogging to catch up and stopping at his elbow.

They paused at the hedges, at a break in the thick foliage, peering into the backyard. Jackie's breath was loud in her ears, and she snapped her mouth shut, attempting to breath only from her nose.

After a second eternity, Donna exited the house, locking the door behind her. She cut across the grass, getting into her small red car. The headlights were bright in their eyes, and Steven and Jackie watched with bated breath as Donna reversed from the drive. Donna turned right from the driveway, disappearing up Marie Street towards downtown Point Place and the radio station.

"Ready?" Steven's breath was hot on her cheek.

Jackie jumped, darting across the alley to grab her K-Mart bag. She shook it in the air, beaming. "Let's do this."

"Alright, so first things first." Steven said, his finger pointed at his chest. "I'm in charge."

Jackie nodded, her ponytail smacking her cheeks in her enthusiasm. "Ok, yeah, whatever."

"You listen to me." Steven continued. "If I say we back out, we back out."

Rolling her eyes, Jackie snapped her fingers. "Ok, ok, let's go."

Steven bit his lip. "Pumpkin this is a serious thing. We can't get caught. For once in your life you gotta just listen to me."

"I understand, Steven." Jackie hissed. "Now are we going to do this, or are we going to argue about it until Donna comes home?"

"Alright." Steven said. He turned back to the house, scanning it for activity. "Let's go."

They dashed across the lawn, crouched low. Steven reached into his pocket, ready to pull out his lock pick, but Jackie stopped him, producing a silver key from her pocket. Steven questioned how she had gotten it, taking the key from her grasp. Jackie smiled. "I never gave it back when I moved out."

"Nice." Steven said, unlocking the door and slipping in the utility room. Jackie closed the door behind her softly, her heart pounding in her chest. Steven's voice startled her. He pointed to the door with his chin, voice hushed. "Lock the door. Gotta cover our tracks."

Jackie turned the lock on the knob, her sweaty fingers clutching her bag of goodies. She matched Steven's tone. "You think Bob is still here?"

"Nah, pretty sure he's gone." Steven said his voice hushed still. "I heard him tellin' Red he had a date. Lady that works the meat counter at the A & P. The one with the hairy mole, but according to Bob, the great keister."

"Gross." Jackie made a face, following Steven out of the utility room into a small hall. They passed the door to the garage, and edged into the kitchen, darting across the yellow linoleum and into the living room.

Steven led the way up the stairs. He paused just before the top of the stairs, holding a hand out to Jackie to stop her.

"What?" Jackie whispered.

"Thought I heard something." Steven replied, leading the way the rest of the way to Donna's room.

Jackie rolled her eyes, stomping up the remaining stairs. "You're being paranoid, Steven."

"Better safe than sorry." Steven said matter-of-factly, opening the door to Donna's bedroom. They both paused on the carpet. Donna's room felt taboo, the air heavy. Steven pointed towards the en suite. "Alright. You start on the shampoo. I'll change out the lightbulbs."

"Perfect!" Jackie beamed, clapping excitedly. She clucked her tongue at Steven when he turned to shush her. "Oh, my god, no one is here, Steven! No one will hear!

"What if Donna forgot something? Or what if Bob's date goes bad and he comes home early?" Steven shot back. He gestured for the shopping bag, digging in it for the light bulbs they had bought at K-Mart.

Jackie's head fell back on her shoulders. "Ok, whatever, you are not going to take this away from me."

Steven started to reply, but Jackie wasn't listening. She darted into the en suite and grabbed the box of hair dye from the shopping bag. The shower curtain was already shoved back into the corner, and Jackie settled onto the lip of the tub, reaching for Donna's shampoo. She popped the cap, upending the bottle to squeeze some of the contents into the drain. Jackie pulled the water handle, rinsing the shampoo evidence down the drain. Sun-Kissed Raspberries filled the room.

With shaking fingers, Jackie opened the box of hair dye. She quickly read through the instructions, her eyes darting over each line. The scent of peroxide and ammonia filled the air, covering over the scent of raspberry, and burning Jackie's eyes. She poured the mixing agent in with the color, screwing the bottle closed and shaking the bottle vigorously to mix it. Unscrewing the cap of Donna's shampoo bottle, Jackie set it gingerly on the edge of the tub. Her fingers were sweaty, her hands shaking. Jackie cracked her neck, taking a deep steadying breath.

Jackie swore she heard the shampoo hiss as the dye was poured over top of it, but she couldn't be sure. She jingled the dye bottle over the shampoo, waiting till every drop had mixed.

"Are you almost finished?" Steven asked, coming into the bathroom. His nose scrunched. "Man, Jackie, she's gonna smell this and know."

"Open the window." Jackie nodded her head at the small window over the toilet, screwing the shampoo lid back on. "She'll just think she left it open again. She does it all the time."

"Seriously?" Steven asked, popping the locks and pushing open the window. "So that's how Fez gets in here so easily."

"Ugh, don't remind me." Jackie said, gathering her trash and stuffing it back in the K-Mart sack. She leaned across the tub, setting the bottle of shampoo back in its corner. "Do you know how many times Fez caught me getting into the shower before I thought to check for him?"

A weird look came over Steven's face. "Fez has seen you naked?"

Jackie bit her tongue, tying a knock at the top of the sack. "Ok, I'm all done here."

"No, no," Steven said, extending a hand to stop her from leaving the room. "Answer the question, Jackie. Fez has seen you naked?"

"I don't think he saw that much." Jackie said softly, not meeting his eye.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Steven asked, growing upset.

Jackie crossed her arms, eyebrow arching high on her smooth forehead. "Why didn't you tell me that you'd seen my mother topless?"

Steven's face grew slack and he stared down at her. "Ok. Fair enough."

"Mm hmm, that's what I thought." Jackie said, following Steven from the bathroom. She blinked hard. The room had grown dimmer. It was hard to focus on the posters across the room, and harder still to read the spines of the books lining Donna's shelves. Jackie squinted. "You don't think it's too dim?"

"I don't think Donna will notice for a bit." Steven said. He pondered this and shrugged. "Meh, maybe she will. Still, she'll wonder how it happened. She'll think, I don't know, Fez was in here again, or something, dimming the lights so he can spy on her easier." He checked the watch on his wrist. "Come on, let's get out of here."

They drifted through the house like ghosts, exiting through the back door and darting across the yard. Jackie couldn't help but giggle, her limbs tingling. She felt like she could run a mile, or complete her cheer routine without breaking a sweat. Jackie handed over the bag of trash when Steven asked, watched him dart down the alley and toss the bag into one of the Henderson's metal cans. He was smiling at her as he jogged back across the alley.

Heart beating like a drum under her breast, Jackie grabbed onto Steven as he neared her, pulling his body flush to hers. Overcome, she pressed her mouth to his, her tongue sweeping into his mouth. She kissed him deeply and thoroughly, pulling away to gasp for breath.

"God, Steven, you are so hot."

Scooping her up behind the knees, Steven smirked, kissing her again. "No, you are."

"No, you." Jackie purred, tightening her thighs around his hips. Her thumbs swept up his cheeks, her fingers tangling in his hair. She giggled again, yelping in surprise as Steven pressed her against the garage wall, kissing her once more.

-x-

Jackie's freshly painted fingernails dug into her biceps. She glanced at Steven out of the corner of her eye. Her boyfriend was deceptively collected. Jackie tried to draw upon her own Zen and failed. Chewing on her lip, Jackie turned her attention to the exterior door, her foot jiggling in anticipation.

Donna hadn't been seen for a full day.

Fez nibbled on the end of a Popsicle, rubbing the cool edge against his mouth. He stared blankly at the TV, his knee bouncing together and apart.

"What is this crap?" Steven's voice boomed, startling Jackie. "A marathon of wedding shit?"

"It's the Newlywed Game!" Jackie replied, temporarily forgetting Donna. She scowled at her boyfriend, and then away, resting her temple on her fist. "You can't _not_ like the Newlywed Game."

"Uh, yeah, you can." Eric mumbled next to her.

"Jackie, this game is so perverse." Steven argued, pointing to the small black and white screen. "More than half of the couples on this show have gotten into a fight that they've lost. They've married total strangers, why would anyone want to watch a game about that?"

Jackie rolled her eyes. "That's not even the point, Steven."

"You just like it because it's about marriage." Fez said, turning his attention to Jackie. He nibbled off more of his Popsicle. "Girls always like things about marriage."

"Donna didn't." Eric muttered.

"No," Jackie turned to Eric, holding up her pointer finger, " _you_ didn't like things about marriage."

"What's so great about marriage anyway?" Steven asked. Immediately he clamed up, scowling at the TV, as Jackie turned her incredulous stare on him.

"Uh, oh." Eric laughed, snickering openly. "It's the beginning of the end."

"Shut it, Forman."

"Steven." Jackie said.

"Someone is in for it." Fez said. He finished his Popsicle, chewing on the wooden stick.

"How can you say that?" Jackie continued, ignoring Eric and Fez.

Steven pushed his sunglasses up his forehead, rubbing at his eyes. "Jackie, can we talk about this later?"

"No." Jackie said.

"Jackie."

"No, Steven, I can't believe-"

Jackie was cut off by the door opening. She whipped around, mouth rounded.

"Hey, guys." Kelso closed the door. "What's up?"

"Oh, my God." Jackie whispered, holding her face in her hands. Her heart pounded raucously. She wasn't sure if she was happy that it was only Michael, and not Donna.

"Not much, just watching TV." Fez said. He pointed his wooden Popsicle stick at Jackie and Steven. "These two were about to fight."

"Ah, man." Kelso squeezed onto the couch between Jackie and Eric. He patted Jackie's knee. "Can you guys not? I really need to vent to someone."

"What's up, Kelso?" Steven asked, pointedly ignoring Jackie's glower.

Kelso's head fell, resting on the back of the couch. He pressed the tips of his fingers into his eyeballs. "It's Brooke."

"What about Brooke?" Eric said. "She mad at you again?"

"I don't even know what to do anymore." Kelso said softly. He stared up at the ceiling.

"Talk to us, Michael." Jackie said, turning her body towards her ex-boyfriend. "Did you set fire to her house? Again?"

"No." Michael whined.

"Kelso, either tell us, or get the hell out." Steven growled, kicking his feet up onto the ottoman.

"Brooke and her mother have ganged up on me." Michael said. He pushed up the couch, sitting straight. "Carolyn thinks that I'm going to fail as a cop. And Brooke never takes up for me. It's like she doesn't believe in me. And whenever I ask her, she just changes the subject or acts like she didn't hear."

"I don't understand." Jackie said. "Why does it matter what Brooke thinks of you? Aren't you still dating Angie?"

"Yeah, but Brooke is the mother of my child. It matters." Michael stated, crossing his arms. "Who's going to tell my daughter what an amazing person her father is, if not Brooke?"

Jackie quirked a brow. Pushing a hand through her hair, Jackie shrugged at Michael. "I don't know, Michael."

Besides, Jackie had better things to worry about other than Michael's insecurity with the mother of his child. Like Donna, for example, who still was MIA. Tension settled into her belly again. She didn't even complain when Steven stood, changing the station on the TV. Patience had never been her forte, and waiting for Donna to maybe make an appearance was killing her slowly inside.

Had the dye taken? What color had it turned out to be? Jackie needed to know.

Eric patted Michael's shoulder. "Look, Kelso, you are top donkey. The. Top. Donkey. Betsy will always have a reason to be proud of you."

"Are we still talking about this?" Jackie asked shrilly. She pushed off the couch, stalking over to the door.

"Where are you going?" Steven called after her.

Jackie shoved her arms into her jacket, grabbing her purse. "I can't sit in here any longer. I have to get out or I'll lose my damn mind!"

"Uhm, news flash." Eric said. "I think you already have. Isn't the first sign repeating the same thing over and over knowing that it's not good for you? For example, your creepy and unnatural relationship?"

"Forman, would you mind your own business?" Steven snarled.

Jackie wrenched open the door, her mouth open to lobby her retort. She jumped back, startled by Donna, lingering on the stairs.

Donna's eyes widened and her hand rose to her head, pressing the beanie closer over her hair. She narrowed her eyes at Jackie, the sclera red from crying. "Jackie."

"Oh, my God, Donna." Jackie said her dark eyes fixated on the beanie.

Steven's feet dropped from the mushroom ottoman, but otherwise he remained still. Eric, Fez and Michael all grew silent, pivoting their bodies to see what Jackie was staring at.

"Is that Donna?" Fez asked. "Why is she hiding out on the stairs?"

"Donna?" Eric called, his confusion apparent on his face and echoing the feelings of his friends.

"Did you do it?" Donna asked, her eyes set on Jackie. "Did you?"

"I-" Jackie stepped back. Donna stepped into the basement. "I don't know what you're talking about, Donna."

"Really?" Donna asked sharply. "'Cause this screams petty-cheerleader-payback."

"What does?" Jackie asked, crossing her arms. "I'm a woman of many talents, Pinciotti, but mind reading isn't one of them."

"What's up with the beanie?" Fez interjected.

"Donna, where have you been?" Eric asked, standing from the couch. He stuffed his hands in his pockets. "Look, I need to talk to you about something."

"I have nothing to say to you." Donna rounded on Eric. She tugged the beanie off her head, wet eyes fixing on Jackie. "Why would you do this?"

Donna's blonde locks were emerald. Jolly Green Giant emerald. More emerald than the Emerald City. Jackie's mouth fell open.

"Jackie?" Eric asked softly, looking between Jackie and Donna. His hand rose to touch Donna's hair, then paused and fell to his side. The bruise healing over Eric's nose almost perfectly matched Donna's new hair. Eric twisted towards Jackie. "You did this?"

Jaws snapping shut, Jackie cocked her head, staring back at Donna unblinking. She noticed Steven stand from the corner of her eye, moving closer. "So what if I did?"

Donna began to cry in earnest, her free hand threading into her hair. "I don't understand what I did to deserve this?"

"You don't understand?" Jackie asked, smiling dubiously. "You can't think of a single reason why I would be mad at you?"

Eric took a step closer. Steven appeared at Jackie's side.

Fez slid onto the couch beside Michael, the pair of them gawking wide-eyed.

Tears coated Donna's cheeks, the skin shiny wet and rosy. "I kissed Steven _one time_ when you weren't even together and you're acting like I killed your cat."

"You _used_ my boyfriend."

"He wasn't your boyfriend."

"See, you always do crap like this, Donna, this thing where you act like you're better than all of us and rules no longer apply to you." Jackie said. Donna's eyes darted around to Eric and Steven and back to Jackie.

"I do not." Donna scoffed, her cheeks glistening.

Jackie felt tight as a bowstring. "You're doing it right now. Donna there are consequences to your actions."

"Look, I think we're being a little harsh here-" Eric's hand rose, palms turned outward.

"Oh, shut it, Lollipop." Jackie snapped. Eric scowled, but closed his lips.

The two girls stared one another down. Donna cried, her red, blotchy skin clashing terribly with her locks. Jackie crossed her arms, molding her face to hide her growing guilt. She refused to feel guilty. What she had done to Donna's hair was temporary. Donna's hair would grow and the color would fade. What Donna had done to the group though, that was something that would linger.

"I don't understand…" Michael said, breaking the silence. "Why is Jackie mad at Donna?"

Fez licked his lips, leaning close. "Donna kissed Hyde."

"What?" Michael screeched. "No way. That's who Donna cheated with? _Hyde_? Where was I?!"

"Yeah, now shut up Kelso!" Eric said crossly.

"Jackie." Donna said, lip quivering.

"Too little, too late, Donna." Jackie said. Her voice cracked and she swallowed thickly to press down the guilt that threatened to rocket up her throat.

Donna spun on her heel, tearing out of the basement. Jackie watched Donna run up the stairs, reaching forward to slam the door closed. Eric propped his hands on his hips, stalking away.

Jackie turned to Steven, pressing herself against him. She felt the burn of tears at the backs of her eyes. Steven's arms wrapped about her shoulders. He sighed, his lips pressing to the crown of her head.

"You ok?" Steven whispered.

Jackie turned her face away so she couldn't see Fez and Michael stare. "I don't know, Steven. I don't know how I feel."

"It's alright, Doll." Steven said, resting his cheek against her temple. "It's gonna be alright."

Turning her face back, Jackie clung to Steven's waist tighter, her eyes meeting Eric's across the basement. Green eyes burned into brown, and Jackie felt a shiver run down her spine. Eric's lips hardened. He glared at Jackie, contempt filling the planes of his body. The guilt that had started at Donna's arrival now rose to near epic proportions. Her arms locked around Steven, fearful that she had only added fuel to the flames of Eric's wrath.

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 **A/N: Hi there. I couldn't figure out exactly how to end this chapter. I knew that I wanted to happen. And it happened, but I just couldn't stop feeling like I needed to say more. Bleh. I'm tired of seeing this open on my computer, so here it is. We are almost to the end people! Please review!**


	23. Chapter 23

**The Seeker**

Jackie replaced the handset on its cradle. She wrung her fingers together, staring down at the pink plastic as if it held the answers to all of her problems. Her current problems, that is. They seemed to be piling up higher and higher, burying her under their bulk.

Standing, Jackie began to pace the carpet before her bed. She chewed her tongue, scowling around at her possessions. Flower pillows, white furniture with gold trim… Little girl. She had little girl furniture. Not that of a woman. Well, an almost woman. Pink pillar candles. Nancy Drew books. Magazine clippings of pop singers pasted to the wall.

Steven wouldn't think it was _cool_ , to decorate an apartment with furniture that was so against his image. That was, if Steven even agreed to come with her.

"Oh, God." Jackie fell onto the little pouf before her vanity. She propped her elbows on the white surface, her forehead resting in her palms.

Would Steven come with her? It wasn't like it was all that far to Chicago… He could commute. Or maybe WB would have another store he could manage. If WB had managed to find a place for that whore Angie at corporate, Jackie was sure WB could find a place for Steven. There was a Groove's in Chicago right?

Jackie shoved back from the vanity, racing across the carpet to stare out her bedroom window. The El Camino had yet to make an appearance. Ever since Jackie and Steven had messed with Donna Steven had been sleeping at Jackie's home.

Eric was irate. Donna was holed up in her room. Michael was not only upset that Donna hadn't chosen him to kiss, but more so that Brooke had lost seemingly all hope in him. Fez was moping in his and Kelso's new apartment, saddened that Michael might soon be leaving him. The two had become more and more reliant upon one another, leaving Jackie curious as to the current nature of their friendship.

Everyone had their own problems. And Jackie had no one to talk to.

Pushing aside the white lace curtains over her window, Jackie's eyes swept the street. She angled her head, her forehead and cheek pressed against the cool glass, willing for Steven to appear.

They had so much to talk about.

Life was spiraling out of control.

Dropping the curtain, Jackie began to pace once more, her thumbnail rising to sweep her lower lip. She glanced at the pink rotary phone, and away, her stomach churning. She had to think of a good way to tell Steven. A way that wouldn't piss him off or close him down.

"Dammit." Jackie whispered. She paused at the window, pushing aside the curtain. Her heart leapt in her chest; the El Camino was pulling to the curb. She pivoted on her toes, racing across the carpet and wrenching open her bedroom door. She pounded down the stairs, and across the foyer, opening the front door just as Steven crossed the gate into the drive.

Steven's head was down, one of his hands in his jeans pocket. His boots crunched over the gravel, and he gave Jackie a half smile when he noticed her, his pace quickening.

"Hey, Pumpkin." Steven said as he neared, jogging up the three stairs leading up the porch. His smile faltered slightly, but he didn't comment on what he saw on her face, instead kissing her cheek. "Pam here?"

"No, her and Bernard are at the Wisconsin Dells." Jackie said, leading him into the foyer. "We're alone."

"Cool." Steven paused in the foyer. Jackie locked the front door, skirting around Steven and leading the way to the kitchen.

"Martina is back," Jackie said. She held the door open for Steven. "She said she would leave food in the fridge. Are you hungry?"

"Starving." Steven pulled out a barstool in front of the island, taking a seat. "Mrs. Forman thinks I've been missing dinner cause of work. I'm not gonna to tell her otherwise."

"Eric still giving you the cold shoulder?" Jackie asked, pulling a casserole dish from the fridge. She set it on the counter, turning to pull two plates from the cabinet.

"Cold shoulder would be better than what Eric's doing." Steven rubbed his hands down his face. "I haven't seen him longer than a couple minutes and even then he gives me the feeling he's plotting my death. Did I tell you that he has systematically hiding my possessions? I can't find any of my Zeppelin and I think he may have gone through the notes you wrote me. They're folded all wrong now." Steven sighed, crossing his arms on the islands surface. "It's weird. What is he going to discover from a bunch of gossip notes about cheerleading and who's dating who."

"I don't get it." Jackie said, spooning two helpings of casserole onto their plates. "Donna's the one who did all this. Not us."

"Yeah, well, Forman was blaming me, but now he's blaming you for making Donna go M.I.A." Steven tongued his cheek, watching Jackie place a plate in the microwave on the counter.

Jackie scoffed. She turned her back to Steven, grateful for the excuse of watching the food reheat to keep her emotions from showing. All she had done was put hair dye in Donna's shampoo. If Donna could forgive Eric for killing her cat, Jackie was pretty positive Donna would forgive her for temporarily changing her hair color. "I'm sure the green has faded by now."

"Maybe," Steven said. "Then again, the only one of us who's seen Donna is Fez and he was too upset over Kelso maybe leaving to remember what color Donna's hair is."

The microwave beeped. Jackie exchanged plates, setting the warmed one in front of Steven. She felt her eyebrows draw together, considering the question that had formulated in her mind. "Michael still doesn't know if he got the job in Chicago?"

"Guess not." Steven said, taking the fork Jackie offered him and digging into the casserole. He took a large bite, chewing thoughtfully.

Jackie's right eye twitched. She turned away, staring blankly at the microwave. It would be so easy to tell Steven… She had the perfect set up to it.

 _Say, Steven, speaking of jobs in Chicago, you'll never guess what news I got today._

"Would you ever want to live in Chicago?" Jackie asked, stopping the microwave before it beeped. She avoided meeting Steven's eye, taking a seat beside him at the island.

Steven shrugged, swallowing. "I don't know. Maybe. There's tons of stuff to do. The music scene is definitely better."

Jackie pushed food around her plate. "Doesn't Groove's have a store in Chicago?"

"Nah, I don't think so." Steven's fork scraped against his plate.

"Oh." Jackie took a bite. She chewed for longer than necessary, working the casserole between her molars.

"Why do you ask?" Steven questioned.

It was Jackie's turn to shrug. "I was just curious. You said the music scene was better, it would make sense to have a store located there."

Steven licked his fork clean, considering this. "Yeah, true."

"Plus, I'm sure it'd be easier to get musicians to show up to a store in Chicago than it would be to get them here to Point Place." Jackie continued. She peered at Steven from the corner of her eye. "Do you think WB would be open to opening a new location?"

"Perhaps," Steven said, standing. He rinsed his plate in the sink and put the casserole back in the fridge. Jackie heard the unmistakable hiss of a beer being opened and silently rejoiced. Steven was more open when he had a couple beers in him.

Jackie forced herself to finish her plate. Her stomach continued it's gymnastics routine and Jackie ignored the feeling of nausea it produced.

"What did you want to do?" Steven asked, setting the bottle of beer onto the island.

"Watch TV?" Jackie suggested.

"Cool, whatever." Steven shrugged.

Steven followed Jackie out into the living room, settling onto the couch beside her. He curled an arm around her shoulders, his fingertips smoothing circles over her deltoid. Jackie flipped through the channels, settling on a movie that looked like it had only just started.

They watched in silence, curled together on the sofa.

Jackie couldn't focus on the movie. She was tormented. When to talk to Steven? What to even say? Every way she thought about it, she knew would only serve to upset him. If she told him that she had already accepted the job he would think that she was abandoning him. If she told him that she needed to know what was going to happen to them before she gave an answer, Steven would feel trapped.

She had torn her thumbnail to shreds.

First Donna. Jackie missed her friend. She felt lost without the Amazon's advice and betrayed by Donna's use of Steven. Now that she had extended some form of payback Jackie wasn't sure of the next step. Did she apologize to Donna? Did Donna come and apologize to her? Would they spend the rest of their lives never speaking again? For all the things that Donna had done to Jackie, talking behind her back and laughing at Jackie's expense to the boys, she was at a loss. Donna had always been there for Jackie, and Jackie had tried her best to be there for her.

Jackie could really use Donna's advice on this latest development. Pam wouldn't be any help. She had been traveling with Bernard, only stopping at home for a day or two at a time. Besides, Pam would only encourage Jackie to marry for money, not for love, and to make choices that led to a mans support. Pam wouldn't support Jackie's dream, not truly.

And then Steven… Jackie was afraid of losing him. She felt trapped herself. Between wanting the life she had always dreamed of and the love she felt from Steven, Jackie didn't know which to choose. Either way she felt like she was standing at the edge of a great chasm and whichever choice would send her plunging into its depths.

The movie had ended before Jackie had decided. She fended off Steven's attempt to draw her into a kiss, too distracted by her own thoughts. Steven didn't question her, but she felt him watching her closely.

Jackie moved in a fog. She didn't respond to his touches in the shower, and jumped in surprise when he kissed her neck, his body warm against her back. She jerked away as if scalded, turning off the stream of water.

"Ok, what's up with you?" Steven asked. He took a towel from the towel bar, handing it to her.

Jackie wrapped the fluffy towel about her middle, securing the end in the edge of the towel. She gathered her hair in her hands, squeezing out the excess water. "I don't know what you mean."

"You're actin' funny," Steven said. He stepped out onto the bathmat. "You do something? You didn't donate my clothes to the Goodwill again, did you?"

"No." Jackie stepped out of the shower. She began to finger comb her hair.

"Then what?" Steven asked. "What's up with you?"

"Nothing, I just have a lot on my mind." Jackie blurted.

Steven's bare hips leaned back against the counter. He rubbed his towel over his hair, the curls frizzing under his ministrations. Warily, he looked at her, the towel wrapped across his shoulders. "You wanna talk about it?"

"No, I'm fine." Jackie said, flashing him with a terse smile.

"Liar." Steven accused. He pushed off the counter, draping his damp towel over the towel bar. "Whatever," he mumbled as he exited the bathroom.

Jackie's eyes met her reflection. She sighed, exhaustion rolling over her body. _Whatever's right_. Jackie pulled her toothpaste out of the drawer, squeezing a dollop onto her toothbrush. She scrubbed at her teeth, scowling at her reflection.

 _Whatever._

-x-

Steven left early the next morning for the record store. He enjoyed work much more now that his sister had been transferred to Milwaukee. No one was there to complain that it smelt like marijuana. Kelso wasn't banging his sister in the office within hearing distance. The music was never changed to girly crap and customers were actually given decent advice on artists.

The El Camino rumbled as he started the engine. He pulled away from the curb, sparing one last glance for the Burkhart's house.

Jackie was acting weird. More than weird, Jackie was acting straight up mental. She had spent the night with her back turned to him, her body stiff. Steven knew she hadn't slept; her soft snores had never graced his ears. This morning as he got dressed he had caught her staring. She gave him a closed mouthed kiss, but didn't draw him in closer.

It was enough to freak him out worse than when he had first seen _The Omen_. He wished he knew what to say or do.

"Whatever." Steven mumbled for what felt like the hundredth time. He parked behind Groove's, fumbling with his keys.

Steven quickly became too busy to worry about Jackie. He opened the store, and spent the next several hours managing the new merchandise and inventory. He caught a punk-ass, pimply-faced dweeb trying to steal _Tommy_ , and almost let him go. At least the kid was lifting something decent. But Steven had gotten much more satisfaction out of frog marching the kid out of the store, shoving him down the sidewalk with the threat of what would happen if he caught him in his store again.

A break in customers happened around noon, and Steven spent the respite on a stool behind the counter pricing new vinyl. He set _Tommy_ on the store's turntable, humming along to the music.

 _I've looked under chairs_

 _I've looked under tables_

 _I've tried to find the key_

 _To fifty million fables_

Steven greeted a pair of new customers with a nod of his chin, pointing them in the direction of Aerosmith. He changed the price on his pricing gun and continued sorting through the stack of vinyl before him, consulting the pricing sheet corporate had sent with the new batch.

The front bell rung again, but Steven didn't look up this time. He called out a greeting, spinning on his stool to set a stack of priced vinyl behind him.

 _The call me The Seeker_

 _I've been searching low and high_

 _I won't get to get what I'm after_

 _Till the day I die_

"Hey, man, do you have anything new from The Ramones?"

Steven spun back on his stool. He began to respond and was struck into silence by the girl settling into the listening pit.

Clearing his throat, Steven stood from his stool. "Yeah, over here."

He showed the customer the new Ramones album, all the while distracted. Steven wandered around the back of the listening pit. He paused before a row of vinyl, pawing through them without seeing; his eyes were glued to the back of the girl's head.

She looked so familiar. She _was_ familiar. But from where? She wasn't dressed any different than Donna would dress… blue jeans with a peasant top and boots. Hell, she was even tall like Donna. But no one had seen Donna for days, and this was the last place Steven imagined Donna to make her grand appearance. Least of all with hair dyed a jet black.

 _People tend to hate me_

' _Cause I never smile_

 _As I ransack their homes_

 _They want to shake my hand_

Wait… Steven's eyes narrowed. Had he slept with this chick before? He _had_ slept with a lot of chicks. It was possible that one would wander into his store. Hell, just last week he had had run ins with five different girls he had slept with in the past. After each awkward encounter Steven had been left feeling grateful that period of his life was over, at least for the time being.

Steven squeezed his eyes shut, shaking his head. What did it matter who she was? He had better shit to worry about.

Like Jackie.

Steven returned to his work, pricing merchandise. He Windexed the front of the glass counter and dusted the shelving of cassette tapes behind the counter. The Who spun to an end. An hour passed, two. Steven eyed the girl, prone in the listening pit. She had brought a book, but he couldn't tell if she actually read it, or had brought it for something to hold.

Her presence was beginning to unnerve him. At hour three of her company Steven disappeared into the office for a quick pull on a joint, anything to settle his nerves. But if anything the THC only served to rattle him more. He settled into his office chair, his back to the door. His heart was pounding in his chest. Was she from corporate? Had Angie spilled the beans on just _what_ Steven did in his spare time? Or was she from the government, biding her time before she slammed him with some petty bullshit charge? Steven's heart stuttered a beat- like the joint currently clutched in his fingers.

Gray smoke curled in the air. Steven took several deep, steadying breaths.

"None to share?"

Steven yelped in surprise. He spun around, dropping the lit joint into an ashtray on the desk.

"Whoa, sorry." Donna held up her hands. She stepped back from the open office door, blue eyes wide. "I'm sorry, Steven."

"Goddammit." Steven cursed, his head dropping forward. "Shit you scared me."

"Well, why are you smoking pot when you have a customer in the store?" Donna retorted. She leaned against the doorjamb, clasping her hands in front of her lap. "I've been sitting out there for a couple hours now… Were you not going to say hello?"

Steven looked up, mouth slightly agape. Donna squirmed under his scrutiny, a hand coming up to push a lock of black hair behind her ear. Her skin was pasty white, and her eyes sapphires.

"You dyed your hair." Steven stated stupidly. No wonder. She was familiar; she was freakin' Donna.

Donna massaged her lips together, her arms crossing over her chest. "Is it too dark?"

"Its…" Steven's brow furrowed. It reminded him of the color Jackie pointed out on other girls stating that _that's the color girls try to get to get_ my _color._ "It's just different is all."

"Yeah." Donna nodded. "It took me a while to get used to it too."

"Green started to fade?" Steven heard himself ask.

Terse silence filled the office. Donna stared up at Steven from through her lashes.

"Sorry." Steven muttered, unsure why he was apologizing. He pushed out of his seat. "Look, I gotta get back out there."

"Yeah, alright, I understand." Donna didn't budge.

"Mind if I pass?" Steven pointed out to the store.

"I just wanted to say that I'm sorry, Steven." Donna began.

"You're sorry?" Steven repeated.

"Yeah." Donna nodded. She let her arms uncross. "Steven, look, I did a crappy thing. To you, and to Jackie. And I'm sorry."

"Yeah, alright." Steven said, feeling awkward. He scratched the side of his nose, shuffling his feet.

"Jackie must hate me." Donna continued. "I don't blame her for what she did. I probably would have done the same if she'd used Eric like I did-" She cut herself off. Quirking a brow she continued. "Well, like I used you."

"Alright." Steven said.

"Nothing more to say?" Donna asked, smirking.

Steven blinked, his lids feeling like they weighed a hundred pounds. "Whatever."

"Alright, you stoner, whatever." Donna turned away, back into the store. She grabbed her book off of the couch, meeting Steven at the counter. Donna leaned her elbows on the counter, exposing a line of cleavage. "Do you think that if I were to talk to Jackie she'd listen?"

Steven pushed his butt up onto the stool, noting the intense effort it seemed to exact from him. Donna talk to Jackie? It had the potential of bringing Jackie out of her funk. It also had the potential of detonating like a nuclear bomb and destroying the whole of Point Place. Steven rubbed at his face, cupping his cheek. "Uhm. Yeah, I don't know, maybe?"

Donna nodded. She drummed the fingers of her free hand on the counter. "Alright then. Well, I'll see you later."

Steven watched her leave. He propped his hands on the counter, his toes flexing in his boots. Confusion ran rampant through his drug-induced haze.

 _What the actual fuck?_

-x-

Jackie didn't know how to react. Anger? Confusion? Repulsion?

"Hey, Jackie." Donna said, this time softer. She shifted her weight from foot to foot.

"Your hair." Jackie stated.

"Yeah." Donna fingered the ends, briefly looking down. "It's not green anymore."

Jackie's fingers tightened on the door. She exhaled slowly. "What are you doing here?"

"I just came by to tell you I'm sorry." Donna said. The words sounded rehearsed to Jackie's ears. Like they'd been practiced in front of the mirror. It was how Jackie always felt whenever Michael had cheated and come back on his knees.

"What?" Jackie scoffed.

"Can I come in?" Donna asked.

Thrown, Jackie took a step back. She stared, unblinking, at Donna, and then gestured her inside.

They sat across from one another in the living room. Jackie's hands gripped her knees. Donna chewed her lips, tapping her fingers on her thighs.

"I get what I did was wrong."

"Oh, really? Why the sudden change of heart?"

"I've had a lot of time to think."

"And you've been visited by your guardian angel?" Jackie laughed. "Did he also sing you a song and perform a dance routine?"

"I've had a lot of time to think about what all I did wrong, and everything that has happened lately." Donna leaned forward, her hands sweeping down her shins. "Look, I took the cowards way out. And I'm sorry. I should have been a better friend."

Jackie waited.

Donna cleared her throat, leaning back on the couch. "Jackie, I did the wrong thing. But I think you're being a bit dramatic about all of this. You and Steven weren't even together."

"Steven?" Jackie asked.

"Yeah, Steven." Donna's eyes rounded. "That is his name."

"Not that you've ever used it." Jackie spat back.

Taking a deep breath, Donna spoke again. "Do you forgive me?"

"Why should I?" Jackie asked. "Because you've been such a great friend lately?"

Donna's fingers toyed with a lock of hair. "Jackie… Look, I'm really sorry. Things haven't been all rainbows and sunshine in my life either. You're not the only one going through some shit."

"You could've reached out." Jackie said.

"Yeah, and would you have listened?" Donna asked, her tone hard. "You've been so busy obsessing over how _terrible_ of a boyfriend you have that you haven't had a lot of time to be a good friend to me either."

"Oh, whatever, no I haven't!" Jackie argued, though as the words spilled from her lips, she knew what Donna said was partly true.

For months now she had obsessed over Steven. Would they make it? Would he commit? And then when it seemed like he wouldn't, she had broken up with him, and promptly fell into a spell of obsessing over whether or not they would make up. Jackie frowned, looking down at the white carpet.

Both girls avoided the others eye. Neither would concede defeat to the other. Donna's apology hung in the air between them, and Jackie's guilt coated it. How had they fallen so far apart?

"Want a drink?" Jackie asked, breaking the silence. She stood and crossed to the wet bar.

"A drink?" Donna asked, following Jackie's movement across the room. "You're not much of a drinker."

"Special occasion." Jackie muttered, crouching before the cabinet of liquor. "Ok, we've got tequila, we've got vodka and we've got wine."

"I don't care." Donna said, standing and coming to the bar. "Tequila Sunrises?"

"You got it." Jackie said, pulling the bottle of Jose Cuervo from the cabinet. She fixed them both tall glasses, sliding Donna's across the bar towards the former redhead. Jackie stared at Donna's hair, taking a long gulp. "I can't believe you chose to dye your hair _black_ of all colors."

Donna winced as she swallowed, swilling her drink. "Yeah, well, someone else chose the previous color it was, so I was left with limited options."

Jackie cocked her head. "If you tanned a little bit I think it wouldn't look half bad. Make your eyes pop."

"Thanks," Donna muttered, taking another sip of her drink.

They drifted out the French doors onto the lanai. Jackie pulled the covers off of the patio chairs, and they sat, staring out over the green backyard.

Donna snickered. "Hey, remember that birthday party you had when you were like fourteen?"

"Oh, my God." Jackie rolled her eyes hard, the ice in her drink clinking. "How could I forget? Michael showed up with Pattie Miller and then denied that he did. I wouldn't be surprised if she was the first one Michael cheated with and not Pam Macy."

"God, he was a sleaze ball." Donna chuckled. She took a long sip of her drink. "You and Hyde are better together."

"Yes, we are." Jackie agreed.

Silence blossomed between them again. The sun was setting slowly over the trees, bathing them in its orange glow.

"How have you been, Donna?" Jackie heard herself asking. She wasn't sure why she asked. A large part of her didn't care. But these last couple of weeks without Donna's friendship had been far more difficult than Jackie could ever imagine. There were just some things she couldn't talk about with Steven.

"Oh, I've been better," Donna said. She took another sip from her Tequila Sunrise. "I'm better now that I don't have to worry about Eric. That's been a huge weight off of my shoulders."

"He thinks you two are going to end up together, y'know." Jackie divulged.

Donna scoffed. "Yeah, well…"

"So you're really over him?" Jackie stared hard at the side of Donna's face.

Pushing her dark locks back, Donna's cheeks rounded and she exhaled slowly. "Over him? No, I don't think I'll ever be over him. He's been such a huge part of my life. My first everything. But I think it's just that I've realized that we want different things right now. We can't be together."

"Mmm." Jackie hummed, looking away. She sipped her own cocktail, chewing on a piece of ice. What Donna had said made perfect sense to her. It was exactly what she feared was what was going to happen to her and Steven. Especially with her new news. "So if things were different, maybe if you both were older, than you would be able to be together?"

Donna's shoulders rose, hugging her cheeks, and then fell. "I don't know, Jackie… Maybe."

Jackie tipped back the last of her drink, setting the sweating glass on the dirty table. "I got a job offer in Chicago."

"What?" Donna exclaimed. She turned her bright eyes on Jackie. "That's great! What's it for?"

"A producer saw my access show, and he thinks I'd be a great addition to his news team." Jackie said, smiling for the first time since she had received the news. "He wants me to give him my answer as soon as possible."

"That's so great!" Donna said. "What does Steven have to say about it?"

Jackie watched a bead of sweat roll down the side of the glass. "I haven't told Steven yet."

"Oh." Donna said softly. She squinted into the setting sun, bringing her own glass to her lips.

"I don't know how to tell him." Jackie admitted.

"I think you should just tell him."

"Yeah, but Steven means more to me than anything." Jackie burst. "I would stay here for him, if that's what he wanted. I would give it all up. I just need to know that one day we'll get married."

"You'd give up on your dreams and stay _here_?" Donna asked. "What would you do?"

"There's a news station here." Jackie said. "I'll get my degree and then come back and Steven will ask me to marry him and we'll live happily ever after. Easy peasy."

"Wait, wait, wait." Donna set down her glass. "Degree? You want to go to college?"

Jackie felt butterflies erupt in her stomach. "I've actually already been accepted to college. To a couple of colleges."

"What?" Donna screeched. "Why haven't you said anything?"

"Because I didn't know how to tell Steven and with everything that's happened between us, I'm afraid of losing him." Jackie stood suddenly, grabbing hers and Donna's glasses. "I'll be right back."

Jackie hurried back into the living room. She poured them each another drink, her mind a cacophony of confliction. Why had she said anything at all? It was nice to have Donna here, to have a girlfriend to listen and give advice. But for long? Donna had apologized, and Jackie could be the bigger person. But Jackie was always the bigger person in their friendship.

She poured a shot of tequila, tipping it back. The liquor burned all the way down to her stomach.

Donna looked up at Jackie's reappearance, her dark hair still shocking against her pale skin. The sun had nearly set. Frogs began to croak in the distance and the steady hum of the bug zapper on the far edge of the porch seemed suddenly deafening to Jackie's ears.

"Y'know," Jackie began, handing Donna her glass. She sat on the patio chair, drawing her feet up under her. "I am curious about something."

"Shoot." Donna said, setting down her drink on the tabletop.

Jackie's forefinger traced the ring of sweat her glass had left on the table. "Why did you choose Steven? Michael would have jumped for joy at the thought of kissing you."

Donna's face closed off. She took up her drink, gulping a quarter of the mixture. "Kelso would have just told Eric. He can't keep a secret."

"True." Jackie conceded. "But there has to be a reason you chose Steven."

Silence met Jackie's statement. Donna refused to make eye contact. Jackie's feet had begun to fall asleep and she readjusted her position. "You like him. Don't you?"

"Who?" Donna asked.

"Steven." Jackie stated, a burst of laughter escaping her lips. "You like him. That's why all of this happened. That's why you've started calling him 'Steven'."

"No." Donna sneered. "No, I don't like Hyde. I just-" Donna cut herself off, scoffing again. "I needed someone to use, and he was there, and that's what I did. I used him. Look, I've already apologized to you for this, and him for that matter."

"You spoke to Steven?" Jackie asked, whirling on Donna. "When?"

"Before I came here."

"Did he forgive you?"

"I don't know, he was stoned."

"Mmm." Jackie hummed. She turned away. Silence bloomed between them, filled with the animal racket of dusk. "I don't believe you, by the way."

"What?" Donna and Jackie met the others eye.

"I know you like him. I've suspected it for a while now." Jackie continued, smiling like a cat with cream. "You going to try to break us up too? Cozy up back on our good sides and then pull the rug from under us?"

"No!" Donna sputtered. "Jackie. I swear! I don't want your boyfriend. I wish I'd never done what I did. None of this would have happened."

"Oh, ok." Jackie said. "Look I don't know exactly what it is you expected when you came here. That I'd magically forgive you? Fall at your feet and pretend that nothing had happened?"

"Well, no-" Donna started.

"We may have both be selfish in our friendship, but I would never do what you did Donna. I don't know how to forgive you right now."

"Jackie, are you serious?" Donna had tears welling in her eyes. "I know that, I've said that like a million times now. I'm not trying to compare us. That's like comparing apples and oranges."

Jackie cupped her forehead. "Oh, my God, it is always about food with you."

Donna ignored her. "I know that what I did was wrong, and I don't even know why it was that I'd decided in my head at the time that it wouldn't affect anyone. I was only thinking about myself."

"Ya think?"

"And there were many better ways to do what I did."

"Like not doing it at all. Or choosing someone else's boyfriend."

"But all I can say now Jackie is that I'm sorry, and that it won't happen again." Donna beseeched her. "If you never want to speak to me again, I understand."

Jackie felt the hot prickle of tears at the backs of her eyes. She blamed it on the shot of tequila.

"I'll go home. And whenever you're ready to talk to me again…" Donna stood. "My door's always open to you, Jackie."

Nodding her head in understanding, Jackie listened to Donna step off the porch and into the house. With her absence, Jackie was suddenly left with nothing but her thoughts. She needed to talk to Steven. She was suddenly fearful that Donna would spill the beans before she had the chance to tell him herself. Is this how Steven felt when he had kissed Donna? That churn of guilt that gripped your belly and sent tingles up and down your limbs?

Jackie was still sitting on the porch when she heard the rumble of the Camino. She had finished her drink soon after Donna had left, but didn't pour herself another. Her body felt warm. Her head felt heavy. The croaking of the frogs and chirp of cicada's helped her fall into a stupor, waiting patiently on the porch for Steven to find her.

It didn't take him long. The heel of his boot stepped hard onto the concrete and he paused, taking her in.

Steven fell into Donna's vacated chair, eyeing the empty glasses on the table. "I'm guessin' Donna came by?"

"She stopped in." Jackie said.

"You two talk?"

"Yeah, a little bit." Jackie said. "She asked for my forgiveness."

"Did you? Forgive her, I mean."

Jackie sighed, her head leaning back against her seat. "I don't know."

"Yeah, she came to see me too." Steven said, settling into her chair.

"She said you were super stoned."

Steven chuckled. "Yeah, I was."

Jackie chewed on her lip, staring out across the lawn. It sloped up at the back, large Ash trees lining the fence and stretching their branches over the pool. Wind rippled the tall grass. As the sun finally fell behind the row of houses behind the Burkhart's, and the blue glow from the bug zapper lit their bodies, Jackie finally had worked the courage to speak. She felt like she would implode, a billion stars that would cover the patio and the lawn and even Steven himself. But she had to say it first. It had been eating at her since yesterday. She didn't do well with this kind of pressure; it was why she couldn't keep secrets. They bit at her heart and her stomach and she could feel a rash blossoming over her chest and shoulders.

"Steven." Jackie paused, sucking on her lips. He turned to her, face passive. "I've gotta tell you something."

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 **A/N: Don't worry, ducklings. There are still a couple chapters left, maybe two or possibly three. Oh, and did I mention that there will be a sequel?** _ **The Seeker**_ **was started with the intention of following Steven, but Jackie kind of took over, in a way she's want to do. Now this next story, which I've decided in my storyboarding will be called** _ **Twist of Fate**_ **, will equally follow the both of them. But never fear. We have to send all of our characters on their journeys.**


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